I only want to be accepted

by DarkRaven-04

All she wants is to be accepted. Her family hate her. at school shes a mudblood. Can she see acceptance in the dark? read and review

3. chapter 3: finding something you once th...

I only want to be excepted

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and OC'S

A.N I would like to thank jameslvr and pineapple cube for your reviews!

chapter 3: finding something you once thought was lost.

Bill was the last though the fire place with Hermione in his arms. The Order, Harry, Ron and Ginny had been informed that the girl in the fire was Hermione and she had been attacked. He wanted to get Hermione down so she could rest and recover from what she's been through but couldn't because Mrs Weasley, Harry, Ron and Ginny came charging up to him bombarding him with questions, they were frantic with worry.

'What happened?'

'Why is she unconscious?'

'Who did this to her?'

'Why has she got all those bruises?'

They were circling Bill trying to get her to wake up. He really wanted to get out the kitchen and lay her down. She wasn't heavy but he wanted to make sure that she was ok. She had been though a lot and he couldn't get past the kitchen. He tried to move past them but they still continued with their questioning.

'Why isn't she awake?'

'We want to see her!'

'Who did this?'

'Where are you taking her?'

'GUYS!'

This was Dumbledore. He too was worried about her and wanted to make sure that she didn't have any serious injuries. He moved his arm and made a gap in the crowd and motioned Bill through them. They were still trying to get a look at her under all the cuts and bruises on her face.

Bill looked down at the sleeping figure in his arms. She began to stir, screwing up her face and groaning. He assumed that she was in pain and moved through the kitchen door into the front room. Hermione's eyes fluttered open, her body numb with pain. She looked up to see Bill carrying her. Her mind was racing.

'Bill?'

'Shh it's ok.'

Bill laid her down on one of the many couches and sat down next to her. Dumbledore came in and kneeled on the floor next to her. Then her mind was racing again with all the memories of what happened to her that day. She was frantic.

'Where am I? Where's Jason and Dan? Did I get out?'

'Shh it's ok your safe now, we got you. They're not here. They can't hurt you. You're safe.'

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was she finally away from them? Jason and Dan can't hurt her any more? Away from her family? Was she free? Her body hurt so much but she couldn't concentrate on that, she had to know for sure if she was free or not?

'I-I-I'm safe? Where am I? Who took me out?'

'Yes Hermione you're safe now, you're at the headquarters. And I took you out with Dumbledore, Charlie, Remus, Mad eye and Snape.'

It's true she was free. She had tears of happiness in her eyes. She looked up at the person who saved her. She couldn't believe it. She shot up and hugged him. She didn't care about the pain in her chest. She was so relieved that she was out. She cried into his shoulder.

'Thank you. Thank you so much Bill. You don't know how much this means to me.'

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. He couldn't believe that his little brother's best friend had been going through any of this.

She always seemed so strong and didn't have a care in the world. Oblivious to her problems at home.

She pulled away because of the shooting pain that went across her ribs. She fell back to the sofa clutching her side in agony. She let out a frustrated cry. She lifted her top up and a purple bruise had formed over her lower ribs and stomach. Bill flinched at the sight of it.

Dumbledore was calm but in his mind he was applaud that his best student was ever treated in such a way. Nobody ever should be treated like that especially by there family. He lifted himself from his knees and swapped places with Bill so he could have better access to her injuries.

'Miss Granger, you had a lucky escape. I would hate to think what might have happened if we didn't get there. I'll start from the top ok?'

She nodded and closed her eyes. She heard Dumbledore mutter a few healing spells. She instantly felt the swelling and bruises go from her face and neck. He lifted her shirt and healed her middle. He couldn't go any further but told her he would get madam Pumfrey to heal those. She was wearing a pair of shorts which made it easier to heal the cuts on her legs but again didn't go to far up. Once he was finished she felt so much better. There was still pain in between her legs and on her breasts but that would be taken care of later.

'Thank you sir, for everything you've done.'

'It's not a problem Miss Granger. As long as you are ok, that's all that matters. These charms won't last long, but when madam Pumfrey gets here she'll know of a more permanent solution.'

She gave Dumbledore a hug and a kiss on the cheek to thank him. She turned to Bill.

'I really don't know how to thank either of you.'

She gave Bill and hug and a kiss also.

'Hermione, it was absolutely disgusting to see you in such a state when we arrived. Why don't you tell us what happened so we can get them punished for what they have done to you?'

Hermione couldn't tell them. If she did then they would tell the ministry and the ministry would take her in for tests and arrest them. She would then have to face them in court with her family. She was already hated by them and wasn't going to give them more of a reason to hate her.

'I-I-I can't.'

Bill and Dumbledore looked at each other shocked and confused.

'What do you mean you can't? Hermione look at what they did to you? Do you want them to get away with that?'

'You don't understand. If I 'grass' on them then I will have the rest of my family sending abuse to me and never speaking to me. They would get away with it anyway. They always do. There's nothing you can do and they know it.'

'Miss Granger laws are different in this world. Your family should never have treated you like that and in this world there is harsher punishments for abusers, nothing like those in the Muggle world.'

'They hate magic and they hate me. This is what they want me to do, this way they can get closer to me and-and.'

She couldn't finish what she was saying but they knew what she meant. They weren't going to pressure her to tell them any more. She would tell them when she was ready.

'It's ok Hermione, don't worry. You know where we are if you want to talk or have any action taking against them ok?'

She nodded and Bill put his arm around her and kissed her on the forehead.

'Miss Granger perhaps it would be best if you went straight to bed. You've had a long day.'

'No it's ok. I know Harry and Ron are probably worried. I better go and see them.'

The three of them got up and left the room. Hermione followed Bill and Dumbledore down the corridor and into the kitchen. Once the door opened there was silence. Hermione walked past Dumbledore and Bill and stood in the door way. Everybody was there. Most of the order, Harry, Ron and Ginny. They all stared at her waiting for her to say something, but she just sat in the nearest chair at the table.

This snapped most of them out of the trance and Harry and Ron came rushing over to her. The Order just looked at her with saddened eyes. The ones that were at the house at obviously told the Order (not Harry Ron and Ginny) what they saw and what she said about being beaten up and raped.

It wasn't very common in the magic world for this type of abuse to happen and when it did it situation was dealt with straight away and harshly. The fact that she was an underage witch as well made things 10 times worse. The Order knew who she was and the fact she was the most talented witch Hogwarts had seen in years, but were still appalled that this young girl ever went through such a thing. They didn't know how long this had been going on, or if it was the first time it had happened and why she never told any one about her home life.

They thought that she would probably be ashamed to tell anyone or that others wouldn't believe her.

''Mione you ok?'

'What happened 'Mione?'

'How did you get those bruises?'

'Who did this to you 'Mione?'

'How are you feeling?'

'Does it hurt?'

'What did they do 'Mione?'

'Did you know them 'Mione?'

Hermione couldn't take it all in. All these questions and her mind couldn't process it all. They just kept coming and coming and she couldn't get a word in edge ways. She wished they would stop calling her 'Mione. She hated that name and now it reminded her of Danny and what he did to her. She knew people were watching her as well.Making her feel really uncomfortable and isolated. She wanted to get away from here as well, just to be on her own for a while.

'I-I-I, well you...Erm, yeah, no umm.'

Dumbledore could see how much she was struggling with the two boys. It wasn't fair on her to be bombarded with these questions in front of everyone.

'Boys why don't you leave your questions for when miss Granger is feeling a bit more up for it? She's been through a lot today and doesn't need you two hounding her. Why don't you leave her be?'

Hermione was grateful that Dumbledore stepped in and told them to shut up, they were driving her crazy. Mrs Weasley put a steaming hot cup on tea in front of her and she smiled at her. Mrs Weasley replied with a sympathetic smile and continued to listen to the boys who were now arguing with Dumbledore.

'We just want to make sure 'Mione's ok. You bring her in all battered and bruised and expect us not to be worried or want to know what happened?'

'She's fine, you can see that. Just give her some space-'

''Mione? What happened? Come on tell us. Why won't she speak to us?'

Hermione had a splitting headache and all they were doing was shout. She put her head in her hands and ran her figures through her hair. She wanted them to shut up calling her 'Mione. It was driving her mad.

'Boys please she's been through a lot to day, leave her be.'

'We want to no what happened to 'Mione! Who did this to her!'

This was the final straw for her.

'ENOUGH ALREADY!'

The whole room went silent. Hermione was on her feet leaning on her hands and on the table for support. All eyes were on her. Harry and Ron looked at her shocked.

'You ok 'Mione?'

She spun around to face Ron.

'STOP CALLING ME 'MIONE! I'M FINE OK? JUST-JUST STOP SHOUTING!'

Harry and Ron looked to the floor ashamed. They didn't mean to upset her.

'We're sorry 'Mione, didn't mean to upset you.'

'DON'T CALL ME 'MIONE! IT JUST REMINDS ME OF HIM. EVERY TIME HE TOUCHED ME OR SCREAMED OR MOANED MY NAME. JUST DON'T CALL ME THAT!'

She couldn't be in a room with all these people staring at her. She was fighting back the tears. She had to be on her own, to think about what had happened. She looked around and saw that the expression on everyone's face was either shock, confusion or worry.

She looked at the boys who couldn't meet her eyes. The first of the tears fell and she ran. She just ran out the room, leaving everyone behind her and slammed the door closed.

Everybody looked around at each other, all thinking the same thing, who was He? The Order knew she was raped so didn't press on it. Harry and Ron however didn't.

'Who's He? What happened to her?'

Hermione ran out the kitchen and up the stairs. She didn't care who heard her, and she didn't really know where she was going to go.

They would find her in any of the bedrooms or social rooms. She decided to go to the attic, she could be alone there, and nobody would think to look there.

She walked up another flight of stairs until she came to a door. This door hadn't been used in a while so it would probably creak. She didn't care, she wasn't afraid of the dark or any creatures, you couldn't when you were a witch.

She opened the door and she was right it did creak. There wasn't a lot of light so she muttered

'Lumos.'

Light shone out of her wand and fell on a very large creature. She shrieked and jumped back. She pointed her wand at it and let out a sigh of relief, it was only Buckbeak. She bowed and waited for him to respond. Which he did instantly.

She wasn't really in the mood to pet him so she settled herself against the wall and hugged her knees. She could feel some of the bruises coming back. Tears streamed down her face and she buried her head in her knees. Buckbeak walked over to her a nuzzled her hand, licking it. With his nose he nudged her hand and bent down so she could pet him. She looked up and granted him what he wanted and pet him. He was so thin and looked like he hadn't eaten in weeks. Buckbeak sat down beside her. She continued to stroke him and let out a sigh.

'I bet you miss Sirius huh?'

'Yeah I thought so. Me too. I bet nobodies been to see you either have they?'

He made little purring noises in response.

'I bet it gets awfully lonely up here all on your own. I know how you feel being trapped and not being free. I just escaped on place where I was trapped but I feel here. I'm trapped as well with people fussing over me.'

Then her head snapped up and she looked in to the far corner of the room. She could swear she saw something move. Something did move, she heard it. she was sure of it. She got up from where she was sitting and slowly made her way over to the corner.

He had been alone for weeks now, he didn't dare risk going down stairs to the headquarters, not with the whole Order there. He was scared to face them all. After what he'd seen and been through he wasn't sure if he wanted to be part of it again. Did he really want to know what was going on down stairs so he could sit back and do nothing? No, it's better he didn't know. Then his hideaway was disturbed.

He heard the attic door open and a young girl enter.

He watched as she gave the room some light and bowed to Buckbeak. He couldn't risk being seen so he moved into the far corner. He watched as this young girl cried. She seemed so familiar to him but couldn't make out who it was. It was far to dark. He shifted his body so he could get a better look at her, try and figure out who it was, he moved his leg but knocked over a box. He preyed that she wouldn't have noticed. No such luck. She looked directly at his hiding place. Their eyes met for a split second. He could see now that she had some bruises over her face and neck.

His heart began to race as this young girl got up and started to approach his hiding place. There was nowhere he could go, so he had to stay put and prey he wouldn't be found.

She was about two foot away from him now and he could see her clearly, still couldn't figure out who she was though. She raised her wand and pointed it directly at him.

'Sirius?'

He knew that voice, it was his god son's best friend.

''Mione?

He saw that she flinched at her old nick name. He wondered what had happened to her to become in such a state. Who had done this to her?

Hermione couldn't believe what she was seeing.

This wasn't Sirius.

He was supposed to be dead. Not hiding out in the attic. Why was he hiding anyway? Why hadn't he come down stair?

She extended her hand to help him up. He excepted it. There was a silence as the two stared at each other. Then as if they both knew what the other was thinking the hugged. It was a well needed hug for the both of them. However it didn't last long, Hermione pulled back in pain. They both said together

'What happened?'

They laughed at each other and went to sit where Hermione once was.

'So are you going to tell me who did this to you?'

'Are you going to tell me why you are hiding up here and not down stairs or dead?'

'Do you want me dead?'

'Are you going to answer me?'

'Are you going to answer me?'

They both looked at each other and burst out laughing. They were being so stupid. Sirius was the first to recover.

'How about you tell me what happened to you, and then I'll tell you what happened to me?'

'Ok. Well I don't really know how to say this really. I've never told anyone this before.'

'It's ok. I'm not going to say anything.'

'Ok, like you I dont get on with my family. And that's the biggest understatement of the year. But anyway ever since I was little I've hated my family. All of them. They're screwed up bad and I'm part of it. I mean I'm nothing like them, I'm totally different and I've known that since I was like 9 years old. I mean I'm the only witch in the family and that made me an outcast. I don't smoke weed or do drugs and I haven't got a criminal record. And in there eyes that makes me some kind of a freak. I suppose it all really started when I found out about my brothers and sisters.'

'I thought you were an only child?'

'I am in a way, but not at the same time. I've got two brothers and two sisters who are older than me and we share the same dad.'

'So that makes them your 1/2 brothers and sisters?'

'Right, But this is the strange bit. Our mothers are sisters.'

'Okay. So your cousins as well?'

'Yeah. We've always treated each other like cousins, never like brother and sisters. It's too complicated.'

'Ok, but it still don't explain how you got like this.'

'Well, Jason - one of my brother/cousins - came over today and started having a go at his sister, another of the cousin/siblings. Anyway they woke me up with there arguing so I went down stairs trying to calm them down. I gave my opinion as well. Jason didn't like that see so he slapped me around a bit.'

'A bit? 'Mione he didn't slap you around a bit.'

'I know that was someone else - my cousin.'

'Cousin cousin?'

'Yeah Danny. Jason must have called him while I was upstairs upset. Me and Dan never really got on, he hated the fact I was different to the rest of the family and always hated me because I'm a witch. They all do. But he came into my room and-and.'

She couldn't bring herself to say it. She hugged her knees and cried. Sirius put his arm around her and made Shh noises.

'He raped you.'

She nodded at him and he stroked her hair.

'No one deserves to be treated like that 'Mione.'

'Th-that's what I thought. So I packed all my things and went down stairs ready to floo here. But before I left Jason grabbed me and slapped me. I guess that the Order must have seen that because the next thing I knew I had Dumbledore, Charlie, Bill, Mad eye, Lupin and Snape in my living room. Well eventually they got me out and now I'm here. I was in the kitchen but Harry and Ron kept questioning me and I didn't feel like telling them. They kept calling me 'Mione. I hate that name, Dan called me it all the way through, well you know. And now every time someone says it, it reminds me of him and what he did.'

'I'm sorry. How long has it been going on?'

'I've never usually been directly involved, but with my family? Since I was born. I've witnessed brothers smashing each other over the head with ash trays. Mothers beating their kids within inches of their lives because she was drunk. I've visited uncles and cousins in prison for bank robbery, drug dealing, ABH, GBH, rape. I've been told stories of my aunt being raped by the man next door when she was 6 by one of my mum's cousins. I saw my dad threaten my mum and aunt with a gun. God and so much more. There's so much I've seen in this family and all I want to do is get away.'

'You're away now Hermione ok. They can't hurt you any more. If you don't mind me asking where was your mum and dad? Don't they care?'

'No, they were out and have gone away for a week. No they won't care. My dad hates me. I'm nothing to him but a disgrace. He's never treated me like a daughter and I've never ever called him dad. My mum will go along with the rest of the family. If they say I'm nothing then she'll agree. I-I-Just wanted to be excepted into a family. But in my family and in the Muggle world I'm a freak and here in the Magical world im lower than dirt, I'm a Mudblood.'

'Hermione don't you ever say that. Your family don't understand you, they are frightened of anything new. They're probably frightened of their own shadow. Don't worry about them because they aren't worth it. I was never excepted either because I didn't want to go over to the dark side so I know how you feel, kind of. And Hermione? I've never seen a more talented witch before. You run rings around most of the purebloods in this world. Not including me of course! I'm kidding, but seriously, we all love you and never want to see you hurt.'

Hermione gave Sirius a hug and muttered thank you. She wiped away a few tears.

'So come on, how come you aren't dead?'

'O thanks!'

'You know what I mean. How come you know? What happened?'

'Well ok you were at the ministry that day so you know I fell through the veil. Well people who fall through it are supposed to die straight away. It's like a portal to the world of the dead. So when I fell through I figured I was dead right?'

'Right.'

'So when I was there all I could see was this little white light in the corner of the room. Something was drawing me to it. But something else was telling me not to go. So I didn't, I stayed where I was.'

'Then what happened?'

'Well I'm not sure. There was this voice, female, sounded like a song. She told me that my time hadn't come yet and I still had work to do. I was well confused. I didn't know where this voice was coming from. It then told me that I had to go back and 'fulfil my destiny to the phoneix. I tried to ask her what it meant but that little light in the corner got bigger and bigger until it surrounded me and I passed out. The next thing I remember is waking up with Buckbeak licking me. I knew I was at the headquarters. I was very tempted to go down their and announce my presence.'

'Why didn't you?'

'Because something told me if I went down their, nothing would have changed. I would have still have been Sirius Black escape con on the run. I would have been locked up all day, knowing that everyone around me was out doing special missions for the Order while I sat on my backside doing shit. I didn't want to know what was going on because it would get me so annoyed.'

'Sirius, your name has been cleared. Your are not an escape con anymore. They know it was Peter and that he's alive. You should go down there. Harry would love to see you.'

'I'm scared to see him. It must have crushed him to loose someone he loved again. So if I got back into his life and I did die again he would have to feel all that pain again. I don't want to put him through that again.'

'Sirius, that's not your decision to make. You'll hurt him more if he finds out you were alive and didn't come to see him. He missed you a lot and wants to be with you.'

'Really? Your right you know.'

'So are you coming down stairs?'

'O I don't know about that Hermione.'

'What's keeping you up here? Your name has been cleared so you would be stuck in this house anymore and Harry needs you. You can't deny him that.'

'You really are the smartest witch of your age you know that?'

Hermione smiled at him and he gave her another hug.

'So you're coming down then?'

'Like I have much choice any way.'

They got up and made their way down the stairs.

'I can't wait to see their faces you know.'

'Me either. Their going to be so surprised. They reached the bottom of the stair case and turned to go into the kitchen.

'Nervous?'

'God yeah.'

'I hate to say this but the whole Order is there ok?'

'Well I would have to face them sooner or later.'

'Come on,'

Hermione reached for his hand and pushed the kitchen door open.

Everybody looked up to see who had come in and saw Hermione standing there. They couldn't see Sirius, he was standing in the shadows.

'Look who I found.'

She pulled Sirius in the door way with her and the whole room gasped.

Silence.

You could hear a pin drop in the kitchen. Sirius stood there looking around at the shocked faces. Most of them had their mouths hanging open. The only people who looked remotely different was Hermione because she had a great big grin on her face and Dumbledore who was his normal clam self. Even Snape was shocked to see him.

'Hi everyone.'

The twins who were putting plates away dropped a plate and a cup. Nobody even flinched, they just continued to stare at the dead man in the door way. Remus was the first to recover.

'H-h-ho-how? Your supposed to be dead!'

'Yeah so people keep telling me! I think I'll go die and satisfy everyone.'

'Sirius don't be stupid. People are just in shock. We all thought you were dead and now you are standing in the kitchen. Bold as brass, how do you expect people to react. Why don't you tell us what happened?'

He turned to Dumbledore who had a calm but curious look on his face. Why was Dumbledore always so calm? He always knew what was going on.

'Well like I said to Hermione upstairs, I'm not really sure what happened. One minute I fell through the veil in the ministry and the next thing I'm in the attic upstairs. The only thing I remember in between was a women's voice telling me it wasn't my time to go and I still had to fulfil my duty to the phoneix. The next thing I know I'm surrounded by a white light and I wake up in the attic.'

'Tell me. How long have you been up there?'

'Erm about 3 weeks I think.'

' 3 WEEKS!'

Everybody turned to face Harry.

'You've been up there 3 weeks and didn't think to come down and say hi, by the way I'm alive don't worry?'

'No Harry it's not like that-'

'Then how is it? Didn't you think people would be mourning over you? Don't you think people missed you and needed to be with you? DON'T YOU THINK I WANTED TO SEE YOU! I BLAMED MYSELF FOR WHAT HAPPENED!'

'Harry look, calm down let me explain.'

'O this has got to be good.'

'HARRY JAMES POTTER!'

Everybody now was staring at Hermione.

'Don't you dare judge him until you've heard the full story. How can you be so selfish and think about your self? It's been hard on him as well you know. Don't you think he wanted to come down here and tell you that he's sorry but he's here now? He was scared of hurting you again Harry. He didn't want to put you through the pain of loosing him again. He thought it was for the best, he did it for you. He didn't want to sit back and do nothing either. It was hard for him last year to watch everyone else do things for the Order and he couldn't. But now he knows you need him and that he's name is cleared he's come down here. Don't you dare be so selfish and shout at him.'

Hermione was breathless, her face was red and full of anger and everybody was looking at her shocked. Sirius however was impressed.

'Thanks Hermione.'

'Well Harry don't you have something to say?'

'Erm, sorry I didn't mean to shout. I'm glad you back.'

'Hey no problem godson. Don't just stand there, show me your glad I'm back.'

Harry smiled and hugged him. He missed him so much over the last few weeks and now he was back. The whole room got up shacking Sirius's hand and saying how glad they were that he was back. The only person who wasn't joining in was Hermione. She leaned against the door frame and watched. She watched him hug Tonks.

He too noticed that she wasn't there and searched for her while hugging Tonks. He saw her leaning against the door. He caught her eye and mouthed 'thank you.' She smiled at him and he went back to hugging everyone.

A.N ok chapter 3 like you asked for! i hope its ok and wasn't to much for one chapter. Tell me what you think. I wasn't to sure about bringing Sirius back but i thought why not? i'ts my story and i think it works.

dark raven

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