Absolution - chapter 9

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"Of course, come in." Adama put down the paper he was reading and placed his glasses carefully on top of it. He came around the desk and hugged her gently. "Water?" he asked. She nodded and he poured a glass, then came to join her on the couch.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, then Adama broke it. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Kara nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be," she answered. "It's never been easy for me to talk ..."

"That's a surprise," he teased.

"You know what I mean." She smiled. He always had a way of making her feel at ease.

"Yes, I know. For being probably the loudest and most obnoxious person on this ship, you're awfully closed about what's inside."

"Everyone has a skill," she smiled broadly, remembering the last time she'd used that phrase. The feelings she'd felt at that moment came back to her in a rush - happiness that Lee was still alive.

"You seem to have more than most. Of course a lot of them seem to get you into trouble..."

"Years of practice."

Adama smiled. She really was something special despite her rough exterior. He fully understood how both of his sons had managed to fall in love with her.

"Anyway, you wanted to talk, so ..."

Kara took a deep breath and began. "When I was on Caprica..."

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Lee walked into the officer's mess, more than ready for lunch. His morning had seemed endless, even though he'd had less tasks than the previous few days. His roster of pilots was full, save Kara, and for once things seemed to be running smoothly.

He looked up from his lunch to find Baltar walking towards his table. Please, not here.

"May I join you?" Do the other seats look taken?

"Sure," Lee said resignedly. He'd wanted to eat alone - needed time to himself. Something his two jobs rarely allowed. But one couldn't be rude to the Vice President.

"I hear Lieutenant Thrace is better."

"Yes," Lee said tersely.

"I also heard she's back to normal duty now as well. She must be happy about that."

"I suspect it'll be a long time before she's back on active duty."

"Why's that? It was a facial injury was it not?"

"Yes it was." Lee's fists balled up under the table. The desire to hit this irritating bastard was becoming almost unbearable.

"Right, I forgot. You should know about facial injuries, or have you never suffered any?" The inquiry seemed innocent but Lee could read Baltar's purpose behind it. You smug bastard!

"You obviously have no idea of the physics involved in flight. The pressure in the cockpit would be enough to cause unbearable pain and probable unconsciousness. That's not even accounting for combat maneouvres, assuming we have visitors."

"Then I imagine she'll have a lot of time on her hands till she's healed enough to fly." Baltar smiled and half winked at Lee.

"Don't you touch her." The words were menacing enough to wipe the smile off his face.

"Or what?"

"Or you'll have me to deal with." Lee's voice was low and threatening.

Baltar laughed loudly, but there was no trace of amusement on his face. "Somehow I have the feeling she might be safer with me." He leaned closer to Lee and his voice dropped. "At least I didn't hurt her - she cried out in ecstasy when she was with me."

Lee literally shook with anger. How dare he? He stood suddenly, face reddening, and walked out of the mess hall. Control yourself Lee - you don't need the trouble turning him into a puddle of goo would cause.

Back in the mess hall, Baltar looked around at all the puzzled faces staring at him. "Have I said something?" he joked. No one laughed though.

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"Oh Kara, I'm so sorry," Adama said, reaching for her hand and squeezing it.

"It's not your fault." Her voice wavered as she fought to control her tears. There was a moment of silence between them.

"I can't help but feel responsible," he said quietly. "I replayed our last conversation before you left over and over in my head. I should have tried to stop you, not encouraged you to go."

"Wouldn't have mattered. I'd have gone anyway."

"I know. You're too damn stubborn for your own good." He smiled at her, squeezing her hand once again. She smiled back weakly, but the tears spilled forth and ran down her cheeks.

"Wonder where I learned that?" she asked, sniffling.

Adama reached a hand up and stroked her cheek tenderly. "I'm glad the gods sent you to us. You truly do belong in the Adama family."

"I thought you didn't believe in the gods."

"I don't. But you do, and if that faith was enough for you to do what you did, then perhaps I ought to reconsider. A lot of things that have happened lately have shaken what I've always believed to be sacred."

Kara's eyes dropped. She knew he was referring to her desertion and Lee's betrayal. "I'm sorry sir. Sorry I wasn't here when ... it all happened." She just couldn't bring herself to say the words.

Adama put a finger under her chin and lifted it up so he could look into her eyes. "No regrets - isn't that what I told you? Make sure you have no regrets." He almost sounded angry, but the sorrow in his eyes belied the gruff tone.

"My life is full of regrets," Kara said brokenly, tears spilling out again. Adama pulled her close and hugged her tightly.

"It's time to put them behind you and move forward."

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Billy knocked and entered the President's 'study' as it had been dubbed, but stopped short upon seeing her slumped over, head in her hands.

"Madam President, are you alright?" he asked worriedly.

"No, I'm not alright. Haven't been alright for a long time now."

Billy shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. "Do you need the doctor?"

She lifted her head up and looked straight at him, smiling weakly. "No, I think it's a different kind of healing I need."

Billy's eyebrows creased in confusion.

"See if Eloshia is available please."

"Right away Madam President." Billy turned and exited quickly. Roslin sighed deeply. Talking with Captain Apollo had been more wearing than she'd imagined it would be. She'd spent all the time since Lieutenant Thrace had left for Caprica telling herself that it had been necessary - that sacrifices had to be made. Now she was beginning to wonder if perhaps the price had been too high.

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Ellen Tigh woke up to find her bed empty. Her eyes scanned the room to see if Saul had gone on duty yet. She found him, standing as though he'd been turned to stone, still in his tanks and undershorts, bottle in hand. He was unshaven and there was a glazed look in his eye.

"Starting a little early this morning, aren't we?" she drawled, leaning up on one elbow, exposing her naked torso to him.

"Frak you," he said nastily, taking another swig.

"Bill doesn't like it when you're drunk on duty."

"You been talking to him?" He eyed her appraisingly. He was well aware of his wife's ... hobbies, shall we say. He'd always thought she'd gone for younger men though. This was new.

"Not lately," she said, getting out of bed and pulling the sheet up around her.

"Hmm," was all she heard.

"Come back to bed Saul. You're not on duty for a few hours yet, and I can think of something better to do than drinking." She smiled provocatively.

"Sex isn't the cure for everything you know."

"But it makes you forget your problems."

"So does this." He swirled his bottle and took another long drink. "Works like a charm if you have enough of it."

"Pull yourself together Saul; can't you see what you're doing to yourself?" There was no mistaking the anger in her voice.

"You leave me to deal with things my way!" he roared back at her.

"You don't deal with them! You hide in that bottle!" she yelled back.

He pointed a finger at her warningly. "You just leave me alone, understand? Leave me alone." And he sank into a chair, the precious bottle headed back to his mouth.

TBC