Disclaimer: We own nothing to do with Tomb Raider or Lara Croft, Lord of the Rings, James Bond, crummy Star Wars jokes nor anything else in this fic.
Exception: Vorserkeien, Lightning and the 'Danny Inn' were created by us. Contact us first if you wish to use them.
The Evening
Lightning was surprised how smoothly everything went. First of all there had been no mishaps with Mr. Powell and Mr. West, and second of all they seemed not to notice that Lara was at the same hotel as them. But that was all to change at dinner.
It was around 7pm when Mr. Powell and friends came into the dining hall.
"Table for … 83 please," asked Mr. West.
"Sorry, the biggest table we have is for 8. Can I split you all up?" Replied Lightning. He nodded and Lightning spent the next half-hour finding places for them all to sit.
After she had settled them all down, Lightning plonked herself down opposite Lara.
"You look tired," grinned Lara.
"You can grin, you haven't had to sit that lot down. You would have thought that people would have learnt that when I point at them, I mean them. I mean, you know, basically, I mean that man over there stood there for like 20 minutes before he realized I was talking to him. I felt like punching him really, REALLY hard!"
"I know what you mean, Lightning, but I mean, you wouldn't really want to kill Mr. West, would you?
"Actually, that isn't such a bad idea. Thanks Lara! Now, let's see, 5 revolvers, 2 pistols, 10 bows with 5000 arrows…"
"Eeeeeerrrrrrrrr… Lighty? That wasn't supposed to be a serious comment!"
While this interesting conversation was going on, Vorserkeien was having a lovely time flicking peas at Legolas.
"Hey, hey! Stop that! Why don't we start chucking these at them?" Asked Legolas, nodding towards Lightning and Lara.
"What a good idea Leggy! Bagsy me going first!" Vorserkeien catapulted a pea using the edge of her spoon. Unluckily, her target, Lightning, ducked at the last minute, and sent the pea into a customer's ear!
"Oh, my gosh. Are you all right?" Asked Lightning. "Oh my, would you like a seat, here sit next to Lara, and I will get you a menu and a wine list. Are you sure you are all right? If you want I can call a doctor…"
"Please madam, I am perfectly fine. I will not need a wine list, a Dry Martini, shaken not stirred, please. The names Bond, James Bond. May I ask what your name is?"
"Oh, eeeeerrrrrrr… Lightning. Are you REALLY James Bond? I mean, to tell you the truth, we may need your help… but I'll explain that later. I will get your drink, Mr. Booond."
"The name is Bond, not Booond, and you may call me James."
As Lightning left, James sat down opposite Lara.
"Lighty is on cloud nine with you, you know that don't you?" Said Lara.
"She is? So, what do you want me to help you with?"
"You see those men over there? They all are after a precious gem. We will explain more about that later. In any case, if they take hold of it, it could do great damage to everyone on the Earth. They have lots of men. We have two. Lightning has special powers. She can do anything with lightning, control it if you wish. She is also surrounded by invisible lightning, which protects her and gives the enemy a powerful electric shock. She would probably be the power of 3 men, maybe more. If we have you as well, we will have enough to succeed. What do you say?"
"Lets make a deal. I help you if you help me. I have to get some explosives from somewhere. I could use your help."
"Deal," but this was not Lara that said it. It was Lightning.
"You were quick," said James.
"It is a good job that I made your drink before you came to dinner," came the reply.
"But how did you know what …" a shake from Lara's head told him not to continue.
"I am so sorry, did I hurt you? Oh, and by the way, Lighty, I will go with you on this adventure. I'm off duty." It was Vorserkeien, who had come over to apologize and had started eavesdropping.
"My friend, Vorserkeien, but you may call her Vorsie. She is a secret agent that is supposed to be in outer space, but she can't feel like going back, by the way, she loves Legolas. He's that guy over with the pointy ears."
"What? You mean I have to go on a mission with an elf, a mutant …"
"WHAT DO MEAN, A MUTANT?! I AM A MODERN HUMAN BEING, UNLIKE YOU LOT!"
"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean that, well you know. Well, lets get cracking. Where do we start?"
"We will show you later. Vorsie, can you help me tidy some rooms. It will save time." The reply was interesting reply.
"Sure. Come on Leggy, let's go and tidy some rooms! Though we better have our ice creams first. See ya later Lights-In-Tights!" They ran off with Lightning's shouts ringing in their ears.
"DON'T CALL ME LIGHTS!"
* * * * * * *
Even later that evening, when Lightning was serving in the restaurant, Mr. Powell came up to James in the bar.
"Ah, you must be Mr. Bond. I have always wanted to meet you, how do you do? I am Manfred Powell, and I need your help. You see those people over there?" Said Mr Powell, flicking his hand lazily over towards Vorserkeien, Legolas and Lara, who were having a game of darts on the dartboard.
"Yes, I do. Isn't the manager here one of them as well?" Answered James.
"Yes, be careful of her. She is very powerful, I heard, and has a very bad attitude sometimes. I don't know how she can be Pisces!" He then burst into fits of snorts, which James assumed to be his laughter.
"Was that supposed to be funny, Mr. Powell? By the way what do you want me for? A special gem is it?" The snorting stopped.
"How do you know that?" Mr. Powell snapped.
"Never underestimate the power of the snort, err, the force!" Came the reply, through fits of laughter. "No, but truthfully, I am sorry, but I am busy with my own mission. I would help you if I could, and if I have any spare time I will. Goodbye." And with that he walked away, towards the restaurant.
Mr. Powell walked angrily towards his table in the bar and plonked himself down. Suddenly, there was a large sound of a fart coming from under his chair. Lifting up the cushion, he saw a whoopee cushion underneath. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Vorserkeien, Legolas and Lara running towards the restaurant in heaps of laughter.
* * * * * * *
"It was so funny! He sat down and every one just stared at him! You should have seen it, Lighty, it was so funny! Every one was staring, it was just so …"
"Yes, yes Vorsie, I am sure it was. But please shut up. You have been going on about it for the last half an hour. We have more important things to do. James, you mustn't be so light about the issue. It is dangerous. I mean I know that you know that, but don't …" Suddenly there was a loud bang. Vorserkeien stood, looking very guiltily with the TV switch in her hand.
"Vorsie, I told you that the TV had broken. Now you have made it unfixable!" Shouted Lightning.
"Any way, like I was saying, James don't try to do anything that will offend either Mr. Powell or Mr. West. If you give anything else away, he won't try to help you, and he will try to kill you. You will not survive that." Said Lightning in a very serious voice.
"We better be getting to sleep," Lara spoke from out of the blue, "We will be getting up early tomorrow."
"Good idea," replied Legolas, "Come on Vorsie, let's go." Slowly they all departed, all going off to separate rooms. Lightning spoke to one of her many deputies, making sure that they all knew how to lock up. After that, she left it in their hands.
* * * * * * *
Late in the night, Vorserkeien came into Lightning's room.
"Lighty, they are trying to steal something! I heard a noise from downstairs," whispered Vorserkeien.
"OK, hold on, I'll go down," answered Lightning. Getting dressed, she silently slipped out into the corridor.
Once she was gone, Vorserkeien called down the corridor.
"Come on Leggy, hurry up, she will be back soon!" Legolas rushed down the corridor and into Lightning's room, then leapt up onto the bed.
"Finally, a place with a good TV!" He yelled, "Yippee!" He then got up, locked the door, placed a chair against it and jumped back onto the bed.
"Shut up, she'll hear us! Come on, give us the video," said Vorserkeien. She then slipped in the video, turned on the TV and pressed the 'play' button.
About half an hour later, Lightning came upstairs, finding downstairs empty. She heard sounds coming from her room.
"Bam, bam! I am Padmé, the great, and you are my hero, Buzz err… Anakin Skywalker," said Vorserkeien in such a high-pitched voice that Lightning had to cover her ears (the light bulb in the room itself had broke a little while ago).
"Swing, swing! I am Anakin, the fabulous, brilliant, fantastic…"
"Yeah, yeah, I get the idea 'Oh Fabulous One'!"
"Brilliant, oh, hang on, I have already said that, now, lets see…"
Meanwhile, Lightning had an idea. She cut the power supply to the TV, before she called to Vorserkeien;
"Vorsie, HQ has sent you an e-mail. [AN: see the intro for this one] You better go and see what it is."
Vorserkeien and Legolas ran out of the room, downstairs to the computer. Lightning chuckled and went inside. She then picked up the phone.
"Hi, is that Lara? Do you want to come into my room to watch Star Wars? Get James to come as well!"
The two of them ran to the room and, once Lightning had got the spare TV out of the cupboard, began to watch it all over again, doing silly imitations just like Vorserkeien and Legolas had done earlier.
Much later in the night, Vorserkeien and Legolas came upstairs, realized that they had been tricked and slouched off to their room.
TBC…
Vorserkeien: OMG, this is so damaging my reputation! So please R&R!!!