Rabb Home
Late June 2002
Mac had never been more thankful to sit in her own chair, in her own living room, in her own house, with her own husband, holding her own baby.
She and Harm had nearly had the closest thing to an all-out, blow-up fight on the flights home, but Mac had made up her mind. Now she just had to convince the Admiral the same way she'd convinced Harm.
Mac woke up this morning pretty much the same way she'd fallen asleep. Sprawled on the sofa, with Harm wrapped closely around her, and their son nuzzled snugly under her chin.
She didn't want to leave this morning. At the moment, she was pretty darn sure she never wanted to leave the house again, but she knew that wasn't very rational. Forcing herself to get up and move about, slowly, she and Harm fell into their usual morning routine of old, and within the hour all were on their way to their respective workplaces. Except, of course, for Mathew who would be spending his day at Kinder Kountry.
JAG HQ
0900 hours
"He's ready to see you, Colonel," Tiner pointed to the closed door.
"Thanks, Tiner." Mac knocked lightly at the ominous wooden door.
"Enter." Waiting for Mac to move closer to the desk, "At ease. You wanted to see me?"
"Yes, sir. I wanted to give you this." Mac stretched her hand forth, a single sheet of paper held out to the Admiral.
"I was afraid something like this might happen." He didn't need to read it to know what it was, but he accepted the paper anyway. "You're sure about this?" AJ asked, giving the page a cursory glance.
"Yes, sir. Very."
"I heard there were some rough moments out there. You know, Colonel, just about any JAG lawyer would be willing to testify that what you've recently been through is about as frequent an occurrence as snowfall in Miami."
"I know, sir. Commander Rabb and I have discussed this at length. Permission to speak freely, sir?"
"Of course, Mac."
"Sir, I love the Marine Corps and all it's done for me. I owe the Corps my life. But the days of Marine first and lawyer second are over. I'm more than a Marine, and I need to be home teaching a very beautiful little boy all the wonderful things there are in life, and maybe in the Marine Corps," Mac smiled softly. "I need to be with him as much as he needs me. I want to enjoy my home, my family, my husband, and maybe someday my career, but until the day I die, I will from now on always be a mother first, Marine second, and a lawyer third, sir."
"You realize this is going to take some time to process. I know you have time coming on the books…."
"That won't be necessary, sir. I'm perfectly willing to finish out whatever time it takes to run this through the channels and fill the empty billet, sir."
"Very well, Colonel. I'll take care of it right away." AJ nodded at Mac in a casual dismissal. At least she hadn't given him another 'spread my wings' speech. Looking up after she'd closed the door behind her, he knew he was going to miss her. Things had never been quite the same after Rabb left. A certain fire was gone from the office. Of course, that could be because there wasn't another attorney in his right mind with enough nerve to fire a weapon in a courtroom. With Mac gone too, things were definitely going to be different. Maybe it was time he considered moving on.
The next few months went smoothly. It had indeed taken over three months to process Mac's out papers. Harm and the Admiral had tried to convince her to accept a reserve slot as an individual manning augmentee judge, but Mac wanted none of it. Even though there would always be the risk that she would be recalled while in inactive reserve, Mac wanted to fly as low as possible under the military's radar. If it wasn't required to be on inactive reserve for five years after resigning her commission, she would have preferred to not even do that. She was going to do her damnedest to make sure that her son would always have at least one parent around.
May 6th
2003
Rabb home
1730
All was going well in the Rabb household. Harm was keeping busy at the Pentagon and very thankful that none of his responsibilities this past year had required him to return to the Middle East. The longest jaunt since Afghanistan had been three days at MacDill.
Mac had fallen into the role of full-time mom with unexpected ease. Of course, almost being blown up in a minefield, then caught in an air strike, and then threatened by a nuclear missile, had an interesting way of making you appreciate the smallest things in life, in this case, a precocious sixteen month old boy. It boggled her mind why she had ever thought staying home would be boring.
Mac did manage to stay informed of all the comings and goings at JAG. Back in November, Harriet had reported that Lt. Singer had been caught having an affair with, of all people, Commander Lindsey. Apparently Singer had thought he was her back door to the SecNav. Unfortunately for Lauren, having a pregnancy diagnosed at your annual physical wasn't part of her plan, and the new SecNav had little patience for Lindsey. When Lindsey tried to deflect the attention back on JAG, the newly appointed Secretary Sheffield threw Lindsey out on his proverbial ear. Oddly enough, Mrs. Lindsey divorced Ted, and adopted Lauren's baby. Lauren requested a transfer. No one was sure where she had been sent, but the office pool was fairly certain it wasn't Italy.
The other big surprise was Jen. Practically the moment she set foot on dry land, she and Sergei eloped. At first Harm had been concerned they were rushing things, but by the time Christmas had come and gone, he was convinced that those two were most definitely made for each other.
"Where do you think you're off to now, young man?" Mac chased her son to the front door.
"Din don," Mat announced proudly, landing against the door with a thud.
Pulling her son onto her hip, Mac couldn't have been more startled by the man at the door if she'd had a visit from Elvis.
"What are you doing here?"
"Nice to see you too, Sarah. Going to invite me in or are you just going to stand there gaping at me like a fish?"
"Sorry, Clay. Come on in." Slowly, Mac closed the door behind her. She and Harm hadn't seen or heard from Webb since last year in Afghanistan. The hackles on the back of her neck warned her that whatever he wanted, it couldn't be good.
Rabb home
One hour later
Harm pulled into the driveway. Who did they know that drove a silver Jaguar? Pulling his briefcase from the passenger seat, Harm walked towards the front door, curiously eyeing the out of place automobile.
Turning the key in the lock, Harm was struck by the loudness of Mac's voice as he swung the door open.
"Paraguay! Are you out of your mind? First of all, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not pregnant!"
Harm's eyes almost popped out of his head. What was she yelling about? Dropping his satchel where he stood instead of placing it in its usual place on the table across the entryway, Harm hurried into the living room in three long strides.
"Secondly, I'm not a spook! Hell, technically, I'm not even a Marine anymore!"
"Once a Marine, always a Marine." Webb shrugged nonchalantly.
Without knowing what Webb had previously suggested to have invoked Mac's wrath complete with fury and spitfire, even Harm knew Webb's last comment was probably the most foolish thing to have said to an obviously already irate Marine. Before Harm could get within grabbing distance of her, Mac slugged Webb so hard that he flipped over the back of the sofa and landed flat on his back.
"What are you, taking lessons from AJ?" Webb held his hand up to his now bleeding nose.
"Boo boo?" Mat asked from his playpen across the room.
"Yes, Mathew." Hiding an amused smirk, Harm walked over to retrieve his son, deciding that whatever was going on, Mac was not in need of his assistance.
Chapter 20Admiral Chegwidden's
home
September 2003
"You really have no idea what this is all about?" Harm asked as they pulled into the driveway.
"No. If Jen has any idea, she's not telling, and Harriet and Bud are as much in the dark as the rest of us," Mac shrugged.
"This reminds me of the first time the Admiral invited us to an informal dinner at his home. Remember?" Harm held out his hand to help Mac from the car.
"How could I forget? Francesca." She wasn't even going to mention the havoc Coster had created in her life at that time.
"You don't suppose this has something to do with Francesca again?"
"Why would you think that?" Mac followed Harm up the porch steps.
"Well, he's only had two real parties that we've been invited to. One was to introduce us to his daughter, and the other was an engagement party for Carolyn and Mic." Harm knocked lightly at the door.
"Yeah, but we knew about the engagement. As a matter of…" Mac froze mid sentence when the door opened.
"Come in," the sultry, accented voice directed.
"What a pleasure to see you again," Harm offered.
"Yes." Mac nodded, still overcome with shock to find Marcella Paretti standing at the Admiral's door.
"It is always nice to see AJ's good friends. Please, come in." Marcella stepped out of the way, ready to close the door behind them, when she saw Bud and Harriet coming up the walk. "Please go ahead. I'm sure AJ will get you something to drink," Marcella waved at Harm and Mac while waiting for the next wave of guests.
"Well, you were right about the surprise part," Mac leaned over and whispered out of the side of her mouth at Harm. Neither of them had heard anything further about Marcella Paretti since her return to Italy shortly after Mic and Carolyn's engagement party.
"Something tells me the surprises have only just begun," Harm chuckled quietly, walking over to where Jen and Sergei were standing.
"So, was Mrs. Paretti the surprise?" Harm looked Jen straight in the eye.
"I could only think so, sir." Jen answered, shrugging one shoulder.
"Jen. It's been almost a year since you married my brother. You know the drill, out of uniform it's Harm. What are you going to do, have junior there learn to call me 'Uncle Sir'?" Harm lightly laid his hand on Jen's slightly rounded tummy.
"No, sir. I mean, Harm," Jen giggled. Just into her fourth month, this was her first time in public with maternity clothes.
"You're looking lovely," Mac added.
"Well, of course. My brother and I have excellent taste. Only the most beautiful women in the world for us." Sergei squeezed his hold on Jen's shoulder.
"Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention please." Admiral Chegwidden stood to one end of the room. All eyes turned to him.
"I'm aware of all the speculation regarding this evening's little gathering. I've heard many theories. All very interesting, and all correct." AJ smiled at the dull hum that filled the room.
"I have decided the time has come for me to retire." Raising his hands to quiet the louder buzz that ensued. "Please. A confluence of many things has led to my decision, but let me be clear; I am not leaving anything. I am completing one experience, and starting another." AJ looked around at all the quietly stunned faces.
"Specifically, this summer, the one true love of my life has agreed to be my wife, again." Extending his hand in Marcella's direction, AJ drew her into him, affectionately clutching her shoulder. "And you're all invited."
"Here, here!" The room roared with congratulations. One by one, all the guests made their way to the smiling couple, the pain of AJ's impending departure lessened only by the happier news of the upcoming wedding.
"It looks like we get both an engagement and a surprise," Harm whispered in Mac's direction.
"I guess Francesca knew what she was doing in Naples," Mac chuckled softly.
"I didn't want to say this in public," AJ's voice echoed over Jen's shoulder, as the small group shifted to make room for him and Marcella.
"But I've already delivered two babies in that office and I'm just not up to a third," AJ laughed whole heartedly.
"No, sir. I'm not sure I'd be up to it either, sir," Jen grinned bashfully.
"Colonel, I understand you're involved with some very worthwhile volunteer work?" AJ looked over at Mac, eager to redirect the evening's topic of conversation away from himself.
"Yes, sir. With Mat in mother's day out three days a week, it gives me a little extra time. I've been helping and advising over at the battered women's shelter."
"A very worthwhile cause," Carolyn Brumby commented, joining the group. "Maybe I could find a way to help too."
"I'm sure they'd be delighted. I don't really have much time, but I thought whatever I could do to save any woman from the Joe MacKenzies of this world had to be a good thing."
December 2004Throwing all the packages into the back of the SUV, Mac shook her head. Life was certainly taking an interesting turn from its original course. Settling comfortably into the front seat, she considered her recent Christmas list, and all the people that had come and gone in her life.
She had not seen hide nor hair of her older self since that odd conversation on the carrier after the tribunal. Not since that odd conversation about choices and opportunities. Perhaps that was adding to the more frequently nagging sense that things were coming to an end. Time seemed to be passing by faster and faster. It had been too long since she'd seen the old general. The birth of Emily Zhukov was already a distant memory, as was the Admiral and Marcella's wedding at Annapolis in May.
Turning the key in the ignition, she pondered what it was in all worlds that attracted her and Harm to porches. There had been no need for serious discussions about death and disease at the Admiral's reception. Heck, Webb had even come to the wedding with a tall, slender blonde who only spoke German. No, despite the pleasant circumstances, she and Harm spent an unusual amount of time sitting side by side on the porch, not really talking about anything, just enjoying being there together.
Pulling cautiously out of the parking lot, Mac was very thankful she'd had the good sense to leave Mat at home with Harm while she finished her last minute shopping. The snow storm had really started to come down now, making driving home a challenge.
Focusing on the road ahead, Mac tried to ignore the urge to race home. An odd feeling of needing to hurry back to her waiting family had been tugging at her most of the day. In an attempt to shake the overwhelming sense of urgency to rush home to her family, as though for some odd reason her family needed her more now than ever, she started running the plans for the evening through her mind.
Sergei and Jen were joining them for dinner, and then they would all be joining the Roberts for dessert before making the trip to visit Harm's dad at the wall. If this weather kept up, they wouldn't be able to take the children with them.
Flipping her phone open, Mac hit speed dial for Harm's number.
"Rabb."
"Hey, handsome,"
"Mac. Where are you? The roads are starting to get treacherous. Want me to come get you?"
"In what? The 'vette? You know my vehicle is better equipped for snow. No, I'm on my way anyhow, I just need you to do me a favor."
"Name it."
"Get the roast out of the fridge. It's been marinating overnight and should be ready to go. Set it to slow cook at 250. That should get things started until…." Mac's jaw dropped as the wiper blade swiped away a layer of snow and an enormous tree appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the road.
"What the hell?" slipped out.
"Mac!" Harm cringed at the brief sound of screeching tires and bending metal before the profound silence of the dead phone hung thick in his ear.
Chapter 21
Everything was so dark. She hadn't remembered ever actually sleeping in this eternal dream, and now she was having a hard time cutting through the fog to open her eyes. Was that a voice?
"Mac? Can you hear me?"
That was definitely a voice, Harm's, and he sounded worried. That's right, the tree. She was on the phone with Harm when she hit the tree. Why were her eyelids so heavy? Forcing her eyes open just the slightest bit, Mac squinted quickly at the harsh light.
"Mac. Please wake up." Harm squeezed her hand. He'd been sitting here for days waiting for her to stir.
"Harrrmmm," she smiled weakly.
"Hey, beautiful. You had us all worried."
"Sorry. Didn't see the tree." Mac dropped her eyes shut again, not noticing the disturbed glare Harm shot the doctor, nor the doctor's casual shrug in response.
"Is it too bright? Want me to close the curtains?" Harm didn't wait for her to answer. He quickly scurried around the bed and closed the blinds and the drapes. "That better?" he asked from the window.
"Mm," Mac nodded. "I'm sorry about the car," she mumbled.
"What about the car?" Harm was trying very hard not to let her obvious confusion worry him.
Opening one eye, she watched Harm return to his previous place, and gently take her hand in his again. She also noticed a woman in a white coat at the foot of her bed holding her chart.
Forcing her other eye open, Mac had to blink a few times. She thought for sure her eyes were deceiving her. After all this time, her elder self was back, only this time instead of just observing, she was actually participating in Mac's life, her nose buried in the charts, scribbling frantically.
"So we're out of the woods?" Harm asked the doctor, obviously relieved now that Mac had opened her eyes.
"Looks like it. From here on it should be smooth sailing," the woman directed at Harm, still writing copiously.
"You can see her?" Mac turned to Harm stunned.
"Of course I can see her? What are you talking about?" Harm turned back to the doctor, a near panicked look on his face.
"Relax, Captain. A little disorientation when waking up isn't unusual." Walking up to the side of the bed, the doctor extended her hand to Mac's non-IV clad arm.
Mac lay open-mouthed, staring at the woman. What was her older self doing talking to real people?
"Mac, are you feeling okay?" Harm put his free hand on Mac's forehead.
Momentarily forgetting her confusion at the old general's very public presence, Mac managed to turn a sharp glare in Harm's direction.
"How would you feel after plowing into a tree?"
"What are you talking about?" Harm was failing miserably at hiding his concern.
"The accident." Mac turned from Harm to the old woman and back again.
"There wasn't any accident. You wouldn't wake up so Mat called Harriet and 911. Harriet called me, but I was already on my way back from Pax River. My quals ended early and I was in a hurry to get home."
"That's impossible. Mat's only three. He doesn't know how to call Harriet." Mac was suddenly developing a throbbing headache.
"Three? Mac, Mat's six." Harm looked up at the doctor, his eyes searching hers for answers.
"Tell me, who's the president of the United States?" the doctor asked Mac, a slow dip in her brow forming.
"Oh for heaven's sake. George Bush. I'm not crazy."
"What's today's date?" was her next question.
"December 24, 2004." Mac's frustration at the stupid questions turned to distress at the curious look Harm gave her.
"Honey, it's 2007, and it's April. Not December," Harm told her softly.
"Then I'm awake? The dream is over?" Mac's voice cracked ever so slightly. Dropping her head heavily on the pillow, she closed her eyes tightly, holding back the tears that threatened to overflow. She knew it was bound to happen. Eventually she would have to wake up and face a reality without the baby, the house, or the husband. They'd soon be nothing more than a faded dream. Wait, her mind did a double take. Opening her eyes suddenly, she turned in Harm's direction. Did he say Mat was six?
"What's the last thing you remember?" The doctor asked, her face showing more concern than she had only moments ago.
"Well, in my dream I was shopping Christmas Eve. Harm was home with Mat, and on the way home, I drove into a tree."
"That was three years ago, Mac. You walked away sore and bruised."
"What do you mean three years ago?" If her dream was over, why did she have a six year old son, and what was her older self still doing here? And if the dream wasn't over, what happened to the last three years?
"What was the last thing you remember before falling asleep?" the doctor interrupted.
"Oh. I was folding laundry, and watching an old movie. I was exhausted from watching the Roberts' twins…"
"You should have known better than to take on too much, Mrs. Rabb. You're doctor's report says this has been a high-risk pregnancy for you. Women who are eight months pregnant in your condition and at your age aren't supposed to be running around after her own children, never mind taking on two more. It's no wonder your blood pressure shot up."
"Eight months pregnant?" Mac's eyes were wide open now.
"You went into shock. They did an emergency c-section, but you've been unconscious for almost three days," Harm explained.
"And the baby?" Mac was extremely confused.
"Fine." Harm's smile grew bright for the first time since Mac had woken up. "Eight pounds, five ounces. She's beautiful."
Mac batted her eyes a few times. She was desperate to clear the thick fog that was crowding her brain. Slowly, it was starting to come back to her. The tests after the accident three years ago showed she was pregnant with their second child, Thomas. Harm's stint at the Pentagon paid off, he'd gotten noticed by the right mucky mucks and his next assignment was Squadron Commander on a carrier. Last spring he'd made Captain. She'd been on bed rest the better part of the last seven months because of a high risk….
"Oh, God. Where is she?" Mac's voice came out in a slight panic. "Is she okay? She's early."
"Shh shh, it's okay. She's fine. The nurse brings her in here whenever she's awake. We've been getting acquainted while you've been recovering," Harm reassured her.
"Harm. My dream wasn't a dream. It was my life flashing before my eyes."
"Mac, that cliché only happens when you're awake. Not when you're in a semi-comatose state."
"Bud does still have his leg?"
"What?" Harm curled his brow in confusion. Why wouldn't Bud have his leg?
"Sarah Roberts, she didn't die did she?" Mac's voice was bordering on panic and elation.
"Of course she didn't die." Harm was seriously considering ignoring the doctor and calling in a psychiatrist. Something wasn't right.
"Then I'm right. My life flashed before me. In very VIVID, BRIGHT, DETAIL," Mac enunciated.
"The only thing I don't get…" Mac turned and pointed her finger at the doctor. "Is you."
"Yes, well. I'm sorry. I should have introduced myself. I'm General McKenzie, Susan McKenzie. As you can see, we have at least two things in common, except I spell my name MCK, no A."
Mac's eyes flew open even wider than before. "S. McKenzie," she repeated quietly.
"That's right," Dr. McKenzie smiled.
"You should feel honored Mac. Dr. McKenzie here is the only doctor in the entire Corps," Harm announced, almost proudly.
"That's right. Marines don't have doctors. How…?" Mac looked back at the doctor.
"Long story," Dr Mckenzie laughed. I'll fill you in on all the gritty little details when you've had a little more rest."
"Rest? You said I've been sleeping for three days. I don't want to rest. I want to see my children," Mac insisted.
"Yes, but that was different. You need to get some rest and I'm sure Captain Rabb will be happy to bring the children by for you to see later."
Mac nodded in reluctant agreement before looking at the doctor thoughtfully, "If you'll excuse my forwardness, you could be me in twenty years."
"I know," Dr Mckenzie smiled proudly. "Your husband said the exact same thing to me the first day you came in. He even told you so before you went into surgery. He'd hoped you could hear him. Said it was a good sign that your older alter ego was in charge."
Now everything was making perfect sense. Except…
"Harm," Mac turned from the friendly doctor and looked over at her husband.
"Yes."
"If I hadn't gone after you in the elevator your last day at JAG, would you have come after me?
"Of course, Mac." Harm flashed his best 'dress whites and gold wings' smile. That was one road he had no intention of going down. "You know I would have." Eventually, he thought to himself.
"Mm," Mac smiled back. I wonder?
THE END.