Absolution - chapter 5.

"I tell you Bill, that girl needs to be taught obedience. Ignoring her superior officer indeed!"

"It's not like she's ever listened to you before."

The two men were sitting in Adama's office going over staff reports. Tigh was still fuming over Starbuck's behaviour.

"Why aren't you harder on her? Maybe she'd toe the line if you'd give her some strict discipline to follow."

Adama knew that many people didn't agree with his kid-glove treatment of Starbuck. But Tigh was the only one who could voice that opinion and get away with it.

"You have to understand her. The harder you push, the more she pushes back. She needs freedom - within reason of course. Obviously I can't allow her to run the ship ..."

"But she very nearly does anyway. She's a fine example for the rest of the crew of how to thumb your nose at your superiors and get away with it. She carries a lot of clout here, the gods only know why, but people respect her and listen to her."

"She's a natural born leader, Saul. And leaders don't take orders well. I should know." He smiled. "Her behaviour used to cause me a lot of grief but I've since accepted who she is and how she's going to behave.

We have an unspoken agreement of exactly where the boundaries are, and most of the time she operates within them. When she doesn't ... well. she ends up in the brig."

"Doesn't it ever bother you that she doesn't listen to you?"

"She does, but she listens to her heart first."

"Is that how you justify her desertion?"

Adama sighed. "I don't have any answers for you. I'm still having trouble with that one too. What I do know is that she brings something special to this crew - something it desperately needs right now. Hope. And courage. And the belief that you can do anything if you try. To me, those qualities are worth far more than any trouble she may cause."

Tigh nodded silently. He'd never seen it from quite that perspective before.

ZZZZZZZZ

The guard unlocked Lee's cell and led him in .

As soon as Lee had seen Kara, he'd felt a surge of guilt run deeply through him. She looked awful. Awful. Worse than she'd ever looked before, and that was saying something. He'd seen her at her worst before ... but it had never been like this. She still sat on the bed, arms protectively crossed around her legs, staring at the wall. She hadn't budged, even for the loud clang of the door.

"Honestly Apollo, I think she's gone right 'round the bend. I mean, she hasn't moved all day. No word of a lie - I been here the whole time. Maybe this is it - the last straw that drove her crazy."

Lee grabbed the lapels of the guard's uniform and pulled him close. "Listen to me," he said in a low, dangerous voice, "you are in no position to judge anyone's sanity 'sir'," heavily emphasized there, "and didn't anyone ever teach you it's rude to talk about someone in the third person to their face?" The guard had a totally confused expression on his face. "Starbuck," he said, "is right here with us, not five feet away, and just because she appears to be off in another world is no reason to assume she isn't hearing every word we say. So be respectful!" Lee nearly shouted this last bit. "Or you'll be the next person in this cell when I vacate it!"

"Yes sir," the guard said, looking frightened. He'd never seen this side of Apollo before, and he had to admit it was a little scary.

Lee sat down heavily, a little ashamed at his angry outburst. Why was it he could never control his emotions around Kara? That carefully crafted wall he'd built to protect himself after he'd lost his family - all the people that had mattered to him - seemed to turn to sponge whenever he was with her. The barrage of emotions he kept carefully hidden gravitated to Kara like moths to a flame.

"Starbuck," he whispered softly.

No answer.

"Kara, it's me, Lee."

Still no answer. Not even a twitch. It was as though she were frozen in place.

"Okay, I get that you don't want to talk to me, but I need to talk to you."

The pleading in his voice reached her and touched something inside, but still she wasn't willing to respond.

"Can we have a few minutes here?" Lee turned to the guard.

He looked around the room. "I'm not really supposed to leave you alone."

"Where are we going to go? We're both locked up. Please, just let us have a few minutes alone to talk, okay?"

The pleading in Lee's voice must have gotten through to him at least, because he nodded and stepped out, shutting the door behind him. However, his head was still visible through the glass and Lee nodded approvingly.

"Kara, I want to apologize to you. I'm so, so sorry for hurting you. I ... I ... didn't mean to hit you, gods, the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you. I hope you can forgive me someday." I'll never forgive myself though, he thought. Never. "I've said and done awful things to you - you never deserved any of them." His voice broke - the tears were so close to falling. "I'm sorry, so sorry," he whispered, and then fell silent. He buried his face in his hands and let the tears fall silently.

Still, Kara sat, as stone, unmoving, unspeaking. But her heart had heard every word Lee had said and stored it all away for future processing. Right now she was too broken - she needed time to heal, physically and emotionally. Dealing with Lee always took an emotional toll on her, and right now her reserve was well below zero.

So she sat. And stared. And Lee cried.

ZZZZZZZZ

The noise level in the officer's mess was rising fast.

"I heard she's been struck deaf and dumb."

"Really? I heard she tore a strip off Apollo for beating on her."

"It's not like she doesn't ask for it you know - she's always picking fights."

"Yeah, but no one'll touch her but Apollo. I mean come on, would you hit a woman?"

"What do you mean - women can't defend themselves?" A female voice piped up.

"Well, obviously not well enough. Starbuck's the toughest woman on the ship and still she gets the short end of the stick in a fist fight."

"Only with Apollo though. Which of YOU guys could fight him and come out the winner?" the female voice asked. Dead silence. Either no one felt up to the challenge, or no one was willing to admit Apollo could beat him.

"What do you s'pose they were fighting about?" The din began again.

"Who knows? Do they even NEED a reason to go at each other?"

"I'm surprised they don't end up frakking instead of fighting. Wouldn't that be something - right there on the flight deck in front of everyone!" Some coarse laughter was heard.

"I'm surprised too. I could have sworn they were hot for each other."

"Nah, who'd want Starbuck? She's too ... butch."

"What the hell? She's hot - you're blind man."

And the volume continued to rise as the gossip and speculation spread like wildfire.

"Enough."

One word was all it took to reduce the room to silence. Seventeen people all rose from their chairs as one to salute their Commander.

"Sit down," he said shortly, and his people obeyed. "I know this is a small ship and news travels fast, but I expect this kind of behaviour to desist IMMEDIATELY. It's childish and unkind. You are being disrespectful to two of Galactica's finest officers, who've saved our collective asses on more than one occasion I might add, and your superior officers. What happened between Apollo and Starbuck is exactly that - between Apollo and Starbuck. The next person I hear talking about them will join them in the brig. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir." Seventeen voice in unison, crisply saluting their Commander. As it should be.

"Back to your dinners then," he added, heading up to the counter to pick up his. He felt rather satisfied with himself - he'd known the rumour mill would run wild, but he had every intention of protecting his son's and Kara's privacy. They deserved that much.

As he sat down to eat, he pondered his next move. Finally, just as he finished, it came to him. He needed to see Kara.

ZZZZZZZZ

The guard heard the gentle tap at the door and turned to find the Commander standing there, waiting to be let in.

"Sir," he said, pulling the door open.

"Thank you Johnson. I'd like to see Starbuck."

"Oh." Surprise was evident on Johnson's face and in his voice. He'd assumed Adama had come to see his son. "Of course sir."

Adama looked at the adjacent cell and locked eyes with Lee briefly before turning back to focus on Kara. He sat beside her on the bed as the guard relocked the cell and returned to his desk.

"Kara."

No answer. He knew though, that she wasn't being disrespectful or rude by not answering. He knew that she couldn't - that she needed to close herself off to deal with her pain. He also knew something she didn't - that she would need help.

"Kara, I wanted to let you know that I'm here for you. I'm not mad or upset with you - I understand life has been tough the last year and that you've had so much more to deal with than you should. You've buried your fears and pains and done what needed to be done to save us. And I'm immensely proud of you. But I know all of that must be eating away at you, especially now with all that's happened in the past few weeks. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it was for you to leave us to retrieve the arrow of Apollo - and don't even think for one minute that you deserted us! You did what had to be done to save humanity, despite your personal feelings for those you left behind.

I know I don't believe in all that religious stuff, but many do, including yourself, and we need to have something to guide us - something to believe in , to keep us together. You gave us that hope, but at what cost? It's obvious you went through hell and back on Caprica; despite the fact that you won't talk about it, the signs are all there."

He carried on in a softer, more gentle voice. "I'm sure fighting with Lee, which incidentally the two of you seem incredibly proficient at, came at the wrong time for you as well.

Anyway, I wanted to make sure you know that if and when you need to talk, I'm here for you." He reached over and put an arm around her shoulders lovingly. She didn't snuggle into him, cry, or show any outward sign of emotion, but neither did she shrug it off.

It was a good first step, Adama thought.

TBC