Severus awoke when Saskia changed back into a human baby.
He checked her all over for side-effects, but she seemed to have managed the transformation perfectly, not even leaving wolf hairs in her sleep suit. She began nuzzling at his chest and he realised why she had decided to change back.
"Hungry, are we, my treasure?" he whispered. "Well, I'm glad you are not still a cub for this."
He had been so absorbed in his daughter that he failed to notice Lupin sprawling all over them, wand in his hand, until the werewolf stirred and spoke.
"All right?" he asked sleepily, eyelids glued together from too much many tears of relief.
"Dinnertime," Snape explained softly. Remus forced his eyes open and sat up to inspect Saskia.
"She's back to normal!" he exclaimed, staring at the suckling child. "Is she OK?"
"There appears to be nothing wrong with her physical appearance or appetite," he murmured fondly. "Lupin?"
"Yes, Severus?"
"Stop staring at my tits."
"Sorry. I like them," he blushed fiercely, but the statement had a defiant edge this time.
Snape looked up at him calculatingly, remembering his conversations with Lupin and Dumbledore before Pettigrew's terrible arrival. He had forgotten that he was supposed to be choosing one of them as a lover.
"Do you, indeed?" he asked in the dangerous silky voice, the memory of which still had generations of ex-Hogwarts students waking at 3am in a cold sweat. "Would that fact explain your presence in my bed?"
Remus was threatening to turn into a beetroot, as far as Snape could tell in the flickering firelight, though he made no attempt to withdraw the arm still loosely draped across the darker man's midriff.
"Partly that. Partly because I want to protect you both. This afternoon was…" he struggled to find the right words to describe his horror at hearing Harry's call to action and the shame at having let down the people he loved. He swallowed. "You were in a dreadful state earlier. I needed to take care of you. How are you doing now?"
Severus pondered the question for a moment, shifting Saskia's position slightly in his arms. She was making her usual small sounds of appreciation. Apparently unable to help himself, Lupin's eyes returned to the exposed white breasts.
"I used to have a recurring dream," said Snape, resigning himself to being ogled. "Where I could no longer look after Saskia once she had hatched from the egg where I had kept her secure. It felt like that. How can I keep her safe without watching her every second of the day? I only went into the garden for a moment!"
Tightening his grip around the slightly flabby waist, Lupin rested his head on a shoulder.
"I don't know, Severus," he confessed. "No one is ever completely safe from harm. But it must be easier with two parents on the case."
Tired and emotional though he was, there was no way Snape could miss the implication of the statement. He tugged at his hair and recognised its usual oily texture. It was odd that Lupin was so keen to fondle him without the Secret Weapon working its magic.
"You still want me now? Fat, greasy, spotty with no attractive features and nothing to recommend me to anyone?" he sneered the question, preparing to raise his faithful old defensive barriers. Remus scratched his chin as he pretended to think it over.
"You're not so bad," he grinned, sweeping his eyes appraisingly up and down with a glint of lewdness which made Snape squirm.
"You realise that once I stop feeding Saskia myself, the breasts will likely disappear?" It sounded so much like an excuse that Lupin laughed out loud.
"Always so self-effacing," he smiled and brushed a stray strand of greasy black hair out of Snape's eyes. "I like all of you, not just your chest."
Processing that statement required more energy than Severus possessed at that moment. He felt awkward and embarrassed, not knowing what to believe or how to respond.
"Go to sleep," he commanded eventually, moving the baby to his other shoulder to burp her. Remus laughed again and kissed his cheek, then Saskia's.
"If that's what you want, my love," he whispered. Snape shivered, though the room was not cold.
…….
A few hours later, Remus awoke again to find his daughter engrossed in yet another feed and Severus writing in a leather notebook, precariously balanced on his knee.
"What are you doing?" he asked sleepily.
"Nothing," said Snape, too quickly, shoving the book underneath the blanket. Lupin's hand shot down after it, knowing that the potions master could not put up a proper fight without disturbing the Saskia's supper. "Give that back!" he hissed.
Remus ignored him and flipped to the last entry. The page was divided into two columns, one headed 'Lupin' and the other 'Dumbledore', reminding him he had no right to get too comfortable in the other man's bed.
"So my future depends on your latest list, does it?" he asked sharply. Snape had the grace to look faintly ashamed.
"It is a significant decision. I must make certain that I have considered all the facts…"
"Don't you ever just follow you heart?" Lupin asked incredulously.
Black eyes stared at him as though he had gone insane.
"No," said Snape. "I understand that your grasp of biology is basic, at best, but even you ought to be aware of which organ is responsible for thought." Remus tutted at the typical Snapish response. Looking at the list, which was just a few lines long and irritatingly practical in tone, his earlier suspicions suddenly resurfaced.
"Did Albus father your first baby?" he blurted out before he had chance to sugar-coat the delicate question.
"What? WHAT!" yelled Severus, his jaw falling open in shock. Saskia moaned at the loud noise and he calmed down and stroked her head in apology. "What on earth gave you that idea?"
"Did he?" he repeated, quieter this time but no less insistent.
"No! Of course not!"
"Then who was it?" Lupin hated himself for putting the other wizard on the spot like this. He could not help it. He had to know.
Snape tried not to panic. He had put the werewolf through a lot over the last few days, having to deal with being used, deceived and lied to. He had no wish to add another untruth to the brew, but if Lupin found out now that Saskia's middle name was honouring his dead ex-lover who had been executed for a plethora of evil crimes against innocent people, it might just make him decide that Snape was more trouble than he was worth. Options flitted through his brain. He could say that he did not know who the other father had been, though that would make him sound like a slut. He could say he had been drunk at the time, which was not much better. He could imply that it had been a non-consensual encounter and the anonymous swine had obliviated him afterwards, but Lupin's probable grief on his behalf would make him uncomfortable.
Saskia picked up on his distress and started wailing. He rocked her gently as he realised that for the first time in years, he had no idea how to get himself out of an awkward situation. He started violently when Remus' hand gripped his shoulder.
"It's all right, Severus," his face was soft with concern. "I didn't mean to upset you. You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to."
Allowing himself to be hugged again, Snape heard his own voice apologising.
"It…it's complicated," he stammered.
"Shh," soothed Lupin. "Don't worry. Doesn't matter." He was confused by Snape's obvious panic at being asked that straightforward question and filed it away for personal reflection later. What circumstances could have led the cool and aloof man to react that way? If it was not Dumbledore, then it must have been someone truly terrible. Someone like…
If Remus had hated having the idea of Dumbledore abusing the young Severus, the suspicion of Voldemort doing so made his blood boil.
Hit bit his lip to regain an element of control and watched Snape relax. Saskia calmed down too, allowing him to tentatively lay her down in the crib, though he looked anxious as he tucked her in. Lupin listened contentedly as he sang an unfamiliar lullaby, probably trying to soothe himself as much as the baby.
Flicking through the list book, Remus noted the many difficult decisions the potions master had been forced to make over the years, realising that he had been made to debate enormous issues on his own with no support from friends. Hence the book of lists. No wonder he had sometimes made mistakes. Remus had grown up bouncing ideas off his mother, then Sirius, James and, he grimaced, Peter, then Harry and his other friends of Harry's generation. Snape had no one whom he could trust on important matters. The thought was rather upsetting.
He glanced over at the crib, where Severus was still crooning quietly to their daughter with such great love that Lupin felt privileged just being able to watch him. It was a complete contrast to the bitter demeanour he had presented before the end of the war. He had buried most of his grudges while preparing to have Saskia, and Remus knew that he was more concerned with the future than the past nowadays.
Severus had been burdened with too many painful choices throughout his short life. Perhaps it was time he learned to rely on others. Perhaps he needed someone else to give him the final push away from his old solitary habit and take matters out of his worn hands. Who better to undertake the task than the one he had personally chosen as the best man to father his daughter?
Taking a deep breath with determination, Remus made the decision on Severus' behalf.
He got up from the bed, strolled to the fireplace and tossed the book into the flames.
"Lupin!" shrieked Snape, diving to retrieve it. "What are you doing!" Remus gently restrained him.
"You don't need it anymore," he told him, with authority.
"But…," the potions master made a last desperate attempt to reach into the blaze.
"Severus," he looked Snape directly in the face as he spoke. "From now on, if you have to make a choice, you can discuss it with me. We will debate all the ramifications between ourselves and you can draw your conclusion, having taken into account a completely different perspective. You must agree that it is a more thorough method of decision-making."
Looking from the fire to Lupin, then back to the fire again, Snape was in turmoil.
"But…," he tried again.
"And verbal discussion with me will leave no evidence behind for others to find," he adopted a Slytherin perspective, which met with a hum of approval.
"I suppose you are correct on that score. I have made some serious errors recently," he admitted. "Though I do not believe you will be able to give me an unbiased opinion over whether I should set up home with Dumbledore or yourself."
"That is irrelevant," smiled Lupin, carefully leading him back to bed. "This particular choice has already been made."
"Has it?" Snape looked even more startled than before.
"Yes, you chose me," he stated, matter-of-factly. "When you made your list about the most suitable father for your child. You knew all along that I was the best candidate."
Silence.
"Indeed?" At length, Snape raised an eyebrow, recovering some of his natural aplomb. Remus indicated that he should sit on the edge of the bed and followed suit when he complied.
"Yes, I am. I love you and I'm looking forward to devoting the rest of my life to raising our daughter."
"But…" he tried one last time.
"No buts," interrupted Lupin, placing a finger on Snape's thin lips. "Albus has his own fiery family now. I have you two. It makes perfect sense."
It came as something of a relief to Snape not to have to agonise over yet another critical issue. He allowed the werewolf to lean in for a lingering, possessive kiss, then to lower him horizontal and nibble at his neck, suck on his earlobes and generally worship whatever his explorations found. Snape's sallow skin tingled at every touch, making his breath hitch and blocking rational thought as he floated away on the wonderful sensations. The aggression of the wolf was absent this time, replaced by Remus' very human tender respect. It was intoxicating. Snape was not sure whether the purring sound he could hear was coming from him or from Lupin. His languid brain decided after a few minutes that he didn't care.
"That's enough," he reluctantly called a halt to the proceedings when he felt a warm hand sliding up underneath his shirt. "Not with Saskia in the room." Lupin grimaced but did as he was told, pulling the covers up over them and contenting himself with chastely stroking Snape's elegant fingers until they both began to get drowsy.
Just before he drifted off to sleep, Remus heard a muffled voice.
Human?
"Mmm?" he murmured back, faintly as a heartbeat.
I take it back. The bunny-rabbit comment, I mean. You did well to claim our Mate.
"Thanks, Wolf. I know."
Severus' last coherent thought was that he had made the right choice. He imagined a life surrounded by lemon drops and shuddered.
…….
TWO AND A HALF YEARS LATER.
After a hard day's wanton destruction, Saskia had finally fallen asleep standing up, leaning against the side of her new rocking-dragon, a hand-carved gift from her doting Uncle Hagrid.
Delighted by the first moment of quiet since afternoon naptime, Severus and Remus exchanged a weary look. Remus lifted the toddler up and draped her over his shoulder to carry her upstairs to bed, pausing to pick up Pookie the stuffed wyvern from his hiding place, upside-down in the - fortunately empty - potty.
Pip appeared and began re-assembling the house and its contents with her usual cheer, leaving Severus free to fetch his monthly dose of contraceptive potion from the laboratory. A small beaker of neutralising solution was still standing on the bench where he had left it earlier while researching why only the orange-flavoured Flatulent Fancies had the desired effect, for the upcoming Christmas Special range at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. The sight of it reminded him that he had still not finished.
Reaching for the bottle of contraceptive, he pondered the complete failure of the blueberry Fancy. George had mentioned in passing that all of their blueberry-flavoured goods required a special artificial enhancer to ensure the recipient's tongue became sufficiently blue – Snape had rolled his eyes and recited his hourly fee under his breath as a reminder of why he suffered such nonsense. He was making a mental note to chart all the ingredients of the additive as he drank the potion and poured the neutralising solution down the sink.
Five weeks of nausea, dizziness and mood swings later, Snape was forced to conclude that in his distracted state, he must have drunk the solution and poured the contraceptive down the sink.
…….
TWO AND A BIT YEARS AFTER THAT.
The wedding reception was taking place at Bourdon Hall, ancestral home of the Dumbledore family since before records of that sort of thing began. Albus had been forced to take up permanent residence there after inhabitants of Hogsmeade, led by Aberforth, put together a petition to eject him from his village after little Promethia accidentally burned down the Hog's Head during her first flying lesson. Fawkes had almost exploded with pride, but Albus had conceded that two phoenixes in one small area was probably inappropriate.
It was a fitting location for the festivities. Albus had spent a great deal of energy enthusiastically lobbying the Ministry over the question of legalising gay magical marriage, pointing out that the muggles had done it yonks ago. The debate had been fierce, with the 'Anti' faction only caving in when Harry Potter announced his tremendous disappointment that the society he had fought so hard to protect would not legally recognise his commitment to the man he loved.
After five tempestuous years, where every row and drunken infidelity was reported in the Daily Prophet gossip column, the great soap opera which was the Potter-Wood love affair finally crash-landed at the altar. Harry was ecstatic and wept with joy throughout the ceremony and speeches.
He was currently dancing very close with Remus, while Snape and Oliver watched like hawks from opposite sides of the room. Catching each other's eyes, they smirked briefly and the newlywed Keeper made his way through the celebrating throng and sat down next to his former teacher.
"Hello, Sir," he shook Snape's hand.
"Congratulations, Mr Wood," he returned politely.
"And this wee man must be Freddie?" he addressed the eighteen-month-old, who was clinging to his Papa like a baby monkey, a little alarmed by the boisterous crowds. Snape tapped him on the shoulder and he turned to look at the newcomer, who gasped.
Even his fathers had to admit that Frederick Albinius Lupin-Snape was a strange-looking child. The unfathomable black eyes and disproportionately large hooked nose clashed startlingly with his cherubic blond ringlets. Remus assured his partner that the hair was a Lupin trait, that the colour would fade to light brown as he grew older, probably making less of a contrast with his black eyes.
However, all of these features were secondary to the enormous, beaming smile which he proudly exhibited on all but the scariest occasions. It made Severus slightly paranoid that anyone who saw it would adore the happy little boy so much they would steal him away. With Lupin's help he managed to overcome his paranoia and play the part of a calm and balanced father. Most of the time.
Freddie turned his hundred-watt smile on Oliver, who melted instantly.
"Oh, aren't you a bonny thing! Hello!" he pinched Freddie's chubby cheek.
Say Hello, Frederick, signed Severus.
Freddie waved a hand and smiled some more.
"Oh," Oliver looked startled. "Oh yes, I forgot about… Aren't there spells you can do?"
"Not until he's older," said Snape, falling into lecture made at the frequently asked question. "Amplificus can be used to instigate partial hearing, though casting it accurately is such a delicate matter experts believe no one but the individual concerned should attempt it. At this stage, it would be highly inadvisable. We will request a limited-power wand when Freddie reached the age of seven, by which time he will be able to cast it himself."
"So he'll have seven years of silence until then?" asked the bridegroom sadly. "Sounds tough."
The stereo was pumping fast tempo party tunes. On the other side of the room, the Puddlemere United team was shrieking rude songs about well-hung warlocks, Fawkes and various aurors were playing a drinking game which involved banging firewhiskey bottles on the table while one victim undertook some kind of noisy forfeit. Promethia was perched on Dumbledore's shoulder, preening her beautiful feathers and periodically shooting a musical trill at Fawkes which blatantly translated as 'Stop it, Dad, you're SO embarrassing!'
Snape took the whole scene in with a sneer.
"Tough? It sounds wonderful!" he sighed.
Presently, Saskia galloped up with all the guests between the ages of three and nine in tow. Each of them was displaying every sign of enjoyment at being bossed around all afternoon by the five-year-old animagus. She removed her favourite set of pink satin dragon dressing-up wings and tossed them to a minion, who evidently considered himself blessed at having been chosen for the task, bearing them before him like the crown jewels. Snape inspected him closely. A Weasley, for certain. There was no way of telling which particular one.
Saskia transformed into Cocoa the wolf to make Freddie laugh. The minions gasped and cheered while Freddie clapped his little hands together in delight at his sister's cleverness. She changed back and accepted the adulation magnanimously.
Come and play, Freddie-foo! She commanded. Freddie looked at Severus for permission before sliding off his lap and waddling away with the older children.
Be careful! Snape admonished in both signs and words. They ignored him, already intent on wreaking havoc in some poor unsuspecting corner of the mansion.
Unable to stand the sight of his new husband dancing with the ex any longer, Oliver strode over to the dancefloor and cut in. Remus bowed and graciously handed Harry over, then left the floor. He followed Snape's anxious gaze as it tracked the motley selection of children charging out of the door.
"They'll be fine," he assured his partner as he sat down beside him.
Snape looked dubious but nodded anyway and subtly took hold of Remus' hand for reassurance, as the werewolf had known he would. Snape glanced up as his palm brushed against the velvety cube nestling in the other man's grip.
"What is this?" he asked, examining the small black box. Lupin smirked but said nothing, so Snape located the clasp on the front and opened it up. Tucked inside was a gold band with a modest square-cut emerald glinting against the metal and a runic inscription of love etched on the inside.
Snape froze. Lupin shrugged apologetically and kissed him tenderly on the lips.
"I'm afraid you have one more choice to make, my love," he whispered.
…….
AN: The End! Or the Beginning?
Thank you all SO BLOODY MUCH for your wonderful support throughout this fic! Your responses have been really encouraging and I feel very privileged to have so many kind people enjoying my stuff.
Should have said last time: 'Fine eyes' was Pride and Prejudice, of course, the 'unfortunate brother' was from The Importance of Being Earnest – though Duj found a plethora of other hilarious references from Google. 'Bourdon Hall' – bourdon is French for bumblebee, which of course is the modern translation for the Old English word 'dumbledore'. Excuse my inability to resist quizzes!
There will be one last post - an epilogue with a bit of an insight into how Saskia and Freddie turn out! See you then, dear friends. Love, SN x