This is from an idea I got while writing Return of the Bat. You can call it a prequel if you want. There was a part of chapter eight where I mentioned this and the readers said they enjoyed hearing stories about Yoko and Kuro in their younger days, so here is the full story! If this gets a lot of reviews, it may turn into a two-shot, but for now, this is it. NON-YAOI! Nothing personal to those who like it, I just can't write them.

I own nothing. Enjoy!

"Damn it."

"What now?" Yoko asked, not bothering to roll over. He was sprawled out on a mattress of thick leaves, trying to get some sleep before morning came, but that damned bat would not shut up.

"I still can't believe it wasn't there."

"You've been in disbelief since noon. It's nearly three o'clock in the morning. I think you're a little past time for denial."

"It should have been there. We've tried everywhere else it could have been."

"Really, Kuro? Everywhere?"

"You know what I mean!"

"I know I'm going to GET mean if you don't shut up and go to sleep."

"How am I supposed to sleep? We've been looking for that fortress for almost a year! Now we're out in the middle of nowhere with nothing to show for it!"

"Then simply shut up so I can sleep."

"Unsympathizing, heartless bastard."

"Goodnight, Kuro... for the eighteenth time..."

"Whatever."

The bat gave in. Yoko wasn't going to listen to him any more tonight. He got off the rock he'd been sitting on, ducking his head so as not to hit it on the cave's low ceiling, and crawled into his own "bed" of leaves. He laid there quite a while before he dozed off.

The next thing Kuronue knew, he heard two familiar voices a little distance away. One was Yoko's. The other, he suspected to belong to Ko, a fellow thief. He opened his eyes, then squinted them, holding his hand up to block the light flooding into the shallow cave.

He got up, and dragged himself to the entrance, muttering choice words at the sun.

"You look like something the cat drug in," the red spirit fox said.

"What the hell do you want? And if it's another ass-kicking, come back at noon. I don't feel like it yet."

"Kuro, it's nearly two o'clock in the afternoon," Yoko said.

"Damn. Then you kick his ass this time."

"I don't recall either of you ever kicking my ass. The last round with Yoko was a draw. And that's not what I came for anyway," Ko said.

Kuro looked at Yoko, waiting for an explanation.

"He was just telling me that our problems might be solved."

"Someone invented a pill that cures women of ugly?"

"I wish," Ko mumbled.

"There is a thief hiding in the woods on the outskirts of Ruto village. The word is that he found the map that leads to our fortress, and he's looking to sell."

"Guild member?" he asked. Both foxes smiled their trademark mischievous grins. "In other words, he's going to leave it to us on his deathbed," he said, joining in on the evil looks. Members of the Thieves Guild weren't allowed to harm other members, but since this guy wasn't one, he was fair game. "But wait, why are you telling us?"

"I've got no use for it. There's another little adventure for me south of the guild. I'll let you two have this one, as long as you don't forget the favor later," Ko replied.

"That works," Kuro said. He could read Yoko's face well enough. Whatever deal Ko had in mind was already discussed before he got out of bed, but if Yoko was fine with it, so was he. Especially since he didn't feel like talking to Ko all day to throw in his two cents.

"Well, I'm off. I don't wanna stay in one place too long with those damn Vigilante pricks running around."

"Vigilante? Don't tell me they're back in town!" Kuro said.

"Yes," Yoko said. "Apparently a large group of them. They're apprehending every crook who's stolen so much as a slice of bread in the last decade."

"Yippee." Kuro was not enthused by this. He'd had his fair share of run-ins with this particular group of bounty hunters, both before and after he teamed up with Yoko. If they got wind of them being around, there was going to be trouble...

They bade Ko farewell, then gathered their belongings. They were soon on the trail that led back to Ruto. Along the way, they encountered other thieves, all guild members, who warned them of the bounty hunters.

They had snatched up at least ten other guild members this week alone. That was bad enough. If one member of the guild got caught, it looked bad against all the rest. But there was more news, even more insulting. Those guild members had just pulled heists. They'd all been carrying quite a load of treasure when they were caught. What did the hunters plan to do with that treasure? Spend it on more weapons; weapons to kill the other thieves. That was a slap in the face to all the guild.

While Yoko, a master of stoic logic, didn't let this get to him, Kuro was fuming. He was taking all this as a personal insult. Something had to be done about these bastards.

They stopped in at the guild on their way up north. It was a safe haven for thieves. They could sleep in peace there, since no law-man in his right mind would come within twenty miles of the place. It didn't hurt that there was liquor and few dozen easy women there either.

They went up to The Loft; one of two taverns in the guild. The Cellar was the other. They were named appropriately. The Loft was for the higher ranking thieves, while The Cellar was for the common pick-pocketers and horse thieves.

Not long after they arrived, they were swarmed by women; nothing unusual with their reputations. Kuro excused himself from the fun for a few minutes to talk to the barkeeper; the man who heard every bit of dirt about everything and everyone illegal.

"Goodta see ya 'round these parts again! Sad to see the lassies saw ya, too, though!" the big man laughed as he poured Kuronue a beer. Judging by the glazed over look in all six of his eyes, the man had drank quite a few of those tonight, himself. "Been awfully quiet in this necka the woods without ya."

"Yeah, but we didn't just come to swill ales and tell tales this time around. Just passin' through."

"On yer way to?"

"Ruto. What have you heard about a map for sale?"

"Ruto's a bad place to be headin' t'wards. Them damn Vigilantes already got their mitts on the crook yer lookin' fer anyhow."

"Oh, they did?" Kuro asked, his ears perking up.

"Aye. Gottim yesterday, they did. Heard there wouldn'ta reward fer him so they're plannin to tie a noose fer his neck."

'Saves Yoko and I the trouble...' "Heard where they're at right now?"

"They been hangin right around Ruto fer awhiles now. Everybody and his damn brother heard tell o' that map and they all went huntin' fer it. Didn't know 'til it was too late that they was the idjits bein' hunted. Map's worked good fer bait."

"I wonder how they'd like to be on the receiving end of that game."

"Don't go makin' fools' mistakes, lad. Yer above it."

"Course I'm above it. I'm not going to make any mistakes. I'm going to raise Hell the right way."

"Fool's errand."

"We'll see."

The big bartender shook his head. He wouldn't admit it, but he didn't doubt the bat. If anyone was capable of turning the most feared group of bounty hunters in all the Demon World into a bunch of jackasses, it was Yoko and Kuronue.

It wasn't long before Kuronue returned to the table where Yoko was. The fox was currently about three sheets to the wind, since the girls around him were not what Kuronue would have deemed beauty queens.

'Oh, well. Tell him in the morning... I'll have to tell him which ones he spent the night with, too.' Kuro grinned to himself. The best part of their trips to the guild had always been what happened when Yoko got beer goggles. This was the only place in Makai that Yoko would let loose and drink his fill. He drank in other places, but here he was completely safe from the law enforcement, and he didn't have to be as cautious as usual. He was still on guard; if someone tried to attack him, he would have been able to take care of it. The women got prettier long before his senses dulled. And Kuronue was always quick to remind him about it the morning after...

Eventually, he'd snagged a few girls of his own, showing them that Yoko was obviously 'booked' for the night. One more trick he'd learned. Let Yoko get plowed first, so the ugly girls could get his attention, then the bat had his choice of the good-looking ones.

'One of these days he'll catch on... but until then...' Kuro stood up and went to his room, three girls hanging off of him.

The next morning...

Kuronue sat up in bed. His head felt like there was a mallet on either side of it, pounding continuously against his temples.

"Musta been a good one," he said to himself. The girls were long gone. He grabbed the edge of the bed and dragged the rest of his body to it. When he stood, the pain got worse, and someone kept tilting the room on him. After the shock wore off, or subsided anyway, he took a shower and headed to the area in front of the main gates. He knew Yoko would be there... sooner or later...

Yoko arrived within ten minutes. From the way he was squinting, Kuronue knew he wasn't alone in the hangover department.

"Bout time. I've been waiting half the day," Kuro lied, trying to annoy the fox.

"Oh, how horrible for you, standing here waiting, while I frolicked merrily through the guild gathering supplies with an ungodly hangover and the damned sun beaming directly in my eyes no matter what direction I turn!" he growled.

"That's alright. I forgive you. Just don't let it happen again."

Yoko gave Kuronue a look that would have made King Yama need a change of underwear. The bat merely smiled in response. One of these days he was going to choke the life out of that annoying little-

"Yoooookooooo! Oh, Yoooookooooo!"

Both sets of eyes shifted to the window of one of the buildings. An older woman was leaning out, waving to the fox.

"Don't tell me."

"You did," Kuro laughed.

"Dear God."

"Yooookoooo! You're not leaving are you? You could come back up here for a few minutes if you want!"

Kuronue turned to face the gate, so the woman couldn't see him straining to keep from bursting into a fit of laughter. Yoko's wide-eyed expression of horror just made it funnier.

The fox turned his back to the woman, and gave Kuronue a light shove on his shoulder. He mouthed the words "Go. Go. GO!"

As soon as they got past the gates, Kuro let it go, guffawing until he gasped for air. The fox's tail bushed out. He was NOT happy.

"Why didn't you do something?"

"Like what?" Kuronue asked, wiping water away from his eyes.

"You knew!"

"You did it! Not my fault!"

Yoko growled. There was no way he was going to win this fight and he knew it. They started walking again, Kuro still chortling.

"So tell me, with teeth or without?" he asked, starting another good laughing fit.

"Shut up," Yoko growled.

"Did she have to roll 'em up to get her bra back on?" he asked, still laughing.

"One more word, Kuronue..."

There was silence, except for the occasional laugh; but it didn't last long...

"Did her wig come off when you grabbed her hair?"

"THAT'S IT!"

They went into a sparring match, which Kuronue lost by a landslide. It was kind of hard to fight someone like Yoko while you were laughing...

After a long trip, full of teasing, they got to the mountain region near Ruto. Yoko had been collecting info that morning about the whereabouts of the hunters, and Kuro already knew that they had the map. With all the prisoners they had taken, the hunters had been slowed to a crawl, only getting a couple miles each day. They had to set up camp every night, and they were incapable of taking the mountains without running the risk of one of the prisoners escaping, or a group effort by all of them to escape and kill their captors. Aside from that, there was a chance that some of these thieves had partners lurking out there, waiting to attempt a "jailbreak."

They were forced to spend their nights sleeping in the valleys; right out in the open. They thought they were safer that way; that they could see in all directions. It also meant that they could be seen from all directions, but they hadn't taken that part into account...

Yoko and Kuronue observed them from the mountains. They calculated their current speed, and the direction they were headed. They took the road conditions and surroundings into account. How long it would take to set up camp for that many men; where there was enough room to set up the tents; where they could find fresh water.

They determined roughly where they were going to set up, then they took off. They located the area they suspected to be the future camp. They picked a couple of trees that were filled with lush greenery. No one would be able to spot them through the leaves from on the ground, but they could see each other just fine. They'd be communicating through hand signals later, so that would be important. All they had to do now was wait. Both kicked back and relaxed in the foliage, enjoying the peace before the sheep arrived for slaughter...

It didn't take long for the sheep to arrive. They set up camp, just like the bandits had thought they would. The boys watched them from just off the side of the campground, still in their trees. A full moon came out, lighting the area. After a while, the hunters went to their tents, leaving a single guard to watch the area and the prisoners.

'Give me a break! One guard? They could at least act like they've got some sense! They're supposed to be the best in the biz! I thought I'd get a little bit of a challenge!' Kuro thought. He watched Yoko, waiting for the signal. A few minutes later, they were both on the ground, silently stalking their prey.

Kuronue went for the guard. He crept up behind him, and hooked his scythe under his chin. Before the guard knew he was there, his Adam's apple had parted company with the rest of his body.

Yoko had went for the treasure. He pulled back a flap on one of the tents. He'd seen this man carrying the map in a side-pack earlier. Sure enough, there was the side-pack, lying on the floor next to the snoring bounty hunter. Yoko seized it without a sound, then headed back outside to the chests they'd been carrying.

He produced a few seeds from his hair, and some curious-looking creatures evolved from them. They resembled Venus flytraps, but there were leaves on their "backs" that looked a lot like wings. Yoko picked the locks on the chests, then fed the treasure to the plants. When one got full, it flew off. Yoko knew where they were going. He'd planted the female of the species next to the entrance of the cave he and Kuro planned to hide in that night. The males would seek them out, and Yoko and Kuro would be free to "play" here without getting loaded down with the spoils.

After all was loaded up, they left word with the prisoners not to try anything. They would be free, just not yet. Yoko smiled at his partner as he spread out a batch of seeds. He sowed them all over the camp. When he was done, playtime.

They got to the edge of the camp, then Kuronue threw his scythes at the tents. As soon as one hit, he summoned it back to his hand and hurled it at another. It didn't take long for every man in the place to get out of his tent. They saw the bandits and went into hot pursuit, quite a few of them in nothing more than their undies.

"I think I got their attention," Kuro said, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"Imagine that," Yoko replied, giving a sly smile in return. They bolted between the trees, weapons whizzing past them on all sides. They were purposely running slower than usual. They wanted to have a little fun out of this.

An ax sailed past Yoko and took out a poor defenseless chipmunk who was trying scurry back up its tree; not that it would've mattered if he'd made it. An energy blast came by him, and turned the tree into a tall, skinny mound of charcoal.

Kuronue dodged a mace that had been intended to beam him just below the ponytail. He jumped an energy blast and bounced off of a tree branch just in time to miss a hex. He wasn't taking much time to over think the mechanics of the attacks, but he thought that hex was the kind that sealed energy. He zigzagged between a few more trees, missing yet more hexes. Some were the kinds that drained energy; he could tell by the withering trees they'd struck, not to mention the mosquitoes that were dropping out of the air with exhaustion after they'd taken hits. These guys were even hitting gnats! Kuronue stood six-foot-four and he weighed in at over 220. How were they hitting insects and missing him? The crooks they'd captured just might have deserved to die if they couldn't best these idiots...

Yoko closed his eyes and evaded the artillery fired his way. He heard the sound of rifles, but it didn't bother him. He could sense where the projectiles were going to hit. There were bullets flying, airborne axes, fried furry woodland creatures, soaring spears, swishing swords, and more than a few daggers and knives. He'd let them get near him a few times, if for no other reason than to encourage the men to keep chasing them. Every time they got close enough to make a decisive attack, Yoko weaved in and out of their weapons' paths with some kind of strange balletic grace. Too bad they weren't bright enough to see that they were being baited.

Kuronue was doing the same thing. He'd let them get close, then pull away. The idiots kept firing; the idiots kept missing. They were missing the targets anyway. They'd hit damn near everything else in the forest...

"Did you know evolution could reverse?" he asked Yoko, running alongside him.

"Not until tonight," he laughed.

"With as many weapons as they've used, primordial ooze could've at least scratched us by now!"

"I think I heard an owl saying 'give ME the damned gun!' a few minutes ago," Yoko joked.

Kuronue laughed as a row of arrows sank into the tree beside him. "Think those things have had time to take root?"

"Probably," Yoko answered.

"Shall we?"

"After you," Yoko responded.

Kuronue leaped into the branches, and started bounding from one to the next, followed closely by the fox. They cranked up to full speed, and within seconds, their pursuers had lost all traces of them.

They went around the mountains, and wound up on a cliff overlooking the camp. They'd beaten the hunters there by at least five minutes. They'd already had time to find comfortable seats for the show.

As soon as the hunters had settled down on the ground to catch their breath, the seeds Yoko had planted sprang to life. Large, carnivorous pods shot out of the earth and devoured everything close. They even tried to get to the prisoners who were, luckily, still locked in their cell.

The fox and the bat watched it all with sadistic smiles.

"Think that'll teach the bounty hunters to stay off our asses?" Kuronue asked, popping a stolen piece of jerky in his mouth. Not like the owner would need it now... not since he WAS jerky...

"I should hope, but then again, the stupidity of men never ceases to amaze me."

"How much did we make?"

"More than we've made in our last three jobs combined."

Kuronue's face lit up with an evil smirk. "Who says crime doesn't pay?"

Yoko leaned back against a rock. "Well, what should we do tomorrow?"

"Who should we do it to, you mean."

"That does sound a bit more accurate. There's bound to be some poor fool in need of an executioner."

Kuronue smiled, looking up to the sky. The full moon had now changed colors. Where white light had been, there was now a caul of red to mask it. A sign of a great bloodshed.

"Man, I love being a bad guy."

Reviews? Pwease? I think this is the longest single entry I've wrote!