Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K.Rowling, what a lucky woman, isn't she?

A/N: Oh, well, finally I found a beta-reader for this fan-fiction. I'm really happy to put it on the net. It's my first Dramione ff, so I don't know if it will be ok. I hate OOC-ness, and I did my best for keeping Hermione and Draco in their characters, but this paring is a little bit odd so if there's something wrong with them, just forgive me, will you? Well, I wanted to write something funny, but I'm not sure that it's really humorous, hope it is though.

To Halo of Darkness: Thank you a lot for beta-reading, you did a great job.

In the Room of Requirement

Hermione quickly climbed the stairs. Her steps echoed in the empty corridors. When she reached the Seventh Floor, Hermione leaned against the wall breathlessly. She looked to her right and to her left. When the Gryffindor seemed convinced that nobody would pass by any time soon, she stepped in front of the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy and turned towards the blank wall in front of it. 'I need to get there, I need to get there, I need to get there,' Hermione thought, barely walking up and down three times with her eyes closed.

When she opened her eyes, a satisfied smile appeared on her face as the brunette saw the door in front of her. She looked around nervously another time before opening it. Hermione entered quickly and closed the door behind her. She gazed into the room; the only source of illumination was some floating candles. A huge four-poster bed with crimson sheets and cushions was the only furniture present. The walls were covered with heavy red and green stuff. Hermione stood in the middle of the room with her hands on her waist, a pose that reminded the girl of Mrs. Weasley.

Suddenly, she heard some steps behind her. Somebody wrapped his arm around her waist and with the other, he choked her. "You are late," he whispered in her ear.

Hermione tilted her head to her left. "Really? Guess what kept me?" she said sarcastically. She then freed herself from the embrace and turned to face him, "Head Girl's duties, that – it's so funny – should be the same as yours, Malfoy, since you are Head Boy," Hermione snapped with her hands on her hips again.

Draco looked at her and rolled his eyes. "I forgot," he said nonchalantly. His blond hair was all around his face, the green tie loosened around his neck.

Hermione glared at him. "You forgot? I looked at you at dinner and you nodded back to me," she said, trying not to yell at him.

Draco shrugged his shoulders. "I thought you wanted to be sure that I didn't forget our date," he said smiling.

"Oh, please," she said waving a hand in front of him, "You never forget our – ahem – dates." she said matter-of-factly.

Draco looked at her naughtily. "So what do you want to do? Stay here and waste our time because I'm a bad Head Boy, or just cut it out and start to snog?"

"Oh, I'm not going to cut it out anytime soon. We had to meet the Professors in the Headmistress' Office; I stayed there with them for almost half an hour waiting for you. They dismissed me and said to come back tomorrow with you. As a result, I've lost another evening of study," she said, turning red with anger.

Draco sighed. "Ok, what do you want me to say? I'm sorry?"

"I want you to say that you will never forget about another meeting with the Professors," she said, while her eyes shined dangerously.

Draco rolled his eyes again. "I swear that I'll never forget about another meeting with the Professors," he said lazily. Hermione glared at him and opened her mouth to complain. "Now that I promised," he said before she could speak, "What about a happy hour?" Hermione didn't move but couldn't help smiling. Draco decided that it was the right moment to stop talking and begin to have fun. He stepped towards her and started to kiss her fiercely. Hermione kissed him back. He took another step in her direction causing her to move back. When they reached the bed, Hermione sat on it while Draco straddled her. They were still kissing passionately when they started to undress.

The bed was perfect, but they already knew that; they had tested it since before Christmas and now it was almost March. It was so easy to find an excuse for getting there. Hermione's favourite justifications when Harry, Ron and Ginny asked her what she had to do were that she had to go to the library, the classic excuse, or that she had some Head Girl's duties. That worked really well, especially when she used her bossy tone. Draco just looked at Crabbe and Goyle and said that he would be out for a while. They didn't ask him and he didn't lie.

Their seventh year began with so many surprises that both Hermione and Draco thought that nobody could have tolerated knowing about their relationship, so they weren't so keen to tell anybody at all. Hermione was sure that none of her friends would have talked to her ever again, and Draco didn't want to let the Slytherins know that he was fancying a Mudblood.

Anyway, that year, there had been so many changes. First, Harry, Ron and Hermione had returned to Hogwarts after only a week of searching for the Horcruxes. The Ministry of Magic wasn't so pleased on having two young wizards and a witch searching for Voldemort, so they decided to let the Trio come back to Hogwarts and keep the quest in great secret. Then, McGonagall had been made Headmistress and, in the meantime, she kept teaching Transfiguration, while Professor Lupin had returned as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, and Slughorn kept teaching Potions. Finally, Draco had returned to Hogwarts, too. He had to hide from Voldemort, the Death Eaters, and especially his aunt, who considered him a traitor. Last, but not least, Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy had been made Head Girl and Head Boy a month after school started. They had both been quite surprised about that, and weren't looking forward to starting their jobs. Hermione was happy, of course. Since she had made Head Girl, she hadn't found loads of time to help Harry and Ron with the quest for the Horcruxes. Draco, on the other hand, wasn't expecting to become Head Boy at all after his attempt to kill the previous Headmaster, and he had started to think that Professor McGonagall had done it just to keep an eye on him, something that annoyed him quite a lot.

The Head Girl and the Head Boy had to spend at least five days a week together for discussing 'school problems' and making decisions, or for meeting with the Professors. For Hermione and Draco, it was almost like a punishment at the beginning, but after a couple of months, they started to enjoy their duties and the time they spent together, until the day that they found themselves snogging in a broom closet. Hermione had the brilliant idea of using the Room of Requirement as their 'private room' and they met there almost every evening since before Christmas.

Now while their naked bodies were clutched in the bed, neither one could believe that the right person has always been in front of them and they had never seen it. Hermione moaned as she reached her climax and leaned down on her back next to Draco. She took the crimson sheet and covered her body until over her breasts, while Draco lied down next to her, bare-chested. They were both breathing heavily; their faces were quite red and the pair had a dreamy expression in their eyes. Hermione turned her head towards him and smiled, "Wow, you have been great, Malfoy," she said caressing his stomach with the top of her fingers.

Draco smiled, "I'm sure I have," he said placing his arms under his head. Hermione cleared her throat and looked at him as if she was waiting for something. "You were, too. Not as great as me, but you have been quite good," he said indifferently.

Hermione stopped stroking his belly. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked Draco up and down. "Excuse me?" she said raising her eyebrows.

Draco looked at her amused. "Oh, come on, Granger. I'm the best for sure."

"What do you mean? That I'm not as good as you are in bed?" she asked glaring at him.

"Oh, well, you are good, but if I have to tell the truth, I'm better than you," he said smiling.

"Oh really?" she said sarcastically.

"Hey, it's not your fault, though, I'm sure I had more experiences than you did," he said matter-of-factly.

"You – what? Do you think that I'm only a little bookworm know-it-all with bushy hair and with no interests but being the first of the class?" she said with a murderous glare.

Draco started to feel a little uneasy next to her. "Well, actually-"

"I've had so many boyfriends that you can't even imagine," she said cutting him off.

Draco looked at her and smiled. "I'm sure you did," he said unconvincingly, "But I've had lots of girlfriends too."

"Girlfriends?" she said laughing, "If you think that a night of sex is enough for claiming that a lovely lady is your girlfriend, then you are wrong."

Draco snorted. "Were we talking about experiences or boyfriends and girlfriends?"

"Both," Hermione said, leaning down next to him.

"Come on, then," he said turning his face towards her.

"What?" she asked, not understanding.

"Come on, list your conquests," he said looking intently to her.

Hermione blushed. "W-what? I think that it's none of your business."

"You don't want to tell me or you can't tell me because you have never had any boyfriends?" he said holding back laughter.

Hermione glared at him. "You are really unpleasant."

"I know," he said laughing.

Hermione snorted. "Well, actually I had a wonderful love story with Viktor Krum, he is a famous Quidditch player and has been the Durmstrang's champion in our 4th year – oh wait, but I think that you know him – by name at least," she said sarcastically.

Now it was Draco's time to glare. "Ok, Granger, very funny. Then?"

"Then what? It's your time to speak," she said, smiling.

"What? What do you mean?" he asked, confused.

"I said one and now it's your turn. You have to tell me one of your girlfriends if you want me to continue," she explained.

Draco looked at her surprised. "You are quite clever, Granger."

"I know," she said smiling.

Draco cleared his throat. "Pansy Parkinson."

"Pansy Parkinson?" asked Hermione, laughing at the same time.

"What?" asked Draco annoyed, "She doesn't shine for her intelligence, but she is a very nice slut. Your turn," he said trying to talk over Hermione's laughter.

Hermione regained her composure and took a deep breath. "I've spent some wonderful evenings with Cormac McLaggen."

"Who? Don't tell me that it's that stupid guy, who used to join your Slug Club last year?" said Draco looking at her.

"Actually he is not stupid at all," lied Hermione remembering that she was running away from him the very first time that they went out together, "What about you?"

"Millicent Bulstrode," he said without looking at her.

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Wow, you have a great taste for women. I'm starting to feel a little bit underestimated."

"Hey, do you have something against my ex-girlfriends?"

"Nothing," she said giggling.

"Better for you, because I don't reckon that your boyfriends were all that good," he said defiantly.

"Are you jealous, Malfoy?" she asked him smiling.

"Dream on. You only had those two?"

Hermione snorted. "What do you think about Justin Finch-Fletchley?"

"Who?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "He is in our year, in Hufflepuff and-"

"Hufflepuffs don't count," said Draco quietly.

Hermione widened her eyes. "What? Hufflepuffs don't count? Who are you to rule that?"

Draco smirked. "Ok, Hufflepuffs count, but I hope that he is the only one."

"He is," said Hermione trying not to laugh, then she looked at Draco waiting.

He sighed. "I forbid you to laugh," he said, glaring, "Lavender Brown."

"Lavender?" she asked raising her back from the bed. "When?"

"A couple of years ago," he said matter-of-factly, "But it lasted only a week; she already had a thing for your Weasley friend."

"Only a week? Did it last longer with Pansy and Millicent?" she asked, surprised.

"Actually," he said seriously, "With Millicent, it lasted for almost a month and I have not yet managed to get Pansy out of my way."

"What do you mean? That you and she still hang out together?" she asked looking at him.

Draco smirked. "Are you jealous, Miss Granger?"

"Me? Jealous of Pansy Parkinson? Rubbish," she said blushing.

"Oh, of course," he said sarcastically, "Then?"

Hermione snorted again. "Seamus Finnigan."

This time Draco just nodded. "Padma Patil."

Hermione almost choked, but didn't say anything about that. "Now if you are going to laugh, I swear that I'll leave you here alone."

Draco raised his eyebrows. "Why should I laugh? He can't be worse than that Hufflepuff boy, can he?"

Hermione lowered her eyes, suddenly interested in her hands. "Neville Longbottom," she murmured.

"What?" asked Draco leaning down.

"Neville Longbottom," she repeated louder.

Draco looked at her. "And you dared to laugh at Pansy and Millicent!"

Hermione turned a bright magenta colour. "W-well he had a crush on me and I-I felt sorry about him, he was always all alone and-"

"Yeah, yeah," Draco cut her off. "You have been such a nice girl, poor little Longbottom would have end up with nobody else. Lucky he found you," he said and couldn't help but to laugh.

"Oh shut your mouth," she said hiding her face under the sheet. Draco's laughter faded away only some minutes later. Hermione looked at him, "Have you finished?" she asked sourly.

Draco nodded, "Marietta Edgecombe."

Hermione emerged from under the sheet. "Was that before or after her little pustules problem?"

"Before," said Draco calmly, "Although she did ask me out last year. You did really a good job with her face; I cannot even look at her," he said amused.

"I didn't do anything to her face, she did all by herself. If she didn't be the sneak, she wouldn't have the word on her face," she said matter-of-factly.

Draco smiled, "A point for you," he said. Hermione didn't answer. "Will you go on, Miss Granger?" asked Draco calmly.

"Actually, Malfoy, I've already listed," she counted on her fingers, "Five boys. Aren't they enough?"

"They will be enough if they are all the boyfriends you have had," said Draco smirking.

"Actually there is still one to go," she said twisting her hands.

"Well?" asked Draco raising his eyebrows.

"Ron Weasley," she said simply.

Draco seemed a little bit taken aback. "Weasel? When?"

"Last summer, I spent all the summer at his house. Well I've spent lots of summers at his house, but the last one has been quite funny," she said thoughtfully.

"Funny?" he asked in a high tone of voice, "But everything ends up all right between you two?"

Hermione looked at him, "Why are you asking that? Do you feel threatened?" she asked and couldn't help smiling.

"What? Don't talk rubbish," he said flushing a little.

"It's your turn," she said giggling.

"Well as you spoke about that Weasley boy – Ginny Weasley," he said without looking at her.

Hermione looked at him, "You're joking!"

"No," he said simply.

"Ginny Weasley? Our Ginny Weasley from Gryffindor?"

"How many Ginny Weasleys do you know?"

"No, I can't believe that. You said her just because I said that I've been with Ron!"

"No, I've been with her. I swear," he said seriously.

"When?"

"At the beginning of this year," he said, then added quickly, "Oh, come on, Granger, she is a little slut, isn't she? How many boyfriends have she had in the few years?"

"Well, she is not a slut, she is just – well – expansive," she said unconvinced.

"Yeah, same thing," said Draco nonchalantly.

"No it's not!" she protested.

"Ok, ok, she is not a slutty girl. Now will you please go on?"

"I can't," she said quickly.

"Why?"

"I told you, Ron was my last one," she said seriously.

"Luckily," said Draco.

"What? Luckily?" she asked, not understanding.

"Yeah, because Ginny Weasley was my last one too," he said matter-of-factly.

Hermione smiled relaxingly, "We're even, then."

"Yeah, but I don't want to be," said Draco annoyed.

"Oh, poor little Drakey, he doesn't want to be even with bookworm Granger," she said imitating Pansy's voice.

"Yeah, you're right," he said glaring at her, "What do you think about a little bet?"

Hermione looked at him, "What are you talking about? I do not understand."

"Exactly what I said: a bet."

"What kind of bet?"

"I bet that I can find another girlfriend before you can find a boyfriend," he said looking at her.

"What do you mean?"

"We will have to win somebody's heart before the other does it," he said thinking hard.

"You are completely mad," said Hermione taking away the sheet and trying to rise from the bed, but Draco held her back.

"Oh well, I understand if you don't want to do it because you are sure that you are not going to win," he said sharply.

Hermione glared at him, "Don't be clever with me. I'm not so stupid. I just don't have time for these things."

"As you prefer, but I'm sure that I would have win," he said nonchalantly, standing up from the bed and starting to put his clothes back on. Hermione looked at him from the bed, then stood up and started to put on her robe.

"Ok, I'm in," she said after a while.

Draco turned towards her and smirked, "I was sure. Well, let me think who you have to make fall for you."

"What? I thought that I would have chosen him," she protested halfway through her shirt.

"And where would the fun be, then?" he asked thinking hard, "You know it would be funny to see you trying to kiss Potterhead."

"First of all, Harry is my friend and his name is Potter. Second, don't you dare!"

"Hmm, you're right; he is your friend so it would be too easy," he said thoughtfully, "Let me think – oh yes," he said suddenly realizing something, "I found the right man for you; a real man, handsome, intelligent, ni-"

"Cut it out," she said waving a hand in front of him.

"Crabbe," he said simply.

Hermione burst into laughter, "Funny, really. Now seriously."

"I'm happy that you think it's funny because the man that you will have to make fall for you is Vincent Crabbe of Slytherin," he said trying not to laugh.

"I want to change it," she protested.

"You can't," he said smiling.

"You are awful," she hissed causing Draco to smile even wider.

"I'm a Slytherin."

Hermione breathed deeply and glared at him, then she seemed to calm down and smiled, "Well, actually I was thinking about a Hufflepuff girl for you, such as Hannah Abbott or Susan Bones."

Draco looked at her with fear in his eyes. Hermione tried not to laugh.

"But don't worry," she stepped next to him, threw her arms around his neck, and leaned her mouth next to his ear, "I'll tell you only two words: Luna Lovegood."

Draco's eyes opened wide, as Hermione let him go and stepped towards the door.

"That's not fair," he said turning towards her.

"I'm sorry, Malfoy, but you can't change it. Good night," she said exiting the room and leaving Draco in the middle of it.

"Shit," he murmured as he exited the door and headed for the Slytherin Common Room.