Marie: 'Nother chappie. Come on! We have five chapters! Say something!
"Ooh! Look, they're all blonde! Friends!"
Legolordas attempted to go out and meet the host of flaxen-haired riders, only to be tripped by Thonagong.
"Are you stupid?" the man whispered loudly.
"Uh…."
"You can't go out there! How do you know they aren't Dorks in disguise?"
"Seriously, how could a Dork ever pass as a Rider of Noblonde?" said Blini.
Thonagong was about to yell at him when he felt something small and fluffy whack him on the back of the head. Legolordas's eyes widened as he looked at something behind the future king. He turned, hearing a man talking to him, armed with another stuffed animal that he was ready to fling at the small company should the need arise.
"What business do you have here?" the lead man demanded, taking off his helmet.
"We don't have a business here, although I believe I have offered my services to some of the people in this country, mostly large requests for redoing blonde highlights or manicures. Actually I think I've done your hair before… You know I have my set with me and I could fix up those roots in a jiffy…"
"Shut up, mole!" he exclaimed, clearly annoyed with having his roots pointed out. He surveyed the group and asked gruffly, "What does a Bell, a man, and a mole have to do with the Riders of Noblonde?"
"Wait, why is it called 'Noblonde' if you're all…?" Legolordas thought this a simple question considering the entire company had blonde hair but apparently certain people found this question rather unimportant.
"Am I the one who named this stupid country?" asked the man, the question plainly rhetorical.
"Uh…"
"NO!"
The blonde man now turned away from Legolordas's still pondering form to speak with Thonagong.
"I am Thonagong, son of Bonagong, this is Blini, son of Bloin, and that one over there is Legolordas Greentea, son of….yeah, so we are friends of your king…um…"
"Theo O. Dan?"
"Yeah, that one. Anywho, we're looking for a couple of our friends," finished up Thonagong.
"You sure you aren't spies?" he asked, eyeing them suspiciously.
"You sure you aren't spies?" shot back Blini.
"Oh, go eat dirt, Mole."
"Moles don't eat dirt," Legolordas pointed out. "Worms eat dirt…"
"We are not spies. We just want to find our friends, who were captured by Dorks a while back."
The blonde still watched them warily, but then said, "Nah, you can't be spies. That's giving you way too much credit."
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Blini, taking a step closer, clippers in hand.
"It means I don't expect you to understand what I mean," he shot back. He then thought to himself, trying to make sense of his own comment.
"Have you seen our friends?" Thonagong persisted.
"What friends?" asked the man, clearly confused.
"The ones that were kidnapped by Dorks!" the dirty man exclaimed, exasperated.
"Your friends were kidnapped by Dorks?" asked Legolordas of Thonagong, eyes wide.
"We just killed a bunch of 'em over there." The lead rider gestured toward a steaming pile off in the distance.
"Did you see any bobbits?" asked Blini.
"No, I've never heard of a hobbit," replied the man.
"What's a hobbit?" asked Legolordas, obviously not following the conversation…again.
"I said BOBBIT!" yelled Thonagong.
The conversation pretty much went that way for a while- Thonagong explaining what a bobbit was, Legolordas and the riders listening intently, Blini threatening even though he was only about 4 and ½ feet tall…
Finally they departed from each other, but not without gaining a couple of horses and learning the name of the lead rider.
"I am Homer, niece of the King."
"Niece?" Thonagong's eye twitched.
"I don't have a niece."
"No, you said you were the niece of the King," said Blini.
"No, I'm the nephew of the King," said Homer, frowning.
"But you said…" Blini started.
Thonagong sighed. "Never mind."
The group rode over to the steaming pile of Dorks. And when I say steaming I mean steaming. Apparently Homer and friends weren't sure if cutting them into teeny tiny pieces would do the job so they burned them just in case. Didn't leave the most pleasant aroma, but at least they were sure none of them were going to come back to life.
The group searched around for the bobbit bodies but no luck. Blini, however, found something that disturbed them all- some melted wax fruit.
"NOOOOO!" Thonagong kicked a nearby helmet, causing him to yell again, only this time in pain. Not smart kicking metal helmets because that tends to break feet…unless you have metal feet…
"Hey that's my line!" exclaimed Blini.
"They're gone!" sniffed Legolordas. "I can still hear Mitten's yodeling."
Thonagong looked up from his swollen foot. "Hey, me too!"
Legolordas nodded sadly. "I know."
"No, I mean I really do hear yodeling!" He ran over to where the sound was coming from. "They must've got out of the way!"
He continued to follow the sound, only to stop abruptly at the entrance to the strangely colored wood.
He gasped. "They've gone into Candycorn Forest!"
Note: Haha! I just love this story. Anywho, please review or else you'll never find out what's in the Candycorn Forest, if Legolordas will ever find the Wizard of Oz so he can get a brain, and how Dodo and Spam are holding out with the hissing, Speedo-wearing Melvin.