A/N: Thanks to all who've read and reviewed, especially garretelliot! I've gotten so many nice reviews and emails from those who are in military families. I'm glad you like the story, and I just hope it rings true! Let me say that most of the things that have happened to Jordan (or will happen to Jordan!) in this story actually happened to me in some shape or form, so even if it sounds far-fetched, it's pretty autobiographical! Except Jordan has a much better wardrobe.

XXXXXX

She went straight to her apartment and collapsed into bed, where she slept for 13 straight hours. Strange images shot through her brain like fever dreams. She couldn't remember them, but she woke up with a vague sense of uneasiness.

She missed him already. It was an ache at her center. If she shut her eyes, she could still see him there on the flight line and feel the roughness of his fingertips against her skin.

Duty called, and she headed off to work feeling wobbly and disoriented and not altogether sure which time zone she was in. It was strange...the morning felt much the same as every other morning. She rose, showered, drank her coffee in front of the news with the sound muted. She thought of Woody, said what passed for a prayer for him. But the difference was, they were married. Everything was different, yet life plodded on the same as it had before.

She was pouring another much-needed cup of coffee in the break room when Lily breezed in cheerily.

"Good morning, Jordan!" Her cheeks were bright and rosy, and not just from the fresh spring air. She grinned and reached for the coffee pot.

"You're awfully chipper for a Monday morning."

Lily ran to shut the break room door. She dashed back over to Jordan and bounced with excitement. She was positively beaming.

"Don't tell anyone yet, but Jeffrey and I went shopping for an engagement ring this weekend."

"That's great news. I'm happy for you, Lily." Jordan smiled weakly and took a sip of coffee.

Lily went on with animation. "Well, we're not officially engaged yet. It's way too soon. I mean, we've only been dating five months. But I've always really wanted a Christmas Eve wedding, which is funny since Jeffrey is Jewish, but..." She stopped and blushed a little and put her hands on her cheeks. "I'm sorry...I'm rambling, aren't I? So, anyway...what did you do this weekend, Jordan?"

She paused and took another sip of her coffee. "I...got married."

Lily almost choked on her bagel, and her eyes grew wide as saucers. She set her cup down on the counter and gasped for breath. "Does Woody know?"

"I hope so. He was the groom."

"Oh, my God, Jordan! But how did you... He's in Iraq, isn't he?"

"He was injured in a plane crash last week. He's fine, but I flew to the hospital in Germany to see him, and..." She lifted her left hand.

"Jordan!" Lily let out a squeal and threw her arms around Jordan. "This is huge! Oh, my God!"

"I know, I know. It surprised the hell out of me, too."

"But it's a good thing, right? Right?"

"Yeah, it's a good thing. A completely terrifying thing. But a good thing."

Lily skittered over and re-opened the break room door. "Hey, you guys! Guess who got married this weekend!"

"You know, I was kind of hoping to keep this on the Q.T. for awhile..."

But it was too late, and Nigel and Bug had wandered over in curiosity. Jordan smiled sheepishly and waggled the fingers on her left hand.

"So...who's the lucky guy?" deadpanned Bug.

Lily swatted him on the arm. "Bug! It's Woody! Of course!"

Bug and Nigel traded looks of disbelief. "Is this a belated April Fool's joke?"

"No!" Lily squealed, and then looked over at Jordan. "It's not, is it?"

"Scout's honor. Woody and I are officially married. Hitched. Husband and wife." The words felt strange, and there was a beat before anyone spoke.

"Well, I think it's fantastic." Nigel kissed her on the cheek. "Congratulations, love."

She smiled and felt herself tear up.

Reactions from her other co-workers were mixed, and there was teasing, most of it good-natured. She ducked into Garret's office to tell him before someone else did, but he hadn't come in yet.

She holed up in her office to avoid the snickers and the same lame jokes about shotgun weddings when Garret came in.

"I heard the good news."

"Garret!" She rose from her desk and crossed to him. "I'm sorry, I really wanted to tell you in person."

"Congratulations, Jordan." He smiled warmly. "It is a little...unexpected."

"I know it's kind of sudden. When Bug found out, he had to ask who the groom was. What does that tell you?"

"Are you happy?"

"Yes. I think. I don't know." She lowered herself onto the sofa and put her head in her hands. "It all happened so quickly, and I kind of got swept along. I just keep wondering if we did the right thing."

He eased himself onto the sofa next to her. "There's an old joke about a couple who've been married for sixty years. After sixty long years, the husband wakes up one morning and decides he wants a divorce. He packs his bag and says to the wife on the way out, 'Sorry things didn't work out between us.'"

"I'm not sure I get it."

"Whether you've got sixty good years or six, I guess the point is to enjoy it and make the time you've got work."

"Wow, that's pessimistic..."

"Is it? I don't mean it to be. Two of the happiest days of my life were the day Abbie was born and the day I married Maggie. The fact that we divorced doesn't change that. We had good years together." He slipped his arm around her, and she leaned her head against him. "Don't start second guessing yourself. If marrying Woody felt like the right thing to do, then it probably was."

She sniffed, and he laughed softly and passed her a tissue. They sat that way for a long while, watching the sun begin to sink in the sky.

XXXXXX

She went to Woody's apartment, their apartment, after work and pushed the door open with trepidation. She'd been living in her old place for years, and she wasn't sure anywhere else could feel like home. She liked her apartment, the airiness of it, with its open space and glass-brick walls. This was Woody's place: all dark wood and chrome and overstuffed bachelor furniture.

She moved her things over gradually, a box or a chair at a time. It took almost a month, but by the time her lease expired in June, her place was empty, and Woody's apartment had begun to feel a little bit more like home.

Some of Woody's furniture looked as if it had been salvaged from a frat house dumpster. She was able to store some of it in basement storage, and other things went straight to Goodwill. His robots seemed out of place all of a sudden, so she carefully boxed them and stacked them in the closet.

She kept his clothes in his side of the closet. They still smelled of him. She missed him, and being married to him added a poignancy to that ache. But it was hard to feel married with him on the other side of the globe. She felt more like a hired designer who had been given a key to redecorate.

She experimented with colors on the bland whiteness of the place. The wall behind the bed went from mauve to lavender to sage green over the course of a weekend. She put up her posters in the living room and set out some of the funky art pieces she'd collected over the years.

Yes, it was home, and she thought Woody would be pleased with the inviting warmth she'd created.

She had everyone over for a housewarming party that weekend. Woody had been gone exactly six months and had six more months to go in Iraq. She wanted to commiserate and celebrate and be among friends.

She loved them. They had been her lifeline since she had returned to Boston, now more than ever with reports of the mounting casualties in Iraq filling the news. She heard from Woody occasionally, an email here or there, a short note, but not nearly enough for comfort.

The gathering had turned into a belated bridal shower, and she had just unwrapped a particularly hideous bowl from Bug and The Newlywed's Guide to Tantric Sex, a gift from Lily.

Garret passed her another box with a tell-tale shape. She pulled out a bottle of champagne that she knew sold for more than $350.

"Garret! This is Dom Perignon 1995!"

"It's for when Woody gets back," he said simply.

She blinked back tears. "Thank you, Garret. Thanks. All of you."

"And this is for right now." Garret pulled out a decidedly less expensive bottle of bubbly and passed it to Nigel for opening. "And this is for the newly sober," he grumbled as he popped open a bottle of ginger ale.

Jordan laughed and held out her glass. "No one should have to drink ginger ale alone, Garret. Fill 'er up."

"What shall we toast to?" asked Nigel.

Garret raised his glass. "To absent friends."

"Hear, hear," they said in unison, and their glasses clinked in the solemn silence that followed.

They streamed out close to midnight. Nigel was the last to go, as designated driver for a slightly tipsy Bug.

After she saw them out, she took a deep breath and crossed into the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror and steadied herself against the sink.

The moment of truth, she thought to herself grimly. She took another deep breath, closed her eyes and opened the medicine chest.

Her heart raced, and she swallowed hard to fight the sick feeling. She pried her eyes open one at a time and reached up for the contents of the little dixie cup she'd set on the shelf earlier.

Pink. Positive.

She held the stick in her hand and blinked hard. Perhaps she hadn't seen it right.

Pink. Positive.

"Oh, God..."

This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. Not now.

She slumped to the floor with the stick still clutched in her hand and willed it to turn some other shade.

"God, no..."

She sobbed, curled into a ball on the bathroom floor, until she could cry no more.