A/N: Aw thanks you guys for the reviews, this chapter is a little something of Raven's past and a look into the depth her friends would go to see that she was okay.
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"Say it for me
say it to me
and I'll leave this life behind me
say it if it's worth savin' me.
Hurry, I'm falling"
- Nickleback "Savin' Me"
Resume, wait where's the ball?
"Raven?"
Her voice, Starfire called to me and for a moment I was blinded by a vicious white light when I opened my eyes. I growled and swiped at it angrily, if there was one thing I hated the most was light. It was bright, revealing, and hot, I couldn't stand it, I hated it but the others didn't know that as I felt hands hold my arms down, "Raven! Raven! Snap out of it! It's us the Titans!"
Aqaulad, I knew he was strong, but I felt him struggling to keep me down from bolting up and destroying everything in sight. Everything was so unfamiliar, pure, light, blinding. I didn't trust it and his binding was driving me crazy! I needed to be released I needed freedom, I needed everything he was restricting me from and I was enraged by it. An inhuman roar ripped through my throat as I threw my head back and fought with everything I had to get him off me as he straddled my waist using his weight to hold me down.
It just made me all the more determined to be free, he was hurting me when I felt he didn't want to. Drastic measures were going through his head, I could see flashes of his past going through my eyes as I closed them, I didn't want to see them, feel them but I couldn't open my eyes. The light was unbearable! He was hurting me!
"Raven! Please calm down! It's me, Aqualad, remember? Your friend!" he pleaded, I could feel his regret, his pain of knowing he was hurting me. As strong as he was I knew Aqualad was a big softy and never wished to actually inflict pain on anyone, but he would without hesitation if the situation called for it. Though that thought never registered in my head, I just wanted to be let go!
"RELEASE ME!" I screamed and something cracked deep inside me, something broke, something dormant, something I never used before. My demonic power as I used an attack I was taught to control the blast to just disarm and frightened my enemies. It was called an Aura Spike, where I gathered my energy level and actually use it as an attack. Well, Aqualad and the others were about to receive a controlled amount to throw them away from me.
The irony of them all getting winded by nothing but air, yet it was the invisibility of my aura that they felt, all of them were knocked off their feet and most likely thrown a good three feet away. Aqualad being the closest I knew he would have flown a bit further, think of it as a bomb setting off and it took very little energy to do.
Yet I don't know what went wrong cause before I knew it I was engulfed in the beautiful, relaxing, soothing, and cradling darkness. Unconscious for another minute or so while Jinx blinked and shivered, gulping at the intensity of my power.
Since she was a sorceress the same as me I knew she was frightened at my energy level, though if she was scared of that I can't wait to see her face when I release my full aura. Not that I ever will unless provoked, my teachings were to always show enough, never over the top. Especially me, they beat that lesson into me and I listened, I learned, I became the best of my people. The only priestess to ever be taught in the same class as the royals themselves.
I took pride in that and showed my world that I could even become more skilled then the princess and prince combined. It wasn't until I topped my full demonic teacher did they consider me too dangerous and kicked me out my world. That hurt me; especially when they stripped me from my title and crowned the princess the Grand Priestess above my mother in charge of the protection of what was suppose to be my people to protect. Well when I found that out I said fuck it.
Fuck them.
Fuck the lessons.
Fuck Azarath … they could all burn in hell for all I cared and for that I forced myself to forget everything I was ever taught, but since X walked into my life and help filled that burning need in my blood. I will never find out what I'm actually yearning for, but for the moment when I released an Aura Spike I felt at once at peace with myself. My demon blood felt settled, comfortable and relaxed … did that mean something important?
What time is it?
The moment I asked was when I groaned and my blood stirred as my ever-burning desire rose to heat my skin, I needed it. I needed what ever it was that relaxed me earlier to come back; I needed it so bad that I rolled over on my side and slowly got up on my knees. My hair curtained around my face in messy tangles as I huffed and puffed, shakily trying to control myself. My need, it was raising fast and I couldn't release it when I didn't even know what my body ached for.
"Raven?"
Beast Boy, I thought weakly and I saw him at the corner of my eyes approaching me, I shot out a hand to show for him to keep away, "Stay back!" I gasped and shook, "Stay back … I don't – uh – know what's – ooo – wrong with me."
Bring an arm around my side I doubled over until my forehead was to the ground, my other hand fisted next to my head to help hold me up as I groaned again, my stomach lurched and clenched. The taste of bile was at the back of my mouth at the ever growing need found a way to settle.
Quickly getting to my hands and knees I heard Speedy rush to my side with him being the closest and held back my hair, I inwardly thanked him as I hurled what little of my breakfast I had eaten and whatever else onto the floor. My body shook violently as my energy was exerted; his other arm wrapped around my waist and helped me stay steady as I swayed. Shakily I brought a hand to his shoulder and when I knew I was done I collapsed onto him.
"You alright?" he asked worriedly as he sat back and held me up. I could feel his concern running chills up and down my spine. At this I smiled and nodded as I gulped and tried not to hurl from the awful taste in my mouth.
"I can feel," I rested a tired head on his chest closing my eyes and listened to the rhythmic beats of his heart. Lulling me to sleep I forced myself to stay awake, my ragged voice whispered, "I can feel your emotions … I think … I think my power's back …"
I felt his emotion shift to that of relief, and slight happiness while he sighed and rested a hand on the small of my back, and rubbed small relaxing circles, "That's good Raven … can you stand?"
I didn't answer for a moment too tired and his beating heart wasn't helping matters any, "I … I'm tired …"
I felt amusement in his aura and relaxed when he ordered me to, "Then go to sleep, you need it."
Sleep … that sounded good … so good that I actually listened and snuggled closer to his warmth, though I couldn't help to remember how X held me and soothed me the same. X … Christian … I frowned and wished he was the one that was actually holding me instead of Speedy, sure I was more then grateful for Speedy's concern, but I just wanted Christian with me. Was that wrong of me to ask?
I didn't want to care any more as I fell into a deep sleep.
((--Dream/Memory--))
"Remember, you can be the most strongest of beings in the universe, but that does not mean there aren't ways of defeating you," he instructed and I took it to heart. He was my mentor, my master, and my personal instructor now that I was a higher level then the royals, the man that was old, but still skilled with all arts of Metrion and Zinthous. The two dimensions, next to Azarath, that were the most powerful and formidable and I was one of the few Priestesses that drew my power from their cosmos.
Though I was the only one of my kind's generation to have Azarath, Metrion and Zinthous as my main power core it was just another reason for my people to fear me. Besides me the only other Azarian Priestess to harness that kind of cosmic power was the founding Priestess in the legends and history book Saza'rah. She was legend for her kindness and power, she was unmatched and I had the same power as her.
Dressed in my traditional wardrobe of old that was something like a dark blood-red tube top around my chest to cover only the essentials with a bow in the back and the extra cloth loose and flowing. My pants the same color were loose and baggy tightened at the ankles where silver chain anklets jingled and showed I was still a demon no matter if I was a protector. Around my waist was a black sash tied with a knot on my left side where the extra of the sash was dark violet purple showing my statues as the top Priestess.
"You must see this Raven," he stared hard at me making sure I was really paying attention, "so far you are on the road to greatness distractions are not what you want with the life you lead."
I nodded, "I understand."
He sighed and shook his head, "No you don't … you only think you do, you don't even know what your life is."
I narrowed my eyes in confusion, "What?"
"What is your life Raven?" he asked seriously and I raised a brow wondering what the purpose of all these questions were for.
"To protect the throne and Azarath at all cost."
Again he sighed and shook his head, "No, that is what you were born into … you are a Priestess by blood and spiritual energy … my question wasn't on your duty. My question was what is your life? Your reason for living, what is it?"
Then I thought about my father and gulped … was that what he wanted to hear?
"For the –" he held up a hand to stop me as a cold frown formed on his olden yet wise features.
"Until you can figure out what you are living for you will never know peace. No matter if you find a way to quench your ever-lasting thirst, it will not last. A good thing can only last for so long."
I didn't understand, and I wasn't about to try. It was just another riddle in my life that I didn't have to deal with. I was here to enhance my skills and become the best – no better than the best – was going to become the greatest Priest to ever live. I'll show my kind that just because I'm a half demon doesn't mean anything.
I don't want to hurt anybody, I want to protect it's my job forever and I regretted nothing about it. I wanted nothing to do with death on my hands; I wanted nothing to do with hell.
I never asked for what I am!
Just because of my sire – my father – I couldn't grow to become the sorceress that courses through my veins and my duty as a Priestess because of him many feared me rather then respected me! I wanted nothing to do with my father! I hated him, though I had to thank him at the same time.
If I was never born than I'd never have to set standards impossible for the other students to surpass, and to just piss off the royals was a plus. I knew sooner or later my time on my home was going to end, but damn it! I was not leaving until I left my impression and that impression was to beat down every instructor and become better then he or she.
If he asked me what I lived for again I'd say to see him perish …
He looked down to me and I have no idea how I looked because when he saw me he gaped and took a step back. If I had my father's look then good at least he'd remember who I was, yet I knew I couldn't have been my father because I wasn't surging out of control. So whatever I looked like good, if I can't win respect I'll win fear, it seems to be the only thing these assholes know.
"Well then, I guess we'll have to make this lesson for today count since every good thing has to end sometime … and I live to surpass you …"
Everything that transpired that day was simple, we fought, just like every other day when we were training. That was all he taught me to do, to fight, to become the best, but for me it wasn't enough. Even when I beat him eventually in all our training matches, it wasn't enough … I wanted more, and had a feeling I'll never know just what I craved for in a very long time.
Frustration is a funny feeling …
((--End Dream/Memory--))
Slowly I opened my eyes and sighed relaxingly when I saw I was in the darkness of my room, I could feel the comfort feeling of my sanctuary. It was soothing and the darkness of it all was comforting, turning over in my bed I looked out the window and saw the beauty of the city's lights as it sparked and lit up in the night.
Night?
Night …
Giving it a weird look I turned over in my bed again to see the alarm clock and I gasped, "10:34?"
I screamed and shot up from my bed literally hitting the ceiling as I levitated off the bed. That shocked me and before I could regain my concentration I dropped back to the bed and I screamed again as bounced straight off and on to the floor! Ouch! That hurt! Dumb floor I punched it and yelped when my fist ached from the pain. Shit! Oh yeah that's right, floors hurt! Owie!
I got off the floor and glanced at the clock again then squealed and tried to get into my outfit for the night, but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a note in my mirror. Completely frozen in the position of unzipping my leotard I straightened up and walked up to the note noticing a silver titanium belt laid out on my dresser. I picked it up and examined it, it reminded me of X's belt, but instead of an X in the middle it was an S like Slade's.
This … was … odd … the note probably had answers. Putting the belt down I reached for the note and nearly dropped dead when I read it!
Raven,
Hey sleeping beauty, by the time you read this note I'm most likely with X to help you guys stay on track. Just to let you know if you didn't figure it out by now we got our powers back. That spell whatever it did worked, but only bits and pieces …nice choice though! Don't worry, I'm going to dress exactly like you and conceal myself the same way tonight incase anything should happen.
Any way see you when I get back and BTW when you do get up head to the main room your friends are worried about you. Give'em a little show, when you're done with that I'll most likely I'd be back. Oh yeah and hope you like my get-well-gift, told ya I'd get it done right if you'd let me to Gizmo's shop. It wasn't hard.
Hope you like the 'S' touch, that was X idea not mine so you got an issue with it blame him.
Jinx
Jinx was with X! That was the first thought running through my head as I glared at the paper at that one line " … most likely with X …" oh god when she comes back I'll kill her! Who the hell does she think she is to just go on and meet with X, imitate MY alias and just … just … she's with X! I have no idea why the hell that one part just irritated the hell out of me, but it just did and I didn't like the fact that she never mentioned if X had mentioned me, or how she got out. I swear if I find out how she got free I'm baring it up and making sure she don't ever see X.
I shudder, ugh! She's with X! I bet she can't pull off the Sis act like I can! Humph, hussy! How dare she, with X is she? Well I'll show her when she comes back. For now I hated to admit it, but she was right, I had to make a show for the Titans and apologize for my actions. Though it wasn't my fault, I guess it was just a shock for my body to suddenly have that much energy packed at once.
The spell was an elaborate one.
I sighed and put the belt into my drawer to hide it then crumbled the note and tossed it in the trash bin then headed to my closet to get a new change of clothes. Slipping into a new uniform and clipping on my cape I slid into my boots and grabbed my jewel belt then walked out the room a Titan. Pulling my hair to my left shoulder top make it look at least a bit more tidy I made my way to the main room in silence as I recalled my dream … or memory.
Yeah … my final teacher …
I never admitted it back then, and I never said it, but I was thankful for him after our first meeting. He was the real father I never had, he taught me all I needed to know … but most of all he defended me when my mother didn't. At the time of my trial when I had defeated him in battle even if I had injured him greatly he defended me but the Supreme Judges and the Royal Family overruled his defense. Saying that he was under the influence of demonic witchcraft.
That, just pissed me off, but I held my ground and controlled my raging emotions. Even if I was then just a mere 13 year old I knew consequences and smart enough to know my fate before they carried it out. They asked my mother for a final plead on my case … this is what she said:
"My daughter, though I love her with all my heart, the power she possesses is great and chilling … I even go as far as to proclaim my daughter has the power of former Grand Priestess Saza'rah herself. However with the tainted blood that course through her veins, and the influence of Trigon Scathe, I have come to the conclusion that her life should not be put under my decision. So for the sake of others … and the sacrifice of a family … do as you will."
Yep …
I still remember it, word for word.
After all these years her words still echoed in my head, I wanted to hate her for it, but she was my only family that even cared about me. I couldn't hate her … but I couldn't love her either … not anymore at least. How could you love someone that just sold you out? Right in your face, practically denied I was ever her child and she even had the audacity to cry.
I shook my head, no need to look back upon it now as I came to the door that went into the main room.
Show time.
Calling forth the cosmic powers of Azarath, Metrion, and Zinthous I concentrated on flying and levitated two feet off the ground. Entering the crowded room in that levitation I smirked when everything stopped as I chanted my mantra and waved my right hand. I brought the videos and DVDs swirling around the room and all the Titans then back neatly in their places. Landing on the ground I bowed and winked at Robin knowing he was the only one so far that knew I was free to feel.
"Friend Raven!" Starfire jumped up and flew straight for me crushing my in a bone wrenching hug I gagged I needed to breath! "Oh my dear friend you are well and full of power! I am so glad for you!"
"Yeah," I gritted my teeth, "let's keep it that way Star!"
She giggled and released me then turned to the other Titans with her arm around by shoulders, "Glorious night it is friends! Friend Raven is damaged no more and fixed!"
Beast Boy cheered, "Woo-hoo! That's great now we can get X and Sis for sure!"
Well, he most certainly thought highly of me, I nodded, "Uh … thanks."
"You sure you're okay?" Robin asked, ah, Robin, always the suspicious skeptically one I always had to feed his insecure nature. It gets on your nerves, just like it got on my nerves all the time.
So I sighed and nodded, "Yeah, I'm sure, by the way …" I walked up to Aqualad and smiled apologetically, "Sorry for the whole going crazy thing, my body just went into shock is all."
He smiled and shook his head, "It's okay Raven I knew you didn't mean it."
"Okay," I gave him one last grateful look then I went to Speedy who was grinning like a goon, "and thank you for your support."
He chuckled and waved his hand dismissively, "Ah it's no big deal, you were in need."
"Thanks any way," I smiled, now in the middle of the room with every one I looked over all there faces. They were all happy and glad that I was all right; real friends … and I wanted to give them up? I couldn't, standing here now I sighed and turned to walk towards the large windows waiting for Jinx to come back … but as fate would have it I looks like I'll be going to her.
The alarm went off and my heart sank as my blood chilled, Please don't let it be …
Robin ran to the computer and canceled the game ignoring the cries of protest from Beast Boy as he scowled and barked his orders; "Robbery at sector 14, Mas and Menos stay to watch Jinx, Raven stay with them just to be sure you're okay it's just Mumbo."
Robin would never know how much I just wanted to kiss him for saying that, looks like there is a God after all. Good to cause if it was Jinx then there would for sure be a murder scene somewhere in the middle of Jump.