I know this took a while, but that's not important. It's here. Read and enjoy it.
At the grocery store, Jigglypuff was walking up and down the aisles, looking for either a new record player or a new portable record player. She had been doing this for almost a half hour. Eventually, one of the clerks spotted the clueless puffball walking around. He approached her.
"Is there something you want?" the man asked. Jigglypuff turned around.
"Where do you keep your record players?"
The man just looked at her and sighed.
"Do you have any portable ones?"
The man looked at her and sighed annoyedly.
"This is a grocery store," the man said.
Jigglypuff nodded. "Uh-huh."
"…The keyword is grocery."
"Yeah."
"…Let me explain this the simplest way I can." The man inhaled and kicked Jigglypuff into a wall.
"Get it?"
Jigglypuff made a muffled response and pried herself off of the wall.
"They're in the wall?"
She was hit with a 50-cent bag of chips.
"This isn't a record player! What are you, retarded?"
"We don't sell those, dumbass!"
"Well, what the hell kind of grocery store is this? This is ridiculous!" Jigglypuff stomped out of the store in a huff. Then she stopped and slowly turned around.
"Oh…"
She realized what just happened.
"Wrong grocery."
Meanwhile…
The Italians were pacing the front of Mall-Mart, thinking of what to do next. The Three Brave Swordsmen had accompanied them.
"Well, this is-a just wonderful. Now what-a do we do?" asked Luigi, stressed out.
"If only we had a way to contact Fox. Then at least we could see a dogfight," said Roy.
"This-a sucks…" Mario said with a sigh.
"This 'adventure' could've been over…if it wasn't for you slowpokes," said Marth.
"What-a do you mean, slow?" asked Dr. Mario.
"If it was me chasing that guy, the prize would've been ours and we could all go back to the mansion and get on with our lives," Marth continued.
"That's not the point right now! Look, the only teams that can actually do something about that guy are Girl Power and The Spacemen. The prize is out of our reach until they shoot him down or something. Besides…how do we know that it was PIE you guys saw?" Link pointed out.
"That-a pie was-a huge! That-a wasn't normal, trust me," Mario said.
"Yeah, that's great. You can worry about your prize, but there are better things to go after right now," a gruff voice said.
The Power Trip had arrived.
"What are you talking about?" asked Roy.
"That blast created an abandoned mall. What do you think us bad guys are gonna do next?" said Ganondorf. DK raised his hand.
"I'm not bad, just taking advantage," he said.
"Looting? That's pretty low…" said Marth.
"Well, Master Hand couldn't possibly give us something better than what we could get right now. Now step aside, losers," Bowser said, pushing the six out of the way.
"Joining us, Mario?" asked DK.
"This-a store has nothing I want," Mario replied.
DK shrugged and followed Bowser and Ganondorf.
"He's-a got a point," Luigi said. "What-a could Master Hand-a have that's-a so great, anyway?"
"It's not in our nature," answered Link.
Luigi groaned. "Stupid nature."
Meanwhile…
Team Girl Power was receiving a signal.
"It's from Fox," said Samus. She answered the call. "What is it, Fox?"
"Samus, this is Fox."
"I know. I just called you Fox."
"Oh. Yeah," Fox said with a chuckle. "Listen, some lunatic in a Harrier almost rammed us out of the sky. We noticed something very weird about him. He was holding a pie."
"Pie?" asked Peach. Zelda shushed her.
"You think that's it?" asked Samus.
"Yeah. And I just called to tell you…losers! We win! Ha!"
The signal cut off.
"He can be such a jerk sometimes," Samus said with a sigh.
"So do we go back?" asked Zelda.
"I hope so! I want that prize!" said Peach.
"Peach…" Samus turned her starship around. "Shut up."
Meanwhile…
The Brat Pack was walking back to the mansion. They had given up.
"We're never gonna get PIE without any leads…might as well go home," said Ness.
"Yeah…what's-her-face is probably lonely anyway," said Young Link.
"Jigglypuff."
"Right."
"Pi pichu pichu chu? (What's wrong with you guys?)"
"As soon as we get to the mansion, you're getting away from us," said Ness.
Pichu sighed.
Meanwhile…
"Falcon, you get to press the red button now."
"Good…"
Falco just informed Falcon that a dogfight was about to ensue.
"Let's hope you know how to dodge," said Fox. The three were tailing the Harrier, waiting for an attack. Eventually, the jet released 5 homing missiles. 5 very, very slow homing missiles.
"What is this guy, an idiot?" Fox wondered as he easily blasted the missiles.
"Hey, I wanted to blast them!" said Falcon.
"It's always about you. So selfish…" said Falco.
"I'm a bounty hunter."
"So are we. What's your point?"
"You're a team. I work alone and live alone, so I'm always looking out for me."
"I don't wanna hear your life story right now."
"Why do always have to start something with me?"
"Move!"
Fox interrupted the argument to warn the others of the powerful laser blast that was headed for them. (The Harrier had turned around, lowered a cannon from the bottom, and was charging its blast.) The team quickly moved out of the way, narrowly avoiding danger.
"Alright! Let's kick ass!" Falco cheered. All 3 ships started firing at the jet.
But it vanished.
"Where the hell did it go?" said Falco.
"Be alert, team. That guy wouldn't just leave us alone," said Fox.
The Harrier reappeared behind the team, charging its cannon again.
"Flip!" Fox called out.
The team did a synchronized backflip, again narrowly avoiding danger. They ended up behind the Harrier and shot it with a barrage of lasers. They caused considerable damage as the jet was now smoking a bit. It tried to turn around, but there was an explosion on the side of the nose.
"Falco, look out!" Falcon called out.
Falco quickly barrel-rolled to the left, avoiding Samus's starship.
"Shit! That was close!" Falco exclaimed.
"I knew she was gonna do that…" Fox said with a sigh.
The Harrier caught fire and was headed down.
"Girls, we got this one," Samus said. Peach clapped while Zelda nodded. They began tailing the jet.
"No! We had him first! Follow me!" Fox dived after the starship. Falco and Falcon followed close behind.
Meanwhile…
Team Old School was walking to the front of the mall. Mr. Game & Watch was done doing whatever he does in the bathroom. They passed the looters (The Power Trip) and reached the outside of the mall, where The Italians and The Three Brave Swordsmen were sitting on the curb.
"What's going on with you guys?" asked Nana with a smile.
The two teams were looking up, mouths agape.
"What are you guys looking at?" asked Popo, looking up as well. "Oh…cool!"
BOOM!
The Harrier jet crashed right in front of the mall, about 75 meters away. The Italians and The Three Brave Swordsmen immediately sprang up.
"That's our cue," said Marth.
"Let's-a go!" said Mario.
"Beep buzz buzz beep! (Shut up and run!)"
Okay, that was a bit shorter than the other ones. Yep…back to Luigi's Experiment…