Alright. Chapter 3. Sweet. Enjoy.
"Those losers…leaving me here all by myself…"
Jigglypuff sighed as she talked to herself, lying on the couch's pillow. She was incredibly bored. The TV wasn't at all interesting (the cable cut off) and she was all alone. She didn't care about the prize. She just wanted something to do for the next couple of days. If it took that long.
"Hmm…I don't need them to have a good time."
She sprang up from the pillow, grabbed a remote, and pressed the power button. There was an explosion.
The record player was destroyed.
"Figures," the balloon Pokemon said, throwing the remote out of the window in defeat. She had hit and killed a squirrel, but she wasn't paying attention.
"Am I not meant to have fu-" She was hit in the face by a piece of lunch meat. She took it off her face, sniffed it, and tasted it. Then gagged.
It was salami.
"They'll never learn…the record player doesn't play salami."
Jigglypuff ran upstairs, got Falcon's wallet off of her dresser, and went outside.
"Now my quest begins. To get a new record player. Or better yet, a portable record player!" she said to herself, walking off, oblivious to the fact that those didn't exist.
Meanwhile…
The Italians made it. To the mall. No better place to look for a possible illegally enhanced pastry, right?
"This place is-a perfect for finding a possible illegally enhanced-a pastry!" said Luigi.
"It took-a forever to get-a here, though," said Dr. Mario, rubbing his feet.
"Looks like we're the first-a ones here," said Mario.
"Look out-a!" cried Luigi.
All 3 jumped out of the way of a speeding cab. Actually, they all backflipped over it.
"That-a never works," said Mario.
"That's our cue to get-a the hell out of-a the parking lot," said Dr. Mario. The three walked to the front door of the mall. Shortly after that, they all heard an explosion. Several people screamed; one of the kids screamed directly in Mario's face. Mario threw a fireball into the kid's mouth to shut him up.
But mainly to kill him.
"What in the world-a?" said Luigi.
A wave of people rushed out of the mall, almost knocking the Italians over. But they jumped up and stepped on people's heads to avoid trampling. Eventually they landed.
"At least the mall is empty," said Mario. The three nodded and began to walk inside.
"Hold on-a." A voice from behind called to them.
"Roy, I told you that wasn't gonna work…"
Meanwhile…
The Cute Ones had finally figured out a place to look. Wherever the train would take them.
"You really think this train's gonna take us to the right place?" asked Kirby. He, Yoshi, and Pikachu were all sitting together in the first of ten cars. The train was now outside.
"Maybe. It's not like we have anything to lose," said Pikachu, the rightful owner of the train idea.
"You mean besides time?" said Yoshi.
"Look, it's not like we would've had a better chance in the city anyway," Pikachu pointed out. "Besides, I needed to take a little trip. What about you two?"
Yoshi and Kirby said nothing.
"Silent agreement. That's how you know you won."
"Yeah, yeah," said Kirby.
"Excuse me?"
The Cute Ones looked at a little girl, standing right in front of them, staring with deep admiration.
"Umm…can I have your autographs?"
Pikachu held up a paw. "Pika pikachu?"
"He asked if you had ink," said the translator, Kirby.
"Um, no. Just a pen," the girl responded.
"He can't write," Yoshi said, while Pikachu shook his head.
"What about you two?" the girl asked.
"Well…how much do you have on you?" asked Kirby in a somewhat low voice.
"I'm broke…"
"Can't help ya," sighed Kirby.
The girl just stood there for a few seconds. Then she threw her notepad and pen on the floor in frustration.
"Damn it! This happens every goddamn time! Stupid celebrities!"
The Cute Ones stared and said nothing.
"…Shit!" The little girl stomped away, repeating that swear with each step.
The three shook their heads simultaneously.
"Pitiful," they all said.
Right after that, a loud explosion was heard, almost rendering the trio (and possibly the other passengers) deaf. The car they were in leaned forward in a steep slant. An unknown force had suddenly destroyed the overpass the train was crossing, and the train was on its way down into the street below.
Meanwhile…
Team Girl Power was finally airborne after almost an hour of bickering and trying to correct the platform malfunction. However, now that they were moving, they didn't have a specific destination.
"So…just fly around?" asked Peach for the 6th time.
"We have no other option right now, so stop asking me that," said Samus.
Peach sighed.
"This PIE thing sounds pretty special for Master Hand to send all of his workers to go look for it. And to offer a 'special prize' too? I'm thinking about keeping it for myself and selling it," Samus continued.
"The boss wouldn't like that," said Zelda.
"Yeah, I know."
"Girls?" Peach said.
"What is it, Peach?" said Samus.
"Look." Peach pointed out the window. Samus got up (the ship was on auto-pilot) and looked out the window.
"Great…"
They were flying toward a train wreck near a destroyed overpass. The damage was considerable; 8 of the 10 train cars had fallen into the street, there was a growing fire, and many cars (automobiles) had been totaled.
"We should check it out," said Zelda.
"Fine," Samus said, almost regretfully. "We're coming in for a landing." She sat back down in her seat, pressed some buttons, and about 10 seconds later, the ship landed in front of the wreck. Samus exited first. (Mind you, she's wearing her suit.) She scanned the area for survivors.
There were 4.
"What a disaster," Zelda said as she rose out of the ship.
"We need to find those survivors," said Samus, rushing toward the rubble.
"Oh, this is horrible," said Peach, the last to exit the ship.
"Look for the survivors," Zelda said as she teleported to the wreckage. Peach floated over shortly after. The team dug out rubbish feverishly searching for those four survivors. It took a little while, but within about 2 minutes, Samus heard some groans nearby. She quickly discerned the source.
The train car right in front of her.
Since the car had been turned on its side, Samus jumped on top of the car and blasted the door open. She jumped inside; Peach and Zelda followed close by.
The groaning continued.
Samus turned to her right.
"Are you guys all right?"
Yoshi, Kirby, Pikachu, and the little girl all groaned at the same time.
"No fractures or wounds, just sprains," Samus said.
"And my head is killing me," groaned Kirby.
"Pika pi…" said Pikachu.
Yoshi, who was lying right next to Pikachu, kicked him with all of his strength. Which was very little.
"Nothing to lose, right?" the dinosaur said, straining words slightly.
Meanwhile…
The Brat Pack had a little problem. They had decided to get on the train to the last stop, wherever it was. However, the train had suddenly fallen off an overpass, and they had almost fallen. They were in the 9th car when the incident occurred. All the power had been cut off, so the lights were out (even though it was the middle of the day and it had no effect) and the AC was off (to some effect as the doors were jammed and the kids couldn't open the windows).
"This isn't fair…" complained Young Link.
"What the hell do we do now? Our one plan didn't work, and we almost died," said Ness, a little worked up.
"Pichu pichu pi! (I said the supermarket!)"
"We're never gonna get that little rodent, are we?" asked Young Link with a sigh.
Sirens could be heard below them.
"No…" Ness said as he took out his baseball bat and walked towards a window. "We won't." After 3 hard swings, the window finally broke. The three jumped out of it and onto the battered side of the tracks.
"Now…how do we get down from here?" said Young Link.
"Pi pichu pi! (Samus's ship!)" Pichu pointed down at Team Girl Power about to leave the scene of destruction.
"Crap. Don't let them leave. Hey!" Young Link yelled. Eventually the other two assisted by yelling as loud as they could and waving their arms. Samus soon saw them, but she and the other two still got on board.
"Where's she going? Hey! Over here!" Young Link continued yelling.
The ship rose and headed towards the Pack at low speed. It then hovered in front of the edge of the tracks where the three stood. Samus rose out of the ship. She took off her helmet.
"Are you kids all right?" she called out.
"Yeah, we're fine!" Ness yelled.
"Was there any one else down there?" Young Link yelled.
"Come on!" Samus yelled, holding out her arm.
All three jumped the 3 feet to Samus's starship. When they were all inside, the ship lowered.
"Where were you guys going?" asked Peach.
"Wherever the train's last stop was. But now…we wanna hang out with you guys! I mean, girls," said Young Link.
"It's already crowded with 3 people in here," said Zelda.
"Sorry, kids," said Samus.
"Aww…" all 3 said, with Pichu's being "Pi…".
"Was anyone down there?" Ness asked.
"Let's just say…Team 2 is eliminated," Samus said.
The Brat Pack gasped.
"They're not dead, they're just a little banged up," Samus added.
"Aww…" the 3 said again, with Pichu's being "Pi…".
"Anyone know where that explosion came from?" asked Young Link.
The two teams heard whooshing overhead.
Meanwhile…
"Falcon, you big ass! Look what you did!"
Falco was yelling at Falcon as The Spacemen flew over a train wreck primarily caused by Falcon's first shot.
"First that mall, now this…" Fox sighed as he spoke.
Falcon scratched his head in embarrassment.
"Those are some powerful blasters."
"Falcon, this is serious! You killed a lot of people just now!" Fox yelled.
"Accidentally," Falcon added.
"Technically, you fired on purpose, so the authorities will assume-"
"Authorities?" Falco was interrupted by Falcon's question.
"Yeah, the authorities. They'll assume you hit your targets on purpose as well. Falcon, you're gonna be wanted for manslaughter or something. I don't know what the hell you just did is called here."
"Basically…you're in deep shit," Fox added.
Falcon gulped.
"This is so bad for my image…but since I'm in your ship, and there were no witnesses-"
"Didn't you see Samus's starship back there?"
Fox had a good point.
"She'll know Falco and I didn't do it."
"Well, if we find PIE, maybe the boss will be so stoked he'll bail you out of prison," Falco said, trying to calm Falcon's nerves.
"No. I'm not going to prison. Not me. I look too good to be in prison," Falcon ranted.
"If you plan on becoming a fugitive or something, do us a favor and leave us out of it," said Fox.
"Maybe I eliminated a team that was on the train," Falcon said.
"As awesome as that would be…hey, maybe you did. Maybe he did, Fox," Falco said.
"Just drop it and let's continue the search. We'll fly over that bridge when we come to it," said Fox.
Meanwhile…
The Three Brave Swordsmen and The Italians were traversing a now empty Mall-Mart, looking for anything that could help them find PIE. Individually. As teams. Well, they were walking together, but they were still adversaries.
"I can't believe you guys-a tried-a to kill us!" said Luigi.
"Don't-a act so surprised, Luigi. We're used to it-a by now," said Mario.
"It's all competition," said Roy.
"Let's just look for some clues or something," said Marth.
About 6 minutes into the walk, the teams split up; The Italians stayed downstairs while the Swordsmen went upstairs. The Swordsmen walked and walked, passing many a deserted booth and empty store, but finding nothing.
"Where did everybody go?" Link said while looking around. He looked to the right and noticed a huge hole in the wall. "Oh yeah…"
"Shh. Hear that?" Marth whispered. The group stopped walking and listened. They could all hear soft breathing and footsteps. From below them.
"Wait. How can we hear that?" asked Roy.
"That's not the point," said Link.
"Well why not?" asked Roy.
"The point is, someone's still here. They might know some-"
"Stop-a!"
Marth was cut short by Mario's yelling.
"What the...?" Link said.
As they ran back to the escalator to see what was happening, they could hear rapid footsteps getting louder and louder. The Italians were chasing a man in a dark blue raincoat out of the mall.
"Come back here with my PIE!" Luigi yelled.
"He has PIE?" all 3 Swordsmen said at the same time. They quickly jumped off the balcony and joined the chase.
Meanwhile…
The Power Trip now had a little hunch of where PIE could be. Mall-Mart. They knew that place had everything.
"I'm telling you, if PIE's not there, it probably ain't anywhere," said Bowser.
The three were walking down the street to Mall-Mart, making people flinch and scream along the way, without trying this time.
"Well, even if it's not, see that smoke? There's probably no one there anyway, so…" DK hinted.
"Hey…free stuff," Ganondorf said. The Power Trip started chuckling, then laughing.
"I've finally found you!"
The three stopped laughing and walking and stared at a man pointing a rifle to Bowser's head.
"Your reign of terror ends now, King of the Koop-"
Bowser grabbed the man's rifle, bent the tube back, yanked the rifle out of his hand (almost breaking his arm), and whacked the man over the head with it, knocking him out. Afterwards, The Power Trip began laughing again.
"Ok, let's go," DK said. As they stepped over the unconscious guy, they noticed a large Harrier jet (much like the ones in Viewtiful Joe, which I also don't own) hovering where the smoke was. They could see a small figure jump into the cockpit and fly off.
"Wonder what that was?" said Ganondorf.
"Who cares? Let's just get this damn PIE!" said Bowser.
Meanwhile…
Team Old School had the same idea as all the other teams. However, Mr. Game & Watch was using the bathroom at the time of the "attack", and all 3 were clueless as to what happened. The Ice Climbers waited outside for their little flat friend to finish his business.
"How can he use the bathroom, anyway?" asked Nana.
"What if he's plotting against us?" asked Popo.
The two said nothing for a while. The toilet flushed from inside.
"That's silly!" the Ice Climbers said.
Mr. Game & Watch came out from under the bathroom door.
"Beep, buzz buzz beep beep buzz? (So, are we ready to go?)"
"Are we ready?" asked Nana.
Mr. Game & Watch sighed.
Yeah, I'm done. Stay tuned…