Saruman stood before a circle of eldritch light. The glow came from the mithril inlaid in the marble floor. It had taken several years of labor by master dwarves to create the permanent warding set into the floor, but it had been well worth the wait.

As an apprentice, Saruman had hated drawing out the circle, down on his knees with different colored chalks staining fingers and robe. It was undignified, not to mention hard on his back. Now he didn't have to waste hours carefully scribing out the protections or worry about any blurring or erasing of the lines by some odd quirk of fate.

The wizard reined in his errant thoughts as the white light changed to a soft blue. The shift in hue meant that the connection between worlds had been made. Now he needed to finish the incantation to bring the mortal across.

As Saruman chanted, the light strengthened. By the apex of the incantation, he had closed his eyes against the brilliance. There was an echoing clap like thunder as the air inside the circle was displaced, and then the light dimmed to a faint aquamarine foxfire.

Standing within the glow, features bleached out by the soft blue light, was a young woman. She was dressed in very tight, absolutely scandalous, attire. The chemise, if that scrap even justified the name, ended somewhere around her navel. There were several inches of bared flesh between the hem and the leggings that hung off her hips. More of that odd script from the Orb was sprawled across a budding chest. As she turned, her face blank with wonder, the words glittered like gold dust. Saruman wondered briefly what it said, and why anyone would allow a scribe to write on one's breast.

"Oh mi-Gawd! It worked!" The blonde-haired young woman in the center of the circle came out of her amazed shock and squealed.

"Lower your voice, child." Saruman winced at the high pitch.

"I'm here and I'm gonna marry Legolas! I think a little sqeeing is called for." She paused for a moment, making the wizard hope that the girl had calmed.

He began to say, "That's better," when she continued where she had left off.

"Oh Gawd! I'm gonna marry Legolas! Squeeeeeee!" The screeching was accompanied by an odd little circle dance that alternated arm-pumping with some vaguely suggestive hip gyrations.

Would his eardrums survive the assault? Saruman stuffed his fingers in his ears, but it didn't seem to help much. He let loose a rather loud noise of his own, but in a much deeper octave.

"Silence!" Sarumanput all his skill into the command.

"Wow, grumpy much?" She stopped mid-dance and gave the wizard a disgruntled look.

"You have no idea," Grima muttered in agreement. It was the first thing this strangely dressed girl had said that made any sense. Perhaps the trauma of being transported across dimensions had damaged her brain?

"So where's Legolas?" The blonde had calmed down enough to do a quick scan of the room, eyes glancing over the old dude and the pasty guy in black.

"Did you really believe the universe had bent its laws just so you could moon over an elven prince who would have to give up his immortality to marry you?" Saruman's voice dripped with contempt.

"Well, duh! I'm here aren't I? Besides, how hard a choice can it be? Arwen gave up being an elf for Aragorn, and I'm LOADS cuter than he is." So saying, she flipped her blonde hair with one hand.

"I'm sure that will come as a great comfort to him when he is bent and withered with age." Saruman sneered.

"What-ever. Ignorant dork. Legolas and I will sail to Valinor and never get old. So there!" The girl actually stuck her tongue out at the wizard.

For a long moment Saruman was struck speechless by the rampant ignorance of the girl. Humans were forbidden to trod the Blessed Isle on pain of death. Only one Man had stepped foot on the Island's soil and survived. Earendil, the father of that damned Peredhil Elrond. Even then, he had not been allowed to return. Oh no, Elwing's husband had been given a choice, death or to eternally traverse the Heavens.

Not knowing which point to address first, and not sure he wanted to bother, Saruman decided to ignore the whole thing. Besides, educating this willfully ignorant child was not necessary. The Haradrim Lord who's Seraglio she entered wouldn't be concerned in the least with the state of her mind.

Instead of answering her, he began the ritual to end the sending. He had made modifications so that the girl would not go back. Saruman had based it on the spell for binding imps into service, so it should work. If it didn't, well, there were always more girls.

The blonde watched nervously as the wizard began to chant again. He wasn't sending her back was he? She'd just got here. She hadn't even seen so much as a pointy ear yet! She watched with trepidation as the circle flared brighter, wondering what was going on. From her end it had seemed like a sudden storm, clouds drawing in and lots of high wind, then a ball of lightning had coalesced around her. When it disappeared, she was here. "I don't wanna go back!"

If Saruman heard her, he gave no sign of it. When the incantation was finished, the mithril went dark, but the girl remained. He smiled, flushed with success. It had worked. He was one step closer to freeing himself of this ridiculous confinement. "Come forth young human, Grima will show you to your room. Follow him, go only where he takes you."

The blonde took a tentative step forward and met no resistance. Her face brightened as she walked out of the circle. She had done it. She was in Middle Earth. Now all she needed was her Leggy-poo, and everything would be perfect. She stopped next to the guy who definitely needed some sun and said, "You're taking me to Legolas right?"

"Uhhm, no…" Grima was at a loss as to how to deal with her. He had never really had much to do with girls, other than loving Eowyn from afar, and that wasn't likely to stand him in good stead now. No, females were still very much a mystery to him.

Blue eyes narrowed dangerously, "What do you mean, no?"

"Uh, I don't know where he is?" Grima offered. It was the truth. He didn't. It was also the only thing he could think of that would not make her any angrier with him.

Seeing him cringe away from her, the blonde decided he wasn't lying. She turned instead to the dude in white robes. He probably knew and just wasn't telling her to be difficult. She put one hand on her hip and poked Saruman in the chest with the other, "You tell me where Legolas is right now!"

Saruman smiled, a predatory show of teeth, "There is no Legolas waiting for you, you fool. I, Saruman, have captured you."

"Hah. Hah. Very funny. Now stop playing around and bring on the Elven Love God, we've got some serious snogging to catch up on." She stepped forward, intending to go looking for Legolas herself, but found herself stopped. She could not move.

Shocked by her sudden immobility, the young woman raised big blue eyes and really looked at the white robed wizard claiming to be Saruman. Ok, so he did kinda have the bushy eyebrows and long hair, and if Legolas was here than all the bad guys had to be too right? Right. Crap. Fear finally entered her face as she realized her situation.

. "The spell that brought you here has certain safeguards built into it. You must follow any orders that I give precisely. There is no room for disobedience. The enchantments were made to hold more pernicious creatures than Man." Saruman smiled at the look of horror on her face. "You begin to understand the truth of things, do you not?"

"Hmph. It doesn't matter. Legolas will save me." She muttered mutinously. She could still say what she wanted; she just couldn't leave without Grima. So far. She could get around her parents, how much harder could this be? She'd just have to put some effort into it. She'd blow this Popsicle stand, find Legolas, and live happily ever after.

"I doubt that very much." Saruman chuckled and watched as Wormtongue led the girl away.