Chapter Five
It was two weeks later, and the office seemed to be running incredibly smooth. The only one missing was Nikki after many pleading the week before for some time off. Mike, apparently, couldn't live without an assistant and seemed to be barely functioning under the work load.
It was worse for both Carter and James, if it was possible. With Nikki gone, the only one who knew what really happened, they had nobody to confide in with their worries about what happened recently. And since Carter decided it would be best to leave any contact, physical or verbal, between James to a minimum, Carter felt very alone.
James seemed to move sluggishly, his handwriting, once neat and readable, would constantly leave the Mayor trying to guess what a word was in the middle of a press conference. The speeches themselves weren't any better either. They were still good, but not up to standard. Mike was so wrapped up in what his problems were, he didn't take the time to notice. But when he finally took the chance, he really noticed. He just made the mistake of asking about it while everyone else was in the room.
"So, James. Your… uh… speeches are getting a little rough there. Handwriting's getting a little illegible, too. Everything alright?" Mike solicited. Everyone turned their heads to face James. James avoided Carter's eyes by staring at his hands.
"I'm sorry. I just… I'm not having a very good week. I'll try harder."
"Good. Let me know how that goes." Mike paused. "And Carter?"
"Yes?" he responded meekly.
"People have been complaining you've been very short with them and unreasonable. I want whatever's going on not to effect your work, alright?"
"Yes, Mike."
"Okay! Everyone get back to work!" Everyone stood and walked out. "James, hold up a moment, actually." Mike hopped onto his desk. James closed the door and lowered the pad of paper he had grasped in his hand.
"Everything okay?" James asked indifferently.
"Actually, that's what I wanted to ask you." Mike realized James wasn't going to say anything so he continued. "You just seem to be moving slowly, you aren't talking much. And then there's the whole problem with your speeches."
"I just… I just had a pretty unexpected breakup. But I guess you couldn't call it a breakup since we were only together for three days huh?" James made sure not to allude to any gender or names. Forgetting who he was speaking to, he resumed. "It was a kind of confusing thing though. I had no idea I'd end up the way I did… and be happy. Then, after those three days… it was over. It's just really hard." He sighed.
"Well…" Mike crossed his arms slowly and bit his lip slightly. He hadn't expected that to come from James. He had only assumed it would be something less trivial. Something more… James like. "Well, James. Breakups can be hard. Especially after three days. Just keep telling yourself that it wasn't your fault, never is."
"But it was my fault. I know it was my fault. Which is sometimes worse than wondering what you did wrong." James said the last part to himself, but Mike heard anyway.
"Yeah. It's pretty bad. Here's some advice, though. If you really feel in all your heart that breaking up was a mistake… you do think that, right?"
"I guess so. Yes."
"Good. Do whatever you have to do to get whoever this is back. Don't give up. I've given up before and I lost someone special."
"Okay." James nodded and walked to the door, opening it. "Thanks."
"No problem." Mike waved it off like he offered such advice everyday of his life. Once he was sure James had left, he jumped off the desk and sighed a faint sigh of relief. "And I was just winging it, too! Score one for Mike!"
(----)
As it turned out, Carter had the idea to do whatever it took to make things up first. James stood from his small table and put down the bottle of beer he had been sipping on when he heard a loud knock on the door. He threw the door open, only to be confronted by Carter, his overcoat buttoned all the way up, flowers and chocolate in his hands.
"Um…" James was glad he put his bottle down.
"Can I come in?" Carter shifted from one foot to the other.
"Sure." James moved out of the way, closing the door behind him. "Do… do you… what are you doing here?" James blurted out.
"I want to talk. About what the hell we're going to do, before you ask 'about what?'."
"Oh… okay." James sat and picked up his still half full (or empty, whichever way you want to see it) bottle again. "Do you want to sit? Take off your coat?"
"I think I'll leave it on." Carter laid the flowers and chocolate on the small table and remained standing.
"Why? Are we going somewhere?" James was confused and he brought his mouth away from the bottle, his hand clutching the neck loosely.
"No. Because I have nothing on beneath it."
James' bottle smashed to the floor.
(----)
James sat up quickly from his place in the bed. Sweat still lingered on his brow and torso and he attempted to breath steadily. Carter sat up a minute later and he wiped sweat off of his forehead.
"That's talking!" James yelled. "If that's what you think talking is, I'm not sure I want to know your version of sex!"
"Well, James…" Carter tried to explain. James interrupted.
"No… no! Why did you do this to me! I was just about over this and then you show up at my door… naked!" he yelled again, shifting away from Carter.
"You didn't have to have sex with me!" Carter realized it was dumb to say.
"Yes, I did!"
"You did?"
"Yes!" James shrieked.
"Why!" Carter shouted back.
"Because I don't know what's wrong with me!" James hiccupped and Carter finally realized that the younger man was trying to hold back tears. "I thought that maybe if I did it one more time… once more… that I'd figure it all out and everything would be fine. But I'm just as confused as before… maybe even more confused. I just don't understand…" This time, James didn't try to hold back his cries and quaking sobs wracked his body.
Carter moved over and pulled James into an embrace. James tried to pull away at first, but gave up and buried his head into Carter's bare chest.
"I shouldn't have done what I did. I'm sorry." Carter whispered.
"Just… don't… talk…" James managed before being overcome by tears again. Carter clamped his mouth shut again and let his hand rest into the curly crop of hair once more. They could have moved on, true. So why did Carter go? Maybe they both needed to be locked up in a mental institution.
After James cried himself out, they really did take the time to talk, fully clothed, on the couch. They talked about what they were and weren't going to do. They made compromises and lists. They sat in silence and talked at the same time. Eventually, they came up with a plan. They decided they were allowed to tell one other person besides Nikki about what was going on in case they needed extra backup. The relationship would remain private until seriously sorted out. The rest was that they would always meet at James' apartment and stuff about what they should and shouldn't do at the workplace.
Then, they just had to decide whom else to tell about what was going on between them.
"Stacey?" James suggested.
"Too loud."
"Genelle?" he tried. Carter thought a moment.
"Too gossipy."
"The Mayor?"
"Too… mayor-y."
"Stuart?" James desperately attempted. Carter gave him a look.
"What are you, nuts!"
"Well, all there is left is Paul and Mike!" James exhaled heavily with aggravation. Carter paused and stared at the ceiling in thought. He looked down again.
"Know anybody you can call, like, outside of work?"
"Oh my…" James closed his eyes, obviously annoyed.
"Hey! It's not my fault I can't trust anyone except Nikki in that office!"
"Okay, okay. Maybe we shouldn't tell anyone else, then. I've only got one little problem with all of this."
"What?"
"Why is it always my place?" James whined.
"I told you. You live alone. I live with Stuart of all people. There is no way I can get you in and out without Stuart becoming nosy."
"I know. Nevermind then."
"Thank you." There was a lull in the conversation until there was a low grumble. Carter looked around for the source and James stared at his stomach before staring at Carter again.
"I think I'm hungry."
"Let's go out to eat."
"Really?" James looked slightly worried.
"Don't worry. We'll go somewhere none of the others would."
"It's not a… gay bar is it?" James prayed it wasn't.
"Naw, of course not. Just a diner. It'll be fine."
"Why do you make it so easy for me to trust you?"
"It's the old Heywood charm at work!"
(----)
When Nikki returned to the office, she found everything running quite efficiently. It surprised her slightly to see how everything seemed so… normal. So she approached the first person she saw.
"Hey, James."
"Hi, Nikki! Your back!" he looked up from writing something, smiling.
"Yeah. How're things going?" she attempted to start a conversation.
"Pretty good actually."
"How's… you-know-what going?"
"Not bad. I'm still really confused. But I don't think I'll ever get over this." They stopped talking as Paul hurried by, not pausing to greet Nikki on her day back. James began to write again before he put his pen down and looked back up a Nikki. "Have you…" he paused. "Oh, nevermind."
"No, what?" Nikki laughed breathlessly.
"Oh… I was going to ask if you've ever heard of a song named "Spin the Bottle"."
"Hm… I can't say that I have. Why?"
"I heard it on the radio yesterday. It was good song."
"What about it?"
"Aw," James waved his hand and turned back to his paper. "You'd have to hear it. It'd make sense when you hear it."
"I'll remember to look it up." Nikki turned to go back to her desk and Paul reentered the staff offices.
"Everyone!" Paul called out. Nobody listened and continued to work. "HEY! PEOPLE!" he yelled. Everyone finally stopped and looked up, albeit impatiently. "Okay. Thank you. The Mayor has just informed me that he's been invited to this event and everyone is going whether they like it or not."
"Did he really say that?" Mike doubted what Paul was saying.
"Yes. Exact words."
"When is it?" Nikki asked finally, after realizing nobody else was going to.
"Tomorrow night. The Mayor also said to bring a date, but you don't have to. No pressure." He walked away leaving everyone in awe. An event? Tomorrow? A date by tomorrow?
"So anybody happen to have a date yet?" Mike hoped he wasn't the only one dateless. Carter immediately stiffened at the thought. He looked to see James had gone from very pale to green and back again. "Anyone?"
"I might bring someone." Nikki hinted.
"Really?" Mike almost sounded… shocked. Nikki dropped her shoulders and frowned.
"No."
"Oh, whew. I thought the world had gone upside down. I was thinking, next, Carter was going to say he was with James or something…" he laughed and walked into his office to call around to see if there were any available girls for tomorrow. Nikki, Carter, and James all pretended to laugh until they were sure the door was closed. James stood slowly.
"I think I'm going to be sick." He gasped out and made a mad dash for the bathroom. Carter blinked a few times and swallowed.
"Either that was a very accurate joke and he didn't know it, or a very subtle way of letting us know he knows."
"Knowing Mike, if I'm correct, it's most likely the first option. He doesn't usually pick up on things like this."
"I hope so. I better go to the bathroom and see if I can find James. We'd better sort out how this is going to work out." Carter went to walk away.
"Good luck with that!"
"Same to you!" he responded. Nikki smiled and sat at her desk, picking up the phone. She dragged out a phone book and flipped to the first page.
(----)
By the time Carter approached the door, he could almost hear the retching noises from inside. He pushed it open and didn't even need to check under the stalls to find him. There was nobody else inside and he just picked the stall that was the protruding the loudest sounds.
"James?" he tapped on the stall door. The toilet flushed and there was a quick gasp of breath before an answer.
"Carter?"
"Are you alright? Was it what Mike said?" Carter guessed.
"A little, I suppose." He sighed. "I haven't been feeling since I woke up this morning."
"Why didn't you say something?" Carter recalled James not saying anything about feeling sick when he got up that morning.
"I thought maybe I was hungry. I don't know. It didn't seem so big." He shrugged, but he knew Carter couldn't see him do such an action.
"Do you want me to take you to your apartment?"
"No. I'm okay. I actually feel a little better. Thanks." He breathed. Carter moved out of the way when he felt the door begin to open. James stumbled out and walked to the sink. He proceeded to splash his face and take a little drink. Carter watched carefully the whole time, trying to make sure he was really okay. James seemed to notice Carter watching, because he looked up and smiled. "Really I'm okay."
"You look pale. And a little warm." Carter remarked.
"I do? Really?" James raised his eyebrows and Carter couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.
"Yes." Carter reached out and put the back of his hand on James' forehead before James could stop him. He took his hand away. "You are warm. I think you should go home."
"But…"
"No buts." Carter argued back. "I'll take you back to your…"
"Do I have to go to mine? I'm there, like, every night these days. I'm getting really tired of it." He whined. Carter smiled knowingly. He understood. In fear of Stuart finding them out, Carter insisted they always spend the night at James' and he had noticed the past few nights James appeared to be incredibly restless. Carter figured that the excuse that James was sick would provide no suspicion on Stuart's part.
"Fine. We'll go to Stuart and my place. We're not going to do anything with you sick anyway." Carter caved in.
"Okay. Good. I'll go now." He wavered slightly and Carter caught his elbow to steady him. He looked green again.
"Do you have to…"
"Yeah." James read his mind and dashed for the nearest stall, not bothering to close the door this time. Carter shook his head.
"I'm going to go let Mike know what's going on. I'll drop you off at my place and come back to work. Okay?"
"O… kay." Agreed.
"I'll be right back." Carter stepped out of the bathroom and sighed as the door closed. Someone went to go in. "I wouldn't go in there if I were you. Trust me!" Carter waved his hand in front of his nose. It didn't really stink in there, but he wanted to give James his privacy.
Besides, word gets around fast in this place. Carter wouldn't have been surprised if, by the time he finished talking to Mike, the whole building knew.