A/N Thanks for all the reviews and for the comments! Thanks for the positive feedback on keeping these guys in character. That's really important to me even though I'm pushing them a little. I think after all that "trauma", that they could all be vulnerable enough to realize how much they care. I'll continue on with that if you guys will continue on with the feedback! You are all awesome! Susan
Chapter 4 A Time to Live and a Time to Die
7 AM the next morning…………
Dr. Collins walks into the family waiting area looking for Stella. He nudges her to wake her up and she reaches over to wake Sheldon up as well. Dr. Collins tells her that Mac is going to live. He says the swelling on Mac's brain has gone from a very dangerous 16 down to an 8.This upgrades him to Guarded condition instead of critical. He tells her they have taken him off the respirator and he is breathing on his own and that they are backing off of some of the medicine keeping him sedated.Dr. Collins says he is hoping that he will wake up soon, and surely sometime today. He tells Stella she can go in a little early to visit because they are going to be taking Mac to CT Scan shortly and he will be going off duty and Dr. Johnson will be taking over for the day shift. . Stella breathes a sigh of relief. She swallows down the nausea because this isn't a bad dream but reality. She fights a new wave of tears but reaches up to shake the doctor's hand and thank him.
Sheldon reaches over and takes Stella's hand, 'See there. He's getting better! You go in and see him. I'm going to call Danny, Lindsay, Flack, and the office and then I'll go home and shower and be back for the later morning visiting time. Do you need anything?" Stella shakes her head no, hugs Sheldon and heads into the STICU.
She walks into Mac's room and can't help but gasp out loud because his face is swollen and black and purple from forehead all the way down his neck. She can see a small blood stain on the pillow where the staples in the back of his head have seeped blood. She sucks in the tears and sits down, taking Mac's hand.
"Here we are again. You look like you lost the fight, Taylor." She smiles through her tears. She makes small talk and tells him who all has been by to see him and where they all are now. She is rubbing his hand the whole time. "My God, I'm just rambling aren't I? Do I always talk this much?" Stella felt Mac's hand move in hers.
"Mac! Can you hear me?" she says loudly. Mac flinches and his hand squeezes hers lightly. Stella starts laughing and crying at the same time. "Mac!" She says his name over and over. His eyelids finally flutter open as much as they can with his eyes swollen that much. Stella leans over him and says, "Hi there big guy." Mac winces and tries to focus on her face. Stella pushes the nurse's button and keeps talking to him. He can't seem to wake up, but keeps fighting to open his eyes.
The nurse comes in and Stella tells her he is waking up. The nurse checks the monitor and speaks to Mac. He doesn't look toward her but continues to move. The nurse tells Stella that he is waking up and doing well. She warns Stella that he may be very confused and may not remember the accident. She tells Stella to just keep talking to him and hit the button if she feels she needs the nurse back in. She tells her that Dr. Johnson would be doing rounds shortly and would be in. Stella just keeps nodding and crying. The nurse smiles and pats Stella's arm on the way out. "You're husband is waking up. It's your voice giving him the strength. Just keep talking to him."
"He's not my……………" replies Stella but the nurse was gone before she could get it out.
Stella focused her attention back on Mac. "Look at me, Mac. Open your eyes." She could see him struggle and fight to open his eyes and focus on her. "My God, Mac, you are ever the Marine. What a fighter. Open your eyes! Come on!" His eyes fluttered again and finally stayed open.
"Stella?" he says in a very raspy voice and as soon as he does he flinches in pain.
"Mac, it's OK! You've had a tube in your throat and it's probably very sore. Just try not to talk much."
Mac tries to look around the room. "Hospital?" he says and flinches again. He tries to reach up and touch his face.
Stella grabs his other hand in hers as well. "Yes. You're in the intensive care unit. Try to stay still. Are you in pain?" Mac shakes his head no and Stella snorts, "You are such a liar, Mac Taylor." He tried to smile.
Stella, without even realizing it, reaches up and brushes his hair with her fingers. "Do you remember what happened?" She holds her breath watching Mac trying to think. She can see the confusion on his face. She doesn't know how much she should tell him because she doesn't want to upset him. She tries to jog his memory, "Ashley? She is the girl who was going to jump from the roof?" She sees recognition in his eyes.
"Is she OK?" he rasps. Stella fights the tears again because she knows this selfless man so well. He's always worried about someone else.
"Yes, damn you. Ashley is safe and she is fine. You are the one who fell off the roof!" Stella says with a very shaky voice.
Mac winces and tries to rise up. Stella puts her hand on his chest to stop him.
"You cannot get up Mac! You have wires hooked up everywhere and an IV."
Mac looks confused again, "I've got to go."
Stella looks at him incredulously. "Go where?" she shrieks.
"To work. I hate hospitals." He replies in a weak yet very matter of fact voice.
Stella throws her hands up. "I do not believe you, Mac Taylor! You can't get up and you can't go to work! You have a gash and staples in the back of your head and you have swelling on your brain. Last night, we didn't even know if you were going to live! I'm sorry you hate hospitals, but you are NOT getting up."
The monitor next to Mac's bed started beeping and the nurse rushed in. Stella's heart went to her throat. The nurse hit the silence button on the monitor. She patted his hand and said, "Detective Taylor, your heart rate is too high. I need you to calm down. It is very important that you rest right now."
Mac laid back and said, "I have to go." Stella looked at the nurse in a state of panic. The nurse quietly tells Stella she is going to go get him some more medicine so he will calm down. Stella can't stop the tears from falling.
"Mac please! Stay still. They are trying to help you. You can't even stand up right now." She pleads with him.
Mac focuses on Stella. "You are crying. You look like hell." Stella laughs in spite of herself and says, "Thanks Mac. I can always count on you! You look pretty rough yourself."
The nurse comes back in the room and pushes a syringe into Mac's IV. She quietly tells Stella that it will make him groggy, possibly talking out of his head even more and will make him sleep. She tells Stella that visiting hours are almost over anyway. Stella nods and thanks her.
"I heard that." Mac says. Stella grins at him. "You are a horrible patient, Detective."
She can see Mac's eyes getting heavier. "Get some rest Mac. We'll talk more later."
Mac tries to form words, "Got to………………..go…………..work." Stella can't decide if she wants to hug him or punch him. She leans down close to him and says, "Go to sleep, Mac."
Mac's next move shocks Stella to her core. She wonders how much of it is the medication when Mac reaches for her hand and when she takes his hand he says groggily, "Stella……………..don't leave me…………."
Stella tries to speak through the lump in her throat. "I'll be here, Mac." His hand relaxes and she lets it go. She can't take her eyes off him. She touches her fingers to her lips and brushes her fingers across his cheek.
She walks back out to the waiting area in a daze. She has never seen Mac so vulnerable. Mac is always the one in control and this is so out of character for him. She isn't sure how to handle it. She is so worried about him trying to get out of that bed! She is worried that he won't be OK. She's worried that her strong Mac won't be back anytime soon. She is worried that now that he can look her in the eye, she may never be able to really tell him how she feels. She decides that before she goes back to waiting area to face Danny and Lindsay that she will go to the Chapel, light some candles, and pray. She needs all the help she can get right now and Mac needs the healing!
TBC! PLEASE R & R!