It was some hours later when Hisoka came-to. Outside the window it was dark, but inside the infirmary, it was blindingly bright. He could hardly open his eyes without his head and eyes hurting. He turned his head away, and caught the sight of Tsuzuki sitting next to him. Well, more like slouching next to him. He was in a char, seemingly asleep. His hands were bandaged up, which confused the boy, but what was worse were the many tears rolling down the man's cheeks. He even cried in his sleep?
Slowly, Hisoka found the strength to reach over and tae hold of his partner's hand. Just the simple, weak contact was enough to bring the man back into the realm of the conscious. He gasped, seeing the boy stare at him, and he was still for so long, Hisoka was scared when he suddenly fell forwards and embraced him.
"Hisoka… don't you dare scare me like that ever again, do you hear!"
His voice was, as Hisoka could describe it, weak and strong at the same time. The tears were coming faster now, and were staining the shoulder of the gown he was dressed in. None of what was happening made any sense to him. He searched his memory for what had happened, but could not remember. Slowly, Tsuzuki moved slightly back and rubbed his eyes before providing the boy with an answer.
"You passed out."
Hisoka sighed and shook his head. Nothing was coming back to him.
"That is very vague."
"But that was all I knew… at first."
"At first?"
Tsuzuki fell silent. Hisoka shifted as much as his sore body would allow, uncomfortable with the sad stare his partner had fixed on him.
"A-at first? What does that mean?"
"You were moaning at first… and then screaming… you were dreaming about him, weren't you?"
Hisoka blushed and looked away. Yes, he had been dreaming of that night, but how had Tsuzuki known? He had seen Muraki. He saw the hate in his eyes, and was screaming out against him. But, in the end, just before waking, the dream changed. He was alone… There was no evil doctor to torment him, and he was free. But, he didn't want to believe it. He felt empty, as if the doctor's presence in him was the only thing he had. When he lost that, there was nothing but an empty space.
Hisoka didn't realize that he had been squeezing his partners hand so tightly, or that he was crying until Tsuzuki set his other hand upon his, forcing the boy to meet his eyes.
"Watari figured it out while you were asleep. But I didn't need him to tell me what he found. I see it in your eyes now. But you don't have to worry. You can finally forget Muraki… he wasn't you, and he never was or will be.
"He isn't gone…"
"You just don't want him to be gone."
"…What?"
"You wanted him to blame all your problems on… he was someone you could blame instead of yourself. But Hisoka, you don't need to blame yourself, either. I'm here. We're all here for you!"
"Tsuzuki…!"
Hisoka cried into Tsuzuki's arms, still doubtful that he could simply forget everything he made himself believe. If Muraki weren't there to blame… then where would he look to when he didn't want to blame himself? He didn't want to blame Tsuzuki anymore, or Watari or Tatsumi. He felt lost, but in the darkness, he found light. That light was made form the friends he now had; from his new family.
The only darkness that remained, was the man formerly known as Doctor Kazutaka Muraki.