Absolution - chapter 6

ZZZZZZZZ

Adama was worried about his son. Lee looked like he hadn't slept in days, and in actuality, he probably hadn't. Adama had been unfortunately or perhaps fortunately unconscious and fighting for his life while Kara had been gone, but Tigh had kept him up to date with Lee's 'activities' and considering the strain he'd been under along with worrying about Kara, he probably hadn't slept the entire two weeks. And now, he likely hadn't slept much the last two nights either. He looked like hell and sounded worse.

"Lee," Adama interrupted, as Lee plodded through his weekly report, looking and sounding like a zombie. Lee lifted his eyes from the page and stopped talking.

"Go lie down."

"No, really, I'm fine sir," Lee protested but Adama held up a hand to silence him.

"You need rest."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Now get some rest - that's an order. I need my CAG clear-headed and able to work."

Lee stood up, gathering papers back into his file folder. "Yes sir," he said resignedly.

Just as he reached the door he heard his father's voice speak softly. "And I hate to see my son suffering so much."

Lee stopped and blinked a few times. It was rare that his father said words of comfort to him. He was obviously uncomfortable with the whole idea of showing emotions, and Lee could count on one hand the number of times his father had opened up with him like this. He half turned. "Dad?" Adama had risen from his chair and was heading towards his son, pulling him into an embrace while Lee was still too shocked to move.

"It hurts me to see you like this," he said quietly, and the fact that his father was able to say such a thing, nevermind the words themselves, brought tears to Lee's eyes. It was obvious their relationship was changing. For the better.

ZZZZZZZZ

"What the hell?" Doc Cottle was not impressed. It was 2am and he was off duty.

"I need something."

"Can't it wait till morning Apollo?"

"No. I need you to give me something to make me sleep."

"You drag my ass out of bed at this hour for frakking sleeping pills? Are you crazy?"

"Keep your voice down! You'll wake up Starbuck!" Lee growled. He'd spent hours watching her, as her eyelids grew heavier and heavier. She'd finally let herself lay down, still curled in the fetal position, and fall asleep.

Lee however, had tossed and turned, far too much on his mind to allow for rest. He was mindful of his father's words though, and knew he HAD to sleep sometime tonight. So he'd begged the guard to wake the Doc and bring him down.

"I need them Doc. I won't be able to function if I don't sleep."

"Nuh uh, no can do. Only on orders."

"Frak the orders! I'm your superior office, now do as I say!"

"Sorry Apollo, in order to give them to you I need word from the Commander or Exo."

"Frak." Lee looked like he was about to cry. The Doc looked at him closely.

"You look like hell."

"Thanks for noticing," Lee said sarcastically. "Doesn't do much if you won't help me."

"How long has it been since you've slept?"

Lee thought at moment. "I think I caught a couple of hours on the Astral Queen, if I remember rightly. That must have been ... hmmm ... five or six days ago?" He seemed to be asking more than telling.

"Frak. No wonder you look so bad. You haven't had any stims have you?"

"How could I? I need the Commander or Exo's permission." Lee's voice dripped with sarcasm, but the doctor could hear an undercurrent of exhaustion as well.

"Just this once Apollo. But if this gets out, I'll deny everything."

"Fine, fine, just do it please?" Lee pleaded, body weary beyond anything he'd ever experienced before, even the time the cylons attacked every 33 minutes. At least he'd had adrenaline to keep him going then.

Fifteen minutes later, he was blissfully sleeping - finally able to rest.

ZZZZZZZZ

Kara woke to find Lee sleeping like a baby. The lines on his face were lessened and he looked relaxed - unlike the way he'd looked since Kara'd come back.

She'd had the nightmares again. She was afraid to let herself sleep, but her body had betrayed her and given in again. Every time she had the nightmare, she woke up in a cold sweat, terrified she was back at the baby farm on Caprica.

She sat up in bed and clasped her arms around her legs again, ready to face another day.

She watched as the guard struggled to get Lee up - he acted as though he'd been drugged, but how was that possible? He'd blinked and stretched a few times and then come to the bars of her cell, and tender but sad look in his usually piercing blue eyes.

"Kara, how are you doing?" he said softly. He didn't really expect an answer though, so when she turned her head to look at him, it came as a great shock. The look of intense pain in her grey-green eyes was almost enough to make him flinch. He felt tears prick at the back of his eyes. No! Don't cry! He ordered himself.

"It's time to go sir," the guard broke the silence reluctantly. He could feel the tension between them, and the pain they both radiated was strong enough to affect him.

"I'll see you later," Lee whispered, blinking back the tears and following the guard out of his cell. It was going to be another tough day.

ZZZZZZZZ

Lee sat in the nearly deserted mess hall, trying to get caught up on some of his paperwork. It seemed the pile never lessened, and now especially with all the extra hands-on work he had to do, it appeared the pile was growing. Crashdown had had a bad reaction to something he'd eaten and had been out of commission for the day, leaving Lee to do two rounds of CAP plus Starbuck's nugget training - altogether ten hours in the air.

He dropped his pen and scrubbed a hand across his eyes, wishing he had toothpicks to keep them open. His body was bone-weary and stiff from so many hours in the cockpit, and all he wanted was a long, hot shower and a date with his rack.

Unfortunately, a good chunk of the paperwork sitting in front of him was due on his father's desk that evening, and , as in the games of Monopoly he'd played in his youth, he had to go straight to jail - do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, and definitely no shower either.

Lee let his gaze wander and discovered that the only other person in the room with him was Colonel Tigh. He glanced at the clock. No surprise - it was long past suppertime.

Tigh was looking at him, a smug look on his face. Lee chose to ignore it and continued on with his work, but now he felt Tigh's eyes on him and he had the constant urge to look up and see if he was staring. He glanced up and down a few times over the next few minutes, only to find Tigh's smug face staring back at him.

He clenched his teeth and put his pen down deliberately. "Go ahead, say it," he said stiffly.

"Say what?" Tigh chose to play the innocent.

"Whatever's on your mind. I can tell you're dying to say it, so go ahead."

"Off the record?"

"Whatever." Lee tensed, knowing it wasn't going to be pretty.

Tigh shook his head, a tight-lipped smile playing around his mouth. "You're a bastard."

"I beg your pardon?" Lee was shocked. He'd never expected Tigh to be so blunt.

"Hitting a woman. I can't believe you'd stoop so low. And to do it twice now. Maybe more times," he shrugged. "Who the hell knows what kind of abuse you subject her to when no one's looking."

Lee was livid. He stood suddenly, knocking over his chair. "You don't know anything about it." His voice was shaking with anger. "You don't understand our relationship, so don't even pretend you do!"

"You're right - I don't think anyone understands - it's far too frakked up." He stood now too, eyes narrowing. "But the fact that you have a 'relationship' to explain is against the rules mister. If you'd keep your personal feelings where they belong..."

"Personal feelings? Who are you to be talking about personal feelings? You were willing to leave Starbuck behind and let her die because you can't stand her!"

"And you were willing to let the rest of us die to save her! She's not worth forty-five thousand lives."

"Yes she is!" Lee's eyes flashed with fire.

Tigh nodded slightly, his eyes never leaving Lee's face. But he said nothing for a few moments, allowing Lee's statement to weigh heavily.

"So that's it, isn't it? You love her. She's not just your friend, she's your frakking lover."

"No she's not!"

"But you wish she was."

Lee wanted to deny it, but he couldn't flat-out lie. So he said nothing. Tigh nodded again at Lee's tacit acceptance of his statement.

"God I feel sorry for her. I can't believe I'm saying this about Starbuck of all people, but if that's how you treat people you love..."

"Be glad I don't like you!" Lee spat bitterly.

"Oh, I am son, I am."

"Don't you call me son!"

"Right, that's reserved for someone else you love, or do you really love him? It's hard to tell sometimes, especially when you turn on him and join forces with the President. I feel sorry for him too, having a son like you."

If looks could have killed, Tigh would have been dead on the floor, a dagger sticking out of his heart. When Lee finally spoke, his voice was deadly quiet. "At least I make a stand for what I believe in."

Tigh advanced towards him, a murderous look on his face. "Why you littlle..."

"What?" Lee said calmly, standing his ground. "Go ahead, call me whatever you like." He smiled, enraging Tigh further.

"I'm going to get you for that," Tigh bit out angrily, pulling his arm for a punch. Lee continued to hold his ground.

"Hold it!" a voice bellowed from the doorway, just as Tigh's fist was about to collide with Lee's nose. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" The Commander's voice was venomous, his gaze aimed at Tigh. Tigh couldn't seem to find his voice, so Adama's eyes turned to Lee.

"We were just having a conversation."

"Like hell we were." Tigh finally found his tongue. "You insulted my honour..."

"And you were about to deck me because of it." Lee paused a moment and his voice softened. "Now you know how Starbuck feels."

"Gentlemen, there's been enough violence on my ship lately. No more! Captain, report to the brig as per your orders. Colonel, you are relieved of duty."

"Yes sir," the said in unison, Tigh throwing a nasty glance at Lee on his way out of the room.

Adama fell into step with his son. "You want to tell me what the hell was going on in there?" he asked.