Disclaimer: Own nothing of Star Wars. George Lucas. Any characters here. All used for entertainment purposes only.
Warning: Character Death
AU from Jedi Apprentice Books
Since Phoenix Red Lion asked :-)
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His body was laid carefully on the pyre. There were many there, gathered to remember Obi Wan Kenobi. Many were openly crying, tears of pain, tears of not being able to understand, tears of guilt for leaving Obi Wan alone to his grief.
"I should have been there." Bant cried into her master's shoulder. She bore the guilt heavily. She had been Obi's best friend since their crèche days. She had always been there for him, but not this time. This time she had been away on a mission. She hadn't even known that Obi had come back. But still the guilt was there.
Qui Gon stood alone, his cloak drawn to hide his face. He had aged years since Obi had died in his arms only two days ago.
The coroner had pronounced that the cause for Obi Wan's death was blood loss that settled into deep shock that caused his heart to fail. He had died a relatively painless death.
Yoda stood with the rest of the council. There was a deep sadness in his eyes and his droopy ears told the entire grieving mass of his own agony over the young Jedi's death.
Mace stood looking formidable against his own guilt. But it was a battle that he had already lost. Too well did he remember his harshness against the boy. He had been too quick to judge. In his haste to condemn Obi Wan, he had not seen past the now obvious pain that Obi Wan had not been able to hide behind those damned shields. He blamed Qui Gon for leaving the boy on that damned planet because Qui Gon's focus had mainly been on Tahl. But most of all… He blamed himself for not seeing.
Because Qui Gon was still considered Obi Wan's master, it was up to Qui Gon to take the torch and…
Qui Gon took a shallow breath, the tears burning his eyes before falling. He was a failure. He had failed so miserably with Xanatos and he had repeated every mistake with Obi Wan. Xanatos had died. Obi Wan had died. The blood was a heavy burden to bear. If he closed his eyes he could see Xanatos laugh as he expertly turned a trick upon one of his friends. He could also see Obi Wan's shy smile as he eagerly looked for praise. Not foolish praise that would raise Obi Wan's ego, but rather filling praise that would let Obi Wan know that someone cared about him. Someone loved him.
Qui Gon choked. Love. It was something he had denied to both Xanatos and Obi Wan.
And now… Here he was again, before the dead body of another apprentice.
His knees suddenly gave out. Burying his face in his hands he wept unashamedly. Grieving for the loss of Xanatos and of Obi Wan.
Lightening flashed against the gray sky. A few drops of rain fell, splattering against the cold stone and warm bodies. More raindrops fell coming quicker and quicker until they were in a torrential downpour.
Looking up, Qui Gon noticed that Obi Wan seemed to sigh. The rain trickled down his face making it look like tears.
Staggering to his feet, Qui Gon gently pressed his hand against Obi Wan's face. "You never disappointed me." He said quietly. "You never were a failure. You didn't betray anyone. You were never a coward. You were never a traitor. You're not a murderer."
He turned his face away, trying to regain his composure. "You are loved." He took a deep breath. "So much."
He brushed a thumb along Obi Wan's brow. "And you will be missed."
He studied the young face. Remembering everything. Then forcing himself to let go, he took the torch and lit the pyre.
He stepped back as the flames raced around the pyre despite the rain.
He stayed there until there was nothing left.
Nothing… But the rain…
The End