Marie: Here ya go. Read.

The man, the Bell, and the Mole followed Blingaling the Black outside the forest.

"We gotta go to Noblonde cuz they ain't doin' so hot right now."

The gizzard quacked and over the plains came riding a sight none of the others had ever seen before, although I'm sure they'd wished they'd heard of it before because it would've made their lives easier.

What I'm speaking of, of course, is that great myth of unbelievably fast mail service-

"Pony Fax!" said Blingaling, satisfied at its response.

Legolordas inspected the logo on the horse's side. "Send your mail with Pony Fax, fastest horse on Earth."

"Yeah, Pony Fax has helped me many times when I forgot to mail ma taxes on May 15th." Blingaling patted the animal on his neck.

"Um, Blingaling, it's April 15th, not May," pointed out Thonagong.

Blingaling blinked and then grinned, "Oh that would be why I neva remember…"

The group mounted their horses and rode toward Noblonde's capital and whatever evil awaited them there.

XXX

"The White Door."

Melvin motioned toward the enormous White entrance to Jeldur. It looked freshly painted and Dodo couldn't help noticing that they missed a spot about a third of the way over to the left…

"Oh shave us, my old Staffer would have a thing or two to say if he could see us now," said Spam, obviously in awe of the door that rose before them.

You could see the dreaded Flower with the Nose of Baron hovering over it, sniffing occasionally. Off in the distance the great Toilet Bowl looked ominous. The Great Flower spewed toxic pollen and fragrance into the air. It was a dreary sight indeed.

"Shave us!" exclaimed Dodo, responding to Spam's comment. He was rather attached to his hair, thank you very much.

"Beagle doesn't want to be shaved!" the creature exclaimed, covering his already bald head.

Spam ignored them and said, "Well, I guess we're not getting in this way." He turned around and started to walk away…until he was yanked back by Melvin.

"My good fellow, what makesss you think that we led you all the way to the White Door of Jeldur for you to jussst look at it and leave?" he hissed, his eyes narrowed. Apparently he wanted them to do something with all the work he did for them.

"Beagle's right, Spam." Dodo looked at it and then noticed something. "Hey, I think someone's opening the door!"

But Spam wasn't listening. He was looking down at the ground. "Hey! I think I see someone's sandwich!"

He pointed down to a rock where a morsel was left lying there. He leaned over he edge of a rock to get a better look at it so he could drool some more.

"Spam!" exclaimed Dodo, looking at his precarious position.

"What?" he asked, and then he rolled his eyes upon seeing his master's worried expression. "I'm perfectly safe!"

Melvin, who had never been too fond of Spam since he had tried to threaten the Speedo-wearing Brit with Icy Hot, decided that now was a good time to try and get rid of him…but he couldn't be obvious.

The creature looked the other way from the bobbit and whistled 'inconspicuously'. All he had to do was give that fat one a little nudge…okay it was more like a shove.

Spam cried out since he hadn't been aware of Melvin's evil plot and toppled over the side of the hill, rolling with incredible speed and, what looked like, much pain to the bottom. Dodo watched this commotion with a surprised and a little amused expression on his face. I mean, its not every day you see your chubby friend go skidding down a hill, am I right?

After the bobbit had gotten over his enjoyment of the spectacle he turned to Melvin, wondering if he had anything to do with what happened. Melvin looked at him with innocent eyes.

He looked around and then pointed at a nearby platypus and said, "Um…he did it!"

Dodo restrained himself from going to beat up the strange and out of place platypus since he knew he probably should be helping his bobbit friend. He scrambled down the hill to where Spam was waist deep in wood chips (its not like they would put gravel near Jeldur because you could get hurt on those sharp things…although I suppose splinters weren't much better…).

He dug him out and they both sat there trying to avoid being seen by the army of circus performers (they go hand in hand with clowns you know) that had just arrived to get orders from the Dark, very dark Lord Baron.

Dodo realized that they needed to hide themselves quickly so he used their Gothlorien cloak which, of course, wouldn't show up against the light brown wood chips even though it was black…

Two circus performers came over and looked around (they really should've looked down…), saw nothing except for a Brit in a Speedo being beaten up by a platypus so they went back to their ranks and acted as if nothing had happened.

Dodo breathed a sigh of relief, pulled the cloak off and he and Spam got ready to run to the Door (he was sure they could pass for midgets)…until he found himself suddenly on the ground being babbled at by Melvin, while Spam sighed and glared at the creature angrily. Although the pudgy bobbit was temporarily distracted from his staring by his original mission- the sandwich. He ventured over to it, picked off a piece of dirt and started munching away happily.

Dodo watched as Melvin continued to jabber on about not taking the Mood Ring to the Dark, very dark, Lord Baron, and how He wants it and blah, blah, blah.

Gee, like we haven't heard this before.

The bobbit perked up upon hearing Beagle say something about a passage.

Ooh, I've always liked coming in the back way. Element of surprise.

Dodo wondered what his voice was getting at. "Are you saying there's another way into Jeldur?" he asked of it.

Surprisingly Melvin responded by saying there were some stairs and a tunnel. The former river person was clutching tightly to Dodo's sleeve, making him cringe a little at the thing's skin. So…pruney…

"He's smup da somephing…" started Spam with food in his large mouth.

Uck. Tell your friend to close his trap.

Dodo ignored the voice, though he had to admit the crumbs and chewed salami were a bit distracting. "He's led us this far, Spam."

"Mphr. Frodo, mo!" Spam mumbled.

Translation- Mr. Dodo, no! I'm tempted to agree with the fat one on this.

"He's been true to his word." Dodo shrugged them both off. "Lead the way, Beagle."

The creature took off. "Tally Ho!"

Note: Thank you, Stallions and Dragons, for reviewing! Finally someone! Lol. Made my day. Well Rochelle and I hope u guys are liking it. The next one might be a little long…either that or I'll split it into two…w/e. CHAPTER TEN- COMING SOON!