Title: Competing With Ms. Perfect

Author: Gunsmoke N Cigarettes

Summary: When Spike returns with his angel, Faye feels that she always pales in comparison to Ms. Perfect. Can she prove to Spike that she can be otherwise? SxF, JxOC

AN: Hey, everybody! I'm sorry that's it's been so long. Anyways, CWMP is now M rated! Hooray! Anyways, this is because the language will start to become more coarse, and there will be a lemon (hopefully) between SxF. So, keep on reviewing!

Disclaimer: Gunsmoke N Cigarettes do not own Cowboy Bebop. Now, leave us alone!

Warning: Coarse Language

Chapter Three

Rayne slumped down on the yellow sofa in the middle of the commons and coughed. Spike and Faye were sitting next to her, and both were smoking.

Surprise, surprise.

"Could you guys please stop? I wanna stay alive, here!", she requested hotly, giving a slight pouted.

"Go to your room, then! It's our commons!", Faye growled, tapping the ash to her cigarette against the arm of the couch before purposely blowing her cancerous smoke into the girl's face.

Rayne snarled, then grabbed the cancer stick out of Faye's mouth. "Listen, I can stay wherever I want!" She smashed the cigarette in her hand, not saying anything when the embers burned her.

Faye snorted, yet made no verbal protest, which deeply surprised Spike. Giving her a funny look, he demanded sourly, "What, so you're just gonna give up and let that wench rule the roost?"

"Well I can't very well tell off Jet's future fiancee...it could cause future problems", the vixen returned smugly, thoroughly enjoying Rayne's current facial expression.

"We..I...oh, just get that smug shit-faced smile off your face, Spike. You got your own freaking wench to worry about!", Rayne growled peevishly in response.

Where was Evelyn when you needed her?

"Excuse me?", Spike demanded, thoroughly insulted. "Maybe if you and Jet could keep your freaking hands to yourself, Julia and I wouldn't have to intervene all the time!"

"WHAT? Jet and I haven't been near each other! Just a little hand holding, that's all!" Rayne screamed in outrage, pouncing on Spike.

"Arggh! Get the hell off me!"

In a blur of color, the two tumbled, Faye holding a hand to her face in disgust as she muttered, "Can you guys keep it down? I'm trying to watch Big Shot!"

Sending Rayne a swift push, Spike sourly rose back onto the couch beside the vixen, then shot a glare at the young woman who moved to sit back down beside him.

Bitch.

"That's right, Judy! We've got some hot hot hooot bounties for you today!"

"Ooooh, really, Punch? What are they, what are they? I hope they're as dreamy as the last two!"

"Nope, sorry! These two babes are assassins...double the trouble! Ahahaha...yeah, sorry, I know it wasn't that funny. But anywho, these little fire crackers are named Rayne Rivers and Evelyn Muscovitz. Both women are wanted for 500 million woolongs each due to their excessive murdering and manslaughter."

"Ooooh, Punch! I could buy a new diamond-studded bra with that!"

"You wear one? Well shucks howdy!"

"Puuunch!"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry...here are the pictures of these fine young ladies...aren't they a couple-a beauts? Especially that blonde one, mmm boy! Well I could just-"

"Puuunch! How many times have I told you to stop drooling over women who aren't as pretty as me?"

"Ok, ok...that's our show, amigos, so go out there and get hunting!"

"Sayonara!"

Rayne trembled slightly under the shocked expression of Spike and Faye. Her picture was different back there, but you could tell it was her. "Um...suprise?", she told them weakly, only to immediately jump over the couch and dash off to a random part of the ship.

"Don't let her get away!", Spike exclaimed, already seizing his precious Jericho before leaping over the back of the yellow couch with the grace that only he happened to possess.

Nodding, Faye retrieved her own Glock from within the sanction of her gaudy white boot, immediately following after. If that stupid lunkhead thought that he was going to get all the fun, he had another think coming!

Rayne panicked as she realized that her only chance at hiding was the dingy little closet behind her. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, cringing at the loud, airtight 'SWISH' noise that it made.

Spike, meanwhile, grinned in triumph, announcing enthusiastically, "Great! We're sure to have her, now...she's trapped in the closet!"

Stopping before the shut door, Faye smirked, then opened it, only to balk upon finding nothing inside. "Spike," she began, absolutely flabbergasted, "she...she's gone!"

"What? Let me see!", the mossy-haired cowboy growled, only to discover that she was right. Cursing, he slammed the door shut, pocketing his Jericho in utter frustration. Turning to face the vixen once more, he ordered, "You check the right wing while I check out the left...move!"

Rayne sighed, then groaned slightly. She gripped the closet bar, all the while keeping up her body in a cramped handstand on the ceiling.

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Evelyn sourly cursed her seemingly never-ending misfortune as she stared at her mini vid cam within the palm of her hand. She had lost the lottery. Again.

"Worthless tickets", she muttered, tossing them off to the side before catching sight of Ein grinning his dopey-dog grin in the corner. Frowning, the blonde demanded hotly, "Well what are you looking at? Never seen a girl before?"

Pausing, she smacked a hand to her face, swearing brusquely, "Jesus H. Christ, I'm talking to a fucking dog..."

Barking loudly in response, Ein trotted up to the disgruntled woman, than happily sniffed at her high-heeled stiletto boots.

Cocking her head to the side in a comical fashion, Evelyn suddenly came to realize that this dog seemed smarter than most, and it unnerved her.

"You like sex, drugs and cash?", she questioned, naturally curious to see if the furry beast would answer.

When Ein yipped in response, the blonde couldn't help but grin, suddenly squatting down on her haunches so that they were now face to face.

"You know what?", she asked, smiling as she fondly stroked at his ears, "you remind me of my days back with Rhint Celonias and his little dog, Vixie. Back before she came...that damned, abominable Alisa!"

Nuzzling her hand in understanding, Ein forced the woman to have a seat by leaping into her lap, the blonde letting out an unceremonious 'oof' as she fell flat on her ass.

"You actually wanna hear the story, huh?", Evelyn questioned, smirking in spite of herself before scratching the dog behind the ears. "You see, I was betrayed...double-crossed, back-stabbed...all the like. This is why the only men I like are the ones that can't talk...men like you." Chuckling softly, she continued, "Alisa was apparently some other knock-off's woman, but Rhint was automatically infatuated with the twit. I, being an assassin, should've naturally blown his ass sky high, but I had a weakness for him. In fact, one day he even-" She paused. Did she hear...footsteps?

"Evelyn? Rayne? We need to talk to you!" Came the sugary sweet voice of Spike.

Now that's when you know something's wrong...

Frowning, Evelyn placed a finger to her lips to indicate to Ein to be quiet, her stealthy skills immediately coming into play as she retrieved one of her prized daggers from between her breasts and slunk over to the corner of the hallway.

Peering slightly around the edge, the blonde immediately leapt out and pinned Spike against the wall, her breath hot and ragged as she demanded gruffly into his ear, "What do you want with us, cowboy? You discover our price?"

Spike smiled, cocking his Jericho. "Yes, my dear. And let's just say you and Rayne are worth a whooooole lotta woolong."

"Oh? You didn't know, already? The boys back home could've toldja that", Evelyn returned sweetly, kneeing him in the solar plexus before taking him by the inner junction of his arm and tossing him over and onto his back.

Seizing his precious Jericho from within his grasp, the blonde then aimed the firearm straight between his eyes, hissing menacingly in response, "If you don't let us go, I'll blow a hole straight through your fucking skull! I mean it!"

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Rayne let out a groan of pain. She had been in this position, for what, like 25 minutes?

"Helloooo? Is somebody in heeere?", came a high-pitched, excited voice from outside the closet door. "Ed smells Raaaayne! Come on out, Raaayne!"

"Ed? Ssh, be quiet! Come inside the closet, sweetheart," Rayne urged nervously, waiting for the kid to make her grand entrance.

Instead of finding just Edward, however, the blue-haired woman was terribly shocked to find both the blithe redhead and Jet standing there before her.

"Hello, Rayne", the balding man greeted solemnly.

"So I guess you found out about my bounty, huh, Jet?" She asked, swinging out of her position. She stumbled a bit, then opted to just sit on the floor.

He shrugged his broad shoulders, returning softly, "I was actually hoping to help you and your friend escape...I've been searching everywhere for you."

"I don't want to leave the Bebop, Jet...It's the one place that actually feels like home," Rayne said softly, and looked up at him.

"Hooome, rooooam, croooome!", Edward chortled erratically in response, thus somewhat destroying the sentimental moment.

Coughing, Jet returned anxiously, "Well, uh...what do you want me to tell the others?"

"Tell them that they can turn me in...just leave Evey alone..." She trailed off, and stood up shakily. "I'm going to miss you guys."

She stood up, now prepared to leave.

Sighing, the balding man led her into the other room, only to find Spike at gunpoint. "What the...?"

"Tell Evelyn to get the hell off me!", He shouted at Rayne, and gulped when he heard his gun's trigger being pulled back...

"Don't worry, I won't kill your friend, if you let us both go!", the blonde returned hotly, staring both Jet and Spike down one after the other. "And Rayne", she continued, turning to look at the girl, "wrap this thing with Jet up, already, so we can go and assassinate Alisa. You promised!"

She failed to notice, however, the flinch in the balding man's posture.

"Evelyn...I told you that I didn't want to kill people anymore..." Rayne's shoulders drooped as everybody found out that they were going to assassinate somebody. "You said we could quit and live a normal life, remember? That's why I colored my hair."

"B-but she took away my lover!", Evelyn wailed, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as her hand with the gun began to shake, much to the immense displeasure of her captive. "You said you'd help me clean her clock, and then we'd quit!"

"Evelyn...you have to forget about the fucking bastard..." Rayne walked slowly to Evelyn, and hugged her gently. "Let Spike go, and we'll leave, ok?"

Biting her lip, Evelyn felt her brows furrow together as her arm slowly lowered to its rightful position by her hip, the mossy-haired cowboy's Jericho now falling from her grasp and to the ground before another word could be said.

Jet, meanwhile, was terribly flustered. "Y-you knew Alisa?", he squeaked, suddenly seeming to be a new man. "How well? Where is she? Where can I find her?"

Rayne looked up at Jet slowly. "How do you know her?" Her eyes would not show the hurt at his frantic questions about Alisa.

"I..." His mouth was terribly dry. "She and I...we, uh...we...were together. Before this Rhint guy."

He swallowed.

"Oh...well, Evey and I will be leaving. I'm sorry you guys couldn't collect our bounties", Rayne forced out, then stood up straight with her friend.

This was what she got for being attracted to a man.

"Hey, wait...what the hell do you think you're doing?", Evelyn demanded, yanking her grasp from her friend's before eyeing her strangely. "You're just gonna let this go like the drop of a hat? You like that guy, yet you don't bother asking how he feels in return? Odd... After all, you know what I'd do to show him my feelings." She grinned broadly.

"I'm not you, Evey! That's the whole point! Now can we go talk about this somewhere else like, oh, I don't know...outer space!", Rayne growled, throwing her arms into the air before storming off toward the hangar like a madwoman.

The Bebop crew stood there absolutely dumbfounded, wondering why they weren't taking any action against the two bounties.

Evelyn groaned, then sent them all apologetic glances. "Will you excuse me? My ride just...erm...left."

Spike looked at Jet, then shrugged.

"Don't look at me...you brought this on yourself since you scared those two poor girls!", the balding man return gruffly, pointing his mechanical finger at his comrade before he could utter a single defense. "If you want money, I suggest you find it elsewhere! Those two are far too decent to be turned in to the ISSP!"

Spike whistled. "I never thought that you would fall so hard for a bounty."

"Speak for yourself. I see the way you look at Faye", Jet concluded.

"What? Well what about you? As I recall, you're the one who let Faye stay in here like some freaking stray!", Spike returned harshly in response, suddenly terribly irritated. "In this case, it's no different!"

"Well, look who didn't stop her!" Jet shrieked, ready to tear out all of his remaining hair.

"Well how the hell could I? You're in charge, remember?", Spike shot back, staring his friend down with a tint of fiery embers within his eyes unlike any ever seen before. "I don't care about Faye! She's just some irritant who eats all our fucking food!"

"Keep telling yourself that, Spike! Now if you don't mind, I have to keep Rayne and Evelyn from leaving!", Jet growled, storming out of the room before another word could be exchanged between the two.

Evelyn, meanwhile, had seized Rayne by the shoulders and was shaking her. "Snap out of it, you idiot! Why are you trying to run away?"

"Because we'll have to leave eventually! We always have to!" Rayne shouted, and started to cry.

"That's bullshit, and you know it! You said so yourself that this felt like home!", the blonde insisted, now terribly exasperated. "Wasn't it you who always told me to let the past go? Well feeling this way is in the past, Rayne! Forget about it!"

"Why won't you let Rhint go?" Rayne demanded, immediately changing the subject.

Evelyn sneered at her friend, counterattacking viciously, "Well why won't you let go of Jet?"

Rayne blushed in a mad outrage. "Why won't you let go of the fact that Alisa has Rhint, and you're just jealous?", she bit out harshly, regretting her outburst when she saw the color drain away from Evelyn's face.

"You're such a bitch", she whispered, her dark eyes scintillating with tears that absolutely refused to be shed as she abruptly pivoted on her heel in order to make her escape, only to run into something large and bulky. "Jet!", she exclaimed, her face now even paler than before.

Jet looked at Evelyn and then at Rayne, sighing deeply. "What the hell have you two gotten yourselves into?"

"Why don't you ask Rayne?", Evelyn suggested, sending her friend a terrible death glare. "You're the one who's so damn obsessed with her, after all..."

"Evey, I'm sorry. Really", Rayne said softly, looked at her in a pleading manner. "It just came out. You know how I am."

Evelyn snorted. "Yeah, I do...inconsiderate." Turning her attention back to Jet, she returned dryly, "Oh, yeah, and Rayne thinks your one sexy mofo...go figure."

"Shut up, Evelyn!" Rayne blushed madly.

Great. She had made things worse with her best friend.

Rayne, however, wasn't the only one blushing. Jet was currently the exact shade of a tomato, his bottom lip quivering slightly as he announced rather timidly, "Well, I, uh...um...I came here to tell you two that you could stay. Hope that's alright?" He coughed.

"You aren't going to take us in?" Rayne asked suspiciously, her violet eyes narrowing.

He shook his head. "Nope, no need...thanks to a pretty hefty bounty that Spike took in not too long ago, we're going be in fairly good shape for the next month or so. Only catch is, you have to help out around here."

"I guess," Rayne agreed, "but only if it's ok with Evey."

The blonde couldn't help but smirk. "Sure! Now I can tease that stupid cowboy that Faye secretly likes but it's really not such a big secret."

Rayne chuckled, then hugged Evelyn tightly. "I really am sorry, Evey. Forgive me?"

She shrugged rather begrudgingly. "Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever...just never mention that Rhint bastard's name again, kay?"

"Alright. I promise!" Rayne made a scout's honor signal, and looked at Jet, who was watching her with wide eyes.

"What? What's wrong, Jet?" Rayne asked desperately.

"Where's Alisa?"

Evelyn glanced to Rayne, giving her a quick shake of the head. She didn't want to hear about that woman or Rhint again for as long as she lived.

"Go, Evelyn. Jet and I have to talk, ok?" Rayne nodded at the door.

The blonde knew what her friend was doing and didn't like it. At all. She primarily couldn't figure out why on earth the girl was trying to help Jet find his long lost lover; didn't she like him, too?

Finally deciding to just let it go, Evelyn gave the couple one last fleeting glance, then exited the room to head into the commons.

"Jet, what do you want to know?" Rayne asked, expecting a great feeling of despair coming to rest upon her shoulders.

"All I want to know", he revealed, taking a deep breath, "is where my Alisa is."

There. He'd said it.

"Your Alisa?" Rayne looked down, and let a sigh come out.

Jet nodded, not taking note of the girl's sudden depression. "Yeah...we wanted to get married, but sh-she suddenly walked out on me, only leaving behind a damned pocket watch."

"We don't know where she is. I was on my way on a double cross mission to help Evelyn kill her, but we got lost on Earth", Rayne revealed softly, not removing her timid gaze from her steel-toed combat boots.

"Oh," Jet mumbled, suddenly terribly disappointed. "I thought Evey said something about knowing her whereabouts, though..."

"We thought we did...I contacted her, but I guess she knew that Evey was with me because she heard her in the background." Rayne rubbed the back of her head.

"What does Alisa have against Evey?", Jet demanded, suddenly terribly interested. "Did they know one another in the past?"

"Alisa stole Rhint away from Evelyn..."

Jet immediately stiffened. "Rhint? You mean...he cheated on Evey for my Alisa, and then she, in turn, cheated on me?"

"I don't know...I wasn't involved with them...Jet, I still hope this doesn't change anything in our relationship..." Rayne looked at him directly, almost pleading with him.

The balding man gave her a fleeting glance, then ran his fingers through what little hair that remained atop his head. Sighing, he returned softly, "I don't know, Rayne...I really loved her..."

"I didn't want to hurt her, if it makes you feel better", She insisted desperately.

Jet, however, hardly even seemed to be paying her any attention. He was gazing our longingly at the constellations in front of the view port, his sky blue eyes both soft and luminescent as he reached out a hand and gently touched the glass. "Alisa..."

"I'll be going now, Jet. Evelyn can stay if she wants. Take care of her, ok?" Rayne stood up, stretching. She walked up to her zip craft and opened the cock pit.

Jet suddenly snapped back to reality as if he had been slapped, his head immediately swiveling to the side before he barked out, "Hey, where do you think you're going, Rayne? Come back!"

"Nah, it's ok, Jet. I've got places to go, people to meet. See ya." She winked at him, and flashed a smile.

Her heart was breaking.

"But...why?", he choked, absolutely disbelieving what was going on. "We all want you to stay, so please...stay."

"Hey, I can't be Alisa, so, why stay? I'd just be taking up space." She turned on the craft, smiling as it roared to life.

Jet gave her a sad look, then nodded solemnly. She was a woman, and women, he knew, rarely changed their mind. "If that's how you want it", he agreed.

"You can come, if you want, " She suddenly said, and looked at him directly.

"B-but my crew...my ship...they'd fall apart without me", Jet insisted, absolutely stunned by the sudden, yet not completely unwelcome offer. "Surely you can rethink this, Rayne..."

"I dunno. I'm not going to be Alisa..." She turned off the craft.

"I never said I wanted you to be", the balding man returned gruffly, suddenly rather irritated. "I like you to be who you were meant to be, Rayne...you're real special." He winced. That had sounded so lame.

"That was lame, if you didn't know it." Rayne smiled and hopped down, slightly wincing when her feet hit the floor.

He sighed, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I know...heh. Glad you changed your mind, though." He smiled.

"Jet..." She trailed off, and kissed him softly.

Before he could even reply, a huge explosion of laughter came from the door, thus causing them both to whirl around in absolute horror. There, standing before them, were both Spike and Faye, clutching at their sides and practically rolling with mirth.

"Kiss me, Jet!", Spike mimicked, making a kissy face and batting his lashes, thus causing Faye to giggle furiously. "Ooh, Rayne, gimme some sugar!"

"I looove you, Jetty!", the vixen added, giving them both a googly-eyed look. "I love you, too, Rayney-Wayney!"

"Oh, that is it! You two are both DEAD!", Rayne roared, heading straight for Spike. She pounced on him, and aimed a punch for his big fluffy head.

Luckily for him she missed, hitting the wall, instead. Laughing, Spike took off as Faye followed suit, both grinning like fools as they left both a terribly disgruntled Rayne and a furiously embarrassed Jet in the dust.

"Jet...Let's go kill them..Shall we?" Before Jet could answer, Rayne took off, shouting obscenities.

Smirking, Jet placed a hand over his face, then chuckled. "Oh, well..."

------------------One Hour Later-------------------------

Spike winced as Jet sewed his gunshot wound closed. He muttered to Rayne, "I don't know why you had to shoot me. Again."

Rayne sneered. "That's what you get, Spikey."

"I'm just disappointed that I didn't have the honors", Evelyn quipped from behind, leaning against the tacky yellow couch as she continued to take immense pleasure in watching the balding man stitch up his comrade. "Besides," she added," Rayne completely missed her target. I would've shot you in the balls."

Faye laughed, continuing to file her nails. She only had two scratches on her leg, which Rayne had apologized for.

"I don't see why Faye didn't get hurt at all...she teased you, too." Spike pouted, and Rayne let out a snort.

"She's a woman. We have to watch out for each other. And be happy I didn't fire a round into your balls, like Evelyn woulda done." Rayne winked at her friend.

Spike snorted, only to let out a tremendous howl once Jet tightened the knot to his stitches. "Jesus, Jet!", he swore, "don't tug so freaking hard!"

Sending the mossy-haired cowboy an apologetic glance, the balding man returned rather crossly, "Well if you hadn't moved, you'd be fine right now, so quit your belly-aching!"

"Speaking of belly-aching", Evelyn suddenly chimed in, "when are Spike and Faye going to sleep together?"

Faye blushed a bright magenta, and began to splutter, "W-what the hell is wrong with you?"

Julia's cross voice rang out behind Evelyn, "Yes, just what the hell is wrong with you?"

The blonde rolled her eyes, returning sarcastically, "Well, if it isn't Miss On-the-Rag." When all Julia could do was gape in absolute disbelief, she continued, "What I meant was, those two are always at one another's throats so, from what I've gathered from my own personal love life, much sexual tension is afoot. I merely thought that it would do them both a lot of good if they had a little 'get-it-out-in-the-open' screw. Wouldn't you agree, Jules?"

Rayne snorted, her laughter barely contained. "Ooooh..."

Julia, on the other hand, did not appeared to be the slightest bit amused, and neither did Spike, for that matter. He was turning all sorts of different shades of red, not to mention his bottom lip was quivering with an emotion that could not quite yet be deciphered.

"What is wrong with you?", Julia repeated dumbly in a hiss barely above a whisper, her cold blue eyes only turning more subzero with each passing second. "How dare you suggest such a thing! Spike and I are in love!"

Rayne stood up and stretched. "Well, we'd best be leaving. A reaaal bitch fit is about to begin!" Rayne motioned for Jet to follow her out of the room.

The balding man appeared to be faintly engrossed, yet nonetheless managed to pull himself away, Evelyn calling after him, "What, no popcorn, old man? I thought for sure that you were about to at least cook a TV dinner!"

Jet blushed, yet said nothing.

"Shove it, Evelyn!" Rayne yelled, and continued to walk away.

The blonde, however, wasn't the slightest bit phased. Turning her attention back to Julia, she urged venomously, "C'mon, slut...why don't you go ahead and ask your precious lover whom he'd rather lay? You...or Miss Valentine?"

Julia let out an indignant snort, only to exclaim hotly in response, "Spike would never touch that dirty tramp! Isn't that right, honey?"

Spike looked around, then sighed. Either way he answered, he was going to be killed. He opted to stay silent for the sake of his life.

When he didn't reply, however, this only infuriated Julia even further. "You!", she barked, pointing toward Faye with a trembling finger, "You are the cause of all this! What have you done to my Spikey-poo?"

Faye suddenly burst out laughing, falling onto the floor and holding her sides."Spi-Spikey-poo? That's worse than what Ed could come up with!" She continued to hold her sides, one laugh after another coming out.

"Oh!", Julia exclaimed, by now pink in the face, "you-you shut up! Now!" She stamped her foot.

Evelyn, meanwhile, took all of this in in utmost amusement, nudging Spike in the ribs before questioning appraisingly into his ear, "Wow, all of this attention over you? Who woulda thunk it?"

"I have you know that all women like me", the cowboy returned haughtily in response, sending a slight glare in her direction. "Everyone but you, yet I'm not complaining."

The blonde grinned. "Well great! We're in agreement, then! I wouldn't touch you with an STD-infested eight and a half foot pole!"

Spike grinned back just as Ed dropped down onto his head. "Spikey-Poo, Spikey-Poo, stuck his head in nasty doo-doo!"

Sighing, the mossy-haired young man pushed the kid off, muttering, "Get lost, Ed...I'm in the middle of watching a cat fight."

"Ooh, cat-cat meow-meow hiss?", the redhead questioned, blithely clapping her hands in response. "Can Ed watch, too?"

"Suuure, why not?", Spike returned dryly, propping his chin on his fist as his gaze drifted back to Julia and Faye. "I won't say who will win, cuz if I'm wrong, I'm a dead man. Hell, if I'm right, I'm a dead man."

"Ed! Ed, c'mere!" Rayne called over to the redhead, only to then stick her head in the room. "Holy shit, Ed shouldn't be watching this!", she exclaimed, her interest secretly peaked by the fighting girls.

Evelyn shrugged. "Maybe it'll toughen the kid up...so she'll be more like me."

"Ugh, you're right, Rayne...get her out of here", Spike suddenly chimed in, smirking once the blonde gave him a vicious punch in the arm.

"I should", the blue-haired woman agreed. "Hmm...Ed, if you come with me, I'll bake you some yummy chocolate chip cookies!" Rayne bribed, a sweetness in her voice that she saved for Jet and Edward only.

"Ohh boy, alright, Ed will help you all day, all night!", the redhead chortled erratically in response, immediately diving off of the couch cushions and somersaulting toward Rayne before another word could be said.

Blinking, Spike stared down at the empty space that had only moments before been occupied, then shrugged it off before turning his attention back toward the unfolding battle site before him.

"He's mine!", Julia screamed, grabbing Faye by the hair before giving her a good shake. "I found him first!"

"Agh! Let go, you bitch!" Faye kicked forward, hitting Julia in the thigh.

"Ow! You stupid ho!", the blonde screeched, giving her a rough push that caused the vixen to hit the floor with a dull 'thud'.

"Ouch", Evelyn commented from the sidelines, handing Spike something that she had retrieved from her pocket. "M&Ms?"

"Please", he agreed, never taking his eyes from the sight before him as he reached out to take some of the treats.

Faye kicked out yet again, this time catching one of Julia's heels and tripping her as well. She let out an almighty chuckle when the blonde landed flat on her face.

"Stupid bitch! Pulling my hair is the worst thing you could do!", Faye stood up and bellowed, only to start kicking Julia in the side.

Deciding that this had gone on long enough, Spike suddenly leapt off of the couch and seized Faye from behind, his hands accidentally straying down to two soft places where his hands shouldn't have been.

Oops...

Faye stopped immediately and slumped forward.

She had fainted.

At first Spike's ego told him that the vixen had loved his accidental touch so much that she had possibly orgasmed and then fainted, yet his more practical sense immediately realized that it was just the latter.

Cursing, he lifted her up into his arms, urging, "Quickly, Julia...help me get Faye into her room!"

"Ha! In your dreams! That minx hurt me, yet you're more concerned with her well-being? Unbelievable!", the blonde growled, angrily dusting herself off as she stood up and to her feet.

"No questions! She might have a freaking concussion because of that fall she took! I'll take care of you later", Spike returned coolly. "But if you won't help, maybe Evelyn will?", he added, only to grin over at her with an almost pleading look.

"Sure, why not?", the blonde assassin agreed, crumpling up her now empty M&Ms wrapper before tossing it over in front of Julia's feet. "Take care, Jules...I've got some 'community service' to attend to."

Glaring after the trio as they headed toward Faye's room, Julia merely hung back with her fists shaking at her sides, her left eye twitching ever-so-slightly. "Mark my words, Faye Valentine, this is the last time that you will get the best of me, because next time I won't be so merciful!"
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