kurama-sweethart: If there is a way to turn Snape into a cockroach then I'm sure Ed will find it ;;

authoraisarete: thank you

watshername14: I almost forgot who you were, and I was the first person you told XDD -dies-

Eiko Makimachi: gracias, (feeling a little bit Spanish today)

FullMetal Aquabat: -offers fan- want to take a whack at him?(announcer: noooo!)) and thank you!

Al's-best-friend: HEY, the writer says hitting is bad! (-puts on helmet anyway- just take the chapter and leave! ;))

plutobaby494 : you know what, I don't know!

DDA: thank you

Cathelina: gracias

-sighs happily- its days like this that make me happy! I can't believe how many reviews I got, thank you all! -GLOMPSEVERYONE- and merry holidays, for today is Christmas, (for me at least)

OKAY, NOW ONTO CHAPTER FIVE!

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"Mr. Eric, I mean.. Mr. ELRIC, I asked you a question."(sorry, I just caught that error in the last chapter XDD)) Snape rapped his wand in front of Edward, snapping him out of Roy Mustang land and back into the evil-potions-Snape-filled-land-of-reality.

"Sir!" Ed immediately jumped to attention, "What was it that you asked, I wasn't paying attention."

An ugly purple vein appeared on Snape's greasy forehead; sarcasm laced his voice and the rest of the class flinched, it was a sure sign sent from the Author that this was going to be a new question, something so impossibly hard that no first year would ever be able to guess it just to make Ed look bad, "I asked what was the first stage of a basic alchemic transmutation?" his lip curled and he smirked, "any competent wizard should be familiar with alchemy, magic's opposite."

Before the class could even begin to gasp in horror at how mind boggling this question was Ed replied, with a well hidden yawn, "Analysis, then deconstruction then reconstruction."

Snape's jaw was working up and down with fury, but before I let him go up against Edward Elric, our very own Full Metal Alchemist, I will equip him with a battle axe..

AND NOW IT'S FULL METAL SMASHDOWN! NO LONGER THE SWEET INNOCENT FANFICTION YOU ONCE KNEW!

The crowds screamed their delight as two new gladiators stepped into the circle, one carrying a huge battle axe. Ed eyed the axe with mild indifference, Snape snorted and charged the alchemist with a fearsome roar.

"ROAR!" said Snape.

"Yawn." Said Ed and transmuted the axe into a rubber inflatable toy. Snape had but a minute to gawk in shock before he was transmuted into a cockroach by Ed.

The crowds screamed and raved as Edward raised his fist and walked off the stage in triumph to be carried on the shoulders of the crowd to Roy Mustang Land, now with flame retardant jackets!

NOT REALLY….

Ed laughed to himself as he walked down the corridor with the other first year students. According to them he was the first student to ever get Snape's alchemy question right, Hermione didn't join in with the festivities, if you could call them that.

"Edward," she said slowly," Your last name is Elric, isn't it?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"No reason, I need to go to the library, though, see you all later." She bustled off.

"Why does she need to go to the library?" Harry wondered aloud.

"Who cares? Our next class is Care of Magical Creatures, so we better get going." Ron shook his head.

-scene change- -scene change- -scene change- -scene change-

Winter break was upon them before they knew it, and Edward had his hands full with Harry. The first week into the school year the kid had gotten himself into a fight with that snotty-looking Malfoy kid. Edward had spent most of the night running after them (Harry Ron Hermione and Neville) trying to keep them out of trouble while keeping out of sight, of course he had screwed up and let his guard down once to catch his breath and they were almost eaten by a three headed dog. Luckily, though, they had enough sense to get out of the room before they were mauled.

It didn't help that Hermione was getting suspicious and nosing around his past. He had thought it would be easier to let everyone know him by his true name instead of an alias, but then again his name was a famous one. The alchemist of the people and hero wasn't a small name. Neither was Edward Elric, the Full Metal Alchemist, the only one to pass the state alchemy exam at the age of twelve.

So it was no surprise that when winter break rolled around Ed wasn't looking forward to it, and it was with a heavy heart that he trudged down the hallway to the great hall for breakfast, thinking dark thoughts; when a suit of armor came to life and pulled him into a death glomp, squealing, "Brother! There you are!"

"Al?" Ed screamed and struggled to get a better look at him, "What the hell are you doing here? Put me down!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

Okay, lovsies to all y'alls who reviewed and to all you's peoples who are about to review!

Announcer: OHOHOHO! So the plot thickens! Or is there a plot? Who knows!... hey.. put that fan down….NOOO STAY AWAAAAYYY! -Miscellaneous screams and the thwack of a fan is heard-