Chapter 7

We stand there for a couple of minutes and I have really no idea what's going on. I like the fact that Abby is hugging me, very tight I might add, but I'm also very curious why. I left tonight, because I wanted Abby to think and figure it all out. She obviously wasn't over her break up with Luka yet and she kept calling me 'her friend' and that hurts. I know that that isn't fair, but it's just what I feel, and believe me; I wish I didn't. I just thought she needed some alone time to think everything over before I couldn't contain myself anymore and started pouring my heart out and ended up telling her everything; how I feel about her, how much I love her and want to be with her, and that I want to be her boyfriend and that I'll take much better care of her then Luka, and.. see, this is exactly what I was trying to avoid saying. I'm glad this was all in my head. But I guess she didn't want to sort everything out on her own. She just told me she didn't want to be alone. That she didn't want me to leave. So here I am, standing on the sidewalk, with her in my arms. I feel a cool breeze blowing in my face. I guess we should go inside sometime, as much as I love holding her close to me.

'Abby, I think we should go back inside' I whisper in her hair. I can feel her mumble something against my chest, but I can't quite make out the words. 'I'm sorry, what did you say?' I ask with a hint of laughter in my voice. She takes her head of my shoulder and looks up at me.

'Yeah, you're right. I think I left the door open' she says a little embarrassed. She takes a step back, letting me go. 'Look, I'm really sorry about this and-' I cut her off.

'You know what?' I say, leaning a little closer and I continue in a whisper. 'Why don't we talk about this inside' I nudge with my head towards the house and look at her, smiling.

She smiles at me and nods. I grab her hand and lead her back inside her house. She did in fact leave the door open. Makes sense, I guess, since she came running towards me with such a high speed. I wouldn't have stopped to close a door either. We are now again in the living room and I wonder what's next. Abby is the first to speak.

'You go sit down, I'll go make some new coffee. We never drank the old ones but I think those are cold by now'

'Pretty good chance yeah' I say. 'I'll help you make some new coffee' I grab the two cups of the table and walk to the kitchen, Abby following me. I just didn't feel like sitting and waiting on that couch again. I'm now in the kitchen and look behind me, expecting Abby to be there, but she's not. I could've sworn she was there ten seconds ago. Just then she enters the kitchen.

'Sorry, I thought I'd check on Maggie. She's fine, still asleep' she says, answering my unasked question.

'Good. Where do you keep the coffee?' I ask.

'Right… here' she says, while grabbing it out one of the cabinets. 'Why don't you go sit down, I'll be right there'

'First you want me to come back here and then you don't want me near you' I say, tilting my head, watching her reaction. She just keeps looking at the coffee she's making.

'That's not true' I hear her finally whisper. She looks up at me with her big brown eyes.

'No, I think it is true' I say. Oops, that came out a little harsh. I continue in a softer voice, so she won't think I'm mad at her, which I'm not by the way. 'It's okay, but I really want to understand why. I'll give you your space now, I'll go to the living room, but I'm getting a little worried here. And confused. I don't know what you want anymore' I look at her, seriously now. I can see she feels really bad about it. I put my hand on her shoulder and squeeze it lightly. 'Whenever you're ready,' and I leave the kitchen.

I go sit on the couch, expecting to be there for a while. I thought Abby would be in that kitchen as long as possible, prolonging the moment. I'm really surprised when I see Abby storming into the room, with no coffee and looking angry.

'Do you really think that! That I don't want you near me?' she is now standing in front of me, towering over me since I'm on the couch, and she talking in a very low voice, as if trying not to yell at me. I don't know what to say. Was that a rhetorical question? I guess not, since she's looking at me, expectantly.

'I- I- I don't know' I say very timid. I don't know what's the right answer here and I'm afraid I'll say something wrong. 'I don't know what to think anymore, I-' I want to continue but when I look at Abby, I see tears in her eyes again. Did I just make her upset? Are those tears of anger? I really don't know what's going on anymore. How did everything get to be so complicated?

I'm startled when she suddenly speaks again. Her voice is now soft and almost a whisper. 'I can't do this John'

'You can't do what? Abby, I don't understand. I'd love to understand. I'm sure we can work things out, whatever it is. Just tell me what it is that's bothering you'

'John, I can't. I'm sorry I'm making this so complicated, really, but-'

'Why don't you come sit and we can talk okay?' I try.

'No I don't want to sit down! You don't understand it, do you?'

'Maybe I would if you just told me! Abby, it's me. You know you can trust me' I look at her, trying to make eye contact, but she avoids it. She's looking anywhere but at me. Now she even walks away. She walks to the window, looking at the sky. It's dark again, so there are a million of stars shining. I remember just last night, us looking at the stars. I hear a stuffed sob coming from her and I see her reflection in the window. I see the tears in her eyes. I don't know what to do. She doesn't want to talk, but she also didn't want me to leave. So what now? Am I supposed to sit here for the rest of the night? Well, I'm not going to do that. She just has to tell me what's wrong. I stand up and walk towards her. I approach slowly, trying not to scare her away. I stand next to her. I want to take her in my arms so badly, but I don't know if that's such a good idea. Not right now, anyway. We just stand there for what feels like hours, but is probably only two minutes. Then I hear her whisper something. I didn't catch the entire phrase, just one word: Luka. Great, here we go again. But hey, I'm not going to complain. At least she's talking to me. But I want to know what she'd said.

'I'm sorry, what'd you say?'

She turns towards me, but doesn't look at me. Not in my face anyway. She takes a deep breath and then whispers 'Luka was right.' Luka was right? About what? What did he say? I'm thinking really hard, but I don't understand.

'Abby, I'm sorry, I don't understand. What did Luka say that was right? You don't think the part about you choosing to get your mother was wrong, right?'

'No, not that, just the person I went with' she says, and then she looks at me. I don't know what to think.

'So..' I say while thinking how to put this, '..you're upset that you took me with you instead of Luka?'

'No, I'm not' she says, and she distances herself from me again by sitting on the couch. 'Not at all. It's just that, it makes all my feelings so much more complicated' I look at her, sitting there on the couch. She looks so tired. Tired because it's been a couple of stressful days and just tired of everything. But I'm glad she's willing to talk about her feelings. I walk over to the couch and sit next to her. I put a hand on her leg, hoping to provide some sort of comfort.

'What feelings?' She looks at me uncertainly, deciding whether or not to tell me. She opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, but nothing comes out. 'Abby-' I start, but before I can finish she interrupts me, like she's suddenly gotten the courage to say what she's been wanting to say. 'Luka was right about that I'm in love with you' she blurts out. I hadn't closed my mouth yet from my last attempt to speak, and now I'm unable to close it. I just look at her. She doesn't look at me, but she stares at her lap. 'I mean, I think I'm in love with you, and I don't know what to do about it. I mean, I understand if you don't feel the same and I still don't know what I need to do about it, since I'd only just broken up with Luka, and-' But she never gets to finish that sentence, since I lean over and gently place a kiss on her lips. Just for a second, to let know how I feel, then I pull back. I look at her expression. Her eyes are still closed, but there's a small smile playing on her lips. She opens her eyes slowly and looks at me. She's never looked so beautiful to me. I look into her eyes, and I feel her looking into my eyes and into my soul. Her look is all serious now and before I know what's going on, I see her leaning in again and this time it is her who kisses me. Not gently like I did, but more aggressive. She puts her arms around my shoulders and pulls me closer to her. I put my arms around her waist and pull her into my lap. I can't be close enough to her. I can't believe I'm kissing Abby. This must be the best feeling in the whole world. I can feel the kiss intensifying. This feels so much better then I ever imagined it. My hands have traveled from her waist and are now in her hair. She leans into me more and more, so I slowly fall back on the couch, Abby on top of me. I can hear her heavy breathing when she pulls away because we really need some oxygen. I untangle my lips from hers, my breathing also elaborated. We look at each other and smile. But then I hear some noise behind us. Abby heard it too, since she turns her head to look, and then freezes. I move a little so I can see what that noise was, and that's when I see Maggie and Luka standing in the door opening...