Death's Manager
Courtesy of SilverWolf7007
Chapter Six – Interlude One
Or, I Think We Did Something Wrong…
Over one thousand years ago, two witches and two wizards got together and built a castle, which they turned into a school.
In order to run a school, you need two very important things: students and teachers.
Of course, the founders of Hogwarts had an abundance of students – and unfortunately, not very many teachers.
In fact, at first they only had themselves.
However, Salazar, in his infinite wisdom, came up with an idea.
The four of them knew two people who would be more than willing to teach, so they sent an owl.
Mere days later, Jenissa and James arrived.
Helga and Rowena had reservations about allowing the younger of the two vampires to teach. Not, of course, because they feared that James might attack the students.
Well, not in the conventional fashion. But James was more suited to pranking than professorship. But Godric and Salazar were (for once) in total agreement.
Surprisingly, James was a wonderful teacher, as was Jenissa.
Before they died, the Founders extracted a promise from the two vampires, who were staying on to teach and would do so for several more decades.
Both Jenissa and James swore that they and their line would always watch over the school, and to make sure it was always under suitable leadership. They swore to protect the students within. They swore to never allow life at Hogwarts to become boring.
And, in accordance with the only request Helga made of them, they swore to stir things up every once in a while and kidnap one student in particular and deposit him in the office of Death's Manager.
Helga was a Seer, of course.
Far away from where the Gryffindors and Slytherins were researching, and not quite as far yet still not close to where Harry was sending Tom and Salazar into shock, there was a place.
This place was somewhat unspecified, as it had never been officially described in any way.
All that was known about it was that it was (usually) decorated in black, dark red and silver. Although, it had spent a small interval in pale pink, cream and mauve with floral decorations, until the owner of this place had the redecorator smacked around the head. It had also spent a small amount of time as a holiday resort of the damned.
For short, this place was called The Void.
Its full name was The Black Void of Imminent Doom.
Within this Void were the causers of most current troubles. However, they claimed absolutely no responsibility for the evolving cheese. That, they claimed, was someone else cashing in on their causing of trouble.
They had thought they had full control over the situation. They thought nothing could go wrong.
They were, of course, so very wrong it was almost funny.
Almost.
The Black Void of Imminent Doom had accidentally followed the example of Hogwarts by becoming flooded with milk – and that was the least of their problems.
The Originator of the Idea was staring into a one-way mirror with a worried expression. "This wasn't supposed to happen."
"No, really?" said a second culprit sarcastically from his place around the Originator's wrist. "And here was me thinking that you planned for him to want to take over Hogwarts!"
She glared down at him. "He never said he wanted to take over! With any luck, he'll just get rid of Dumbles and stick Minerva in the Headmaster's office – well, Headmistress, if I'm right."
"Oh, I do hope so," her partner-in-crime muttered. "Because if you're wrong, and Harry takes over Hogwarts…well geez, just think! It would be like letting Fred and George become Ministers of Magic!"
"Hm, that's not a bad idea…"
"Jenissa!" he shrieked. "Don't you dare!"
The red haired vampire snickered. "Don't worry, Herring, I wouldn't. At least, its no more likely than me putting Sylvan and James in an administrative position."
She felt the small silver snake shudder against her skin. "Man, don't even suggest things like that! You'll give me nightmares for the rest of my natural life! And that's going to be several thousand years!"
Jenissa just smiled before turning back to the mirror, watching as Harry spoke with Salazar and Tom.
It wasn't long before she sensed two other vampires approaching her from behind, and she turned with a small smile. "Hello Lyssa, Tali. I was worried for a moment that you two were James and Sylvan."
The other two women raised their eyebrows at each other, and the taller laughed softly. "Oh, there's no fear of that, Nissa."
The other woman was looking around the room. "Uh, Niss?"
"Yes, Talia?"
"Not to pry into your private life or anything, but…why on earth is The Void flooded with milk?"
Jenissa sighed. "I'm blaming that one on Bast and Damon."
Alyson snorted. "Why am I not surprised? Still, what did they do?"
"They screwed up when they were supposed to be flooding Hogwarts," the older vampire explained.
Talia and Alyson exchanged another glance before they perched side by side on Jenissa's desk near the enchanted mirror, and joined her watching of the unfolding events.
Meanwhile, the two vampires in question were currently occupying a deserted classroom in Hogwarts.
Damon, black haired and silver eyed, was entertaining them both by writing random and occasionally rude comments on the blackboard.
Sitting on one of the desks, the brunette Sebastian watched with mild amusement as he tried to think up an explanation to give to Jenissa when she asked how the Void had become just as milky as Hogwarts.
Before he got very far, the two of them were interrupted by their contact inside the school, as well as the flood of milk she brought with her.
"Hey!" Damon yelped as the rush of lukewarm liquid hit the back of his legs. He spun around and glared at the girl. "We managed to keep the milk out of this one, you know!"
She simply glared at him before hopping up onto the teacher's desk across from Bast. "Where's Harry?" she asked evenly, looking into his dark blue eyes.
He gave her a nervous smile. "Look, I don't know, exactly. The part about taking Harry somewhere was all Jenissa's idea. And we don't know what she did with him."
"We do know that he's perfectly safe, wherever he is," Damon added in a reassuring tone. "You know Harry far better than we do. I'm sure he's making the most of it, whatever 'it' is. Aren't you?"
The red haired girl sighed in surrender. "I guess so. But if he gets hurt, I'm not going to be the only one who gets infinitely pissed off."
Both men winced. "Oh, we know."
Ginny Weasley smirked. "No, I don't think you do."
Back in the Great Hall, things were getting desperate. The entire Staff Table had been overtaken by the civilisation of evolving cheese, and it was currently entering into negotiations with the milk for free passage to the House Tables, beginning with Hufflepuff.
Luckily for the tables, the House Elves chose that moment to bring the remaining dishes and food back down to the kitchen.
This was not so lucky for the currently overworked House Elves, who were working their ears off trying to get the castle back to her milkless former self. They were not, therefore, prepared to deal with a rebellion from part of breakfast.
Which was why they were overrun and had to flee the kitchen in search of help.
Since they had been bought out from the Ministry by a mysterious benefactor a year after Voldemort's return, the Daily Prophet had been running thrice daily editions.
When they were putting the midday edition together, their editor, Matthew Turpin, had been at first surprised and then horrified at the two short articles that had been sent to them from within the walls of Hogwarts.
He had tried to contact someone in the school, but found that there was no way to either enter or speak with anyone inside. The only communications possible, as the article writer had mentioned, were outgoing owls from the castle.
Not knowing what else to do, and knowing that the writer of these articles had been given special privileges by the new owner of the Prophet to have her articles published immediately, Matthew submitted the articles into the midday edition and informed the Ministry about the sudden lockdown of Hogwarts.
Looking at the first printed copy of the Midday Prophet, Matthew silently wished every student and staff member in the school the best of luck.
They would undoubtedly need it.
The Flooding of Hogwarts: How Did This Happen?
Reported by Ginevra Weasley
Students and staff alike awoke to a very unexpected sight this morning at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
No one was woken during the actual event, but upon waking it became clear that something was wrong.
All rooms in the castle have been flooded with milk, the cause of which is unknown. Also unknown are any ways of dissipating this milk.
A dedicated group of students and professors have begun investigations into this anomaly, and have already ruled out any chance of You-Know-Who being involved.
This reporter vows to keep the outside world up to date on the events within the castle, as an automatic and irreversible lockdown has fallen into place. The only communications currently able to permeate it are outgoing owls.
Boy-Who-Lived Missing!
Reported by Ginevra Weasley
During the chaos that reigned in Hogwarts this morning, not many of the students or staff noticed that Harry Potter, sixth year Gryffindor student, appears to have vanished into thin air.
Sources do not confirm whether Mr Potter's disappearance is in any way connected with the inundation of milk this morning, though there is much speculation.
One student, Luna Lovegood, gave her opinion to this reporter.
"Oh, well, I suppose it's theoretically possible that Harry's disappearance is connected with the milk. But I don't think so. I mean, we all know that Harry doesn't like milk. He may just be hiding somewhere."
Several of the students looking into the appearance of the milk and indirectly the vanishing of Harry Potter were heard discussing the possibility of higher powers at work.
These and many other theories are flying fast around Hogwarts, while most owls no longer are.
In fact, the majority of Hogwarts' owls, barring those privately owned by students, have turned into large brightly coloured fish. This phenomenon has been attributed to being connected to, if not caused by, the milk downpour.
Well, that was random. Direct all questions regarding the fic to…me. Heh.
Machiavelli Jr – Wow. That is pretty random. But I do like randomness. And don't worry, what little point there is will be quite buried under pointlessness. That tends to happen with my writing a lot…
LoonyLoopyLisa – Hee hee, well, I have no idea…I'm sure someone knows who put it there. Might have to find that out…
ISC – Oh. Well that must be a relief. And no, I can honestly say I have never smelt spoilt milk pretending to be a French Whore. But I don't think I'd like to, either… Oh yes, Harry shall return chapter after next. And he shall Plot some more…
Kurai Shinigami – Heh, no I didn't really think anyone would be. Heck, I wasn't expecting it to be Salazar! Godric might, and if he does he'll need Rowena to smack him round the head every so often, and I'm sure Helga would follow…so yeah, there's a pretty good chance they will – but don't quote me on that.
Shakespeares Whore – Well, a tiny plot. Really, microscopic. And yes, you may play with Salazar, but have him back before ten, that's his bedtime.
DeppDRACOmaniac – Heh, don't worry 'bout it, and no, all the firsties made it out alive. Yep, and he's not happy about it. As for Dumbles, that just might end the Twinkle…and we can't think that way! It must be able to be defeated! There has to be a way…
maleficus-lupus – Glad you think so! And as for slash…I don't know. It might, it might not. Even if there is, it'll be mild. But I really don't know.
mlovektowsing - Thank you!
Zeb – That is a very good question, one I realised I needed to think about. And my answer is… Well, the way I see it, Damon and Bast would have spelled it so no one gets hurt. The excess milk down the bottom probably moves back up to the top and starts all over again. So thanks for bringing it up, and I'm glad you like the fic.
ReginaLucifer – Heh, the Twinkle probably is in the story somewhere, and who knows what it'll do? It's very unpredictable. And yeah, Salazar is probably going to be jealous of Godric for getting Harry…Glad you liked, and, well….(innocent smile) Assume away. It was. I thought it was kinda tacky the first time, but since you liked it…(shrug) And I think I did it again in the next chapter…hm…
Love you all!
In the next chapter, we find out all about Ginny's involvement with Damon and Bast, as well as where the House Elves went.
Please review!
S. Wolf