A/N: Sorry about the lack of postage! I have no idea where to go with any of my stories so if you have any ideas then please please please e-mail me and tell me what you think. Label the e-mails 'Fanfiction'. None the less, while I am waiting for that I will be embarking no something new... (calm down calm down!) This is the first in the 'Lost' Stories that will be Jack&Sawyer (this fic) Boone&Sawyer ("Nitghtlights") Jack&Locke ("Love In A Time Of Science") and Kate&Shannon ("Loca Poco")(bet you weren't expecting that!) Happy reading, I hope you love, warnings of SLASH MPREG AND LOTS OF SWEARING AT EACH OUT! Chapters will be long and at times a little ooc pregnant men are hard to keep in character!

WHEN IT FALLS, IT CRAWLS... TO YOU

CHAPTER ONE - MIRROR RORRIM

"What is it that you have against me Sawyer? What the hell have I ever done to you! We have been here more than three weeks and all you can even think of doing is giving me grief! Tell me, what is it that you hate so much about me that you can't help but taunt me so damn often!" Jack yelled as Sawyer tried to turn his back on Jack, but Jack grabbed his shoulder and turned him round, barely a few inches from each other."

"Even if I told you it wouldn't make any difference. Just stay the hell away from me." He spat and again tried to turn away but Jack pulled at his shoulder again, more powerfully this time. Sawyer found his bare chest pressed against Jack's shirt and he breathed deeply for a moment, controling his rage, and fear, and every other emotion that flowed through his body. Jack stared at his intensively, waiting for an answer to his questions. "Fine." Sawyer spat, pushing himself closer and taking another deep breath.

"So, what is it then? What makes you so desparate to hummiliate me?"

Sawyer paused for a moment, a vague frown on his face. "I am... infested with you. You're all I can think about. And I know just what you think of me. I can see it all over your face right now. Did you think I was going to just stand down and let you walk all over me? Let you destroy everything that I have built for myself."

"You mean that barrier, so that no one else can get in? So no one can even begin to think about loving you without you running a million miles?"

"You know nothing about me, stop trying Doc." Sawyer replied calmly in a voice that was barely more than a feint whisper. He pulled back from Jack, ignoring his lust and anger... and even sorrow. For all that he had gained nothing and given Jack a tool to use against him. Jack reached out for Sawyer, this time grabbing his hand and mearly stopping him in his tracks. For a few seconds there was nothing but silence. "Something you wanted?" Sawyer asked scornfully, staring at the sand around his bare feet.

"Don't go." Jack whispered softly, taking a step forward and Sawyer turned to look at him questioningly. "Sit down." Sawyer made to pull away but Jack persistantly clung onto his hand. "Please. Sit."

Although it was far from his nature to do so, Sawyer dropped to the ground and settled himself back, hands supporting his weight and his legs bent, slighty apart in front of him. Jack sat down beside him, his legs too, bent and slightly apart, with the differnce that he leaned forward, encasing his legs in his arms. Sawyer fround. "This isn't going to be one of those doctor patient things where you get me to 'open up' and 'tell you what I'm feeling' is it?" Sawyer asked, more of a statement than a question but Jack chose to answer anyway.

"No. There wouldn't be any point. You wouldn't answer me. But I do have a few questions if you'll just hear me out, even for just a moment." Jack said, turning his head away from the vast sea to look at Sawyer who, again, stared questioningly back. "How long? How long have you... been 'infested'?"

Sawyer looked down his body to the sand between his legs. "The minute you stepped on that plane. At the airport, maybe. I just kept looking at you..." Sawyer froze. He had perhaps said more than he would have liked but for reasons he could not find the words spilt from his mouth. "There was something about you so... so... I don't know. When the plane went down... I looked for you..."

Jack smirked. "No you didn't, you crawled out of the wrecked and put a ciggerette in your mouth."

"Not before I saw you, saw that you were safe." Sawyer smiled. "You have no idea of the panic that hit me when you were with the pregnant girl and the wing started to fall. So paralized... If I hadn't been so..."

"Afraid?" Jack finished. Sawyer said nothing, only stared at the dying light on the horizon. Jack smiled to himself. It was just like Sawyer to throw up the defences at any implication of showing weakness. "Okay... So why push me away if you felt all these things?" Sawyer remained silent and unmoving. Jack stood up. "This is just another joke. Another something to laugh at me over. To think I almost believed you..."

Sawyer justed up, a rage filling his beyond control at Jacks words. He grabbed Jack and pulled him round, pressing his body against him, making damn sure that Jack would feel every inch of his toned and ridged body. "You want this? You want me to do all the things that I have wanted to do from the moment I set eyes on you? If it's what you want then it's yours, I'm more than happy to hand it out. Is this what you want!" Sawyer shouted but Jack laid a hand on Sawyer's face and Sawyer faultered for a moment, allowing his head to bow to Jack's touch. "Is this what you want?" He asked again, over emphasizing every word.

Jack leaned close to Sawyer, pressing their bodies close together. He pulled Sawyer's head toward his lips and wrapped an arm around Sawyer's back, pulling his in even tighter. "If you will let me in. Then I'm all yours..." He whispered. Sawyer looked shocked at Jack's offer as he pulled back to stare him in the face, as if to see if this was some bitter revenge, but there was no trace of anthing but longing in those eyes. "Come with me." Jack whispered, holding out a hand for Sawyer which he took with a shaking hand of his own. Jack pulled gently at Sawyer's arm and he followed like a puppy on a leash.

"You were right." Jack smiled as he twirled a finder round Sawyer's sweat laiden hair. "There are a lot of things that I don't know about you Sawyer. But if even half of them are a good to find out about as that, then I'll never stop trying." He peered down a Sawyer, who had a warm, glowing smile that seemed to cover his whole face and it occured to Jack just why it was that he had been so determined, despite the kick-downs, to help Sawyer. It was all just to see that rare, precious smile.