RANDOMNESS!
A/N: I have decide to write a fic about what would happen if Red and Purple got a brand-spanking-new plasma TV from BUM! BUM! BUUUUMMMM! EARTH!
Disclaimer/pairings/spoilers (if there are any in Zim)/warnings: I own nothing/no pairings/no spoilers/I haven't had much sleep and now it's 11:09 pm so…expect the unexpected! Also Red bashing.
ONWARD WITH STORY OF SPOOKYNESS AND DOOM!
Purple and Red have just received a package from Zim on Earth.
Purple: Ahh! He's finally found out that his mission is a lie and has sent us explosives!
Red: You! (Points to random commute) Take this to the explosive package-opening compartment and open this!
Commute: But…what if I get exploded?
Red: Well…that's not our problem.
Commute looks sad then takes the package.
He comes back with a giant plasma screen TV, DVD player, Phantom of the Opera DVD, and instructions on how to hook everything up.
Purple: HEY! It's a new TV! Hook it up!
Commute: Yes sir!…actually, sir, I might need some help with this one…sir.
Purple: Very well. Call as many as you need.
The commute took out a brass whistle and blows and little taquito robots come to help set up the TV and DVD player. (A/N: I warned you about the randomness…the monkeys. THE MONKEYS!)
Purple: Umm…do we even make taquito robots?
Red: Ida know. Ask the author.
Purple: Good idea. Miss author person?
Me: Yes, O Mighty Tallest Purple?
Red: Hey! What about me!
Me: I don't care about you. You're stupid.
Red: That's not nice!(Pouts and cries)
Purple: HA!HA! Anyway, what's with the taquito robots?
Me: Oh! Do you not like it? If you want, I can change it to anything you want it to be!
Purple: No, no. They're fine, but just a little random.
Me: Oh. Well I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately so I just type the first thing that pops into my tired little mind.
Purple: You haven't been sleeping well? Do you want me to come over there and sing you Irken lullabies?
Me: Oh yes! That would help me sleep. Just the sound of your sweet voice is a lullaby to me.
Red: (Gagging noize)
Me: Shut up! You're just jealous that no one loves you so nyeh! (Sticks tongue out)
Red: (Starts crying again)
Me: Baby. O Mighty One, would you like me to get on with the story?
Purple: Sure.
Me: It will be as you wish it.
Then the author stopped talking to her not-so-secret crush and his crybaby friend and got on with the fic.
Red has finally stopped crying as the commute and his taquito robots have finished setting up the TV and DVD player.
The commute takes the hallowed remote to Purple.
Purple: Thank you. Now get back to your normal duties. (A/N: Hee, hee…doodie)
The Phantom DVD is in the player so Purple pushes play.
Red then suggests that they see how loud the TV can go so he snatched the remote from the Great One and turned the volume up as high as it could go. (A/N: I am eating a pickle. It is sour.)
The DVD starts and it is an almost head exploding volume.
Great One: RED! TURN IT DOWN!
Crybaby: WHAT! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
They kept yelling back and forth until it got to the chandelier part. (A/N: Uh-oh)
Then that really loud note played and half the ship was blown off.
MEANWHILE…(A/N: THE MONKEYS LEFT BUT NOW THERE ARE WORMS! WORMS!)
Some alien gut is cruising by in his new ship, on his way to Earth, when he hears a huge explosion.
He flies as fast as he can in the direction of the 'splosion. (A/N: DON'T WORRY! THE GREAT ONE IS OK! THE WORMS ARE IN MY ASSMEATS!)
BACK AT THE REMAINS OF THE MASSIVE…(BEES!)
The Great One is floating, looking for the crybaby.
Great One: Red! Red! Where are you!
Then the alien guy's ship arrives and the Great One forgets about the crybaby and asks the guy where he's going.
Guy: To Earth. Why?
Great One: Can ya give me a lift?
Guy: Ok. So what's on Earth?
Great One: I'm going for revenge and because my biggest fan is there.
Guy: Oh.
A FEW HOURS LATER…(A/N: HOLY ASSBLOOD BATMAN! THE CRAZY AUTHOR LADY'S ALMOST DONE!)
Great One: Can't this heap of scrap metal go ant faster?
Me: If you want it to it will.
Guy: Whoa! Who was that?
Great one: My biggest fan.
Guy: Oh. If you wanna get to Earth faster I could hit the 'suicidal speed' button but…
Great One: Go ahead. My biggest fan would never let anything happen to me…I'm not so sure about you though.
Because of the awesome persuasive powers the Great One has the guy pushes the button.
As he suspected he was fin but the guy on the other hand vomited out all of his insides and is now dead.
The ship lands at my school, sending out deadly waves that destroy all I despise.
The Great One finds me nearly falling asleep in my PE class. (A/N: I never dress out so I just watch everyone else.)
He runs over to me picking me up and whisking me away into the sunset on his magic burrito.
THE END!
Please review or I'll find out where you live and mail you my tears and mutant vermin biting things.
AS I FINISH AN HOUR AND TWENTY MINUTES AFTER I STARTED, PURPLE ARRIVES AND SAVES ME FROM THE BEES, WORMS, AND MONKEYS!