"What the bugger is wrong with this thing!"
Harry Potter was baffled. This had happened on more than one occasion—especially lately, but he was EXTREMELY baffled at the moment. His, admittedly, crazy Dark Detector was being even crazier than normal. The thing looked as though any moment it was going to simply combust. It was, in fact, teetering on that delicate line between Simply Crazy and All-out Batshit Crazy.
"Can't you do anything to turn it off?" Ron whimpered from the corner of the compartment—pressing his hands over his ears and mentally willing the thing to shut. The. Bloody. Hell. Up.
"Honestly, Harry, you really do have to turn it off. I'm trying to get in all the backstory, if you don't mind! Er, I mean, fill you in on what Professor McGonagall said." Hermione chided from her seat, giving Harry a glare.
"I am TRYING," he hissed through clenched teeth. "The little bugger won't shut it!"
Hermione managed a very scandalized look here—although, honestly, after six-something years in the company of the two boys, this did not seem to be terribly shocking language.
"Yeah, Hermione, what did McGonagall want anyway?" Ron offered from his seat, looking curious—and still rather headachy. "And I say you ought to just chuck it out the window, mate."
Hermione glared at him, but jumped at the opportunity to talk (and talk) uninterrupted.
"She says there's something evil coming to Hogwarts." She said, in a grave voice, speaking only just above a whisper despite the racket the Dark Detector was still making.
"Worse than Voldemort? (Shite, what on earth could be making it go mad like this?)" Harry looked at her quizzically.
She nodded, clearly very pleased to be able to give such important news. "Worse than Voldemort. She says she needs our help."
"What on earth could be so evil that it's worse than—AAAAAAH! MARY-SUE!" Ron broke off in a horrified yell. Hermione and Harry looked at him rather bemusedly. "I mean—GIRL!" He pointed wildly at the entrance of the compartment where there was, indeed, a girl.
Harry and Hermione suddenly felt the rather unexplainable urge to scream as loudly as possible. "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
'That is the worst recording of 'Oops I Did it Again'. If you don't turn it off I'll be forced to write a VERY angry letter to Britney to get her to take you off her fanlisting."
Celestia glared at the trio who were—at the moment—somewhat blinded by the light bouncing off of her radiant silver hair.
"Err," Harry said, rather lamely, looking down at the Dark Detector which promptly exploded into a thousand suspicious pieces. Hermione and Ron ducked to avoid the flying bolts and pieces.
"You guys are making the others look incredible." Celestia sighed, looking both Harry and Ron up and down very thoroughly nonetheless. With that she turned and sauntered ever so gracefully back out into the hall.
Breathing hard, Hermione turned to her two friends. "I think we found our monster."