Chapter Five-Of Ruined Parties and Dancing Chocobos
Author's Note: Yup. Another long wait between updates. I apologize. I've just had the worst writer's block, like, ever. But I'm not here to make excuses. Enjoi!
----------
"Everything's done, right?" Selphie asked nervously, it was eight forty five, day of. There were fifteen minutes until the Garden Festival started. In many ways, Selphie considered it her opus.
Selphie's underlings, the Garden Festival committee nodded. Dressed impeccably, they were dismissed and began to filter out through the Quad, dancing a bit here, chatting a bit there.
Others began to come in as well. Selphie drifted among them, greeting the guests, accepting compliments.
Suddenly, there was a shriek of excitement from the other side of the Quad. "Oh, Selphie, this looks wonderful!" Rinoa cried. "How did you do all of this?"
Selphie flipped her hair arrogantly. "I know, I'm wonderful. What would you do without me?"
Rinoa laughed. "Is the stage ready for Mr. Chocobo's performance?" As Selphie nodded, Squall gulped. He did NOT want to perform. According to the plan, Squall would be shoved out on stage during the middle part of the ceremony, and be unveiled as the new Garden Mascot. He would then perform the traditional Balamb dance, which Selphie and Rinoa had painstakingly taught to him over the past few days. Squall grimaced, and planned to escape before his time came.
- - -
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I mean, uh, snack table, Quistis was in Phase Two of rant mode. Phase One was calmly explaining why the other person was an IDIOT for doing whatever had made her upset. Phase Two, the current phase, was forcing the other person to fix their mistake. Phase Two was usually the most damaging to self-esteem.
"No, you idiot!" Quistis said to Irvine, who was trying to operate the newly-bought can opener. "I bought that opener with my own money, and you're going to break it!"
"Quistis," Irvine said, flashing her Smile #35(innocent smile), and trying to charm his way out of this.
She glared. "Don't you 'Quistis' me, I'll kill you! Now open the soup can."
Again Irvine tried to open the tin can, but to no avail. The can stayed shut. "Irvine, you pansy, give me the stupid thing," Seifer commanded. Yes, he too was being held hostage by his feral girlfriend.
Seifer tried to open the can, and when it didn't work, he slammed both the can and the can opener on the table. The can got a dent in the side (5 gil discount) and the can opener fell to pieces. Quistis glared wearily at him. She sighed. "I need a drink," she said, and started walking to the bar at the other end of the Quad. Seifer kicked a few random shards of the can opener, and trailed after her.
- - -
Echoes of classical music warbled in the dark cave of the storage freezer that imprisoned Zell. He looked up from his fetal position on the floor, where he had been trying to sleep, and listened carefully. If he didn't breathe so much, he could make out conversations between students. "It must be the Garden Festival" he said to the smiley face had drawn on the wall with a frozen hot dog. It only grinned back.
"Shut up, Wilson," he said to it, and pressed his ear against the frozen wall, desperate for human contact.
- - -
"Rin, the band's almost done. Is Mr. Chocobo ready?" Selphie asked her friend.
Rinoa eagerly nodded, and looked around for Squall. "Mr. Chocobo, where are you?" she cat called in a high pitched voice. She couldn't find him! Rinoa whistled a few more times, but Squall was no where to be found. "Selphie, I can't find him!" she said, nervously.
Selphie looked around suspiciously. "Don't worry, I'll find him," she said menacingly. "I'll call in the Troops."
Squall, from his hiding place underneath a table, cowered. Who knew Selphie could be so ruthless?
- - -
Ten minutes later, every single Committee member had been torn away from their dates, and assembled in a line in front of "Squadron Leader" Selphie. Her fashionable heels now changed for combat boots beneath her dress, she paced up and down the line of her troops, briefing them on their mission. "THIS" Selphie shouted, holding up a picture, "is your target. He is a male, black chocobo, with pink-tipped feathers, pink toenails, and a pink bow on his forehead. He is to be presumed armed and dangerous. DO NOT make the mistake of thinking he is cute and cuddly. This rabid chocobo has gone AWOL and is desperately missed by his owner. IF HE IS NOT FOUND," Selphie screamed again, "YOUR LIVES ARE MINE!" Finally, she calmed down again. "Do I make myself clear?"
Her troops saluted. "Sir, yes sir!" the shouted.
Selphie sat down at the very table Squall was hiding under, and rubbed her temple with a hand, her eyes shut. "Dismissed," she muttered tiredly, "Hyne's speed, soldiers."
- - -
"Quistis," Seifer said pleadingly, "Quistis, only have three drinks, okay?"
Quistis, who in fact was on her fifth, hiccupped and nodded. "I've courshe I'll only have three, shweety," she said, her words slurred. The instructor had very low alcohol tolerance.
Seifer raised an eyebrow worriedly. "How many have you had?"
She thought a moment. "I love you, shweety," she said, smiling at Seifer. "I've only had…two," Quistis continued. Part of her blonde bun fell out of the clip holding it in, but Quistis didn't notice. "Bartender, one more!" she called. The poor bartender looked around nervously, and slid another drink down towards her.
- - -
"Hey Selphie," Irvine said, walking up to his Festival date, a winning smile (# 64) on his face.
Selphie looked up from her dinner. "Who are you?" she asked, completely confused.
Taken aback, Irvine said, "It's me, Irvine."
She shook her head. "No, it's not. You can't fool me. Irvine wears a hat." Selphie nodded triumphantly, proud of outwitting this impersonator.
The rabid fan girl who had stolen Irvine's hat walked up, wearing her trophy. "Hey, Selphie, nice job!"
Selphie blinked up at the girl. She squinted and asked, "Irvine, is that you?"
The girl blinked a few times too, and said, "No, I'm Pyrefly. Lady Pyrefly to you."
"But…you have a hat."
Lady Pyrefly nodded. "Good, Selphie. I stole it from Irvine last chapter."
Selphie was still confused. "Chapter?"
The fan girl sighed. Slamming the hat on the table, and left, muttering, "Last time I ever put myself in a story, damned characters…"
- - -
Squall had been curled up underneath the table for over an hour now. His wings were getting a horrible cramp in them. Squall looked around. Selphie, he knew, was sitting at the table. There was another pair of legs at the table, clothed in black dress pants. Very carefully, Squall stretched his right wing. Much to his dismay, the feathers reached further than Squall had anticipated, and grazed Selphie's leg.
He froze in terror.
- - -
"So, like," Irvine started to say, when Selphie felt something touch her leg. She paled, aghast, and promptly slapped Irvine across the face. She then stomped off in her black combat boots, leaving Irvine asking, "What'd I do?"
- - -
"We know you're hiding him, now WHERE IS HE?" the brainwashed Committee member demanded, pushing a male guest in a suit up against a wall.
The terrified guest looked around nervously, "I ain't seen nothin'" he said quietly.
"DON'T LIE TO ME! WHERE IS THE CHOCOBO?" the Committee soldier yelled, red in the face. A vein stood out on his forehead conspicuously.
"I'm tellin' ya, I ain't seen nothin'!" The poor guest member said, louder.
Selphie's underling glowered angrily, but let the student go. "I'll be watchin' you, punk." He then turned and walked away, as the guest smoothed his blazer down again.
- - -
Rinoa sat at her table, alone, and sighed. The library girl, too, stood alone. She wafted gently over to Rinoa in her long, white, evening gown. "Men suck, don't they?" she asked. When Rinoa looked shocked, she said, "I heard about Squall. I'm sorry he bailed on you right before your anniversary."
"Did Zell do the same?" Rinoa asked.
She shrugged. "I think so. I can't find him anywhere. By the way, my name's--
- - -
"Emily!" Zell gasped, from inside the freezer. "EMILY!" he shouted. "EMILY, I'M IN THE FREEZER!"
- - -
Emily looked around. "Did you hear something?" she asked Rinoa. Rinoa shrugged, but shook her head.
- - -
"WHERE IS THE CHOCOBO?" another, female Committee Member screamed at a table of gossiping wallflowers. The wallflowers stared up at her stoically.
"WHERE IS HE?"
When the shy girls refused to answer, the soldier overturned the table.
- - -
Quistis Trepe, community leader, and hopeless drunk at the moment, smiled at Seifer as he pleaded with her to not drink any more. "I love you, Sheifer," she said, still smiling stupidly. "Bartender, I want…" Quistis paused to think, "One of whatever thish ish."
The bartender shook his head. "I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm cutting you off."
Quistis was outraged. "I have not had enough. I'll TELL you when I've had enough!" She flung her arms wildly as she said that, and her drink flew out of her grip and landed in a lit candle on a nearby table. The high alcohol content in the drink caused the table to burst into flame, lighting several other tables on fire as well.
Seifer looked sternly at his drunken date. She grinned nervously back.
- - -
"This entire party is ruined!" Selphie whined. The burning tables had to be put out with more-than-healthy doses of water magic, so the entire floor of the quad was covered in three inches of water. All the guests had vanished after the electricity had gone out. "Besides," as one guest had put it, "There wasn't any food."
The band hired for the night began to pack up their instruments. "Hey!" Selphie yelled. "I paid you for an entire night, now PLAY, dammit!" The players gulped, looked around nervously, and started up a classy waltz tune.
"C'mon, Sefie," Irvine soothed, "It's okay…"
Rinoa began to sniffle, the tune playing was the Waltz to the Moon. Squall, from his hiding place underneath the table, heard her sniffles and felt horrible for "leaving" right before their anniversary.
He slowly emerged from hiding and placed his beak on the table next to Rinoa. "Wark?" he asked delicately. Rinoa raised her face from her arms and looked at her pet.
"Oh, Mr. Chocobo, I love you, but I wish you were Squall."
Squall nodded. "Wark," he agreed. An idea struck him in the head like enemy fire. Squall clamped his large choco-beak onto the hem of Rinoa's dress and dragged her onto the water covered dance floor.
"Mr. Chocobo, what are you doing?" she demanded testily. Squall took Rinoa's hands in his wings, which lacked opposable thumbs, and began leading her around the dance floor. At the end of the song, as if on cue, a beautiful shooting star flew across the night sky.
However, the moment was ruined by seven crazed Garden Festival Committee members tackling the poor chocobo.
- - -
As the echoes of music died out in Zell's freezer, and he sighed dreamily. "Wilson," he said to the face on the wall, "That party sounded perfect." When Zell tried to move to go to sleep, he realized his ear was frozen to the wall.
Author's Note: -mad cackle- I made fun of Castaway! -sigh- I can die happy now. And, I'm sorry, I never intended for this to be a romance story, but I just HAD to put a bit of teenage angst in. In my opinion, angst is what makes fanfiction function. ANYWAY, I hope you all liked this, because I did.