For the first time in fourteen years, the Lupin-Snape household was childless. Severus and Remus had loaded eleven year-old Freddie onto the Hogwarts Express with Saskia, and when they returned from the station, the house was eerily empty.
Snape lasted for five days before having an emotional episode alone in his lab and deciding that there was only one possible course of action.
Wholly engrossed in a particularly tricky chapter of his book, Lupin barely registered the door of his study opening and his husband slinking into the room wearing their favourite black silk negligee and nothing else.
"Rrrremus," he purred seductively, posing himself elegantly against a bookcase.
"Mm?" Remus replied, too wrapped up in a grammatically taxing sentence and his mug of hot tea to pay proper attention. The Secret Weapon shone like polished ebony in the evening light as Severus ran his hands through its silken tresses.
"Let's have another baby," he fluttered his eyelashes too, for good measure.
Remus frowned over a split infinitive and scratched the inside of his earhole with the end of his quill.
"Don't be silly, you're much too old," he murmured.
The silence descended like an explosion, and despite several hours of backtracking and shameless grovelling, Remus still found himself exiled to Saskia's room at bedtime. Wide awake, he gazed at one of the many posters of dragons on the pink walls and reflected that it was his own fault, really. He ought to have been paying more attention to his highly-strung husband's emotional needs at this difficult time, not stressing over his publisher's unreasonable deadline. It had been an unforgivable comment.
An hour later, when he tried to slip back into their bedroom, the door handle bit him.
The Arctic atmosphere at the breakfast table the following morning told Remus that he was still in big trouble. He was wondering whether suggesting a trip to Diagon Alley to buy a kitten to ease the pain of empty-nest syndromewould earn him a hug or a slap when help arrived in the form of two breathless Hogwarts owls, who had obviously been racing each other all the way from the Highlands. Snape snatched the two letters from them with avaricious delight.
"From the kids?" asked Remus, sitting up and offering bits of sausage to the birds.
"Of course," sneered Severus, glancing from one envelope to the other. Forgetting that he was not supposed to be speaking to Remus, he asked, "Which shall we read first?"
"Freddie's," said Lupin instantly. "I'm dying to know which house he's in!"
Severus handed the letter over and Remus called Pip to come and listen while he read it aloud.
Dear Papa and Daddy (and Pip of course),
I'm in Ravenclaw!
The sorting was a bit scary but Fleur was in charge and she was really nice so that helped. I even remembered what you told me and called her 'Professor Weasley' not 'Fleur' and she winked at me. I think all the boys are in love with her.
Ravenclaw Tower is so cool, there are so many books and secret passages everywhere I think I could live there for a hundred years and not find everything. And the library! It's amazing! Unfortunately first years have to leave by 8:30 every evening so we can get ready for bed, so I am always being thrown out just as I get to an interesting bit of text. But Professor Patil -she's my housemistress -says we're allowed to spend as much time as we like there at weekends, so that's OK.
There are four of us in our dormitory. Rupert Finch-Fletchley, Devon Buzzard and Pog Jellyby, who is never called Marmaduke on pain of death. The first morning, Rupert told me he had heard Devon crying for his Mum in the night so we made sure we ran around exploring and being so busy that he got too exhausted to be homesick. Rupert says he's been fine ever since. I miss you a bit but I haven't cried.
I met the Gryffindor ghost whose head is hanging off and you can see all the bits inside his neck. He says 'Joyful Sanitations' to you both. Or I think that's what he said, I was lipreading because I have to turn off my Ampli spell whenever I'm near Gryffindors because they are so loud. I never thought anything could be louder than Papa and Saskia having an argument but I was wrong. The Gryffs shout all the time, even when they're standing right next to each other. It's quite alarming.
I've noticed at mealtimes thatwhen Saskia speaks everyone at the Slytherin table stops talking and listens to what she says. At breakfast she sometimes sits with her friend Dervla who is in Hufflepuff, and the Hufflepuffs all do it too. She is called Sass by everyone.
Lessons are fun but really easy. I know the answers to all of the questions the teachers ask and I've already got fifteen points for Ravenclaw. This is good because Pog got caught with some of Fred and George'sSmokey-Noses in Transfiguration yesterday and Professor Patil took ten points, even though it's her own house. I didn't tell anyone that Pa and I helped develop them last summer!
Uncle Albus sent me some cockroach clusters which were disgusting so I gave them to Pog, and a nice letter which was a bit burnt at the edges because Fawkes won't let him keep an owl.
I hope you can both come to the first Quidditch match in October – Hufflepuff vs. Slytherin so Saskia will be playing. Rupert is trying out for our team, he has a wicked broom and Professor Wood says he flies really well.
Love you, Freddie x
PS I sent this with a school owl because Crosspatch got into a fight with Gwendolyn Weasley's owl Stumpy. They are both OK but sulking.
By the time Remus finished reading, he had a lump in his throat and Snape was crying into his toast, both desperately missing their clever little boy who was coping so well with being away from home. A good deal better than his parents were, in fact. He nudged the other letter forwards for his husband to read.
"Shall we see how my treasure is getting on?" he sniffed, brightening as he always did at the thought of Saskia.
Remus broke the seal to reveal a much more unruly script, looking as though the writer had only a short window in her hectic schedule for writing letters.
Dear Pa and Dad,
The Brat's in a blue tie, but we knew he would be.
He hangs around the library with three weird-looking boys who seem nice, as far as I can tell. One has dreadlocks down to his waist, one is as wide as he is tall and the other is so posh as to be unintelligible. I'm keeping my distance so he finds everything out for himself, but I have made it known in all the relevant quarters that anyone having a go at him will incur my serious displeasure. Don't tell him, for Merlin's sake!
I'm Deputy Quidditch Captain this year, which is great because I have some intriguing new ideas about multi-height attacking formations to try out. We're playing on Saturday 17th October if you want to come and watch, though it will be a pushover as half the Hufflepuff team (the decent half) were seventh years and left last term. I heard a rumour from Dervla that they are so desperate they might even field Tracey Longbottom! Can you imagine? Erica tried out for our vacant beater position this morning but managed to knock herself unconscious while she was still on the ground, which worked against her. That's three years running she's failed now. The dunderhead.
Hagrid's arthur-itis (his pronunciation) has got so bad now he can't hold a quill, though he looks quite cheerful about this. He was never any good at writing. He's asked the Headmistress if I can become a sort of official Care of Magical Creatures assisstant, which is great because I can learn all about the paperwork required for interesting creatures and answer the enquiries which people send him about their unusual pets. One of his dodgy mates inStaffordshire swears there's a lame mooncalf on his brother-in-law's farm, because the patterns it left in the cornfields last month were all lopsided and not at all like a normal mooncalf. Here she had drawn two little diagrams highlighting the difference. Hagrid thinks I'll be a big help because of my sensitivity to the phases of the Moon, so you might be getting a permission form to sign to say I can leave school property with him and Killer. Actually, Killer is scared of the dark so probably won't come, unless we do some investigating during the day.
Westwood-Booth called me in for the Head of House Start-of-Term chat on Monday evening. He asked very politely if I wouldn't mind trying to pay attention to some of the other lessons, not just Care of Magical Creatures. I told him I'd think about it and he gave five points to Slytherin. I know I'm his all-time favourite student because he's in love with Pa, which is probably morally wrong or something, though good for my points tally.
Here, Snape shifted uncomfortably at the memories she had unwittingly conjured of a similar situation many years ago. Oblivious, Remus read on.
Hamish Jagger and Eyeful (do you remember her? Jennifer Tower. She was the one who messed up a Wronksi feint in the match last February and had to be dug out of the pitch,) in fifth year have started a rock band and asked me to be their lead singer. See, I am considering career options which don't involve dragons, as I promised you last week!
Anyway, you take care. Tell Pip we had rhubarb crumble last night but the school elves never make it as well as she does. I hope she's taking care of you two and you're not squabbling now the Brat's not there to referee.
Love, S.
PS Erica's family will be away for the first week of the Christmas holidays. Can she come and stay again? I promise we'll behave this time.
Pip danced at the compliment, Remus shook his head at the "referee" comment and Severus pretended to bang his head against the breakfast table at the whole letter. The adoring smile of paternal pride which blossomed each time Saskia was mentioned was fixed in its usual position, however, so the Remus resumed eating without trying to interfere.
"Do you suppose our daughter will ever open a book which doesn't refer directly to dangerous beasts?" the werewolf asked, conversationally. Snape flicked his hair back into position and considered this for a moment.
"Probably not," he decided. "Though she passes most of the other subjects without bothering to study." The smug look would have been irritating to anyone less well acquainted with the peculiar dynamic between father and daughter. Lupin fully understood the long and painful acceptance of the need to 'agree to disagree' on whether academic success was the only kind worth having. Freddie had got used to cancelling his Amplificus and hiding behind Remus as all hell broke loose in the cataclysmic days before Severus gave up trying to make her do extra reading about anything other than toothy monsters or racing brooms.
Lupin's eyes grew suspiciously misty as he remembered the years when they had all been together as a family, now consigned to the past, at least until December. The house had been tidy for an unimaginable five days now - there had been no unfortunate explosions from Freddie's potions experiments, no injured wild animals found hidden under Saskia's bed, no screaming matches between Snape and Saskia inevitably dissolving into guilty declarations of fierce mutual love and cuddles, and no plaintive wails of "it wasn't me!". No wonder poor Severus was upset.
"I'm sorry I haven't been very helpful," said Remus quietly. "I think I was trying to ignore the changes by working too hard. I shouldn't have ignored you too."
Severus looked up from re-reading the letters in case Lupin had made any mistakes of content or nuance.
"No, you shouldn't," he pouted, but reached out and grasped Remus' hand. "I admit that I become unreasonable where the children are concerned. It was bad enough when Saskia left, but now Freddie is gone too I am at a loss. She said we would squabble."
"Future rock star or no, she is a very astute young witch. Perhaps we need to go away for a bit," pondered Remus, taking the pale hand in both of his own and caressing it.
"A holiday?" asked Severus, sounding interested. He leaned closer to his husband who, delighted at being forgiven, let his hands wander. Sensing where this was leading, Pip vanished with the vaguest hint of a 'pop', still beaming at Little Mistress' reference to her crumble.
"A second honeymoon," whispered Remus suggestively, nibbling on the ticklish patch on the nape of Severus' neck - one of the few areas of skin which had not been defensively buttoned away out of reach after the argument the previous night.
"You cannot still be whinging because I insisted we take the children on our first honeymoon?" he asked with a lethal kind of softness. Lupin was paying attention this time and avoided the trap.
"Of course not. We had a wonderful family holiday nine years ago," he mouthed against the darker man's lips, pausing to taste him and run his fingers through the beloved greasy locks. "But this time, I like the idea of having nothing to do but lie around somewhere warm and enjoy each other."
"I suppose you will bring your manuscript," Snape sighed with resignation.
"Nope. I owled the Obscurus officethis morning to say that I needed an extension on that wretched deadline. So I'm all yours, Gorgeous."
Severus demonstrated his wholehearted approval of this development over the kitchen table, halfway up the stairs and then once again on the bedroom floor.
After the few hours of sleep which were necessary for recovering from their exertions, the writer gently ran his hands across his lover's flat chest until he opened his eyes. Remembering the conversation that had produced their current bout of morning lovemaking, Snape was wide-awake almost immediately.
"Where shall we go on holiday?" he breathed into Lupin's ear. "Amalfi, like last time? Or Koh Tao? But Greece is your favourite, is it not? What about the Dodecanese?"
Delighted that Severus was so receptive to the idea, he turned and kissed him with swollen lips, almost drowning in the bottomless black gaze of intense love and trust. It was inconceivable to think that this wonderful life might not have been theirs had Snape made different decisions.
If he had found an alternative father for Saskia, Remus might still have been sitting alone in his old flat with nothing but a bottle of firewhiskey and bitter memories for company.
If he had accepted a different offer after her birth, Hogwarts' newest boy-genius might have been called Freddie Dumbledore-Snape.
Lupin shuddered at these ghosts of roads not taken and held his husband as tight as he dared.
"You have evidently been planning this," murmured Severus, as clearly as he could while being held fast in a death-grip. "Do you have a list of places you wish to consider?"
"I don't want anything to do with lists," laughed Remus. He received a swift smack on the arm.
"Oh yes, you would only burn them, anyhow," he sneered good-naturedly, having maintained his photographic memory for slights, insults and outrages. "So how shall we decide where to go, my love?"
Remus melted completely at the rare endearment, concluding that he didn't really care where they ended up, as long as there was a bed and his husband. Plunging into the dark eyes once more, he gave Severus a kiss so deep and lingering that they were both gasping by the time it ended. Not just for oxygen, either.
"I'll go anywhere you like, Severus. Why don't you make the choice?"
THE END
A bit of cheesy fluff to finish!
I know I've left lots of 'issues' unexplored here – deafness in the wizarding world, magical rock 'n' roll, the complicated relationship of love and exasperation between Snape and the un-academic Saskia, the development of the RL/SS love story, how Oliver retired and ended up teaching, Freddie's gang, Saskia's loyal followers, and many others. A small matter of there only being 24 hours in a day…
And Remus never did find out about the Lucius/Lucy thing. Our Slytherin needs to have some Significant Secrets. All part of his mystique.
I am so grateful for all the kind and insightful reviews which have been written about this story, they have really helped – especially the ones pointing out things I had not previously thought about! LOL. Thank you for taking the time to read this odd little fic.
With much love, Snape's Nightie x