Death's Manager
Courtesy of SilverWolf7007
Chapter Eleven – House Elves, We Have a Problem
Or, The Truth About Gryffindor's Alliances
Once Draco, Blaise, Pansy and Parvati had joined the group in Minerva's office and explained that the House Elves were in fact correct, the question became what they should do next.
"I'm personally all for lunch," Ron suggested hopefully.
As neither Hermione nor Harry was present, Lavender stepped into their role and slapped Ron across the back of the head. "Moron. And where, exactly, were you planning to get this lunch from? The kitchen?"
Ron shuddered, recalling the vivid descriptions of the scene within the kitchen that Pansy and Parvati had given. "Er, I think I'll pass…"
"Good plan," Seamus said, rather sarcastically. "I'm feeling my intelligence rising just from being in the same room as you, Ron."
"Shut up, Finnigan."
"Make me, Weasley!"
"You sure?" Ron asked angrily, pointing his wand at the blond boy.
Blaise stepped in to prevent bloodshed (Ron's). "Weasley, back off. Finnigan, relax. Murdering him might make you feel better, but all the blood will only make the milk more disgusting."
Seamus sent a horrified look at the milk in question. "Good point," he conceded. "All right, the murder can wait…for now."
"I think I may have a better plan," Neville said quietly.
Immediately, all eyes were trained on him, waiting.
"Anyone else think it's suspicious that the Headmaster is, well, absent? Still going about his day as normal?"
"You think he's behind this?" Draco asked in surprise.
Neville raised an eyebrow. "Don't you?"
"Well yes," Draco admitted freely. "But you're not only a Gryffindor, Longbottom, but you're one of Harry Potter's best friends. Doesn't that automatically make Dumbledore a good guy in your eyes?"
The Gryffindors exchanged glances before collapsing on their desks laughing hysterically.
Minerva and Severus eyed first the students, then each other. "Do you have any idea what's so funny?" he asked her.
She shook her head. "Not a clue, Severus. But this may make things easier, if my Gryffindors don't, in fact, worship Dumbledore."
He nodded. "Yes, it will. Let's keep listening. I think Longbottom is beginning to breathe again."
As Severus had said, Neville was regaining his composure – though he was the only one. Dean, Seamus, Lavender, Ron and Parvati were still laughing and gasping for air.
Theodore, too, had noticed this. "All right then, Longbottom. Want to explain the hysterical laughing thing?"
"Sure," Neville agreed, still grinning. "Look, as you're all Slytherins – or teachers," he added with a nod to the two professors, "I suppose it makes sense that you don't know."
"Know what?" demanded a frustrated Draco.
"Know exactly what Harry's feelings towards Dumbles really are," Parvati told him, also having calmed.
The rest of the Gryffindors had followed suit, and all were now sitting on their desks smiling amusedly.
"And what are they?" Blaise asked. "Come on, you've got to give us more to go on than that."
"Well," Lavender began. "At least once a week, Dumbles does something that really pisses Harry off, and so we get a rant. Therefore we know exactly what he thinks of him. And it's not very complimentary."
Blaise's eyes widened. "He started it," he breathed in awe.
"Started what?" inquired Dean, a little confused.
"The Society for Kicking that Infernal Dumbledore's Arse Skywards."
"SKIDAS?" Dean asked sceptically. He was also trying to covertly send a hint to his friends – one in particular.
However, that certain one hadn't caught the hint and was nodding. "Yep," Seamus said cheerfully. "Harry founded SKIDAS all right! And we're all members."
Dean just buried his head in his hands with a defeated sigh.
Blaise eyed his fellow Slytherins, and seeing no disagreement he nodded. "So are we."
There was a throat clearing from the teacher's desk. Everyone looked up.
A somewhat embarrassed looking Minerva smiled at them sheepishly. "As am I."
Severus sighed mournfully. "All right, I'll admit it. I actually helped found the damn thing. I swear, I tried so very hard…but there was nothing I could do to change the name once Potter had made up his mind."
Draco also sighed, nodding. "Yes, I know. I tried as well."
"So did I," Parvati revealed. "But Harry was adamant to keep SKIDAS."
"Could have been worse, though," Ron offered. "I mean, at least it's not spew."
"It's S-P-E-W Ronald Weasley! And you would do well to remember it!"
"I see Hermione and Millicent are back," Blaise observed dryly to Draco and Theodore.
"Ow," Ron complained to the girl currently holding his left ear in a death grip. "'Mione, let go!"
Pansy turned aside from the drama to Millicent. "You've gotten the House Elves calmed down, then?"
The other girl nodded. "Yep. Plus, Dobby, Winky and Peppy have agreed to spy for us. Both on what's going on and other things, they said." She frowned. "I don't understand what else, though."
"Well, as Potter apparently founded SKIDAS and this lot, teachers included, are all members, I daresay they also are and were offering to keep an eye on the Headmaster for us."
With a pop and a splash, all three House Elves mentioned appeared in the room. A second pop saw them land somewhat more safely on an unoccupied desk.
Dobby looked around the room at the students and teachers assembled. "As Miss Pansy has guessed, we House Elves are being members of Harry Potter's SKIDAS. Dobby, Peppy and Winky are to be representing!"
"We is wanting to help in any way," Winky continued. "We is not wanting It to have a hold on Hogwarts."
"And we is not wanting Professor Dumbles to be Headmaster any longer," Peppy finished.
"You…you want us to overthrow Dumbledore?" Ron choked out.
"Of course they don't," said a voice from the door. "They just want you to know it's going to happen…and that we're all going to be a part of it."
All eyes were on Ginny, who was standing in the doorway with Luna, Bast standing behind them.
"We are?" Parvati asked. "How? Why?"
Luna smiled, somewhat dreamy yet still managing to be both devious and fierce. "As members of SKIDAS, we have all vowed to help Harry kick Dumbles out whenever he chooses to do so. And we are here to tell you, that time will be very, very soon."
"Finally!" Draco and Neville exclaimed.
Ginny, Luna and Bast had joined them all in Minerva's classroom, and soon explanations had begun on both sides.
Once it was done, discussions began on what to do about the cheese while waiting for Harry to show up and lead them to victory over Dumbles.
It was decided to send in reconnaissance to find out what was happening down there.
The House Elves, Hermione and Millicent immediately became the intelligence-gathering group, joined by Theodore.
Once they had left to begin, conversation took an interesting turn.
"So," Draco had begun casually. "When did you all begin to hate Dumbles?"
Everyone exchanged glances.
"He offered me a lemon drop back in first year," Pansy began. "I'm allergic to citrus, and I told him that. He said oh, such a shame, ate one and carried on…but he asked me again the next day!"
A small butterfly was winging its way out of the castle.
It was, one assumed, an average butterfly with nothing special about it.
This much was true.
Well, unless one counted the fact that it was being used as a messenger for Hogwarts' current infestation of cheese spawn.
In a place far, far away, several small black and white heads looked up at the blue butterfly that was heading their way.
Their leader held out a…limb…for it to land on.
He removed the small note attached and absentmindedly ate the butterfly as he unfurled it.
'We Have Succeeded In Securing The Kitchens. Your Way Is Now Clear. Be Here Soon.'
He looked around at his fellows. "Men, we have a go."
Winky and Peppy were hooked into listening devices, currently in the Room of Requirement with the majority of the House Elves, along with Millicent, Hermione and Theodore, who were also hooked up.
Dobby, on the other hand, had taken an invisibility potion given to him by Severus and had snuck back into the kitchens.
He was sneaking around, trying to hear the plans being discussed, but was having no luck.
His luck was about to change.
A strange whirring had begun, accompanying the appearance of a swirly blue and white two-dimensional oval.
He reported this to HQ.
Theodore frowned. "That sounds like a portal of some kind."
Hermione nodded. "It does. What do you think the cheese is bringing in?"
"Rancid butter?" Millicent suggested wryly.
Dobby's eyes widened as the leader moved through the portal into the kitchen, followed by his small retinue.
He faithfully reported what he saw.
After a short, furious, whispered discussion between the five of them, Winky, Peppy, Millicent and Theodore nominated Hermione to inform the other House Elves of what was going on.
She stood up and looked around gravely. "House Elves, we have a problem."
"It's a bit warm here, don't you think, General?"
The General in question looked down at his second in command. "Yes, it is. But we must be patient. Soon, this castle will be ours."
Dobby shuddered.
The door burst open and Theodore ran in, just as Parvati began explaining how Dumbledore had banned her from the Ravenclaw Common Room, and Padma from Gryffindor. "Just because we tend to cause a little trouble! It's a twin thing, they never separated the Weasley twins like this!"
"The cheese have called in reinforcements!" he gasped out, slumping against the nearest desk, ignoring the fact that the milk was absent from the room.
Bast, who had gotten tired of the milk and expelled it, looked up sharply. "Reinforcements? Who?"
Theodore shuddered. "The penguins have landed."
Ah yes, the penguins. Let it be said now that it's not my fault. It's all the fault of a friend of mine, our anti-penguin discussions of world domination, and that damned msn pic he did in Photoshop that put a penguin in a Jaffa's battle armour.
Sigh…
ISC – Aw, that is SO unfair. I'd kill for a good Slytherin green, but I've never seen anything even close. But at least I now know it exists! No, Remus isn't dead. Harry just decided that having all the Marauders was better than just two. Purple with lime green and blue with orange sounds wonderful. I'm going to have to do mine silver this weekend for my end of year formal, but after that… (shrugs) Any suggestions? Anyway, glad you liked!
Machiavelli Jr – Thank you, thank you. Plots are to be avoided at all costs. Gin will be having bigger parts than in this chapter later, so no worries on that account. Tom…he's addicted to Minties. Rabbits are scary, and I'm glad the vampires are growing on you. As for the nailpolish, that's over. And yep, I imagine reaping souls DOES lose its attraction after a while.
HPKid328 – Glad you like the chaos :-D.
Everyone else who reviewed I replied to using the nifty new reply feature. Just in case you didn't know that yet… I love you guys, you're all so nice to me…heh.
Anyway, please review!
S. Wolf