Age of False Innocence

Chapter Five

Summary: Will finds himself in an uncomfortable position; he might just be falling in love.

You're holding on to your grudge.
Oh, it hurts to always have to be
Honest with the one that you love.

…

We're concentrating on falling apart.
We were contenders, now throwing the fights.
I just wanna believe.

Will's eyes shut instinctively as his hand flew in quick, rapid motions over the stirring in his pants. He glanced over to the younger man beside him, and sure enough, Jack was slumbering soundly next to him, his mouth slightly open and his braces glimmering in the moonlight. His eyes fluttered shut again before he could get too wrapped up in Jack's presence. He didn't want him to be there. He didn't want anybody there, and most certainly not sleeping in his bed.

He popped open the buttons to his jeans and swiftly slid them down past his knees, caressing the entrance to his boxers. A sigh escaped his lips, and even though Jack was fast asleep; Will couldn't help but nervously glimpse over and make perfectly sure he didn't hear.

Biting his bottom lip gently, he reached into the opening on the front of his boxers and held himself lightly in his hand. Curling his fingers over the length, he began running his hand the shaft, gasping as he took in an irritated breath. His eyelids pressed securely together, so much so that they began watering slightly. His mouth opened in a silent ecstasy, and all he could think about was the man sleeping next to him.

An intense wave of pleasure rippled through his body. As his hand moved, Will cold feel it growing warmer at his touch. The warmth traveled up his torso and he felt a foreign feeling erupt within him.

He could hear Jack's breathing. He could feel his chest moving rapidly up and down to the rhythm of his own strokes. Will moaned audibly as the exhalation became louder and louder. It took him a while to realize that it was not Jack's breathing that was accelerating, but his own.

Face it Will, you're nothing but a flaming homo, just like me. Don't be ashamed about it. It's something you should be proud of! You should love who you are. Jack's voice echoed throughout his mind. It wouldn't leave, and it kept growing louder and more brash. It isn't that bad. Guys are sooo much better than the women's, Will. You'll find out for yourself one day.

Will could still feel the warmth protruding from Jack's hand on his shoulder that one day. He was so fucking angry and scared, he didn't even acknowledge the fact that he got hard. Over a guy. And not just any guy; this was Jack. The one he didn't know, and didn't even want to know. He had just been some stupid kid who needed a place to stay because he had almost gotten killed. He was nothing to Will.

Yet here he was, next to this annoyingly flamboyant younger boy, touching himself like he never had before and doing so while thinking about how husky his voice grew when he whispered. How his hair gleamed under the dorm room lights after he got out of the shower. How his crystal blue eyes brightened every time he heard the voice of Kevin Bacon or his favorite Cher song over the radio.

He whimpered loudly and clutched the sheets of the bed constrictingly. His hand was now nothing more than a blur, and Will could feel the bed shaking mildly because of his breaths. Lifting his free hand to grasp the pillow behind him; he hissed pleasurably as his fingers gently brushed against Jack's soft hair. Though it was only a fleeting touch, his eyes closed with more vehemence than he ever could have imagined.

Jack stirred just a little bit next to him, but Will wouldn't have been able to control his orgasm if he was being paid to. He came violently, biting on his lip in order to keep from crying out. A whimper of delight escaped him, and his head rolled to the side. Will's shallow breaths perfectly matched Jack's, who was once again absolutely still on the opposite side of the mattress.

Tears he had been holding back for days began spilling onto his cheeks as he cradled the pillow in his arms. His pants and boxers were a mess, but that wasn't the reason he felt unclean. His only companion for the past month was innocently slumbering next to him while he was doing something he had always learned was wrong. He remembered his father telling him how he would make a women a wonderful bride one day. Now it all changed. Jack was right; he couldn't deny who he was any longer.

"I'm gay..." he muttered to himself as he kept crying. It was finally clear to him now. He knew what that feeling was every time Jack's hand came into contact with his body. He knew now what that tug on his heart was whenever he saw his younger friend with a guy. It wasn't because he was repulsed at the sight of two guys together.

It was jealousy.

Jack gave a little sigh and rolled over in his sleep, so that he was now facing Will. The light from outside the window displayed his face in a stream of moonlight. Will could see very clearly just how flawless his skin was. There was not a crease or blemish in sight, which was probably because he was so young. The scrapes from the accident seemed to have withered away, leaving porcelain skin in its wake. Will noticed how perfect and red his full lips were, and was very tempted to kiss the boy.

A bit hesitant at first, Will lowered his face towards Jacks. His eyes were still closed, and Will could hear the silent breathing of the teenager. His lips were positioned perfectly, as if he had planned for Will to kiss him in the middle of the night. Taking a deep breath, Will sobbed dryly, trying to do so softly so he didn't wake Jack. Their faces were close. They were so dangerously close.

Will felt a whole new feeling burst in his chest, and it caused him to draw back and bawl into his pillow.

I can't do it, dammit. I can't be gay! I just can't!

I'm not like Jack. I can't kiss another man. I don't know if I want to either. I'm just too fucking scared. I don't know if I'll always be like this or not. Maybe it's just a phase. I'll outgrow it, right? It's not like I'm in love with Jack. He doesn't care about me, and I don't care about him. He's just a kid staying with me until he can find his own place. His parents kicked him out and I'm doing him a favor. I'm not fucking him for Christ's sake! I don't have any feelings for him at all.

In the morning I'll be better. It'll be like nothing even happened. The phase will be over, and I'll go to Grace's parents house and meet them. Then we'll go off and get married. It's Grace I love; not this lunatic. I like girls. I love Grace.

Jack is nothing to me, and he never will be. Never.

Will reached under the bed and grabbed the box of tissues he kept under there. He cleaned his front up, and got off of the bed slowly to change into a new pair of pants.

Glancing up at the bed to get another glimpse of Jack, he was shocked to find that the boy was watching him with one eye open from his spot on the pillow. Will gasped loudly, and threw his soiled boxers into the garbage pail next to his desk. "Jesus Jack, you scared the shit out of me," he spoke awkwardly, not sure how much of his little show the teenager had seen.

Yawning and stretching his arms over his head, Jack squinted in the darkness. "Sorry. I felt you get off of the bed, and it woke me up."

"You're the lightest sleeper I've ever seen," he noted, sliding on a new pair of underpants as quickly as he could without Jack seeing anything. A wicked smile appeared on Jack's face.

"Oh. Did someone make a mess?"

Will rolled his eyes and tried his best to seem nonchalant. "Please. I just wanted something a little more comfortable on."

Jack smiled and shook his head, but didn't say anything. He lay back on the bed again and sighed happily. "Hey Will?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing today?"

Will stopped picking up his clothes from the floor and thought. "Nothing," he replied, resuming his cleaning. "Winter Break started awhile ago, so I'm free for a couple of weeks."

Jack's grin widened. "You mean you're mine for those weeks," he whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing. Do you want to go with me to the dentist today? I'm finally getting my braces off."

"Sure," Will said without thinking. He paused and sat down on the bed next to Jack. "Umm, Jack? You know what you said about me yesterday?"

Smiling, Jack put a finger to his chin and pretended to think. "Let's see...yesterday..hmm. No Will, I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about. What was it that I said?"

Aggravated, Will flopped onto the bed and covered himself with the sheets. "Never mind," he hissed, turning over to the side and away from Jack.

Jack did the same, and slipped his hands around Will's waist. "I know what you mean. That you were a big, flaming homo?" Will fidgeted a bit in the boy's arms, but didn't object to them.

"Yeah. I wouldn't put it in those terms, but yes."

"What about it?" Jack asked, his fingers tracing circles on Will's chest, making him shiver.

"You know it's not true, right? I mean, I do have a girlfriend, and I do love her. I can't be gay. And I don't know why anyone would say I was, because, well, I'm not."

They traveled back on bed, lying down together. Jack's chest was pressing against his back, and his mouth was just above his ear; he was whispering low, his fingers kneading at the soft cotton T-shirt Will was wearing.

"Ok Will," Jack said comfortably, almost as if he were about to fall asleep. "I get it. You're not gay." His hands traveled down Will's stomach. He pulled him closer, massaging his waist gently. Will closed his eyes and buried his face in his pillow.

"Jack..." he trailed, making a fist. Jack didn't answer, but moved his hands lower, kneading Will's pelvis softly. Will took in a breath and shut his eyes tighter. "Jack, what are you doing?"

His voice was monotonous. It wasn't as shaky or full of fear as he felt, and it had no emotion in it whatsoever. Jack still remained silent, but rested his head on Will's arm. His mouth was inches away from Will's ear, and Will could hear Jack's shallow breaths. Will made a little noise, not so much a moan, more of a gasp.

Jack's hands were warm, but they felt like ice against the blistering heat of Will's body. Will felt the elastic waistband of his boxers expand as Jack's hand slid under it. In that moment, Will felt something inside of him burst, and he jerked away.

"What are you doing?" he said more forcefully, causing Jack to jump. He eyes cast down to the floor. "Nothing. Sorry."

Jack turned to the wall and sighed. At least he hadn't run away. As long as Will never ran away, he would always have a chance.

"You're not fooling me, you know that right?" Jack whispered. Will shut his eyes tightly, pretending to be asleep already. "You can push yourself as far away as you want. You can stop talking to me, you can throw me out, you can do anything you want. But you don't fool me, and you won't get rid of me. I know you don't want that."

Will's eyes opened. He knew he was right.

Jack settled down and fell back asleep pretty easily. It wasn't that simple for Will.

"Oh God. That is huge. I–I don't think I can do this. I mean, he can't put that thing in my mouth! It's way too big! It's going to hurt Will, I can't do it. Just...look at the size of that thing!"

"I bet you say that every night of your life don't you? Only I bet you're not this apprehensive about it."

Jack slapped Will on the arm. Will stood above the dentists chair where the young man was sitting, getting ready to have his braces removed.

"Just think of it this way; you won't look like a twelve-year old anymore!" Will joked, soliciting a giggle from Jack.

"That's not funny," Jack said, trying to hide his smile. "I don't look twelve, do I?" he looked up at Will, who shrugged. "You look pretty young to be sixteen. You look like a little kid with those braces on."

"Well then, if you'll like it, it's a good thing I'm getting them off."

A blush crept up Will's cheeks, and he cleared his throat. "Please. You know you're glad you're getting them off. It's not because of me."

"Yeah, also, it's a lot easier to give head when there's no metal in your mouth."

The rosy pink color in Will's face transformed into a deep red. He gave Jack a little slap on the head and looked around, embarrassed. "Don't talk about that here," he said, looking around to see if anyone had overheard them. Jack was talking kind of loudly.

Jack smiled, his braces glinting in the light for the last time. "Ok–a–ay," he said in a sing-song voice. "You know you love when I talk like that, though."

A smirk appeared on Will's face for the first time in a long time. "Right. Now see if I hold your hand while they stick all those needles into your mouth."

The smile dropped from Jack's face, and he gripped the sides of the chair. He turned a ghostly white and his eyes grew wide. "I'm sorry. Hold my hand?" he replied quickly, holding out his palm.

Will sighed and took it, running his thumb over the top of Jack's hand. They stayed that way for a while. It never got uncomfortable. Jack leaned back in the chair and let out a breath, eyeing the sharp utensils on the tray in front of him again.

"Do you think it's going to hurt?"

Will gripped onto Jack's hands tighter and smiled. "Not much. You'll hardly feel anything," he reassured him. Jack made a whimpering sound. "You're only saying that to make me feel better."

"No, I'm not. Trust me, you won't feel a thing. In fact, to celebrate the removal of your childhood, why don't we go out tonight? We can go get something to eat. You know, have some dinner together."

"You paying?"

Will smiled. "Something tells me I'm going to have to."

"Don't worry, soon enough, someone will have to pick up the screenplay that I wrote and think, 'Genius! This Jack McFarland is an absolute genius! He's exactly what we're looking for ! And we'll make him a star!'" Jack explained, a dreamy smile on his face. Will rolled his eyes.

"Until then, the least you could do is pay for the home I'm giving you in my dorm. I'm not surprised that Rob moved to Ellen's after the first few days you were living there. He told me that he couldn't stand to see you in that nurses outfit at the end of his bed one more night."

"He's just jealous that he doesn't have my perfect figure. I saw the way he was looking at me."

"Jack, that would be called a look of horror."

"Suuuure. Will, I know when a man wants me. Tell him that I am i soooo /i sorry, but he just isn't my type. Break it to him gently, though, okay? I don't want his little heart to break."

Will nodded, knowing enough by now that Jack was only doing this to milk all the attention he could. "You know what? I bet that if I roll my eyes any more, they'll stick to my brain. So why don't you not talk for, say, a few hours?"

At that moment, the dentist walked in, a clipboard in one hand, a needle filled with novocaine in the other. Jack yelped as he saw it, but only squeezed Will's hand tighter.

"Ok Jack, open wide. This won't take very long..."

"Dammit, that hurt. And he said no kissing for a few days? What a bunch of crap."

"That means nothing else with your mouth either, Jack. I want you to stay inside. I'll make you some oatmeal or something. Just don't eat anything solid for three days like he said. You need to give your teeth time to adjust, or something like that."

Jack grimaced, running his tongue over the smooth enamel of his teeth again, enjoying the feeling without the cold jagged metal. They were still a bit sore, but not enough to really cause him any real pain. He gave Will a little shove on the arm.

"You're just like my mother, you know that? Only she isn't doomed to be balding and overweight by thirty."

"And you wonder why I complain about having you around?" Will asked, smiling a little. Jack was walking beside him, his arm held loosely at his side while they both strolled down the sidewalk. The grin disappeared as he glanced at Jack's hand swaying back and forth as they moved, and resisted the surprising urge he had to grab and hold it.

"Please. You love me around. I mean, look at how many people are paying attention to you now that you're here with me," Jack retorted, giving a flirtatious smile to the guy across the street. Maybe three minutes was enough time for his teeth to adjust, Jack thought, as the boy on the other side flashed a grin back.

Will looked away, pretending to be interested in the window display of the store next to him. He really shouldn't have been surprised when he looked back and Jack was now making eyes at the other man down on the corner, leaning on the telephone post waiting for the street to clear at the intersection.

"Could you be anymore obvious?" Will wondered aloud, causing Jack to turn to him with him eyes wide.

"Jealousy could just be your downfall, Will. Just letting you know now, it's never going to happen."

Rolling his eyes and trying not to think to much about what Jack said, Will turned at the next light, pulling Jack along as he almost stopped to follow the man that he had his eye on.

"Easy Truman! I'm very delicate," Jack teased, hooking his arm onto Will as the older man tried to shimmy away. Jack kept his grip, though, wandering towards the nearest sandwich shop. "Come on, let's get something to eat, like you said."

"No solid foods, Jack. Let's go back to the dorm. I'll make you something."

They went around their last right, and headed up to the Columbia campus. After heading up the stairs and unlocking the door to the room, Jack bounded across the floor, flopping on the bed and waving Will towards the tiny kitchen. "Come on, Will. Your lady wants some oatmeal."

"I told you before, you're not my lady," Will whined, following Jack's orders and getting the instant packet from the cabinets. "Just letting you know, it's never going to happen."

Jack stuck his tongue out upon hearing his own words against him, and sat up as the microwave whirred with his lunch. Will walked into the living room again, just looking at Jack on the bed.

It was strange, how far they had come. Jack had gone from someone he could hardly stand being with, to someone who was around him every day. They had inside jokes and tons of things in common, oddly. Will was beginning to think that Jack had been there everyday of his life, or that's what it had seemed like. They were good friends. But in that moment, seeing Jack without his braces, on his bed, looking so much older and so different yet so the same, he was beginning to feel something else.

A bizarre feeling of affection, though he thought maybe it was something stronger. Jack pressed his newly freed teeth against the soft skin of his lips, leaving an indentation behind in their wake, and a question that had been plaguing him since that night slipped out suddenly.

"Jack…what's it like—to kiss a guy?"

Jack could feel the sudden switch of power as though the lights on Will's side of the room dimmed and his brightened intensely. He was unsure how to respond, until he saw the unusual look of curiousity in Will's eyes. Something that he knew was hidden there all along, but had just now exposed itself; allowed itself to be presented to him.

He took a breath, the room deathly silent. The ding of the microwave was lost on the words that came out of Jack's mouth.

"Do you…want me to show you?"

Bwahaha. cliffhangers rock :D