Remus was sitting quietly in his kitchen, trying to figure out what on earth had happened the previous night. And again this morning. He was glad no one else was there to see his shell-shocked expression, or to try and make him explain the problem.

He had slept with Severus. This was unexpected, but not the problem. Neither was the problem the fact that Severus had looked attractive, had found him attractive that night when he had spent most of his life hating him, had enjoyed some very rough sex, or that he had been a spectacularly good lay. The problem was the wolf.

Remus was barely aware of the wolf within him when the moon was not full. There was a vague glimmer of presence at the back of his mind which he rarely noticed, it had never interfered with his human existence, nor tried to dominate his mind except when he transformed and his very humanity was relegated to a minor niggle at the edge of his lupine consciousness. So it had been distressing to wake up that morning and find that the wolf had taken over and had its way with Severus Snape, apparently gouging and biting him as it took him in its frenzy of animalistic lust. Of course, Snape had not understood his fear, could not possibly imagine that Remus had spent his whole life dreading the loss of his human soul to the power of the wolf, terrified of harming another. As far as Remus could tell, Severus just considered him to be a particularly passionate lover.

Remus was so deep in thought he had drunk three quarters of his coffee before he realised that the mug also contained a teabag. Frowning, he wandered dazedly over to the sink, where he placed the teabag on the draining board and dropped the cup into the bin. Could it have been a purely sexual instinct? he wondered. Did the wolf fancy Severus? Unlikely, as he had known him for thirty years now, and never shown interest before. Also Remus was deeply in love with Harry – getting goose pimples, heart palpitations and sweating if he stood too close – but had never had that kind of urge. What was happening to him? What if he did it again? He shuddered in horror at the idea of unleashing the furious lust of the beast on his precious Harry, and had to sit down.

Severus had told Remus he had enjoyed it, and he was definitely not a man to offer platitudes for the sake of making another feel better. In fact, he was the first to grumble about anything he disliked, but instead of complaining he had asked for more. Remus clung to the thought. He liked it. He had not been harmed. He had been aroused.

How odd that a man like Severus Snape, so stiffly formal, so proud and jealous of power should so love being dominated in bed. Remus allowed himself a small smile as a single flash of memory hit him – a little moan of desire from the depths of Severus' throat as he was flung onto Remus' bed to be ravished – then bizarrely, inside his head, he felt the wolf begin to purr.

…….

"OK, Harry James Potter, that's enough!"

"What? What are you talking about, Hermione?"

"What's the matter with you lately? Why are you acting so oddly whenever we mention Remus? And how long since you went to see him?"

"Nothing's the matter. I've been busy."

"So the fact that you're blushing…"

"Shut up, will you? It's…it's not important."

"Rubbish. Tell me."

"It's embarrassing."
"I can keep a secret, you know. So stop running your hands through your hair and talk to me."

"Oh god. It's complicated. Where do I start?"

"Have you fallen out with Remus?"

"No! No. I've sort of developed this…"

"Yes?"

"Promise you won't laugh?"
"Promise. Cross my heart."
"I've got this crush on Remus."

"Oh, Harry!"

"It's ridiculous. Well, no it's not, because he's an attractive man, but it's all so screwed up. I care about him so much, but he's like a father to me, and I want him to stay that way, I don't want to spoil our wonderful relationship by some disastrous affair. He's worth more to me than that."

"Does he know?"
"No. And he can't know. I'm still a kid, and absolutely hopeless with romance. Hell, I don't even know if I'm really gay. And I'm certain he doesn't feel the same. Even if he did, I don't think it would work. So you see, I can't go leaping around declaring my feelings, when I don't even know what those feelings are."

"It looks like you're being very sensible about this, Harry. But he wrote to me, asking why you're avoiding him. He's upset. And I think he's started drinking again."

"Oh no! Why am I such an idiot? I just can't be around him too much, I'm scared I'll betray myself. He's very good at smelling things."
"Hah! So that explains the killer cologne!"

"Not funny, Hermione. What do I do?"

"Talk to him"

"I can't do that!"

"He cares about you and he's very understanding. He'll be able to advise you, he's very good at things like this. He won't judge you."

"Voldemort's dead. Why is my life still such a mess?"
"Everyone's is, sweetheart."

…….

For some reason, the muggle-borns described this sort of thing as an 'Oscar-performance'. Severus had no idea who this melodramatic Oscar person had been, but he was clearly some kind of legend of muggle acting, or possibly a politician, which was the same thing really. (A/N: It's election day today in the UK. I had to get up early to go and decide which of the lying scum seemed the least slimy. Shudder.) He practiced his look of confused alarm one last time before flooing to Lupin's house.

…….

There fireplace was flaring. Remus did not feel like entertaining guests, but levered himself up to answer it anyway. It had been seven months since his last comfortable conversation with Harry, and five months since that bizarre sexual encounter with Severus. Remus had been terrified of spending time with anyone in case the wolf should overpower him again, but fortunately, on the few occasions when he had been forced to socialise, nothing had happened. But how could he tell? It may happen at any moment, he told himself. Remus Lupin, you are a public menace, you should stay locked up, alone with your firewhisky and…

"Good Afternoon, Lupin. May I speak with you?"

Severus was there. He looked worried. Upset, even, as far as it was possible to tell on that composed countenance. Fortunately, the wolf remained dormant as he stepped into the room and Remus offered him a seat.

He sat, but remain on edge, wringing his hands in front of him and glancing nervously around the room, resting his eyes on everything in it except Remus. His hair was back to its normal state, but something else was different. Was it possible that the Slytherin had put on a little weight? He was definitely a little broader around the waist, his sharp face had gained an aspect of softness, and with it a hint of colour. All in all, he looked – and smelled - remarkably healthy. Remus, conscious of his own physical deterioration, felt a stab of jealousy, which he quickly tried to swallow. Clearly Snape was in some kind of trouble.

"Lupin. Ah. Something has happened."

"Are you all right, Severus?"

"Yes. Well, no, not exactly. But mostly. Yes. Ah."

This was most intriguing. Whatever this important thing was, it had robbed Severus of his eloquence, leaving him fearful and stammering like a first year Hufflepuff. And what was different about his scent? It jogged his memory in a way he could not place, he must have been using a particular potion ingredient which Remus had not smelled recently.

"Do try to relax. Can I get you a cup of camomile tea, perhaps? Or something stronger?"

"No. No thank you, Lupin. But you may wish to serve yourself." Remus was confused now. This mystery concerned him as well as Snape.

"Tell me," he insisted. The darker wizard took a deep breath to steady himself, and began to explain.

"You are aware that upon occasion it transpires that a pure-blooded wizard is able to bear a child?"

"Yes, I remember reading it somewhere," Remus frowned. "It's an extremely rare phenomenon, though. Some kind of quirk of magibiology as a result of too much interbreeding?"

"Not much is written about it. The most convincing theory I have heard is that it began as a side-effect from a dark fertility spell once used by a particular English nobleman in the thirteenth century, when it appeared the family line was dying out. Very little is known for definite as the men in question only discover their ability if they happen to be active homosexuals, and I suspect that most cases are kept secret and never come to light."

"Prejudice is still alive and well within the wizarding aristocracy, I suppose," Lupin nodded thoughtfully. "So what does this have to do with you?" Snape lifted his head, looking Remus directly in the eye for the first time since his arrival.

"It would appear that I am one such wizard."

It took Remus' brain a moment to process what he was being told. When it drew its conclusion, it immediately discounted it and started again, demanding new information.

"Severus, you're pregnant?"

"Yes."

"Bloody hell. That's incredible!"

"Yes."

"And the…er…other father?"

Severus merely raised an eyebrow. Remus' jaw dropped open and spots danced at the edges of his vision. Gripping the arms of the chair in order to stay upright, he rapped out the question with more force than he intended;

"Me?"

"Yes."

"That's impossible. A father? Me?"

"There is no other candidate."

"Shit."
"Quite."

"Are you sure, Severus? I mean, there couldn't have been a mistake with the testing potion?"

"No. When the healer I consulted had discounted every other possible reason for my recent nausea and increased appetite, we performed four tests. A diagnostic spell and two different types of potion. I only believed the consistent positive results when he activated the hologrammatical scan, revealing a three-dimensional image of the baby inside me. Our baby."

Remus sank back in his chair, overcome. Disbelief, fear, resentment, and confusion bubbled through his mind as he mutely watched Severus cross the room to the drinks cabinet, pour a large measure of whiskey and carefully place it in his hand. Remus downed it in one gulp, and realised with annoyance that rather than helping matters, it had only added 'fuzziness' to the churning cauldron of feelings inside him. Snape was standing by the fireplace now, ready to leave after dropping his bombshell.

"Lupin, I understand that you did not choose this situation. I merely came here to inform you of the facts. I am capable of raising this child alone if necessary, with the assistance of my healer and house-elf. You may choose your level of involvement, if any, when you have had chance to digest the information. Contact me at anytime you wish."

And he was gone.

…….

Once home, Severus sank into his sofa and pulled his legs up underneath him, gently stroking the bump which was his tiny baby. The mysterious Mr. Oscar could not have done better, he thought. Poor Lupin, he looked so dishevelled nowadays, and was obviously drinking too much. But he would be delighted with the child once he got over his shock, Severus estimated an hour and a half would be enough. Fatherhood would instil a new sense of purpose into the werewolf – he seemed to have burnt out after finishing his book, and it was a waste, really, to have a brave and intelligent mind like that festering and idle. The child gave a little wriggle in agreement (or so Severus decided).

"Yes, he will love you very much," he assured the bulge tenderly. "He is that sort of person. He will be here any moment, begging to be allowed to act like a Daddy to you. Now we must be nice to him. He is a hopeless Griffindor and will never be as clever as us, but that is not his fault and we must not hold it against him. Now, my treasure, what shall we have for our afternoon snack? We enjoyed the anchovy cake yesterday. Perhaps it would be even better if we added some plum jam? What do you think?" Kick. "Yes, I thought so too."

Severus had polished off a huge cake, half a raw cabbage, a pint of iced carrot juice and was eating straight out of the jam jar with a teaspoon when there was a knock at the front door. Checking his pocket-watch he smugly noted that eighty-four minutes had passed since he arrived home.

"Master Snape, sir, a Remus Lupin is wanting to see you. Is you at home to callers?" asked the house-elf.

"Show him in please, Pip," said Severus, letting his robe fall open to exaggerate the bump and making no attempt to stop picking at the jam.

Lupin had shaved, changed his clothes and tidied his hair since Severus had left him sitting dazedly on the tatty armchair at home. As he entered the kitchen, his step was tentative, but his face was radiant with delight.

Perfect, thought Severus to himself. The baby gave a hearty wriggle .

…….

…….

A/N: What a gorgeous set of reviewers you are! Thank you so much for saying such nice things, and I'm glad you're enjoying this fic, I am enjoying it too! Well done to anyone who noticed the significance of the title of the previous chapter (SN rushes off to don sparkly disco-punk outfit) x

Oya – You're right, he was the only choice! As for Harry/Remus developments…you'll have to wait and see! In the HP fic-verse, anything can happen (and it frequently does).

Social Twist – Originality is difficult when there are more than 180,000 stories about the same sets of characters, so I'm really glad you think I've come up with a new one (OK, that opens the floodgates for a hundred 'designer baby' enthusiasts to shoot me down!) Thank you, and I'm enjoying your "Impossible Struggle" lots.

Quaxo – Glad you think it's funny, I do too. You are right, there are much worse things in this world than using someone for their sperm, and Severus deserves to get his own way for once. Let's hope the kid forgives him when it grows up…

i & Lucidity – Haven't decided either way yet! Glad you like.

Toni – "Insignificant Slytherin" was the saddest thing I had ever written, but oddly, the most enjoyable! I am weird. I kept this fic separate as I think they have two very different tones. Severus' past was bleak, but I hope you agree the future is shaping up nicely.

Kyer – Severus learned Manipulation Studies under the 2 finest teachers in the wizarding world, of course he's good at it! Hee hee.

Arnyekmester, Vampiricshewolf, Trin, April – Thank you for your encouragement. You are clearly well brought up readers of exquisite taste (curtseys) x