Original Trainer Adventures
By Asha Leu/Cyclone49
I've edited the first three chapters a little to fix up some grammer and spelling errors I didn't notice before. Thanks for the reviews I've received so far. Please keep the reviews coming.
Chapter 4: Meet The Stupids
"Potatoes! Potatoes are attacking me!" a female voice screamed. Bobby Sketchit awoke with a start, his heart racing. Was somebody being attacked? When Uncle Tracey came to stay, he often used to warn Bobby and his mother of a powerful army of carrots and potatoes that would soon take over the earth. Then his mother would kick Tracey out of the house, as these paranoid warnings usually meant he had started smoking crack again. Looking over to his side, Bobby breathed a sigh of relief as he realized it was simply Katie talking in her sleep again. He lay back down in his bed, desperately trying to ignore Katie's night terrors.
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Bobby stumbled downstairs into the lobby of the Defecatus City Pokemon Center, his eyes bloodshot. Katie followed, in a significantly better mood.
"Wow, I had a great sleep last night," Katie said in a chirpy voice, "Those Pokemon Center beds are so comfortable, aren't they?"
"Yeah..." Bobby muttered, who had gotten less than an hours sleep the last night due to Katie's nightmares. They walked up to the counter to retrieve their Pokemon. A Chansey walked up to them holding a tray with four Pokeballs on it. A weird smell was coming from Grimer's pokeball, as if someone had tried to scrub it with soap and detergent. Unfortunately, it didn't mask his smell and the combination of scents actually made it smell worse than before. Bobby and Katie took their pokeballs and started to walk off.
"Hey, wait a minute, kids!" Nurse Joy called, "You owe us 40 dollars for healing your Pokemon and 15 dollars for staying the night."
"Ah, yes, that," Bobby started, "Well, you see, I'd love to pay you, but... TAILLOW! USE SAND ATTACK!" Taillow, who had been let of her pokeball just before, filled the room with dust and Bobby and Katie ran off.
"We really need to come up with an way to get some money," Bobby said, as they escaped into a crowd of people in the middle of Defecatus City.
"Hmm... I think I have an idea..." Katie said.
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Ten minutes later, a bunch of residents of Defecatus City watched in amusement as a Pichu, a Grimer and a Mudkip walked in front of them and started dancing.
"Aww... look at them dance..." one said.
"They're so cute! I want one!" a little kid cried excitedly.
"Why isn't my Pokemon cool like those ones?" another kid said ungratefully.
"Feebas..." his Pokemon replied sadly.
"That Grimer could use a shower though." said one person unwisely, as a handful of shit was pelted into his face followed by an angry "Grime!". As the people watched the cute little Pokemon dance, they were completely unaware that their wallets and bags were being stolen by two young Pokemon trainers.
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"Okay, that's 300 dollars in total," Bobby said as they counted their money afterwards, "This should be enough for a little while at least."
"STOP RIGHT THERE!" yelled a familiar voice. Katie, Bobby and Grimer looked over to see Goja the ninja standing in front of them. "I saw your dishonorable deed! You have broken the ancient Samurai code, and for that, you shall be punished! Defeat me in battle, and I shall not report your thievery to the city watchmen!"
"You mean the police?" Bobby asked.
"...yes." Goja replied, "Well, do one of you dishonorable thieves have the courage to face me and my mighty ninja Pokemon in battle?"
"Uh, okay." Katie said.
"Very well, we shall fight a three on three battle-"
"But I only have two Pokemon." Katie protested.
"Very well, we shall fight a three on two battle!"
"That's not very honorable." Bobby said.
"SILENCE! ONLY GOJA MAY DECIDE WHAT IS HONORABLE AND WHAT IS NOT HONORABLE!" Goja screamed, causing several people nearby to stare at him. A few of them shook their heads, muttering about that annoying hobo that always dressed as a ninja and bothered people, "NOW, THIS BATTLE SHALL COMMENCE, AND YOU SHALL FEEL THE WRATH OF MY MIGHTY, POWERFUL AND ABOVE ALL FRIGHTENINING NINJA POKEMON! GO... CLEFAIRY!"
"Clefairy!" cried the small pink puffball happily.
"Um... how exactly is that a ninja Pokemon?" Katie asked.
"THAT IS IRRELEVANT! JUST SEND OUT YOUR POKEMON!" Goja shrieked.
"Whatever..." Katie muttered, "Go Mudkip!"
"Clefairy! Use your graceful ninja strike!" Goja cried.
"Cle!" Clefairy squeaked, running up to Mudkip with all the grace of a drunken elephant and using pound on it.
"Mudkip, use watergun." Katie said. Mudkip shot a blast of water at Clefairy, knocking it back, as Grimer cheered.
"Clefairy! Use your stealthy ninja attack!" Goja screamed. Clefairy ran up to Mudkip and pounded it in the face.
"Okay, Mudkip, um, pick up one of those rocks and bash the Clefairy with it!" Katie cried. Mudkip grabbed a large stone and leaped on the Clefairy, bashing it in the face.
"FAAAAAAAAAIIIIRYYY!" the Clefairy screamed.
"Clefairy! USE NINJA EVASION!" Goja shreiked. The Clefairy pushed the Mudkip off it and attempted to run away.
"Mudkip, use watergun again." Mudkip shot another jet of water at Clefairy, knocking it onto it's stomach.
"Clefairy, return!" Goja said, sending back into the pokeball. He then started screaming at the pokeball, "YOU WEAK WORTHLESS POKEMON! YOU HAVE FAILED YOUR NINJA MASTER! WHAT KIND OF NINJA ARE YOU! YOU HAVE LOST ALL HONOR FOR YOUR COWARDICE!"
"Um, Katie, I think it may be wise to get away from this guy now, since he seems a few sandwiches short of a picnic..." Bobby said nervously. He, Katie and Grimer started backing away, when Goja spotted them.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU THREE ARE GOING? THIS MATCH ISN'T OVER YET! GO PIDGEY!" He threw a pokeball, and out of it came a small, weedy looking Pidgey, "PIDGEY! USE NINJA BLAST!" With a meak "Pidge!", the Pidgey generated a surprisingly large gust of wind that knocked Mudkip over, sending it rolling across the ground towards Katie's feet.
"Damn it," Katie muttered, "Okay, go Pichu. Use thundershock." A large spark of electrecity came out of Pichu's cheeks and fried the Pidgey, knocking it unconscious. A speechless Goja sent it back into it's pokeball.
"DAMN YOU, YOU USELESS BIRD! YOU HAVE INSULTED YOUR NINJA HERITAGE! YOU HAVE FAILED ME! YOU HAVE NO HONOR!" Goja screamed at the pokeball, and he pulled out his third pokeball, "Well, little girl, you may have defeated my first two pokemon, but now you must face my final Ninja Pokemon, my most powerful, my most frightening, my most talented Ninja Pokemon! Go... DIGLETT!" The small, mole like Pokemon appeared in the ground near Pichu, it's eyes darting around nervously.
"Do you even have any Pokemon that could remotely be considered as ninjas?" Bobby asked incredulously.
"Well, I meant to have a Mewtwo, a Scizor and a Hitmonchan, but for some reason I couldn't find any around here." Goja said, "Anyway, Diglett, USE YOUR ULTIMATE NINJA ATTACK!" Diglett disappeared under the ground.
"Okay, Pichu, be careful..." Katie said nervously, "Try and anticipate where-" Katie was cut off by the Diglett bursting out of the ground, sending Pichu flying.
"Pichu, use tackle!" Katie said to the battered mouse, as it charged the Diglett, attempting to punch it with it's puny arms.
"DIGLETT! USE YOUR STEALTHY NINJA STRIKE OF HONORABLE GRACE!" Goja shreiked, sweating profusely. Diglett opened a mouth that most observers wouldn't even think existed, revealing a bunch of surprisingly sharp teeth, and bit Pichu.
"CHUUUU!" Pichu screamed, as the Diglett latched onto it.
"Pichu, tackle it again." Katie said. Pichu whacked the phallus-like creature, managing to escape from it's powerful jaws. The Diglett charged it, knocking it unconscious.
"HAHAHAHAHA! GOJA HAS DEFEATED YOU!" Goja laughed, "YOU HAVE NO HONOR-" He was interrupted by several Nurse Joy's who immediately tackled him to the ground. They were all wearing blue uniforms which said Port Deranged Mental Asylum.
"Timmy, there you are," one of the Joys said, "You had us all worried about you."
"Who is this Timmy you speak of? I am the mighty Goja, fierce Ninja Warrior!" Goja protested.
"You haven't been taking your medicine, have you Timmy?" another Joy asked.
"Timmy! Have you being stealing Pokemon again?" a third Joy demanded, spotting the pokeballs on his belt. She handed them to the second Joy, "Try and find out who these Pokemon belong to. But examine them first, you know the sordid things he likes to do to Pokemon." The second Joy walked off with the pokeballs.
"Sorry about him," the first Joy explained to a dumbstruck Bobby, Katie and Grimer, "He somehow managed to escape from Port Deranged Mental Asylum few days ago after tricking one of our guards into thinking he was a Nurse Joy, and we only just tracked him down."
"Thank you so much for finding them," the second Joy said, "Please, take this Pokemon as a reward. It was abandoned by it's trainer a few weeks ago. Even though I've never met you before, and for I know you could be some crazy person who likes to abuse Pokemon or sell their organs on the black market, I think I'll give it to you, since I'm sure you would be able to do a better job taking care of it then a group of trained Pokemon nurses." Even though Bobby and Katie hadn't actually done anything to stop Timmy getting away, they weren't going to deny the opportunity of getting free stuff.
"Thanks." Bobby said, taking the pokeball.
"Well, we'd better be off. Come on Timmy," the first Joy looked around to see that when they were handing the pokeball to Bobby, Timmy had run off, "God dammit, not again!"
"That's the third time this week!" the second Joy screamed, as they ran after Timmy.
"They don't seem to be the most skilled nurses, do they?" Bobby said.
"Yeah, the Port Deranged Mental Asylum is filled with problems," Katie replied, "My Aunt Misty goes there, and she always escapes to come and visit us, or that weird homeless guy with the Raichu that she used to date. You see, Port Deranged has one of those welfare thingies where people who aren't able to get jobs due to, well, extreme stupidity are given jobs. Anyway, a lot of these people end up working as guards at Port Deranged, and apparently all you have to do is tell them you are a Nurse Joy and they'll believe you."
"Heheh, your family is fucked up."
"Yeah, I know. Our last family reunion made worldwide news because my third cousin Cletus announced he was going to marry his Girafarig, and of course his wife Brandine wasn't very happy about this, and tried to get her Snorlax. Anyway, Cletus's brother Angus tried to protect him, and it all went out of control. The police arrived eventually, but by then seven people had already died and Cletus and Girafarig had consummated their marriage," Katie said, to a stunned Bobby and Grimer, "So, anyway, we should see what that Pokemon is."
"Go, whatever you are." Bobby said, sending out the Pokemon.
"Sluuugggg..." the red blob that came out said, staring up at Bobby and Katie with vacant eyes.
"What is it with you and weird, disgusting, sludgy creatures?" Katie asked.
"Grime!" Grimer snapped indignantly.
"What the heck is that thing?" Bobby muttered, pointing his Pokedex at it.
"Slugma. The lava pokemon. This blob of molten rock is over 1200 degrees Celcius, and must not be touched under any circumstances. Many young trainers have often suffered painful deaths from trying to hug or cuddle their Slugmas."
"Wait. If you can't touch it, how on earth did it's trainer abuse it?" Bobby pondered.
"Perhaps it poured cold water on it or something. Or locked it in a fridge." Katie replied.
"Well, anyway, where should we go now?" asked Bobby, sending Slugma back into it's pokeball.
"There's a Gym over there, why don't we try and get a badge?" Katie offered. But before Bobby could answer, two shadowed figures jumped out in front of them.
"Preparing you should be for trouble." The first one said.
"And be warned, it is very double." The second added.
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Charles Portman quickly walked into the Team Stone headquarters. He had stolen a Pokemon from the disgraced professor, Gary Oak, the other night, and was eager to present it to his boss. There had been many rumors of Professor Oak having several legendary Pokemon, and Charles was sure this was one of them. After all, why else would he have displayed it on that table the way he did.
Presenting his identification to the guards, he walked into his boss's office. Despite the fact that sunlight was shining through the large window behind them, the boss's face was completely obscured by shadow.
"What is it you have for me, Charles..." the boss said, stroking a Magnemite in a way that would certainly warrant a lawsuit from the James Bond creators.
"I have stolen a legendary Pokemon from Gary Oak. I am here to give it to you." Charles said nervously.
"Very well," the boss replied, "If this indeed is a legendary Pokemon, you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams. However, if you are just wasting my time, you will suffer a horrible, painful death..."
"Oh, uh, okay..." Charles said, sweating profusely. He hadn't expected this. But, then again, he was completely sure about this Pokemon, "Go, legendary Pokemon!" Charles and the boss stared at what had emerged.
"Magi. Magikarp."