A/n: So, If anyone is familiar with the book Flowers For Algernon then you know the basic idea here and will understand the horrible grammar and spelling mistakes. It was as painful to write as it prolly is to read, I assure you.
DISCLAIMER: Nyquil causes hallucinations, but I still don't think I own Zim. Sucks.
Goldfish Don't Bounce
PART TWO: Gir.
DATE: 45.66784.246 SIT
pig told me that master thinx im stupid. I told him that he was being sily and that masters masters sayd that im advansed wich I lookd up and meens that im beter then most SIRS. pig still sayd that master thinx that im bad the way i am cos i like tacos and rolllin around in the dert. i told him that tacos are yumy and that master luvs me how i am and that pig was sily cos he likes rollin in the dert to.
DATE: 45.66784.247 SIT
maybe pig was rite about master thinkin im stupid. he came up to me today and told me he was goin to upgrade my inteligense chip to make me smarter. he sayd that i will help him on his mishin beter if I culd focus on it and not run off and play with pig so much. i told him that it was fun to play with pig and he told me that we wernt heer for fun and that it wuld make him hapy if i was smarter. i told him ok cos i want him to be hapy but i want to play with pig and eat tacos to. if i cant do that i will be sad bit its ok cos i will be more helpful and that will make me hapy to.
DATE: 45.66784.248 SIT
master gave me lots of tests today. i must have faild them becuz he lookd mad all the time. he told me that i need to stop being distraktd by things. he took me into the hologram room and made me chuz between fitein the big hed boy and eatin hot dogs. i kept eatin dogs becuz theyr yumy and i like the big hed boy. i dont want to fite him. master yeld at me and i told him that him and the big hed boy shud be frendz cos maybe he wuld help cos the humans are meen to him and he shudnt be nise to peeple who are meen. master yeld at me and told me to go play with pig and we wud finish this tomarow. i waz sory that i made master mad so i made him a cupcake insted of playin with pig. he sayd that it waz ok and that soon i wud be fixd and then he wud be hapy. i want him to be hapy. i hope i am fixd soon.
DATE: 45.66784.249 SIT
Master gave me the furst of my upgrades today. He sayd that he lernd his lesin last time he tried to fix me and will do it slow this time so I dont break more. He ran anuther test and thiz time I only ate the hot dogz half the time and Master waz still angry but not as much as he was yesturday. That made me hapy. He sayd he waz going to reward me and so we went to the parc and I got to run around and play with the humans. I ate one humans frisbea and he got mad and then cried which made me sad but my Master laughd and laughd so I guess thats a gud thing. I told Pig that be being smarter wuld be gud.
DATE: 45.66784.252 SIT
Another upgrade, today. Master had to wait a few dayz before giving me anuther one because the big heded boy came over and tried to get into the base again. I reely don't understand why the two of them have to fite all the time. I know that we have a mishin and that Master and me are suposed to be taking over the erth and destroying the humans, but the big heded boy is a good human. I like him and his scary sister. She dances with me and plays games with me and that makes me hapy. I wish my Master and the big heded boy would be hapy. As much as Master says that he hates the big heded boy, I think that he would be sad if they stoped playing together, that's why they never reely hert each other that bad.
DATE: 45.66784.258 SIT
The final upgrade was completed this afternoon. My master had sent me out on an information retrieval mission this afternoon and, as I have done before, I traveled to the local library and uploaded as much information that I could (although this time I did so without destroying any property and jeopardizing the mission, thankfully). Master was very pleased with my findings and my progress and he offered to take me to the park again as a reward, but I declined because there is still so much to do. Many of the other SIRS' Masters have already fulfilled their mission and yet my Master and I have barely even begun. There are times when I wonder if he really even wants to take over this planet—not that I blame him. As primitive as the creatures that inhabit this place are, they are still so…complex and interesting and…resilient. With everything that has occurred throughout the history of this world, you would think that all life would have been destroyed by now, but somehow these creatures find a way. It's very unnerving. I must learn more.
DATE: 45.66784.264 SIT
Research completed. Conclusion: with the way that the humans currently live, they shall wipe themselves out in exactly 138.35 earth years. To the humans, with their limited life spans, this is an eternity, but for my master it would seem like nothing, seeing as how one Irk year encompasses 80 of the Earth's. I informed Master of this and he seemed both excited and strangely bothered by the information. Again I wonder if he is entirely focused on the mission at hand, and again, I do not blame him if he is less than adamant. He has decided, however, to use the information to the advantage of the mission, and I have created the records needed for him to go into the field of Politics. His run for Skool presidency has made him familiar with the process and using the information gathered then, I have devised a fool proof plan rig the upcoming election in President Land in his favor. Using this position of power, he will put forth the proper chain of events to expedite the human's natural extinction at their own hands.
Post note: Pig says it I'm not "fun" anymore, since I was fixed.
DATE: 45.66784.279 SIT
The Master's plan has been set in motion with very little problem. Subject Dib made an attempt at infiltrating the base. He was stopped. Master was pleesed and rewarded me. However, I dont remember what i did to deserve the reward. There seems to be a gap in my memory records from a short time after Subject Dib entered the premises until hours after he was ejected. Perhaps a glitch in my mainframe? I shall run a diagnostic.
Post note: i miss pig.
DATE: 45.66784.285 SIT
There is a problem with the upgrades. It seems my mainframe is not as "advanced" as my master's leaders would have liked him to think. It is not fit to handle the upgraded programming my master has given me.
Conclusion: complete reversion.
Timeframe: unknown.
DATE: 45.66784.286 SIT
attempt made to inform Master of reversion process. He told me his upgrade was flawless. Refused to acknowlage diagnostic report. Conclusion: master's confidence is too high.
He intrusted me with the virus disk created to turn the election results in his favor. In erth five days time, i must fly to President Land and uplink to its central computer. Using the disk I will upload the virus and falsified information, putting the plan into motion. This is a large responsibility. i hope that i dont lose my intelligense in that time.
DATE: 45.66784.289 SIT
me and pig at waffles today. They were yummy. master told me that tomorrow we will go to President land to prepare the final steps of the plan. He will make his final campain speech and i will give the computer a cold. i dont want to make the computer sick, tho. i dont like being sick. maybe i will bring the computer some waffles.
DATE: 45.66784.290 SIT
president land is pretty. lots of people. they think im cute and give me candy. i like candy. master is excited about the plan. he gave a speech today to the humans. they cheered and cheered and liked him. He was hapy. I tell him maybe i dont have to give the computer a cold cos the humins like him so much and he told me that nothing can ruin his chance for world domination. dib came to president land too and tried to yell at master during his speech, but the police people took him away. he was sad. tomorrow I have to talk to the computer. I like making new friendz.
DATE: 45.66784.291 SIT
i found a shiny silver cookie in my hed so i ate it. it tasted like plastic. i like plastic. i talked to the computer. it was nice. i wish i had another cookie. shiny plastic tasting cookies are gud.
DATE: 45.66784.292 SIT
master didnt win the elekshun. hes sad. the big heded boy laffed. master yeled at me and told me I mesed up. that made me cry but then he said something about listening to me before and he let me play with piggy instead of yelling more. i like pig. hes my friend.
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A/n: And so, after over a year, I finally update this story. I had written a good chunk of this part when I put up Gaz's part, and then just got distracted and didn't finish it. Finishing something started so long ago feels weird and I hope it didn't mess up the flow at all. I don't like this part as much as I do the first one, but the last two, whenever I have the time to get to them, should be back up to par.