Well...the end of this story looms ever nearer...

Chapter 18 - Together Once More

I peeked into the bedroom; Aria was asleep. She had arrived nearly a week and a half ago. Mostly, Aria slept, but I didn't care. I slipped into the room, sneaking over to her bed. We had not been able to talk for a few days; She felt almost recovered one day and had been, against my will, up on her feet. It had taken until today for her to regain her strength.

I watched her sleep, a peaceful smile creeping upon my face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw an unfamiliar book lying on the edge of Aria's bedside table. I picked it up, fingering the deep green leather cover. I flipped it open lazily, and froze. Written in messy, large letters, was:

The Diary of Aria Silver

'Ware my wrath!

I chuckled nervously at the second line, then stole a guilty glance at Aria before I sat down and picked a random spot.

The first of December, 1872

I have arrived completely unharmed from Grandmama's, except for an unrelenting black mood at seeing my dictatoring parents. God forbid they continue to oppose me.

Why should I have to fret over my reputation when I become an opera singer? All of those bloody suitors are so boring, though Pippa in all her charm seems to steal half of mine. The only one I ever showed interest in was shocked by my boyish ways when he found out more about me. Fools, all of them!

Aria.

I smiled inwardly, and skipped several pages ahead.

The 24 of December, the same year for now.

Oh diary; I thought I was the worst off person in this entire world. I am wrong.

I have aquired my dream job, at the Opera House. The managers accepted me readily, and the ballet teacher informed me to beware of the House's legendary "Opera Ghost".

My breath hitched as I read on,

I must admit I scoffed them in my head, taking them for fools. A man living in tunnels...beneath an Opera House? What foolishness!

But, as I settled into the dormitories, and was shoving some things under my bed, I spotted a nail sticking from the wall. I thought it was merely a nail that a builder had been too lazy to hammer all the way, but I didn't want anyone to hurt themselves on it. So I tugged it, and to my complete astonishment, the wall opened! I ran to Meg and wheedled her into exploring, although she kept talking about 'The Ghost's wrath.' Now I was a little more inclined to believe, but then I thought it was a real ghost, the remnent of a dead man. What harm could come to that? But, just in case, I kept my hand up.

A lasso was throw over my neck, and I almost died of surprise. When I turned, I met the most woe-begotten man in this world.

He was tall, very tall. His clothes were all black, so black that his legs faded into the darkness of the tunnel. I couldn't see well, but I could make out his face fair enough.

He had very pale skin- which could have been fixed with a few days in the sun, with a white mask covering most of the right side. His black hair was neatly slicked back.

But his eyes; Beautiful green orbs that wailed in agony.

When Erik- that's his name- finally released me, I knew I'd be back. Because we share common grounds; He loves music, he has no family, and he is lost, like me.

Aria.

My hands slightly trembling, I turned the pages to a further date.

Sometime. Whenever.

I've a new friend. Dear Erik; we have met several times now. I do believe you could call us friends. I simply can't resist being around him...sometimes what I say makes him smile; Such a beautiful smile! He's only laughed once, but such a wonderful sound. Like...I don't know, but a deep, sincere sound. I really enjoy his company- a lot more than these horrid girls in the dormitories. One thing happens and they blame it on Erik...they say he has yellow skin and hollow eyes. They are so cruel!

I have been- amazingly- appointed to the part of Aphrodite. That's not going to up my points with the darling hags. It is a strange role but rather fun...and Hans is ever the gentleman. What a wonderful beau he would make!

I suffered several minutes of raging jealousy before reading the next bit.

But he is not nearly as handsome as Erik.

Aria.

I read on, my heart becoming more and more ashamed of itself.

Oh...my heart's gone away, diary. I played that special piece for Erik tonight...

and in my passion for it, I cried. I didn't see him get up, but suddenly his arms were around me. We were so close together, so close. I was filled with the strangest sensations, diary. A niave girl like me is unused to such things...

The next passage made those instant tears pour.

He finally came to see me, on the roof. He looked so beautiful in the lights of the fireworks. Erik, his face very timid- more timid than I had ever seen him- asked me to dance.

I said yes, of course. Oh, the wonder of his hands! His arms around me; I couldn't breathe, diary. My heart was speeding out of control...I wanted to shout out to the whole wide world. "I love you!" I wanted to tell him. But my mind- not my heart, for it knows no rationale- knew that he did not love me. Erik only puts up with me because I'm all he has, and the truth hurts, diary. But it seemed so real. When he pulled back, his eyes were so amazing. They are usually so broken, but they seemed to be shining, and I fantsied that he looked happy.

And then, it happened. Oh...the feeling of Erik's lips on mine! He was so tender, so shy...the same way I felt. I could feel his heaving chest beneath my fingers...I felt his own in my hair. It felt so real...

My hands shook, my body shook...my heart quaked in an effort to keep reading. She loved me! She loved me!

...But, like everything good in this world, he pulled away to see Christine. Ah, Christine. She's a masterpiece, and I can understand why Erik fell for her. Diary, he'll never love me, not when someone like her is around. She seemed to just glow.

It is alright to dream; but dreaming too far just wounds the heart. It's better to stay with both feet- and both mind and heart- on the ground.

But nothing will change...because I love him.

Aria.

Someday in some year.

Erik is terribly sick. Luckily I caught him before Death did...I saw his face for the first time- I mean all of it. I was a little frightened, I hate to say, but it didn't take me long to adjust...I just hadn't known what to expect, so once I overcame surprise, I realized he was the same, beautiful Erik as always.

I was getting closer and closer to a total breakdown. Tears rushed down my face.

I read the diary, my anguish growing.

Christine came to visit Erik today,...

I gulped knowing what was coming next.

...What things Erik yelled at me. I feel as though...as though I am on fire. I wish he would have done anything- anything- else. Hit me, hang me, kill me. But not tell me I was worthless. Not that I meant nothing to him. Oh diary, I am dying.

My hands shook harder and harder; I let a moan of grief slipped from my lips. After a moment of struggling, I forced myself under control. I had to finish reading this. I had to know she still loved me. Unable to finish that entry, I skipped closer to the end.

I thought the worst thing he could do to me was tell me I meant nothing. Now I know Erik can do worse. He had to run from the Populaire, but...I wish he wouldn't have taken my heart along.

I'm finding it so hard to let him go, diary...Nothing is fun or enjoyable anymore when I realize I won't be able to meet Erik afterwards and laughing with him about it. I don't sing as well because I know he is not listening. Reyer and Fayette haven't noticed, but dear Meg and Hans have. They, Madame Giry, and Monsieur Khan continually ask me what is wrong. I can tell Madame Giry and the Persian, because they know Erik. But they wouldn't really understand...They are both so afraid of Erik, and Nadir treats him as both a god and a monster. I cannot stand hearing him talk of Erik like that.

Aria.

I turn the page; She's sick now, I can see. The writing is faint and hard to read. I swallow with difficulty.

I thought I would get over Erik, move on, but I cannot. Oh, I cannot! I miss him so, so much. I cannot sing anymore, my voice is broken. Hans and Meg and Madame Giry are so kind, to care for me. In my vurneralblity, Hans gently presses his court. I love Hans dearly, but not for a beau. No, no one but Erik. Hans caught me crying today and demanded to know what was going on. I told him everything. He didn't take too well to my love of Erik, but otherwise was content to listen and hold me while I poured out my story.

Oh diary. I love Erik so much; I'm dying of love. I know I'm getting closer to Death's gates. I can read it on the faces of my friends. But, I know it is ridiculous, but without Erik I cannot live. Not a day goes by when I don't think of him. I love him, I love him, I love him!

"Erik...what're you doing?"

I shook so hard I could barely keep my seat. Sobs began to rack my body, tears began again to rush from my eyes.

"Erik?" Aria asked, sleepy and worried.

I stand up and turn, my sobs growing louder as I stare at her. Oh, the torment I have had without Aria...she has had it 10 fold!

She opened her eyes and looked at my screwed up, agnozied face.

"Erik- Erik, what...?" she saw the diary. "You...read my diary...?"

A hot flush colored her pale face. She reached for it, but I clutched the book to my heart.

"Aria..." I wailed.

I let the sobs pour, my shoulders wrenching from them.

I dropped the book and slowly sit down next to Aria, tears dropping onto her blanket.

"Aria!" I whispered tearfully.

"Erik...I...I want to talk to Erik!" She said, looking stern.

I didn't understand.

"You are the Opera Ghost." She murmured, reaching up with a weak hand and removing my mask and wig. "Now you are Erik."

I crumpled over her, my anguish complete. I slipped my arms beneath her and hold her close, burying my face in Aria's shoulder.

"Aria! Aria forgive me...I'm so so so sorry!" I moaned. "Please, please...forgive me...I didn't mean...I was so scared...so frightened...Oh please, Aria, please don't hate me! I don't deserve you, not at all! Please please please, forgive me! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you so much! S-s-so m-m-much..." I dissolved into loud sobs, unable to continue.

I felt Aria's arms slip, feeble, around my waist. One of them trailed up my back, and her fingertips caressed the back of my head.

"Shhh, Erik...did you not read it? I do not hate you...I can never hate you...you are forgiven."

My sobs began to dissipate; I shifted my position, lying beside her, sinking swiftly into sleep as she breathed soft words into my ear.