Absolute Chaos
By Vorserkeien & LightningDisclaimer: We own nothing to do with Tomb Raider or Lara Croft, Lord of the Rings, James Bond nor anything else in this fic.
Exception: Vorserkeien, Lightning and the 'Danny Inn' were created by us. Contact us first if you wish to use them.
Chain Bookings
The sun had only just risen and it was scarcely 8 o'clock when the office phone rang. It rang several times before it was finally answered by Lightning. Strange sounds floated down the stairs and, although most guests had got used to this, it was still rather unnerving each time Vorserkeien began singing in the shower. The phone rang and was answered by Lightning,
"Hello, the Danny Inn…Excuse me, can you repeat that please? …Sorry? Excuse me for a moment."
She covered the mouthpiece with one hand before yelling up the stairs,
"SHUT UP!!"
She removed her hand and made another attempt at the conversation,
"Sorry about that. You were saying? …Let's see, you want a room for next Monday? That's OK. How many rooms do you want? …Just one? …That's fine. How long do you wish to stay for? …One week? …Yes, that's fine. Who may I put you down as? …Are you sure? …Very well then, one room next Monday wanted for one week for 007. All details correct? …Good. Thank you for calling. Have a safe journey here. We will enjoy having you. Goodbye."
As soon as she had put the phone down, she shouted up the stairs to Vorserkeien.
"Ok, you can start singing again."
"Too late," came the reply, " I'm out!"
A figure walked downstairs dressed in a pair of cut off jeans, revealing two slender legs, and a sleeveless top with a very low neckline.
"If you're thinking of working wearing that, think again."
"Excuse me?"
"You are not wearing that in this hotel. Can't you dress according to the regulations?"
Before Vorserkeien could answer, the phone rang. Glaring fiercely at her, Lightning answered it.
"Hello? …One moment please."
She handed over the phone with a look of annoyance before saying, "It's for you."
The other girl took the phone from her, "Hello? …Oh Legolas, hi…Here? …Midday? …Well I can't see why not. But Legolas, did you hear about that new restaurant…Yes I know ours is good but…Oh yes I agree entirely, still it was only a really, really small thought…Hinting? Me? Do you think I'd do that? …Well maybe…Yes, I'm quite happy with those plans…Yes indeed; I'll see you later then… Yep, bye then."
At this point, Lightning's finger had been resting on the switch that cancelled the call and as Vorserkeien finished her conversation she pushed it firmly.
"That was Legolas."
"So I figured."
"In short, he's coming here at Midday."
"I was afraid of that."
"Look, what the hell's the matter with you?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing."
Vorserkeien gave a small snort, showing that she did not believe it, before announcing to Lightning's great irritation that she would be going shopping but she would be back before midday. Without giving Lightning a chance to react she left the hotel quickly.
As the door slammed, Lightning gave a small, short shriek of anger as the telephone rang again.
"Yes, what? …Oh sorry…No, I thought that someone who I didn't want to would ring back. I'm really, very sorry…Yes of course...When for? …Next Monday… Two rooms? … One week? … Who can I put you down as? … Oh, are you sure? … Fine. Mr. Goggles is it? … So let me see, that's £50 per night, so that's eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr………. £700, thank you sir, I am useless at my tables. Very well, I hope that you will have a safe journey here."
Lightning put down the receiver. 'Strange.' She thought 'It is not unusual for two people to book on the same day but when they'll arrive on the same day and stay for the same amount of time...' She trailed off as the phone suddenly rang again.
"Hello, the Danny Inn. She is not here at the moment, can I take a message? … Oh, don't tell me, it's Legolas. STOP RINGING ME UP!" Slamming the phone down she walked across the room to the bookshelf. Then she found a big address book. Flicking through the pages, she found what she was looking for. Picking up the phone, she dialled in some numbers and waited for a response.
"Hello, Vorsie, is that you? … TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND TO STOP RINGING UP THE HOTEL UNLESS IT IS A DIRE EMERGENCY. IS THAT CLEAR? … GOOD!"
She slammed the phone down harder than she had intended, then walked into the exceedingly large kitchen.
"Mr. Hazer? …Mr. Hazer? …Where are you?"
Then Lightning spotted a podgy face round one of the doors that lead to the parlours. In a very small, squeaky voice the Head Chef answered her.
"I didn't know you were on the phone Miss Lightning. When I heard you shout it shocked me, and the knife I was using shot out of my hand somehow. It nearly hit one of the others. The new one. Poor lad, he probably fears me now. Anyway, he went kind of loopy and we all ran to hide. He ran into a different room though. Hold on." Then he shouted as loud as he could round the door, "Come out now, all of you!"
Precisely 98 chefs came out from one of the parlours. They all hurried to different parts of the kitchen and continued doing what they were originally doing. Slowly another door opened and a final chef ran out to his place and continued to work.
"Anyway, Miss Lightning, what did you wish to talk to me about?"
"I came to ask if you had the list for food we need."
"Asking a bit early this week, aren't you Miss Lightning?"
"Is that a yes or a no?"
"Err…no."
"Fine. Will you have it ready for tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"Good."
The phone began ringing again. Lightning excused herself and hurried to answer it.
"Hello, the Danny Inn…You want 20 rooms for one week starting from next Monday? …No, we don't seem to have a problem with that. Do you want the rooms next to each other? …Yes, I will see to that. What name shall I put down? …Mr. North? …Sure, no problem, that will be, hold on a moment please, £7000…Of course. Have a safe journey here. Goodbye."
"Right. Now things are really becoming strange. One call, fine, 2 calls same day, same time, coincidental, but 3 calls for the same day and who stay for the same amount of time and who all call before 9 o'clock is just downright weird."
She left the room with the intention of greeting guests and finding something for breakfast. This idea, however, was short-lived.
The phone rang for a 6th time. Lightning groaned and hurried back to answer it, cursing Vorserkeien as she went.
"Hello, the Danny Inn…What now Vorsie? …Yes…No I can't come to pick you and Legolas up, firstly it's only 9 o'clock, secondly I'm needed here to answer these blasted phone calls because you're not here and thirdly I haven't had any breakfast yet…Well you should've thought of that before you left…Of course the shops don't open 'til 9. Anyway I thought you weren't meeting up with Legolas until midday…You aren't asking for much, are you? …No I can't…Forget it, goodbye."
Lightning slammed the phone into its cradle forcefully and she left the room. She was determined to have something to eat without interruption.
Walking into the breakfast room, Lightning hurried to the self-service canteen and piled 2 pieces of toast, 1 big spoon of baked beans, scrambled egg and a small box of corn flakes onto her plate. She walked over to a small, two person, table. Opening her cereals she realized that she had forgotten to get a bowl and cutlery. Once she had got these and a glass of orange juice, she finally settled down to the well-deserved breakfast.
Though peace did not last long. Only a couple of minutes after she had started her breakfast the phone rang again. Angrily Lightning got out of her seat. She went to the nearest phone and picked it up.
"Hello, the Danny Inn. How may I help you? … WHAT DO I SOUND LIKE? A BLOODY TAXI? WHO IS IT? … Legolas, didn't Vorserkeien tell you? … Oh well, I will tell you myself. … NEVER RING ME UP UNLESS IT IS A DIRE EMERGENCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOODBYE."
She slammed the phone down and stormed back into the breakfast room to finish off her breakfast.
TBC…