(AN: I want to thank the J.A.M for doing some observations and suggestions for this chapter)
FRIENDS, FOES, AND FAMILY.
The rest of the day was quite calm (as much as it can be on Acme Looniversity). Since it was the first day of the school's year, it ended early, and the students had just a little homework to do, so Buster, according to his own tradition, decided to invite all his new friends to the local Weenie Burger to eat a snack while hanging around with the old gang. A few moments after Gogo rang the day's final bell, the rabbit was on the school's front door with Babs, Hillary, Skippy, Plucky, and Hamton, chatting and waiting for the rest of the group.
"You guys eat hamburgers? Thought rabbits were entirely vegetarians!" Hillary asked Babs and Buster.
"Well, most of the meat that is served in Acme Acres isn't real one, but soy meat. I mean, how are you going to eat ham if one of your friends is a pig?" Babs said while pointing to Hamton.
"Not me, anyway. I am Jew." Skippy said.
"Besides, most of the time Buster and I just eat the fries and the desserts." Babs concluded. At that moment, Ron, Wally, Mary, and Shirley walked out from the school, joining them. Hillary gave Ron a little glare, but decided to keep her snout closed, while Skippy moved a little closer to Hamton.
"Sorry about the delay. Wally was showing us his room." Mary said. The rabbits, hyena, squirrel, pig and duck made surprised faces.
"His room? What do you mean?" Buster asked. Wally shrugged.
"Well, I have no place to stay here in the city. My parents live in Yellowstone Park, and neither they nor me have a good relationship with my grandpa, so I can't live with him. Luckily, Bugs allows me to live in a spare room at the school's basement. Is not too big, but I have everything I need, and can use the school's showers and kitchen. Plus, I have an extra income assisting Pete with the janitor's job, and as a night watchdog." Wally explained.
"Wait, if you live here, why you were lost in the morning, and carrying a backpack?" Plucky asked.
"I just moved yesterday, and it was quite late, so I couldn't check my classroom then. Plus, even if I keep most of my school stuff in my room, I like to carry the books I'll need for the day in my backpack, even if I have a locker as well." Wally replied.
Everybody but Plucky nodded; to him, this was another bad point about the wolf, because, by living in the Looniversity, he had access to the teachers' equipment, and, if he wanted to set a trap, had a lot of chances to do it before anyone else arrived at the school. The only other toon that might keep an eye on him during the night was Bosko, the keeper of the movies' vault, but he usually stayed on his working place, not going to the superior labels on a regular basis, so basically the wolf had the school for himself. The duck's thoughts were cut by Monty's evil laughs.
"Hey, fools! Remember I told you nobody can reject me? Well, I have my revenge ready!" Monty said, and whistled. At that moment, Elmyra appeared from behind a bush.
"Look, Elmyra. Here are all the new pets I promised to you!" Max pointed to Hillary and Wally. Elmyra giggled, and ran to grab them. Before Hillary could react, she was caught by Elmyra's grip.
"Oh, a puppy woopy! I'll love her, and squeeze her, and pet her...!" Elmyra tightened her grip around the hyena. The other toons moved to help, but were cut by Hillary's snarling. The hyena handled to bite Elmyra's nose, causing the girl to release her; then, without any warning, punched Elmyra, sending her against the school's wall.
"Well... that wasn't a nice experience!" Hillary said, panting. Then, she turned to face Max. "And you, little rascal, are going to be my punching bag for a while!" But, before Hillary could touch Max, Elmyra's voice was heard again.
"Ooooh! The puppy woopy bite me! I'll have to teach her good manners with another hug." Elmyra said stupidly, and dashed towards Hillary again. This time, however, the hyena was ready, and, when Elmyra was close enough, she grabbed the girl's arm, and twisted it behind her back while pinning her against the floor.
"Say uncle! Come on, girl, give up!" Hillary snapped. Elmyra was in obvious pain, but still giggled like crazy.
"Oh, you want to play wrestling! I don't like that! Let's hug and play nicely!" Elmyra continued. Hillary was kind of surprised, but the toons who already knew Elmyra expected this.
"Hill, is no use! Elmyra is just to dumb to give up, even if she gets hurt! Like, release her so we all stop her, or some junk!" Shirley informed the hyena. Babs and Buster took nets out from their bodies' pockets to trap Elmyra without hurting her, but, at that moment, Ron moved next to Hill and Elmyra, and directed to the hyena.
"I have an idea. Release her, and I'll handle the girl." Ron said. Hill glared at him.
"Oh, you think I can't manage this problem by myself, uh? Typical macho attitude!" Hillary snapped. Ron slapped his forehead.
"I know you can handle her, but, if you continue with this, both of you are gonna get really hurt, or in detention. Please, allow me to help you on this one." Ron insisted. Against her better judgement, Hillary decided to give Ron a chance, and released Elmyra. The silly girl stood up, and opened her arms to give another hug to the hyena, but Ron reacted, and gave her a hug of his own.
"Oh, is a girl. Definitely, a nice red haired girl! Is so nice I want to hug her and not letting her go forever! You are so cute!" Ron said in a silly voice while hugging Elmyra at full strength. Then, without warning, started licking the girl's face. Everybody made a disgusted face, but couldn't move their eyes from the scene. After a few minutes, Ron released Elmyra, who was in a complete shock state. It was the first time any animal treated her the same way she treated them, and had no idea about what to do next.
"Uh...uh... I think I most go home now. So long." Elmyra said when recovered partially from the shock, and walked away. Everybody was surprised, especially Max, because his plan was frustrated in such a weird way, and Hillary, because Ron's idea really worked.
"Uh... I think I should go as well...no hard feelings, right?" Max said nervously, while moving a couple steps back, and then escaped in a panic dash, fearing what Hillary might do to him next. The other toons smiled, and surrounded Ron; the rest of the gang, who appeared just in time to see the last moments of the hug, was there as well.
" Hey, that was a good dadgum trick, pal!" Fowlmouth said. "Not something I would do on my right dadgum mind, but it was good!" Everyone but Hillary was congratulating Ronald. The hyena sighed, and directed to him.
"Ok, you had a good idea. Big deal. I admit it was a nice plan, and I thank you for the help... but don't expect me to be your best friend or something!" Hill pointed to Ron. He gave her a nice smile, and shrugged.
"Oh, that's fine with me. Look, I want no enemies... well, maybe Monty already considers me as one now, but trust me, I have no intentions of giving you a bad time. Let's continue the way we are, and see if we can end up as friends... or at least without growling to each other." Ron said. Hillary seemed satisfied with his words, and gave him a small smile on reply.
"Well, toonsters, let's go. There's a huge carrot smoothie on the Weenie Burger with my name on it." Buster said. However, when they started moving, another voice cut them. This time it was an old male voice, that made Wally to gulp.
"So, this is the kind of freaks you are befriending, uh? A fool with a hippy hairdo, a hooligan looking girl, and a lot of jerks that should be your preys?" Everybody turned to see a furious Walter Wolf. Wally sighed.
"Hello, grandpa. Look, I would appreciate if you don't insult my friends..." Wally was interrupted by his grandfather's even more furious voice.
"FRIENDS? First of all, don't call me "grandpa"; to my disgrace, I'm your great-grandfather, so call me that way, ok? And second, you are a wolf, for God's sake! The only relationship a wolf has with another species is as a predator, or as a boss! And now, you are telling me you're hanging around with the stupid nephew of my worst enemy?" Walter glared at Skippy, who hide behind Ron. The wolf continued. "In my days, we, the real toon stars, kept our personalities in front and behind the cameras. If we hated someone on screen, we did it as well out of it. Wallace William Wolf, you are a shame to your species, and this school is a shame for the whole Toonity!"
"Hey, you can't insult Wally, or our school!" Buster said to the old wolf. "Acme might not be perfect, but we like it. And just because someone is our rival on the screen, it doesn't mean we can be friends out of it... unless you consider Max and Elmyra, of course, but they're exceptions to the rule. If you want Wally to respect you, maybe you should give him some respect as well." The rabbit pointed to Walter. The elder toon was about to reply, when Slappy appeared from the front door, with Wile E. Coyote behind her.
"You know, Walter, that kind of attitude is the reason Bugs never offered you a job in here. You and I are enemies all the time, but many teachers, that can't stand each other on screen, work along on a regular basis. Heck, even Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd accept Bugs' authority as the Principal." Slappy pointed. Walter was now fuming.
"But that's so wrong! Is like those stinking cartoons about the sheepherder dog and the wolf... they were killing each other almost all the time, but were great pals out of the job's hours! What kind of moron would believe that?" Walter snapped. Now it was Wile's turn to enter the conversation.
"Well, Mr Wolf, my dear friend and director Chuck Jones, God bless his soul, knew that Sam and my cousin Ralph were pals, so he decided to show a little of their friendship on screen. He also wanted to prove both the audience and the toons that your rival on the cartoon can be our friend out of it. After all, we are actors playing a role." Wile said in a polite tone. Walter directed all his attention to the coyote.
"Oh, and you always supported Mr Jones and his ideas, right? Of course, since you were his loyal dog! He even gave that job to your cousin, who looks just like your clone or something, instead of me! I have a lot more talent than that idiot! But, of course, your friend Chuck was so dumb he couldn't recognize real talent even when it was in front of him. He was such a fool, incompetent..." Walter continued his ranting, but stopped and gasped when saw Wile's stern expression. Everybody moved a few steps back, even Slappy; Chuck Jones, among toons, is almost a sacred figure (just like all the other great animators), and, in Wile's case, who was like a son to Mr Jones, insulting him was an invitation to suicide.
"He didn't give you that job..." Wile talked in a paused yet venomous voice, "...because you never agreed to be friendly, or at least, tolerant, among your co-stars, and always had a diva-like complex, as if you were the only one on screen. Even Daffy can have a nice word for his co-workers once in a while, unlike you. And, never, ever, insult Chuck's memory again, especially IN FRONT OF ME!" Wile almost roared at the last part, and took a rocket out from his body pocket, stucking it on Walter's mouth. Then, he turned its fuse on, and made Walter fly through the air, and out of town.
BOOOOOOOOM!
The explosion he made when reached the ground was heard all across Acme Acres.
The students looked at Wile, totally speechless. Calamity then smiled to him, and took out a sign, reading "Well done, prof!" All the toons clapped at Wile, who calmed down, and returned to his usual mood.
"Glad you liked my little pyrotechnic exhibition, boys and girls. Now, go have some fun and then do your homework. I have some job of my own to do." Wile said, and walked away, waving good-bye to Slappy and the students. The old squirrel made the same, after telling Skippy to not return home late.
Since Fifi had her own car, she gave most of the gang a ride to the place; to fit better on the vehicle, Ron agreed to travel on the car's roof, with Skippy riding on his back, while Babs and Mary spin-changed into skaters' outfits and tied a couple of ropes to the car's trunk, so they made the trip land-skiing. Shirley traveled levitating, and even used her power to transport Plucky, Concord, and Fowlmouth as well; Dizzymoved on his usual tornado's way,and Beeper, with his speed, ran there in no time while carrying Sneezer and Sweetie. Once there, they had a very nice and amusing meal; Hillary even relaxed enough to allow Ronald to sit next to her without growling to the guy. As expected, most of the talking involved the episode with Walter.
"And your grandpa had always been this way with you, Wally?" Babs asked while eating some carrot fries. Wally sighed, and stopped eating his double cheeseburger for a moment.
"Yes. Even when I was just a little pup, he was really tough with me and my parents. You see, there's a project to repopulate the USA and Mexico with wild wolves, and, because of that, my father met my mom, a Mexican wolf, on Yellowstone Park. They fell for each other, and, since my grandpa… or "great-grandfather" is quite intolerant, he wasn't very happy about my dad marrying a foreign wolf." Wally paused, and sighed sadly.
"Anyway, he more or less accepted me for a while, and even moved some influences so I could study in a fancy school, but I didn't like a lot in there, so I quit after a semester. Then, I started studying to prepare myself to enter Acme, and, as you can see, I did it. Of course, since my grandpa has so many issues with me for not wanting to follow his steps as a villain, and quitting the school he chose for me, and with the Loo's staff for never offering him a place in there, he lost any traces of respect towards me or my folks. He even contacted one of my uncles, a lawyer, to kick us out from his will, and be sure nobody from the family would ever help us. That's why I had to move to the Loo's basement, and, despite having the age, I'm not in my senior year, because I lost a lot of time on my other school." Wally ended, and returned to his burger. The other toons decided it would be fine to stop bothering him with questions about his family, and started talking about other things.
Shortly after everyone ended eating, Skippy noticed something through the place's window, and smiled. Then, he jumped out of his seat, and directed to the door.
"Back in a moment, guys. I just saw an old friend I hadn't seen in a long time." Skippy explained, and exited the place. The other toons looked through the window as well, and almost all the males gasped. Outside the Weenie Burger, right in the front sidewalk, there was a pink convertible, and, behind the wheel, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde mink.
"Hey, is Minerva Mink!" Vinnie almost screamed, and made a loud whistle. Hamton, Furrball, and Fowlmouth, wide opened their eyes, and their tongues touched the floor; Dizzy and Beeper started howling like crazies, and Concord and Sly Junior turned as red as tomatoes. Plucky started making crazy movements and all the wild takes he could remember at the time, but was cut by Shirley, who angrily zapped him with one of her psionic lightning. Babs and Fifi turned to see Buster and Calamity's reactions, and, at that moment, both girls received a passionate kiss from their respective boyfriend; after a few seconds, the girls returned them with equal intensity. Every time Buster and Cal's hormones were driven crazy by any other girl, they always calmed down by kissing their true love; sometimes Babs and Fifi even thanked Heaven when they found a pretty girl during their dates. Mary watched at the scene extremely amused, especially when Sweetie and Sneezer mimicked the other couples.
"Men." Hillary sighed and rolled her eyes. However, she got extremely surprised about Wally and Ron. The wolf wagged his tail slightly, but controlled his impulses extremely well, and Ronald, even if he seemed happy, looked actually a little nervous.
"What's wrong, Simba? You don't like blondes?" Hillary asked Ron. He sighed, and directed to his friends.
"Is not that... but I'm used to her. She is the family's friend who I'm living with while my parents are away. I guess I should already leave. See you guys tomorrow." Ronald said, and left his seat. He waved everyone good-bye, and exited the place. Everybody looked at the door extremely dumbfounded for a moment, and then all the males who got excited with Minerva ran to the door as well.
Ronald waved good-bye to Skippy, who was now next to Minerva's side of the car, chatting with her, and entered the car as well. Minerva gave him a nice kiss on his cheek (which made all the peeping guys gulp and sweat), and started the engine. Ronald made her notice the guys at the Weenie Burger, and then both toons waved good-bye to them, while Minerva started driving away. Skippy then returned with the gang.
"Oh, man! He knows Minerva Mink! The dadgum guy lives with her!" Fowlmouth exclaimed.
"Well, if he's Minerva's friend, Ronald is fine in my book. Maybe he can give me her number...OW!" Plucky thought out loud, and was zapped again by Shirley. The guys chuckled, but Wally stopped when Skippy arrived with them.
"Wait... Skippy, if you know Minerva, and she is friend with Ronald's parents, that means you might know him from some time ago, isn't it?" The wolf asked. Skippy nodded.
"Well, yes, but I had hardly seen him in a very long time, so I was very surprised to see him this morning. He asked me to not tell everyone he was living with Minerva, since he doesn't like to have all the attention on him." Skippy explained.
"A humble lion? Now I had seen everything!" Hillary rolled her eyes. Buster then separated from the group, and headed towards a trashcan located near the stand.
"Hey, Buster, don't tell you're feeling sick. A moment ago you seemed quite healthy to me." Babs pointed. Buster chuckled, but kept walking to the can.
"Nope, I feel okay. Is just that, when everyone was whistling to Minerva, I noticed some whistling sounds were coming out from this can as well. I have an idea about who is on the inside." Buster explained. Then, he opened the can, and introduced his paws on it. A second later, he took two toons' heads out from the can, a rat and an avian.
"Well, well, well. Roderick and Drake. You really found a home that fits you guys." Buster said, while all the toonsters surrounded the can, except Wally, who decided to stay at a certain distance. Buster released the Perfectos, who remained inside the can.
"Cut it, rabbit!" Roderick snapped. "You already know why we are here, so stop playing with us!"
"Oh, yes, the Acme Bowl. I guess you are starting the spying job early this year." Buster replied. Every year, at the end of the school's year first month, the Acme Looniversity and the Perfecto Prep had a football game; the Perfectos used to win eat every year until Buster became the Loo's team captain. Since then, Acme had won every game, despite all the efforts (or cheating) done by their rivals.
"Say what you want, bunny. But this year the Looniversity is going down. We'll totally destroy all of you, punks!" Drake said in a proud tone, but nobody took him seriously.
"Well, until that time, I guess you guys should leave. Let me help you." Buster said, and took a mustard bottle out from his body's pocket, empting it on the Perfectos' heads. Then, he directed to Dizzy.
"And now, The Amazing Dizzy! We have here a trashcan with two rotten toons on the inside. Will he eat it?" Buster said with a smirk. Dizzy, without missing his cue, jumped against the trashcan, and swallowed it in a second. Then, he made a ball inside his mouth with the villains' bodies, and spitted them to the next street. All the toonsters cheered at the little devil.
"Disgusting, but nicely done." Mary said with a smug tone. Everyone chuckled, and Wally finally approached his classmates.
"Well, I guess I should go as well. I have to do my homework, and then a little job at the Loo. See you tomorrow." Wally said to everyone, and started walking in the Loo's general direction. Plucky decided it wouldn't hurt to check him at that moment, and, using the excuse of Shirley being a little angry with him, said good-bye as well, and flew away on the contrary direction.
Once he was far enough, Plucky changed his flying direction, and headed to the school. Since he had lost a lot of practice, he had to stop a few times to rest on the rooftops, but eventually arrived at the Loo, just in time to see Wally entering. Plucky couldn't follow him inside without being suspicious, plus it seemed the wolf went right to the place after leaving the group, so the duck decided to end his day's surveillance, and return home.
Inside the school, Wally looked nervously to all directions, to be sure nobody was near. Then, he took out a cell phone, and sent a message. A moment later, he opened one of the windows, and looked down, smiling.
"Nobody saw you?" He asked to someone hiding on a bush.
"Nope. I was very cautious." A female voice answered. Wally sighed.
"Good. It would be very hard to give explanations to anyone discovering us." The wolf said.
"Don't worry. In no time, you'll stop worrying about your classmates." The voice replied with a sly tone on her voice. Wally took his paw out of the window, and helped a cloaked figure climb inside the Loo; the only thing visible of her was a long and thin tail.