AN: This was inspired by Utada Hikaru's Dareka no negai ga kanau koro.
Disclaimer: The HP world belongs to JK Rowling and whoever she works for, not me. But u already knew that, didn't u.
Warnings: OOC, first person perspective, angst, flashbacks!
I am alone now…
"They're coming! We can't stay here!"
The silence around me is mocking, heavy against my ears as I reminisce about happier times. The walls are grey and lacking any life, the shadows lick at my feet as my numb fingers play with the rough blanket surrounding my shivering shoulders.
It seems I'm always cold without the warmth you used to unknowingly share with me. My heart is bear and frozen now.
"Do you think that we'll always be together?"
"I'm sure we will." A slow smile spread.
Where are you? Are you happy now?
Have you found another to… love?
I remember telling you a long time ago, "All I need is today," but that isn't the case anymore. I need forever.
"I love you."
"Why?" The voice was desperate and doubtful at the same time. "How can you love me?"
"I just do."
He shook his head. "No, I can't believe that."
You disappeared, without a note, without a goodbye. Did you love me at all? Or was I just some pawn in your great scheme?
"Come with me, we'll find a new life, we'll survive this war together!" A shaking hand was extended as he hovered above.
"I can't just leave! You know I can't!"
His eyes slowly widened, tears beginning to rise. "I can't stay – please – come with me. I don't want to leave you!"
My own tears fall. "Why can't you be happy with me? Why can't you stay!"
"Everyone asks too much of me." He slowly pulls away. "I can't take the pressure anymore."
Sometimes I wonder if you asked me to run away with you on purpose, to see me break. You knew I wouldn't follow, that I couldn't. I had too many responsibilities left here. Too many that wanted me to continue along the path set out for me.
Am I being selfish, wishing you had stayed?
"I love you."
I tried to keep you happy. I wanted to be the only one that you needed to be happy. A useless dream, I should have known I couldn't keep you caged like a bird, no matter how much I wished it.
Not all wishes can be granted, I've realized that.
"Will we have forever?"
"I'll give you forever and more."
Everything around me is falling apart without you…
"Don't leave me!"
My shivering increases, my fingertips have chilled, while goose bumps scatter across my forearms and up my shoulders.
Voldemort was destroyed – it seems like so long ago now – the battle was horrific and bloody, so many died that day. Dumbledore was the one to cast the killing blow. Imagine that – he had put so much faith in one little boy – when all along he could have taken care of his own mess. You wouldn't know though, after all, you weren't there.
I searched for you after that day, with some hope that you could be found. Useless…
"Goodbye."
I have nightmares about your death, whether my eyes are open or closed. I hear screams drowning out my own whenever I cry.
Why won't you rescue me from this pain? When will I be freed from your hold, from your everlasting presence?
"Wait for me."
The sound of a scuffed shoe has me turning to my left, squinting into the surrounding gloom that is the norm. My heart quickens as I wait for the stranger to make their presence known, I haven't been in another's presence since… well, since I was taken.
The face I see is not what I was expecting though, my heart crashes in my chest, blood roars in my ears as my eyes widen in fear. Why are you doing this to me?
It's you, after so long… you've come back.
You sit there – on the balls of your feet – staring at me, through me. Everything looks the same, your hair, those blasted eyes. Everything that I hated and loved about you is now staring me in the face.
"So…" The roughened voice surprises me, you fidget nervously. "Azkaban huh?"
My eyes narrow. "Not everyone hid themselves away." I murmur, my own voice is whispery thin from lack of use over the years. "Consequences of actions needed to be paid in full." I was their scapegoat – I paid for their sins – the reason I'm stuck here.
"Why?" You ask, eyes pleading.
"Would you die for me?"
"Yes."
The whisper makes his words all the more powerful. "Would you live?"
I glance down at my covered arm and then lock eyes with my nightmare, my savior, my torture. You know why.
"I did it to live." I reply, stabbing deeply with your own words as my weapon. "You left me to survive on my own and this was the only way I knew how."
"Draco…"
My eyes pinch close painfully. "Why did you come back?" I hiss past clenched teeth. "After all this time, why must you torture me like this?" I can't love you anymore; I hold too much darkness in my soul now.
You reach out your hand. "I can help you…"
"No!" I snap, eyes wide now. "No, you can't, it's too late, for everything." I feel my chest squeezing painfully at the truth. I'm too far gone, lost.
"I promise Harry, I'll do anything to make sure you live."
Harry Potter, once my lover and source of strength, I must let you go now. A tiny sigh escapes my chapped lips, tears boil beneath my eyelids. No matter how much it hurts, you have to go on without me.
"Please, leave me now." I whisper.
You seem lost, confused as to why this is going downward instead of towards the happy ending you had hoped for. "Draco, why don't you – "
"Go Potter!" I snap, breath hitching as I struggle to hold back my tears. I can't do this. "Just go…"
My head remains bowed, my knees supporting my arms and the tearful face I've buried within them. Just go, please.
There is only silence, until finally – finally – I hear a muffled sob and the rustle of clothing against the stone floor. I remain tense, slowly peeking out of the sliver my arms have made.
I watch as you leave me again.
"Goodbye."
And this time it hurts so much more.
Your shoulders are hunched as you walk away, wiping at your tears. I smear my own bitter tears across my flushed cheeks and push up my sleeve, staring down at my bare forearm.
I didn't do it Harry – I didn't take the Mark – I would never betray you.
Slowly I look up and watch your retreating figure as I prepare myself for a lifetime of nightmares. "Goodbye Harry." I whisper, releasing your heart from my hold forever.
I always loved you.
AN: Zoomi mentioned the confusion u might have with the perspective. U might have thought it was Harry, I wrote it that way to trick u, in the warning I said OOC! Well I hope u enjoyed it despite any confusion, thank u for reading! Thank u lovely betas!
-Red