"Ughhhh. Not YOU. Not so early in the mornin'..." I whimper, throwing a pillow over my head. "C'mon, brain, bring back the my harem of chocolate-covered beauties..."
"Get up, Daxter!" log-noggin barks, "and you too, Jak!"
"Ah, shut your trap, old man," I snap, standing to my full Ottsel height, fur bristling with indignation. "You have NO idea what we've been through, so at least let Jak get some sleep!!"
Torn and Sig stare, obviously surprised to see I'm still fuzzy. "It's a loooong story," I drawl, shooting them my best 'don't-even-ask' look and adding in an eye-roll for extra emphasis. That dream didn't help my mood in regards to my Ottselness, either... ugh.
Torn half-chuckles again - y'know, that's gotta be a RECORD, twice in less than twelve hours! "I see that your little vacation was a complete waste of time."
"No, it wasn't." All four of us turn to Jak, who's sitting up in bed with a rather disgruntled expression. "Look, why don't you get everyone else together, and we'll explain what happened. Let's meet at the Naughty Ottsel in an hour." He blinks sleepily and looks to Torn. "Why didn't we just do this last night?"
"That's my doing, Jak," Samos sighs. "I had to... locate a few people so they could attend the meeting."
Jak raises an eyebrow - 'Oooohkay' in Mute!Jakspeak. "We owe you one, Sig," he then grins, "your advice saved our butts more than once. Now, would you guys KINDLY leave so I can get dressed?"
They avert their eyes, mumble apologies (obviously not realizing that Jak DOESN'T sleep in the buff) and exit in twenty seconds flat. Jak and I throw each other a confused glance - who the heck did Samos have to find? - and get ready.
Dammit, that's another reason I didn't wanna come back... the stares, the questions, the knowing smirks! Ooohkay... Deep breath, Dax. Calm down... Go to your happy place...
TO HELL WITH THAT!! I just LEFT my happy place and arrived back HERE! Oooh, what great memories THIS place has... the stinking sewers... the friendly locals... I glare at Jak as he turns away to find his gloves. DAMMIT! Why does he always hafta be so darn NOBLE?! Everyone save for Tess and Sig thinks I've brainwashed him into helping me! After all, who would ever want to help conniving, cowardly, loudmouth Daxter?! Why the hell would Jak ever stoop so low?!
BECAUSE HE'S GUILTY, YOU IDIOTS!
The one and ONLY reason Blondie's helping me is because HE'S THE ONE WHO TOSSED ME INTO THAT DARK ECO IN THE FIRST PLACE!! I bet high-and-mighty Jak the Hero just can't stand having that failure sit on his resume! One quick trip into the Wastelands - after all, and endless desert of doom is NOTHING for our saviour - and bam, problem solved! Heroic Jak returns to his city, with the simpering, helpless-but-human Daxter trailing behind... Ooooh, look at how very noble he is, Daxter's never done a thing to help him but manly Jak risks life and limb just to-
"Dax?"
"WHAT?!" I snap, voice dripping with venom and hate, spinning around to face... Jak.
Just Jak, with concern in his eyes, a bit hurt at my outburst. My Jak, not some arrogant, archetypical, legendary hero.
It's been a long time since I lost control of myself like that... guess this city just brings out the best in me.
"You okay, buddy?" Jak asks quietly. He's spent an entire year with me, after all; he knows how I get sometimes. And that's why he wants to help... Not because it'll make him look good, not 'cause he wants to correct the one mistake he's made in his life, but because I'm his best friend and he can't stand seeing me like this.
Like... this. He understands, somewhat - after all, he had that whole Dark Jak thing goin' on. Yeah, had. Ever since the Kid unlocked the Precursor Stone, he's been... err, shall we say balanced? Jak may turn into a killin' machine, but that doesn't mean he goes insane. Not like he used to.
"Uhh..." I take a deep breath. "Yeah. Sure. Shall we get goin'?"
---
Half an hour later and entirely without incident we arrive at the Naughty Ottsel. Lemme tell ya, it's the ONLY part of this stinkin' city I can stand, and that's 'cause it's MINE. Allll mine. Heh heh heh heh. Krew was at least useful for SOMETHING in the end!
"Think Tess'll be disappointed?" I sigh from my shoulder-perch, straightening my googles. "After all, I promised 'er I'd have a studly new body by the time I got back..." I glance up at the giant-sized Ottsel-me. "Y'know, not that I'm not studly enough NOW, but the whole cross-species thing doesn't really do it for me..."
"Why don't you ask her yourself?" he grins, jabbing a finger over his shoulder. We both turn to see her jogging up. Ahhhh, how I love it when she runs...
"Jak! Oh, and DAXTER!" she squeals, clapping her hands together in such obvious joy that I'm struck dumb. I'm just not used to this kinda greeting! With most people, it's 'Oh, so you're not dead yet, Daxter' or 'What's with the scrawny rat on your shoulder?' or 'Jak, you STILL hang around with that guy?!'
Y'know... I COULD get used to this.
"Hey, sweetcakes!" I wink, jumping from Jak's shoulder to hers. "Been keepin' busy while I was away?"
Instead of answering, she turns to Jak and flutters her eyelashes. (Man, most of that girl's body could be used either as hypnotizing tools or lethal weapons!) "Could you go and open up the Naughty Ottsel, Jak? Dax and I need to... catch up on some things."
"Uhhh... sure," he stutters, an easy target for Tess' charms.
"So, Dax," she chirps as Jak walks out of earshot, holding me gently out at arm's length, "did you tell him?!"
"Eh?" I cock my head. "What'cha talkin' about, sugar?"
"Awwww, c'mon," Tess coos, cradling me up to her delightfully soft bosom- which starts me to thinking, y'know, maybe being an Ottsel ain't so bad after all, and- "You know what I mean, Dax!" -it's so warm sittin' here, and she's even scratching my ears, and it's just- "You must've told him how you feel, you've been-"
I blink, coming slightly out of my perverted stupor. "Ehhh?"
"You've been gone a YEAR," she smiles, "so you MUST'VE told Jak you love him, right?"
I can actually hear my fragile little mind snapping. "WHA?! HOW?! YOU?! HUH?!" Twitching, a seizure, I think I'm having a SEIZURE and Tess drops me out of surprise, I land and bounce and go limp not unlike a stuffed toy - "buh-buh-buh" - then again I practically AM one and oh I'm still thinking so I guess I'm not dead or totally insane and why am I going insane again?
"Dax??" Tess looks down at me from quite a favourable angle, but I'm in no mood to enjoy it because it all comes rushing back- BY THE GREAT YAKKOW IN THE SKY, SHE KNOWS!!
"I- I- I-... you..." I concentrate on stopping the twitching, maybe when that stops I can actually try to stand up... "How?? How'd you know?! Who else kno- I mean, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!"
"Oh, Daxter, you haven't told him, have you?" she says softly, scooping me up off the concrete and rubbing my head absently. "Are you gonna wait until you're returned to your body?"
My eye won't stop twitching! JEEZ! "What makes you think I... I... I LIKE Jak like that?!"
"Dax," she says sternly, "I know I'm not the brightest bulb around, but there are some things I'm never wrong about. Call it women's intuition." She starts cuddling me again, and slowly but surely I start to calm down. "I think I'm the only one who realizes it, though."
"You're the only one who pays any attention to me, that's why," I grumble, not even bothering to deny it anymore.
She giggles. "Jak pays attention to you."
"Not enough, apparently."
"Awww, I can't WAIT 'til you get changed back, you'll make the CUTEST couple!" she squeals happily, hugging me with such a death-grip that all the air is forced from my lungs.
"That AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!" I snap, suddenly furious again. "He's happy JUST the way he is, with Keira as his precious trophy-gal, and I ain't gonna do a THING to change that!!"
Tess looks down at me, sympathy written all over her face. "Oh, Dax," she breathes, giving me a gentle squeeze, "I'm sorry."
"Y'better be," I mumble, curling up in her arms. Warm... soft... To hell with the meetin', I think I'll stay riiiiiight here.
---
"So that's the 'Precursor Palace'?" I squinted in the desert sun, trying to spy any details of the huge building shimmering about a mile to the west. "What with the heat, it looks like it's floatin'..." Leaning on Jak's head, I turned back to our guide. "Pretty uncreative name, though! I mean, why couldn't you call it the 'Forbidden Precursor Temple of Certain Death? That would REALLY get the message across!"
Jak chuckled silently whilst the guide shot me a nasty glare. "I took you guys this far and I'm not going a STEP closer. That place is a death trap, and you two are absolutely insane for wanting to go there."
"Buddy, EVERYONE thinks we're insane," I exclaimed, gesturing wildly, "and yet, somehow, we're still alive! Funny how that works, eh?"
"Listen, I've done my job. Would you pay me so I can go, already?" The guide was shifting his weight, obviously ill-at-ease. It was pure LUCK that we'd found him in the first place. We'd wandered the desert for weeks, 'cause the last villagers we met had claimed there was another settlement out there, wayyyy out to west. The main reason we followed their guesses, though, was 'cause of the stories they told around the campfire... Tales of a strange, liquidy, white-hot beam of light that pierced the sky not half a year ago...
At first we thought the twitchy villagers were just tryin' to get rid of us, but we'd left Haven around six months prior. Now, unless those villagers suffered from some bizarre chronic disorder that caused every one of 'em to get dates wrong, that light showed up around the time of Kor's defeat. Around the time the last Precursor was freed.
Innnnteresting.
So we set off towards the setting sun, in search of the savior of my sanity. (A POET, I TELLS YA!) Oi. BAD IDEA. 'West' really ain't very specific, and it took us nearly TWO MONTHS before we stumbled across a rag-tag camp of maybe forty people. Okay, scratch that - they were Wastelander to the core, and got the drop on us. They were desperate for help, though. In return for a week of Jak's Metal Head butt-kickin' services (AND three Precursor orbs) they agreed to lead us to the light's source. Thankfully, they were true to their word. One unlucky guy was chosen to be our guide, and we set off in search of quote unquote ADVENTURE!
"That place is where the Metal Heads have been congregating," our guide said sourly. "The Wasteland's nearly empty, 'cause they're all flocking HERE." He turned to Jak and I. "Now, my payment?"
Jak handed him the three orbs. "We should be able to reach there by nightfall, right?"
"Not with those Metal Heads swarmin' around. You're stocked up on ammo?"
"Of course."
"What a waste. You're just gonna die anyway." The guy sighed. "Well, it was nice knowin' ya. Thanks for your help, and may the Precursors have mercy on you."
"Well, isn't HE the optimistic one," I sneered as he started the trip back to the relative safety of the camp. "Psshaww. He don't know our track record! We're unbeatable!"
The words weren't even out of my mouth when the skies clouded over. Jak and I glanced once at each other before all hell broke loose. The masses blanketing the sun weren't clouds, but rather swarms of Metal Heads, and as they began to drop down on us countless more pored out from cracks in the ground. Jak tore the hoverboard from his back and tried to flee, but everywhere we turned there were more, too many, way too many... One monster grabbed the hoverboard by its teeth, snapped it like a piece of driftwood, and that sent us both flying...
"DAX!" I turned my head, vision skewed, to see Jak kneeling on the ground, cradling one bloody arm. "THE GUN!"
I turned the other way, saw the gun, managed to grab it just before an immense Metal Head foot crashed to the ground. Barely able to hold the thing with shaking hands, I started shooting in every possible direction... Jak ducked in beside me, and the Dark Eco from the dead creatures soaked into his skin.
"DAXTER!"
His voice was so panicked that I stole a glance, continuing to shoot into the horde... Not that it mattered anyway, there were so many I couldn't possibly miss. The Eco was streaking towards him, limitless, and the look of utter horror on his face turned my stomach to lead.
"It's... I can't.. I can't control... DAX!" With that he screamed, and the noise sent the Metal Heads a step back, if only for a second. "Run," he choked, though it was more of an growl than any actual word, and then the life and sanity in his eyes began to dim. Jak arched his back in pain as claws erupted from his fingertips, and screamed again when the horns burst from his skull.
I stared up at him as though hypnotized, dropping the gun, and the Metal Heads began to cautiously close in on us. Dark Jak took one ragged breath and leapt into the air. He slammed his palm into the ground as he dove back down, cracking the earth and sending out wave after wave of dark energy...
It took out the Metal Heads like so many paper dolls, and the initial wave rushed past me not unlike a chill wind. Just as I began to wonder why, why it hadn't affected me at all the second wave hit, and it felt like my head had cracked open. I stumbled back, dazed, unable to think or breathe as the Dark Eco finished its job and split my mind in two.
The third wave knocked us over but did little else. We laid there on our back, one half of our mind idly pointing out the Eco streaming over our head while the other was shrieking curses, until both sides realized that the world had gone silent.
That silence was broken by halting, unsure footsteps, making their way towards us.
"Jak," one half said.
"Bastard," the other spat.
We didn't realize he was still dangerous until he leaned over us, eyes bottomless and devoid of anything resembling sanity. While one half of our mind whimpered, the other reached for the gun.
One half sighed in relief as the madness began to drain from his eyes.
The other aimed the gun right between them.
"Daxter...?"
One half smiled at Jak.
The other pulled the trigger.
---
"GYAHHHH!!" I leap from Tess' arms straight onto the bar, heart beating like a drum against my small and furry chest. "That... THAT..."
"Glad to see you've joined us," Samos growls.
I look around, heart rate slowly dropping as I realize just where I am. Dim lighting, brightened only by neon signs... Smoky interior... Big huge nasty Kor head... The Naughty Ottsel... the meeting. Of course. Tess must've carried me here. Everyone - log-noggin, Torn, Sig, Ashelin, Tess, Keira, Jak - is staring at me with a combination of amusement and concern.
"Nightmare, Dax?" Jak asks, the most concerned of the bunch.
"Ooooh, yeah." I shiver, mind racing to think of some excuse... "Get this - Krew in a speedo." Ew. That'll work.
Everyone's concern is quickly replaced with disgust. Whether it's directed at my behavior or at the very thought of Krew in swimwear, I dunno, but hey, it gets the attention AWAY from me and back to the meetin', and that's what counts!
Note to self: do not fall asleep again, no matter how boring this darn meeting gets.