I guess that by now everyone has heard the sad news about Chad and Sophia. All I can say is that whatever the reason for their split, I hope that they manage to resolve it soon because they do truly seem to be in love. I wish them both nothing but happiness whether it is together or apart.
'People that belong together always find their way in the end.'
Flashbacks in italics.
Chapter Thirty Eight: Times When You & I Were You & Me
Brooke stared down at the phone by her bed and bit her lip nervously, her thumbs twiddling and her leg bouncing up and down.
"Stop that." Peyton warned. Brooke turned around to her friend who was sitting beside her on the bed.
"What?" she asked.
"The whole leg thing. It's moving the bed and I can't draw," Peyton complained.
"There's a desk over there!" Brooke pointed across the room and Peyton snorted.
"You mean the one buried under all your junk? The bed's just fine," the blonde said.
"Then quit complaining." Brooke bit back irritably.
"What's going on?" Haley asked as she returned with some popcorn.
"Brooke's pining over the phone again," Peyton explained.
"I am not doing the phone thing," Brooke replied indignantly.
"Let's see," Haley said pretending to think. "Is Brooke sitting next to the phone?"
"Check." Peyton replied.
"Is she biting her lip-slash-nails?" Haley continued. Peyton craned her neck to see, and Brooke slowly moved her thumb away from her mouth.
"Check."
"Is she doing that annoying leg bounce?" Haley asked.
"Yup!" Peyton said.
"Ding-ding-ding! I think Brooke is pining over the phone." Haley announced with a grin.
"I hate you both," Brooke pouted as she crossed her arms and turned away from the phone – focusing instead on the TV in front of her.
However, her act of defiance lasted mere seconds as her glance traveled once again to her phone.
"He hasn't called yet, huh?" Haley asked a little more sympathetically when she saw Brooke's disappointed look. Brooke, however, tried to cover it up with a shrug.
"No, not yet. He's probably busy or sleeping…" she said, 'hopefully alone'.
"Don't forget the time difference," Peyton added trying to ease her best friend's mind.
"Oh yeah, it could be really late there." Haley suggested.
"I'm not bothered about it," Brooke said, "Just because he calls most days doesn't mean he'll call everyday. He's probably at a museum or something."
"At least he calls you," Haley huffed, "We've had eight phone calls while he's been away and four postcards."
"I haven't had any phone calls or postcards!" Peyton whined with a grin. "When does he come home, anyway?"
"Two weeks," Brooke replied with a sigh.
"He's been gone that long already?" Peyton exclaimed. "B. Davis, please tell me you haven't wasted all summer in front of the damn phone!"
"Not the whole summer…" Brooke protested, "We've done a lot together. We went out to the beach, had parties, went to the mall…"
"I remember spending a lot of time in this room," Haley mused, "Hey! Is that why you're always offering to come back to yours?"
"I have a bigger room!" Brooke defended her decisions over the summer. There was a knock at the door and all three girls turned their attention on Karen, who peered into the room.
"Hey girls. Just to let you know that Dan will be on his way home in about half an hour," she fixed her gaze on Haley, who nodded in reply.
"Want me to help you with dinner?" Brooke offered as she moved off her bed and helped her friends pick up their belongings.
"No, it's almost done." Karen told Brooke, "But if you've got nothing to do – I do have one favor to ask." She seemed a little hesitant to continue.
"What is it?" Brooke questioned. Karen sighed and cocked her head to the side.
"You don't have to do it if you don't want to," Karen clarified.
"Unless it's something icky and gross, then I'll totally do it," Brooke grinned.
Karen glanced at the two girls who were almost ready to leave and then back at Brooke, "Dan wants Lucas out of here as soon as possible – so I thought that we could start packing up his things. Not his clothes or anything since most of that is with him, but some of his trophies, DVDs and CDs he might want." Karen explained.
Brooke's grinned faded, "Oh."
"You don't have to do it if you're busy or if it's too… hard," Karen repeated. Brooke shook her head.
"No, no. I'll do it." She said confidently.
"Are you sure?" Peyton rubbed Brooke's arm comfortingly. "Because I can stay for a while." Brooke shook her head.
"No, I'll be fine." Brooke said. Peyton and Haley nodded somewhat slowly before leaving the house. Karen lingered at Brooke's doorway for a few moments after they left.
"Brooke, you don't have to do this. I have no idea why I even asked. I just thought it'd be easier so that he could spend time with Nathan and his friends before he left."
"No, I understand," Brooke said, "He's spent two months living out of a suitcase; I doubt he wants to do more packing."
Karen nodded, "Well, dinner will only be another twenty minutes. After that, I'll take over."
"I'll do it," Brooke said once again. Satisfied, Karen returned to the kitchen, leaving Brooke with the task before her.
With an uneasy sigh, Brooke left the comforts of her own room, and entered Lucas'.
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Basking under the hot sun of Italy, Lucas sat opposite Stephanie Smith as they sipped coffee.
"Have you called your parents yet?" Steph asked. Lucas shook his head.
"No, not today."
"Well, maybe you should when we get back to the hotel." Steph replied. Lucas nodded. "You seem distracted again," she commented, "Brooke?"
Lucas nodded. During their vacation, Lucas had found himself strangely able to confide in his friend's step-mother. He'd told her all about his relationship with Brooke, and his family background, including Dan pushing everyone away. She'd been there to listen at first, but now she found herself giving the young man advice and her own opinions.
"I was just thinking…" he began as he leant back in his chair, "She was the only girl I ever loved."
"You've told me that before."
"Yeah, I know. But with all the other girls – they were just there. The minute I turned my back on them, they were gone. I didn't have to deal with them anymore. Then suddenly, I spend months with a girl before we began dating, and we become friends, start dating – and after we break up, I can't turn away from the problem anymore. I have to see her or talk to her. I've never had to do that before. It's hard."
"Well, it's always easy to go from friends to a couple. But it's much harder going from a couple to friends. Things change; hearts have been broken, and you're not as intimate anymore. It's normal. Plus, I thought you and Brooke were talking and hanging around each other."
"It's different though." Lucas sighed, "The amount of times I'd be looking at her and just want to kiss her. I was so used to holding her hand, or sitting close to her. Whenever we go out now, there's always this barrier between us."
"It has to be expected, Lucas." Steph told him. "You just work at it."
"I guess…" Lucas replied.
"Talk to her when you get back," she advised, "You only have a few weeks before Duke, so you'd better make the most of it. I remember when I split up with my high school boyfriend. I still loved him, and from what I heard, he still loved me. The only thing is that neither of us had the courage to speak up and come clean about the way we were feeling. So we put it off and went our separate ways. Seven years later, and bam! He married a girl he met in college, they have a kid – and I have Barry and… Tim. I'm not saying that I don't love Barry and I don't enjoy my life – but there's always that 'what if' scenario running through my head. Things could have worked out between us, or they may not have. Either way, at least I would have known for sure."
Lucas silently listened to the story. "You're a sweet kid, Lucas. And I can tell from the way you talk about her that you still love her – a lot. But it means nothing if you're not man enough to admit your feelings and see where it takes you."
Steph finished her little speech and sighed as she asked for the bill, "Come on," she urged, "You haven't experienced Italy if you haven't taken a gondola ride."
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"Hey Lucas," Nathan greeted as he picked up the phone, "I'm surprised you remember you have a brother!" he joked.
"Ha, you're funny. I've just been busy." Lucas' voice on the other end was slightly faint and cracked.
"Not busy enough to call home practically every other day. What's up with that?" Nathan complained.
"Sorry, Nate," Lucas apologized.
"Don't worry. It's Haley that's taken it personally. I know you're enjoying yourself to much to care about us. So, where are you?"
"In my hotel room in Italy."
"Italy? Cool. Where's Tim?"
"He and his dad have gone to watch some soccer match."
"You didn't go?" Nathan asked. "I thought you liked soccer."
"I didn't feel like it. I spent the day with Steph."
"Looking at boring places where boring authors wrote boring books?" Nathan asked.
"Actually," Lucas' tone was a little scathing at his brother's remark, "We decided to just enjoy Italy. We went for a gondola ride."
"Isn't that one of those little boats?"
"Yeah. Dude, pick up an encyclopedia once in a while," Lucas shook his head and chuckled on the other end.
"So, how was it?" Nathan asked. There was silence on the other end.
"Are you alone?" Lucas asked. Nathan frowned.
"Yeah… this isn't going to be anything disturbing, is it?"
"What I'm about to tell you can't leave the room. Or this conversation. You can't even tell Haley."
"What did you do?" Nathan asked.
"I… I kissed Steph."
"You made out with Tim's mom!" Nathan exclaimed.
"I didn't make out with her, I just kissed her. It was like a… three second thing. Plus, she's Tim's step-mom."
"Whatever, dude, you still did it. How did it happen?"
"Don't make this a big deal."
"It is a big deal, Lucas. She's married, and our best friend's step-mother. You can't do that."
"I know that, Nate! But that's beside the point."
"There's a point other than you wanting to be Tim's new dad?"
"It wouldn't make me—oh, forget it!" Lucas muttered. "I knew it was a mistake telling you if you're not going to help…"
"No, Lucas, I'll help but… dude." Nathan sighed, "Was it good? Cos she's hot…"
"You're married…" Lucas warned, "And it was okay, I guess. It's not going to happen again. We both agreed it was a mistake straight after it happened."
"Why did you kiss her?" Nathan asked.
"I don't know. I just got caught up in the moment. Italy is an amazing place and we were surrounded by all these couples… I just kissed her, I didn't even think." Lucas explained. "I apologized and she said it was okay – but warned me never ever to do it again." He chuckled slightly, "Did you know she's a black belt in karate?"
"No," Nathan replied, "So, she was cool with it?"
"She knew I had a lot of stuff on my mind."
"Stuff like…" Nathan urged.
"Brooke." Lucas confessed.
"Figures."
"But kissing Steph made me realize something," Nathan waited patiently for Lucas to continue, "She's the first girl I've kissed since Brooke and I broke up."
"And?" Nathan didn't see the point.
"And… it was good. It felt freeing or something. For months I've been tip-toeing around Brooke, not knowing how to act around her, whether we'd be getting back together or not. After what happened at Tim's party, even looking at another girl besides Brooke made me feel guilty, even though we weren't together. I don't know… I think kissing Steph was that jump I needed to… finally move on."
"Move on?" Nathan repeated. He wasn't entirely sure what Lucas was getting at.
"Don't you understand? I can finally stop pining over Brooke and accept that we'll never be together again. I'd be okay seeing her with someone else, and I think I'm ready to be with someone else." Lucas seemed pleased and satisfied.
"That's great, man. I'm happy for you." Nathan told him. "So… does this mean you've seen pretty Italian girls?" he questioned. Lucas chuckled.
"No, none that stick out in my mind but… who knows?" he sighed, "Anyway, bro, I'd better get going. Tell Haley I haven't forgotten about her, okay?"
"Sure thing." He paused, "I still can't believe you made out with—"
"Dude!" Lucas warned, "Get over it."
"Fine, fine," Nathan conceded, "Just… make sure Tim never finds out." Lucas agreed whole-heartedly. "Take care, man. I'll see you in a few weeks."
"See ya," Lucas hung up the phone just as his hotel door opened. He groaned, "Tim, what have I said about knocking?"
Tim didn't hear Lucas' comment and instead thrust a piece of paper in front of Lucas' face.
"What's that?" Lucas asked.
"The number of a fine girl I met at the soccer match," Tim said excitedly.
"That's nice." Lucas wasn't the least bit interested in Tim's latest exploit.
"We're going on a date tonight… and she's bringing a friend." Tim wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Tim…" Lucas began, knowing where this was going.
"Luke! Come on! We've been touring around for months and you haven't hooked up with a girl once." Lucas' mind quickly fluttered to his earlier kiss with Steph.
"So?"
"So?" Tim repeated, "You have to get back in the game. Or are you still into Brooke?"
"I'm not into Brooke anymore," Lucas revealed.
"Then what's the problem?" Tim asked, "Because before you and Brooke hooked up, you were always up for a one night thing. Now you're all…"
"I'll go," Lucas agreed with a hint of annoyance in his voice. He figured agreeing would be the only way to shut Tim up, and give himself an opportunity to get out there again.
Tim's grin grew wider, "Man, this is going to—"
"Rock? Yes, I know. Get out of my room," Lucas said with a small roll of his eyes.
Tim obliged and left the room, but Lucas could here Tim faintly whooping in delight. He shook his head and turned to his closet.
What to wear?
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Brooke piled the CDs into boxes, glancing once or twice at the artists and rolling her eyes. Lucas never did have good taste. Although she had to admit that she'd enjoyed one or two when she'd heard them. Or, rather, was forced to listen to them.
She grinned slightly as she tossed a particular one into the box.
"Lucas, I don't want to listen to your crappy music," Brooke was sat on Lucas' bed while he was fiddling with his CD player.
"I'll be five seconds," he promised.
"But I want to make out now…" Brooke whined. He shook his head and smiled.
"I'm almost there," he told her. Brooke sighed and waited impatiently until she heard strummings of music begin to play. "Finally!" she exclaimed.
"Listen to it." He told her. She sighed heavily and listened to a few seconds.
"Done. Now kiss me," she demanded. He chuckled.
"For longer than five seconds."
"We can listen while we're making out. It's called multi-tasking." She grinned. He shook his head.
"Listen to the words," he said gently. She frowned.
'…Lay me down in a field of flame and heather. Render up my body into the burning heart of God in the belly of a black-winged bird…'
"Sound familiar?" Lucas asked. Brooke nodded and his grin grew wide. "That's because it's our song."
"When did we agree to this?" Brooke pulled away from Lucas as he leaned in to kiss her. "I don't even know what this is!"
"It's The Counting Crows. 'Rain King'? It was playing on the radio when we agreed to start dating after the Classic." Lucas sighed, wondering if he'd just made an idiot out of himself. Fortunately, Brooke slowly nodded as she remembered some of the words.
"Oh, now I remember!" she smiled before it faded, "Isn't this a really depressing song?" she seemed offended.
"Uh…" Lucas scratched the back of his head, "forget about the words. It's the importance behind it."
"Why couldn't we have some happy song?" she asked, "Like some boy band song where they're declaring their love for their woman while dancing and posing for the camera?"
"Because we're not in the 90s anymore," Lucas replied. "It's a good song!"
"Yeah, well it's nice to know that 'our song' includes the words 'dying' and 'lying'."
"Brooke, would you forget about the lyrics? This song has a lot of meaning behind it. It marked the start of our official relationship… one month ago…" he trailed off hoping she'd get the hint.
"What was the song we listened to when—" he silenced her with a kiss.
As they pulled apart, he grinned and whispered; "Happy one month anniversary, Brooke."
Brooke pushed the box to once side as she crawled towards Lucas' closet, knowing that he kept some of his old CDs in a box there too. As she rooted around the top shelf of the closet, trying to find the box without then falling on top of her; she caught sight of one she'd never seen before. Momentarily forgetting what she was supposed to be doing, she pulled out the unfamiliar one and blew off the thin layer of dust.
Sitting herself down on the floor, she opened the top of it and peered inside, her mouth slowly falling open as she inspected the contents.
It was his 'Brooke box'.
There were items of clothing Brooke forgotten existed, piles of pictures carefully stored in safe corners or on the inside of books, ticket stubs from movies they'd gone to see, and coasters from bars they'd been to. She pulled out a book and out fell a line of pictures they'd taken in a photobooth during a trip to the mall.
They'd been goofing around, and Brooke just happened to have an ice cream, which gradually found its way all over Lucas' face within the time it took to take four pictures.
The edges of Brooke's lips twitched into a grin as memories of their better times came flooding back; the box acting like a catalyst as feelings she hadn't felt for months began to resurface.
She had missed him while he was away for the summer, but she that had been the entire entity of Lucas Scott. She'd missed him being there at breakfast and dinner. She missed hearing his lame music blasting out from his room. His video games that hadn't been played for a while were slowly gathering dust near the Playstation.
Now, she began to miss those smirks he'd give her on the sly; the way he'd squint when thinking or reading one of his books; how he'd wrestle the remote away from her when he wanted to watch ESPN and she wanted to watch E!. She missed hearing his voice – especially the way it dipped low when he wished her good night as they disappeared into their individual rooms.
"Brooke! Dinner's ready!" Karen's voice broke her out of her reverie.
She roughly wiped at tears she had only realized were falling and quickly put all the stuff back in the box. Brooke pushed it back to the top of the closet and shut it quickly, wondering if she'd made a mistake by discovering it.
She hoped that by the time dinner was over, the rush of old feeling would somehow fade and she could go back to only thinking of him as a friend. The last thing she needed to do was return to the past and put herself out there again. Inevitably, it would only result in a broken heart. The best thing to do would be to forget the discovery and move on.
Unfortunately, it was not to be.
That night, she lay in bed awake and staring at the ceiling. Her own 'Lucas box' had been taken out and looked at before being stuffed back into the darkest corner of her closet as if it was evidence she didn't want around her.
Brooke closed her eyes momentarily and thought about what Lucas would say if she told him that she wanted another try. The thought brought a small smile formed on her face.
But unknown to her; Lucas had already let her go, and whatever remnants of romantic feelings he had for her, were gradually fading as the night wore on.
To Be Continued…