Disclaimer: Yadda yadda yadda.

This is longest chapter so far, and (accordingly) took me the longest time to write. Thanks to my Gamma, Lamia, who finally began Gammaing this chapter.

'Oh… god,' murmured Sarah, while Lily glared around at her friends and the Marauders.

'Oh god what, Sarah?' snapped Lily, advancing towards her, having picked on her as a target, 'Who was the one that wanted me to go on this date? You!'

'Actually, it was Caroline,' pointed out Suzie. Lily ignored her, and swooped over to her.

'And the little non-entity Suzie! Who wouldn't put me off, just rambling on about choices and how I was the one who had to choose! If you'd given one word of opinion for once in your life, you would have been able to stop this date. And wouldn't we all be plus content?'

Suzie swallowed and desperately tried not to cry at this cold, verbal abuse from Lily, and the way Lily had thrown their special foreign languages thing back at her in such a hurtful way. Caroline's eyes flashed dangerously, and she strode forward, and slapped Lily open handed. There was an audible smacking sound as her palm connected with Lily's face. Lily stepped backwards, gasping and putting her hands to her stinging cheek. She suddenly hunched her back and stormed towards Caroline, her hand raised to hit her back. Caroline grabbed her arm before Lily made contact.

'Don't hit me, Lily,' she said calmly.

'You hit me!' shrieked Lily, struggling to get her arm out of Caroline's grasp.

'You deserved it. Apologise to Suzie,' said Caroline. It was strange. Caroline didn't really lose her temper when she got angry. She just became very serious. The angrier she was, the less she let it show. It could be very creepy.

'What for? What I said is true!' Caroline slapped Lily again.

Suzie could no longer hold it, and a tear started rolling down her cheek. Peter, who had been standing next to her, tentatively put his arm around her, patting her on the back.

'Caroline –' started Sarah, but Caroline raised her hand to stop her.

'That wasn't true; it was downright cruel,' she said to Lily, her voice and expression level. 'The way you're acting right now is appalling. I'm almost ashamed to know you.'

She released Lily's arm and stepped back. Lily growled, and was about to say something more when Sarah started yelling.

'Lily, Caroline, stop fighting!' she said, hysterically, 'You're not making the situation any better, Caroline, stop slapping her!'

'Did you hear what she said to Suzie?' asked Caroline in response.

'Yes, I did, and it was horrible, but don't make it worse.'

Caroline and Sarah glared at each other, with Lily glaring at no one in particular behind them. The boys glanced at each other.

'I've always heard that when girls fight it's sexy, but this is just scary,' said Sirius. All the girls turned their heads to him, with angry looks on their faces after this particularly tactless comment. Lily strode forward.

'You,' she hissed. She sneered at him, then turned on her heel and stormed up the stairs. Once they were sure she was gone, everyone turned to him.

'What happened?' everyone yelled, overlapping each other, but getting their point across. Sirius, looking flustered, turned to James.

'I only did what you told me to!'

Remus put his head in his hands.

'Sirius,' he said calmly, 'You have realised that James has been pursuing Evans for years, right?'

'Yes…'

'So he probably wouldn't want anyone else to go out with her?'

'Yes…'

'And so he might have, uh, given you information that might not have been entirely true?'

'Yes…' said Sirius. Remus raised his eyebrows as far as they could go, and nodded, his hand gesticulating to try and get Sirius' brain to process what he'd said. Sirius' mouth suddenly opened and he closed his eyes, as if in pain, 'Oh… god.'

'Yes. Quite,' said Sarah, 'Whatever did you say to him, Potter?'

'Um,' said James, biting his lip, 'That Lily loved stealing food from the kitchens. And sneaking to Hogsmeade at night. And pranking the Slytherins…'

The boys watched the amusing spectacle of the girls all gasping, groaning and glaring at James. Caroline stepped forward, as the wordlessly chosen ringleader.

'Potter, I always knew you were an idiot, but you've surpassed my expectations on that front. Lupin, Pettigrew – you're idiots for not telling Black about it. And Black, after knowing Lily for six years you must have known he was lying. Since you didn't, well… you're the biggest idiot of the lot.'

She stared at each of them in turn, taking in their guilty looks with satisfaction, before turning away and heading up to bed. Sarah and Suzie followed. Suzie glanced back at the boys; Sirius looked annoyed, James looked nervous, and Remus and Peter were having a whispered conversation. Suzie sighed and looked ahead of her again before she bumped into something.

'And Black?' yelled Caroline, from a few steps up, 'We're not going to give up on this! We'll work on bringing her around!'

'You may not be giving up, but I am!' Sirius yelled back. Caroline laughed in an eerie way, but said no more. Instead, she arrived at the door and opened it. Lily was there, sitting in bed in her pyjamas, a book on her lap.

'Lily?'

There was no reply.

'Lily, I know you're there. We can see you.'

Lily turned a page of her book.

'LILY!'

Lily looked up, a saccharine smile plastered upon her face. 'Yes, that's my name.'

'Lily, what happened?' asked Sarah, stepping towards her.

'Whatever do you mean, Sarah?'

'On your date,' snapped Caroline, 'Stop being silly and give us a proper answer!'

'Oh,' said Lily, rolling her eyes and grinning, 'On my date! You mean, the one which you told me to go on!'

'Lily –'

'Ah, well, if you mean that date… It was… well, to put it politely… the worst time I've ever had.' She swept her eyes over her friends, and then pursed her lips and looked away.

'Lily, you're being irritating,' said Sarah, 'We got that it was bad. We understand it was terrible. We have realised you were miserable. Now tell us what happened!'

Lily sighed, and then, alarming the others, started to cry. Her friends, putting all feelings of anger to the side, ran forward, and bounced onto her bed, surrounding her, with Suzie grabbing the box of tissues from the table.

'This – this – this –' Lily blubbered. Sarah had her arms around her, as did Caroline, and Suzie was sitting in front of her, holding out a tissue.

'What is it, Lily?' said Sarah.

'This bed will break under all your weight!'

Sarah laughed, 'Oh, Lily, you're so upset and yet you're still nagging us!'

'I don't particularly want my bed to break, thank you very much,' sniffed Lily, finally taking the tissue from Suzie's tired outstretched arm.

'It won't. It's magic,' said Caroline, 'Now, Lily, calm yourself down and tell us what happened.'

Lily took a few deep breaths, wiped her eyes, gave Caroline and Sarah a comforting squeeze, and said,

'Well. What can I say? It all started off fine. He was very gallant, offered me his arm, and promised me the time of my life. Being a fool, I thought that maybe it wouldn't be so bad, that maybe Caroline was right, I would have fun. So then I took his arm –'

'Yes, yes, you took his arm and left the common room,' said Caroline impatiently, 'and then what?'

'Let me go however slowly I want,' said Lily, giving her a pointed look, 'Anyway, so, we went downstairs, and he told me we'd go somewhere special; somewhere fun, for dinner. I assumed he'd prepared a room, a nice dinner somewhere. It would be perfect; candlelit, pleasant conversation, soft music… Then he came up to some portrait, with fruit on it –'

'Oh, he took you to the kitchens?' said Caroline, looking thoughtful, 'Fun.'

'How do you know?' asked Suzie.

'I always have a stash of chocolate under my bed. Wouldn't I run out if I only got some on Hogsmeade visits?' said Caroline, rolling her eyes.

'Anyway, it was the kitchens, and all these house elves burst out of nowhere, offering me stuff, and calling me Miss Evans like I was some sort of queen!'

'And that's bad because?' said Sarah, raising her eyebrows.

'I'm not some sort of queen! And it's breaking the rules anyway,' said Lily, looking shocked that they didn't understand what was so bad about it.

'Lily, you need to lighten up,' said Caroline. 'What did they serve you, anyway?'

'Roast lamb,' said Lily, 'and roast potatoes, and cabbage, and gravy and…'

'And what?'

'Peas.'

The other three groaned collectively. Lily hated peas. She loathed them. She despised them. She could not stand them! Although the other things Lily loved, she could not eat, or even smell peas without getting the urge to lurch the contents of the past week or so's meals out of her throat.

'Anyway, after that, well, you know how I am with peas. So we had to Scourgify his robes, and although the house elves were nice about me throwing up on their dinner, I couldn't feel more guilty.'

'So did you eat dinner?'

'Yes, we did. He told me he had a back-up plan, and then he put a cloak over me, and guided me somewhere.'

'Where?'

'To some musty tunnel. He put some spell on that witch statue on the fourth floor, and it was behind it.'

'A musty tunnel?'

'How strange!'

'What were you doing in there, Lily?'

'He pulled off the cloak and we went along the tunnel, before coming out… at Honeydukes!'

'Honeydukes?'

'In Hogsmeade?'

'Yes! Completely against the rules, and –'

'There's a tunnel to Honeydukes,' said Caroline, delighted, 'I have to ask Black about it!'

'Caroline!'

'What?'

'The point was that it was a bad idea. Did you not understand this?'

'Oh, no, I understand perfectly, I just don't agree.'

'You're irritating.'

'I know.'

Sarah glared at the pair of them. 'On with the story please!'

Lily sighed and continued, 'So we were in Hogsmeade, at sunset, wandering around, until he led me into…' She paused for dramatic effect. This didn't work, and her friends all made impatient noises, so she continued, rolling her eyes, 'The Hog's Head!'

'Oooh, the Hog's Head, how scary!' said Caroline, 'It's all dark and dirty and… so what?'

'Caroline, he ordered me a Firewhiskey.'

'For dinner?'

'No, after dinner. You know, the Hog's Head actually serves nice roast chicken.'

'Right after dinner?'

'No, we talked for a bit first.'

'About what?'

'It's none of your business.'

'It's entirely my business.'

'Can you just concentrate on the story?' interrupted Sarah, for the second time. Caroline and Lily glowered at each other, and Lily continued,

'Anyway, he ordered me a Firewhiskey –'

'For dinner?'

'Shut up, Caroline. Anyway, so he was drunk or something, and then, although this was ages later, I ordered a sober-up potion, and it worked, but it made him breath fire for a while –'

'That explains the burns,' commented Sarah, who was now working on repairing Lily's scorched clothes. Lily sighed and nodded, and continued,

'Then he asked me to help him prank people, and I refused, slapped him, and stormed off. He followed me, still with that awful fire breath, and then he – he –' Lily broke off.

'What? What did he do?'

'He cast Petrificus Totalus on me!'

'What?'

'Why?'

'Then he put his cloak over me, and released the spell, and we came back here, but, but still!'

'Aw, poor Lily,' cooed Sarah, having now finished repairing Lily's skirt, and moving onto her top, 'But you're back now, and there's no permanent damage. Sorry for insisting you go out with Black.'

'And so you should be,' said Lily haughtily, but she was glaring at Caroline instead of Sarah. After a few seconds of this, Caroline realised she was being stared at and shrugged.

'I have no remorse,' she said simply, 'and anyway, it doesn't sound that bad.'

'You and I have different ideas of what's bad, Caroline.'

'Yes, but my ideas are right, and yours are wrong. Sort them out!'

'Ca-ro-line,' moaned Lily, almost starting to cry again, influenced by the late hour and her low blood sugar levels.

Caroline didn't pick up on this, and continued, raising her hands as if it was a defence, 'Just a wise bit of advice! But my point was, seeing Sirius get drunk and throwing up peas, even with your emotional state of mind at the moment, was no excuse for what you said to Suzie.'

The atmosphere in the room changed to tense. Lily stared at Caroline, then at Suzie.

'What did I say to Suz-' Lily paused and gasped, and burst into tears again, 'Suzie! Oh my God, Suzie! I didn't mean it! I was barely even conscious I was saying it! I'm so sorry!'

She hurried forward and enveloped Suzie in a surprise hug. Suzie patted her back and said, 'Um, it's OK. You're, er, forgiven.'

Lily smiled a wobbly smile, and, seeing this, Sarah announced,

'Caroline, get out your chocolate stash. We're going to eat it.'

'What?'

'Caroline…'

Caroline sighed and obliged to her request. She could always get some more the next day.

A quarter of an hour later, the girls had tucked Lily into bed. They had eaten most of Caroline's supplies of chocolate, and the completely empty tissue box joined the wrappers on the floor. Sarah sighed, and cleaned up the rubbish. She and Suzie shared a contented smile as they heard Lily snoring, which she did do, despite her numerous protests to the contrary. Suzie climbed into her own bed, and barely heard Sarah's 'Good night' or Caroline's 'Catch you later, Suze' as she instantly fell asleep. It had been a tiring evening.

Wires. Yes.

Plus content means happier in French.

Hepsa