Death's Manager
Courtesy of SilverWolf7007
Chapter Ten – Uh Oh…
Or, Aren't We Forgetting Someone?
Harry, who was smiling serenely at Sylvan and Damon over his steepled fingers, was also trying his best not to start snarling at them. He was quite enjoying his time here, but was nevertheless somewhat annoyed that no one had asked for his consent before Gryffie-napping him.
Sylvan sighed and sank into the orange beanbag. "Look, it's a really long story."
"Two things," Harry pointed out, holding up two fingers. "Just two. One, I'm sure we have a while. Two, you could always give us the condensed version."
"All right," Damon agreed brightly as he dropped into the even brighter lime green beanbag. "There was a prophecy, there were some vampires, there was a school of magic, there was some milk, there was some kid with a funny hyphenated nickname, and there was an office belonging to Death's Manager. Stir and serve, and one gets this mess," he concluded, waving a hand expansively.
There was mostly silence after that, in which several people blinked rapidly and Tom wondered exactly what he had done in his rather unremarkable past to warrant this kind of treatment and stress.
Sylvan broke this bemused silence with a theatrical sigh. "Damon, you moron," he muttered, slapping the younger vampire around the back of the head. "Honestly, I wonder about you sometimes. Don't know how Talia puts up with you."
"Practice?" Harry suggested dryly.
"Would have to be lots of it," Sylvan said with a nod.
"Quite."
Lily cleared her throat. "Not to interrupt your indirect insults, gentlemen, but as the 'condensed' version made about as much sense as a kangaroo on a vacuum cleaner trying to paint a Hippogriff yellow, I'm going to take the initiative to ask for something less vague."
"Ah, but Damon is the prince of vague, didn't you know?" Harry asked in mock surprise. His mother did not look impressed. "All right, all right. And I have to admit to my own curiosity. Sylvan? The floor is yours."
"Why thank you," the blond vampire said, bowing in his seat and rolling his eyes. "Anyway, so Helga made this prophecy…"
"…And so, here we all are," Sylvan finished with a relieved sigh.
"So why, dare I even ask, is Harry – not to mention the rest of us – even here?" Cedric asked after a moment's pause. "I mean, there's got to be a reason."
"There probably is," Damon agreed. "But we probably wont even know what that reason is until it's all over."
"I wouldn't be surprised," James muttered. "Prophecies are stupid, untrustworthy, annoying, mostly falsified – "
"Uh, Dad? You're ranting."
James looked utterly shocked. "Well would you look at that? So I am."
Harry shook his head. "Never mind. Anyway, there are a couple of things currently occurring to me."
"Oh? And what would those be?" asked a somewhat wary Tom.
"Thing one: we're missing someone. Thing two: I haven't explained my plan yet."
Tom groaned. "All right, brat. Who do you want me to call in so we can get on with this bloody explanation?"
Harry pulled a folder out from under his beanbag, checked to make sure his nails had emerged unscathed (they had), and handed it to Tom.
"Oh, of course,' he sighed. "I should have guessed." He wrote the summons and everyone waited in silence until the telltale jingle and snap heralded the arrival of Remus Lupin.
Remus blinked and looked around, taking in the people he was currently sharing a room with. "I'm not even going to ask just yet," he sighed, sinking into the final (black) beanbag.
Grinning, Harry waved. "Hiya, Uncle Moony!"
Rolling his eyes affectionately, Remus smiled back. "Hello, Harry. Have I missed much?"
Harry shrugged. "Naw. Just Sylvan explaining how Helga Hufflepuff made a prophecy that he helped carry out. Welcome to Death's office."
Sirius cleared his throat. "Please Moony, I beg you. Tell me you're just as confused as I am?"
Remus laughed. "Oh, probably not, I'm afraid. I spent a portion of summer with Harry, so I can't say anything really surprises me any more."
Harry smirked at him. "I'm going to overthrow Dumbledore, take over Hogwarts, instate Professor McGonagall as Headmistress, deal with Voldie and then go on holiday somewhere with nice beaches."
"Ah."
"Surprised?"
"Nope."
"Damn." Harry looked around and saw that barring Cedric, the new arrivals were all in a similar state of shock to what had befallen Tom and Salazar earlier. He glanced at Remus's hands. "Moony…"
"No."
"Please?"
"No. Har, you're the only evil little usurper of power that I've met and actually liked – "
"And the only one, I'll bet," Harry muttered.
"But I refuse to let you paint my nails," Remus finished, ignoring Harry's interruption.
"Don't even think about it," Cedric warned as Harry's eyes strayed to him.
"I'm not even going to ask," he told Tom, who was just glaring at him. "So don't worry."
Lily shook herself suddenly. "Thank god!"
"What?" the three of them demanded.
"I honestly think that it's past time Dumbledore got what's coming to him."
Harry grinned brightly. "I'm glad you think so. Will you help?"
"Undomesticated equines could not prevent me," she told him solemnly.
"Lils, stop trying to be funny," Sirius complained, evidently over his shock. "We're not going to be able to help Harry take over Hogwarts if we've all died in horror from your bad jokes."
"Sirius!"
He smiled innocently. "Sorry Lily darling, but it's true."
"You chatting up my wife again, Black?" James accused, hiding a grin.
"Like I would! She's bloody insane, I tell you!"
"Well, yes," James allowed. "But in a good way."
Lily threw up her hands in exasperation. "Males! Honestly!"
"I take offence at that accusation," Harry said mildly.
"You're not male?" Damon asked with a raised eyebrow.
Harry glared at him. "Who said you could speak? I'm still annoyed with you."
He and Sylvan exchanged a glance and a shrug. "So?"
"So, I wont let you prank Death and help take over Hogwarts if you don't be nice to me and do everything I say."
"You drive a hard bargain, kid," Sylvan sighed. "All right, we'll be good."
Harry smirked over his steepled fingers. "Excellent."
"So Harry," James began curiously. "Dumbledore has that weird addiction to sweets. Is that just his personal quirk, or do all insane genius's have weird sugar addictions?"
Harry grinned and held out his hand. "You tell me." He concentrated for a moment.
Nothing happened.
"I know it works here, I had one a while ago," he muttered with a frown. "What…"
Remus was looking at him with concern. "Are you all right, Harry? What are you trying to do?"
"Someone's bloody well tampered with my sherbet lemon stash!" he exclaimed indignantly. "Who the hell would dare do that?"
"I can think of someone," the werewolf admitted with dread in his tone.
"Oh?" Harry said poisonously. "Who?"
Remus swallowed. "A lemon drop deprived Albus Dumbledore."
Harry's eye twitched. "Dumbles is going down," he said ominously.
It took some work, but they eventually got Harry calmed enough to move back onto his original reason for bringing them all.
"You want us to prank Death?" Lily asked in a strange tone. "Are you completely mad, Harry?"
Harry pouted. "Not completely," he said sulkily. "Just mostly."
James, Sirius and Remus, on the other hand, were nowhere near as reluctant. They merely saw it as a challenge – and a chance for the Marauders to work together once more.
Cedric was likewise eager, as he (along with many Hogwarts students over the past several years) had worshipped the Marauders – though not knowing their true identities, of course – and revelled in the chance to work with them.
Sylvan had produced a small notepad and a pen from his pocket and was making a list of ideas, with a worried and somewhat nervous Damon hanging over his shoulder, alternately giving suggestions and muttering about their imminent deaths should they dare presume.
Tom was just watching them all, grinning evilly. He was obviously pleased with Harry's choices of pranksters.
It took Harry all of ten minutes to talk his mother into going along with them, and another five seconds for her to become enthusiastic about the idea.
Harry grinned in delight. Once they had set up some lovely traps for Death, Kyra, Tom's Fairy Godfather and the Tooth Fairy, they were going to work on his plot against Dumbledore.
Oh yes, that bearded maniac was going down. Down, so very far down… "Hm, maybe I should bury him alive," he mused.
Lily eyed him worriedly and leaned over to whisper to Tom. "I don't suppose you could get him some sherbet lemons? I'm concerned that he's not exactly…stable without them."
Tom raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm fairly sure he's not stable at the best of times, Lily. But yes, I can get him some."
She smiled in relief. "Thank you. And might I suggest a little redecorating? I daresay Death would hate that."
Sylvan looked up sharply from his notebook, almost slamming his head into Damon's nose. "Did someone say redecorating?" he asked with a strange glint in his eyes. "I love to redecorate."
Tom smirked. "Oh please. Have at it."
"Ooooh, fun!" Sylvan bounced out of his beanbag and turned to Tom. "Do you have any large pieces of paper? And some crayons?"
Partially worried and partially curious, Tom found Sylvan some paper he deemed suitable and ducked out of the office to find crayons and sherbet lemons.
He returned not long after and passed the items to their respective recipients.
Sylvan immediately got to work designing his masterpiece, while Harry offered sherbet lemons to everyone around the one in his mouth.
Once everyone was sucking on a sweet, he dropped the bag next to Sylvan's crayons on Tom's desk and leaned over the vampire's shoulder, making recommendations as the drawing progressed.
This, Tom realised as he surveyed the group in his office, was going to be immensely fun.
Whee, randomness.
Fun…
Shakespeares Whore – Oh, they're wonderful. Honest, I got both a friend of mine and my mother hooked on them as well as myself. Well, I'm glad you're enjoying your playtime with the Founders.
Kaaera – Heh. As you can see, Harry does not react well to people messing with his stash. As for the cheese…well. You'll see. But I think you'll be fine eating it as long as it's not a) mouldy or b) evolving. If it is though…best to avoid. As for vacuum…it's an evil word. Very confusing. And ow. Sawdust. Ow.
Kurai Shinigami – Oh yeah, Harry's not happy. He's very, very annoyed. And he likes shocking people.
ISC – Your nails sound so very cool. I mean really. Really. Really. Cool. One thing about nailpolish that pisses me off is that I can't find a decent green. I have about 50 different bottles, two greens, and they both suck. Sigh. On the other hand, you've inspired me to go with bright alternating colours when the black's gone. I had purple, metallic blue and bright pink a few months ago. Colours are good. Glad you like the chapter.
goddessa39 – Heh. Well, I figure he used a spell to hunt them out. And then probably just summoned them rather than actually go get them.
SmellyCat190 – Yay! Another sherbet lemon fan. I too understand, but I see Harry's side as well – I'd be ready for some homicide if anyone stole some from me.
mlovektowsing – Hee hee, well, here you are! The plans. Well, kind of plans…
In the next chapter, we learn what SKIDAS stands for, who the members are, and the cheese call in reinforcements.
Please review!
S. Wolf