Potentially Problematic

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

A/N:Just thought I'd warn everyone that there is some OOC this chapter.

(2 – Do androids dream in electric sleep?)

(1)

"Rest assured." Jr. said, striking a heroic pose. "We'll catch the bastards who did this!"

"In which case it would be best to investigate the scene of the crime and gather evidence." Ziggy said, sounding very business-like. "I was a cop once, after all."

"Right." Jr. nodded in agreement. "Okay, Ziggy. You can head the investigation. I'll see if I can get Momo to direct link with the UMN and gather any other information."

"I will assist Ziggurat 8." KOS-MOS announced.

"I will go make Capitan Matthews a tequila." Panache left abruptly.

(2)

"Find anything?" Jr. asked the 100-series observational realian prototype Momo currently working at the UMN terminal.

"Not really. Nothing on giant robot parts, anyway." Momo turned away from the screen looking tired. "How're Ziggy and KOS-MOS doing?"

"Not so good. It seems the thief didn't leave any evidence behind." Jr. folded his arms across his chest and frowned.

"Why don't you get Shion to help them?"

"Hey…" Jr.'s eyes widened at the idea. "I could get Shion and Allen to work together. Like alone."

"That's a good idea Jr.!" Momo smiled. "You're so smart."

"I know." Jr. said with a huge, proud grin stretched from ear to ear.

"Jr." Ziggy said from behind him. "Sorry to interrupt…"

"What's up?" Jr. turned around, the smile faded, and his face took on a more serious expression.

"KOS-MOS and I are having a hard time, and it would help if we had the proper equipment. Is there some way you could talk to Tony or Matthews about stopping at a dock colony to get the supplies we need to finish with the investigation?"

"Sure thing." Jr. nodded.

"I haven't seen Tony all day." Momo commented, returning her attention to the UMN panel.

"I'll find him. He's got to be around here somewhere." Jr. said, thinking.

(3)

"What is wrong with you?" Tony sat down next to Allen in the Elsa bar. The only reason he was talking to Allen was because he couldn't find Hammer, his usual victim, or chaos.

"All my hopes… my dreams… all gone…" Allen said between the tears.

"Just calm down, man – here, have some water. There you go, deep breaths. Calm down. Now – tell me what happened."

Allen looked at Tony for a moment, before taking a deep breath and telling him of the conversation he had with Shion Uzuki the night before.

(4)

"Man… I can't believe it…" Tony slammed his fist down on the table, scattering a few empty shot glasses.

"I mean… its Shion. I've worked with her years…" Allen's words were a little slurred, but that didn't seem to hinder the conversation. "I mean, I never knew."

"Damn. And she was hot too. I mean… she was HOTT." Tony added.

"…yeah…" Allen sighed. "I never knew she was… well, you know."

"Gay?"

"Yeah…" Allen seemed reluctant to repeat the word. "But you know… it got me thinking… How do you know someone's… you know…"

"I guess you don't." Tony shrugged.

"I mean… for all I know… I could be… you know." Allen was thinking aloud, he wasn't all that mindful of Tony's face drifting closer and closer towards his own.

"There you are!" Jr. suddenly burst into the bar with little warning. He was mildly irritated, having been searching for Tony for nearly an hour.

But something was wrong. Tony was not his usual, energetic self. He and Allen were sitting at the bar, staring sulkily into a plate of curry. There were empty liquor bottles and shot glasses scattered everywhere. "Are you guys okay?" Jr. raised an eyebrow. This was unusual… actually, acting sulky was more of a typical behavior for Allen, yet it was strange to see Tony in such a state.

"I don't know, Jr." Tony said finally. "I don't know."

"Oh. Well, we have to get to the dock colony. So you have to take us there." A noise from behind them drew Jr.'s attention. He turned around in time to see Shion enter.

"Okay, okay." Tony stood up, trying his best to ignore the female scientist and then promptly fell over.

"How much did he have to drink?" Jr. rushed over to help the pilot sit up.

"I don't remember." Allen shot Shion an accusatory glance and started spinning his barstool around in a circle. "We lost count after we went through all the vodka."

Shion knelt down beside Tony to assess his condition. She looked uncomfortable under Allen's scrutiny. Jr. didn't seem to notice.

"This man is in no condition to pilot a spacecraft." Shion announced.

"Great. Now what're we gonna do?" Jr. stood up and folded his arms across his chest, looking slightly annoyed.

"I guess we're going to have to wait until Tony sobers up." Shion sighed.

"Nah. I can still do it. I only had a few drinks…" Tony protested weakly, trying to stand up before falling over again.

"I think we'll all be safer on autopilot." Jr. thought aloud.

(5)

Deciding that they would have to make do without sophisticated equipment, Ziggy and KOS-MOS continued their investigation down in the basement of the Robot Academy.

"Ziggurat 8." KOS-MOS stood over Ziggy, who was crouched down on the ground inspecting a dirt sample. "I have found black clothing fibers. It is not unreasonable for me to believe that these belonged to the thief."

"Nice work." Ziggy stood up quickly, nearly bumping heads with the android. KOS-MOS quickly stepped back to avoid the collision. "Sorry." Ziggy hastily apologized.

"That was not a typical reaction. Perhaps you suffer from a sensory malfunction. It would be best to correct this problem immediately." KOS-MOS said in her usual flat tone, though her comment initially seemed to stem from concern. Ziggy chose to disregard her comment.

"Where did you find the clothing sample?" He asked. KOS-MOS pointed.

"The fibers are flammable." The android added. Ziggy nodded to acknowledge this, but he didn't really see how this piece of information was necessary. Most clothes were flammable. Ziggy remained silent as he continued to examine the sample. "Ziggurat 8," KOS-MOS spoke again.

"Yes?" Ziggy turned his head so that he could look at her, yet she remained silent. KOS-MOS just stared at him with her eerily vacant eyes. It was possible she had developed a glitch. She finally spoke after staring at him for nearly ten minutes.

"Perhaps it would be best to watch over this space until morning should the intruder return."

"That would be wise." Ziggy agreed.

(6)

"Well, I think we've managed to get the security system up and running," chaos reported to Jr. They were currently up on the bridge with Hammer and Capitan Matthews.

"So if anyone gets in, we'd know about it." Hammer finished. "I made a few revisions to the programming, so hopefully, it'll actually work this time."

"That's good." Jr. said.

"And we had to actually have something stolen before we realized there was no security system." Captain Matthews grumbled.

"Well, Capitan, our security isn't exactly airtight." Chaos said gently.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Matthews raised an eyebrow.

"We went with the cheapest system on the market, at your suggestion. We were running low on cash at the time." Hammer explained.

"So how much did the new system cost?" Matthews was beginning to look worried.

Hammer and chaos looked at each other, and decided to ignore Captain Matthew's question.

Jr. decided that this would be a good time to leave. "Well, it's getting late. I should probably get to bed."

He was on his way to the cabin when he saw that Momo had fallen asleep at the UMN terminal. Jr. smiled before making his way over towards her, trying to be as quiet as possible. He took off his trenchcoat and draped it over her sleeping form.

"Goodnight." He whispered.

(8)

"It is getting late." KOS-MOS announced.

"Yes it is." Ziggy agreed. This was how the two had passed their time together. They would sit in silence for a while, until KOS-MOS made a fairly obvious observation, Ziggy would agree and then they would become silent again.

"I suggest we utilize this time frame in a more productive manner." KOS-MOS said immediately after, breaking the chain of silence.

"How would we do that?" Ziggy raised an eyebrow, perplexed by KOS-MOS's unusual behavior.

(9)

"…Ziggy?" Momo rubbed at her eyes sleepily, the trenchcoat she was wearing covered her hands. "…What are you doing?"

All of the lab's equipment had been pushed off to the side of the room, the android and Cyborg stood in the center, rather, it looked more like they were standing upside-down.

"We are preparing for battle by utilizing an ancient exercise technique." KOS-MOS explained.

"This is actually a really good stretch for my neck." Ziggy commented.

"Gaignun Kukai Jr. was kind enough to instruct me in 'yoga' this morning." KOS-MOS explained.

"Oh. Okay. Well, um… I was up on the bridge and this light that says 'security' was flashing. I think that's bad. So I thought I'd tell you."

Ziggy quickly regained his normal posture and headed towards the staircase.

"He's in the ventilation system." He said to KOS-MOS.

"I will sound the alarm." The android stood up, and in one fluid motion, broke the glass case that housed the emergency lever and pulled it. The entire ship basked in a red light and an alarm sounded briefly. It was just enough wake the crew.

Momo looked up at the air duct, just in time to see someone clothed in a black ninja costume kick out the metal grating and emerge. Before the not-so observational realian had even the chance to scream, the ninja had grabbed her and was holding a very, very sharp knife at her throat.

"Let her go!" It was Jr.

"Jr. … he's not listening… aack!" Momo was cut off as the ninja pressed the blade closer against her throat. "Please… I don't like knives." Momo pleaded in a whisper.

"If you do not release the 100-series observational unit prototype I will be forced to do something drastic." KOS-MOS stated, drawing her revolver.

"KOS-MOS!" Shion hissed. "That information is supposed to be confidential."

"I do not want the intruder to become confused. It hinders negotiations in hostage situations." KOS-MOS explained.

"Give me the robot head and I won't hurt your girlfriend." The ninja said. He directed this comment towards Jr.

"Listen, man – it's not like that…" Jr. prepared himself for a long-winded explanation.

"Jr., now is not the time!" Shion scolded him.

"Don't worry, Jr." Allen placed his hand on the U.R.T.V's shoulder. "She's just jealous because you have a girlfriend and she doesn't."

Everyone stared at Shion in shock. The Scientist was mortified. "I – I…" She began, clearly uncomfortable with so many people staring at her. She took a deep breath. "Alright! It's time for me to come clean! I'm a lesbian and I don't care who knows it!" Shion Uzuki proclaimed, pumping her fists in the air.

Captain Matthews dropped his mug of coffee. The room was dead silent.

"What's a lesbian?" Momo finally broke the silence.

"Someone just get me the robot parts!" The Ninja was clearly becoming frustrated.

"I told you – I don't like knives." Momo hissed.

"Shut up."

Momo's eyes narrowed. Before the Ninja thief even knew what was happening, the realian had elbowed him sharply in the stomach and had him flat on the ground in a matter of seconds. She then balled her hands up into fists and began beating him about the face. Ziggy and Shion had to pull her off of him. The mask had fallen away to reveal a middle aged man with graying hair and wrinkles.

"Momo…" Jr. said, sounding impressed. "You totally beat the crap out of that guy."

"Nah," Momo brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "He was old. Old people go down easy."

"Could it be…" Assistant Scott stepped forward.

"It's been a long time… brother." The unmasked ninja smiled.