Disclaimer: see part 1.

Steel Rose

Part 10

By Random1377

Slowly stirring her coffee, Kitsune sat alone at the kitchen table, thankful that the Hinata was quiet for a change since it gave her throbbing head a chance to settle a bit. Arranged in front of her were the essentials for recovering from a hangover – the aforementioned coffee, a bottle of aspirin, some toast, and a bottle of sake, in case she decided for a little hair of the dog that bit her.

What day is it…?

It didn't matter, she supposed, not at that hour anyway.

She'd find out before it was time to be at work, so for the time being, it would be best to clear up the pain in her head in case she was confronted with any unpleasant conversations.

"Oh, good morning Kitsune."

Gah, too late…

"Good morning, Shinobu."

Kitsune eyed the younger girl over the rim of her mug, watching her flit around the room like a hummingbird on speed.

"Well someone's in a damn good mood," she muttered, trying not to be irritated as Shinobu began to make breakfast, singing to herself under her breath. "Guess your date last night was a success, then."

"Uh huh," Shinobu said brightly, looking as if she was bursting at the seams to fill the older girl in on the affair. "It was almost perfect."

"Almost?"

Shinobu blushed.

"He didn't kiss me…"

Well, Kitsune thought, I've ALMOST kissed him… twice. Does that count?

To Shinobu, she said, "You should have just kissed him. Don't wait for him to make a move."

"I wanted to," Shinobu confessed, "but then Motoko's mother was here, and they were talking, and I couldn't."

Kitsune's stomach did an odd flip-flop.

"You were… really going to kiss him?"

Nodding, Shinobu repeated, "I wanted to. I really, really wanted to."

If they hadn't been there to stop you…

Kitsune sipped her coffee, grimacing at its bitterness. "You could always just… walk up and kiss him, I guess."

Stop that, Kitsune thought, putting a hand on her stomach as Shinobu considered this advice. Settle down, stupid stomach – I'll get some food in you in a second…

Only, it wasn't hunger causing her discomfort.

And she knew it.

"I couldn't do that," Shinobu said finally. "It's… it would have to be on a date, or it wouldn't feel right."

"Oh come on," Kitsune said, trying to sound cool, "I do it all the time."

For the first time Kitsune could remember, Shinobu looked disapproving. "I know," she said quietly, quickly looking away as she added, "but I'm not like you."

Ouch, Kitsune winced. Guess I left myself open for that one, but still… ouch.

"Well," she said evenly, "I'm sure you'll get the nerve some day."

"Tomorrow."

"Hmm?"

"I asked him out tomorrow," Shinobu clarified. "I'll… I'm going to do it tomorrow."

Rising to her feet, Kitsune gulped down her coffee, spilling a bit on the table as she suddenly realized that she wasn't hungry enough to eat in the same room with this self-righteous little girl. "Yeah, good luck on that."

"Is… something wrong, Kitsune-sempai?" Shinobu asked hesitantly. "You look a little pale."

"Nothing," Kitsune said flatly, carrying her plate to the garbage and dumping the toast into it with a perfunctory flick of her wrist. "…nothing at all."

Ignoring Shinobu's questioning glance, Kitsune left the kitchen, making sure to grab the bottle of sake on her way out the door. Had she already been drinking, the sharp, borderline cruel question that had swum up in her mind might have found its way past her lips.

You're lucky I'm sober, Shinobu…

( 0 0 0 )

Motoko wiped the last traces of spilt coffee off of the kitchen table and nodded to herself with satisfaction. It was remarkably warm outside, so the windows had been opened a bit, letting in a pleasant, if slightly bracing breeze drift through the Hinata Sou. And Motoko… Motoko felt good.

The odd thing was, she knew she shouldn't.

By all rights, she should have felt confused and ashamed. She had, after all, kissed Keitaro the night before, and then let him know – rather boldly – that his passionate reciprocation was not only acceptable, but welcomed.

Well, she thought in her own defense, we WERE engaged…

Granted, that had been dissolved, and they had moved in opposite directions ever since, but hadn't she asked him if it would a bad thing for them to stay married? What had changed between then and now – other than conscious suppression and denial of her own feelings?

"Nothing, really," she whispered, dropping the dishrag in the laundry, "except the realization that it could never work out."

But… could it now?

Naru's pulled away, Motoko thought suddenly, coming to an abrupt halt in the middle of the kitchen. Kitsune SAYS she doesn't feel anything for him, but clearly either does not know WHAT she feels, or has no idea how to express herself. Shinobu is, quite honestly, too young to truly vie for his affections, which leaves… me.

Motoko frowned quite deeply as she came to two simultaneous realizations – first, that in spite of her dismissal of the girl, she still considered Shinobu a threat… and second, that she had just declared, even if only in her mind, that she was vying for Keitaro's affections. It also came to her with a rather sharp jolt that Keitaro had never replied when she had asked him how he felt about staying married to her.

It's just like Naru said, she thought, starting towards the living room, everyone here loves him… and that includes me, I can't deny that. But what I cannot say with any certainty is how deep-

"Motoko," a lazy, mellifluous voice interrupted her thoughts, "I knocked, but no one came, so I just let myself in."

Blinking, Motoko found herself face to face with the x factor – the one person she had failed to take into account in the merry-go-round of affections, passions, and twisted up emotions.

"Mutsumi?"

"Hiiiii…"

The brown-haired girl's greeting turned into a breathless sigh as she pitched forward, slumping gracelessly into Motoko's arm, completely unconscious.

He…avy…

Motoko spread her feet, finding a firmer center of gravity to keep herself from tipping over as she hustled the other girl over to the couch and laid her down. "Keitaro," she called, checking Mutsumi's wrist for a pulse – just in case.

"…company."

( 0 0 0 )

"It's so good to see you all."

Keitaro nodded along with everyone else as Mutsumi continued to gush.

"It feels like I haven't been here for months," she was saying, "but it hasn't been that long, has it?"

"Actually," Naru mumbled, scratching the side of her nose, "it has."

"Has it?"

"Yeah."

"Oh my…!" Mutsumi exclaimed, rising to a sitting position and taking the cold compress Shinobu had gotten for her off of her forehead. "Has it really?"

"Yeah," Naru repeated, "two months – to the day."

Giving Naru a sunny, if a bit dizzy smile, Mutsumi said, "But I thought you guys called me to go see a movie… or was it a musical…? Hmm…"

"It was a play," Motoko said calmly, "and you were too busy. But before that it had still been a few weeks since you came by."

"Oh," Mutsumi hummed. "Is that so? Hm. Ah well."

"Tama missed you," Su announced, holding the turtle up for Mutsumi to see. "I promised I wouldn't make him into soup until he got to say goodbye."

"Ugh," Motoko mumbled, averting her eyes as Mutsumi smiled and gave the turtle a pat on the head. "You're too considerate. If it was up to me, I'd say just cook the thing and get it over with."

"Tonight," Su declared, holding Tama over her head like a tribal warrior with a small sacrifice, "for husband's dinner!"

Keitaro grinned sickly as everyone turned to him. "It's… heh, it's just a little game we're playing."

"You'd better not be playing any other games," Naru threatened darkly, suggestively pounding her fist into her palm as she glared at Keitaro. "Because if I find out it's really 'doctor,' then…"

"…you'll have more than Naru to answer to," Motoko concluded, stroking the hilt of her blade with the ball of her thumb.

"My, my," Mutsumi sighed as Keitaro held his hands up in defense, "it's always so lively here."

Clearing her throat, Shinobu took a discrete step closer to Keitaro. "Will you be staying a while?" she asked, clearly anxious to get the focus off of what Keitaro may or may not be playing with Su.

"Ohh, may I?"

Before Keitaro could reply, Kitsune appeared in the doorway, surveying the room with a critical eye before locking onto the unlucky manager and slinking over to him. "She can sleep in my room," she offered, draping herself against Keitaro's side and throwing an arm around his shoulders. "I wouldn't mind the company… as long as she doesn't mind hanging out with me and KeiKei while we study."

"S-study?" Keitaro echoed, shifting nervously as Kitsune's thin tank top threatened to slip lower than it already had. "Study what?"

"Don't you remember?" Kitsune said innocently. "You offered to tutor me so I could get into Toudai with you all."

Yeah, Keitaro thought, I remember you talking about it the other day, but I thought you were kidding… mostly because you also talked about painting the Hinata bright pink and having your name changed to Lola.

He was trying to vocalize this thought, but with Kitsune's breasts pressing against his arm with an almost audible 'squish' he found it rather difficult to speak.

"Oo!" Mutsumi said happily. "That sounds like fun – and I can help! I was accepted too, remember? It'll be the three of us, like it was when it was me and Naru and Kei-kun!"

With this declaration, she rose to her feet… and promptly passed out again, the sudden movement clearly affecting her low blood pressure and sending her back into unconsciousness. Motoko, being the closest, caught her before her head could hit the coffee table, exchanging an exasperated look with Naru, who simply shrugged and mouthed, 'figures.'

Keitaro may have noticed this had his mind not been focused on two other things – and the fact that the owner of the two things in question was looking up at him with an unreadable expression on her face.

"What?" he whispered, frowning at the serious light in the gray-haired girl's narrow eyes. "What is it?"

Finally pulling away, Kitsune whispered back, "Later… I'll tell you later. I've gotta get ready for work."

Detaching herself from his side, she slipped out of the room, using Mutsumi's collapse like a ninja smokescreen and disappearing as if she had never been there in the first place.

( 0 0 0 )

Kitsune leaned up against Shinobu's wall, watching the younger girl getting ready for her date with Keitaro. Her work vest was still on, since she had been asked to work an early shift that day, but in her hurry to take her mind off of her mounting personal issues, she had spilled a bit of sake on it. She had been on her way to the laundry room to put it in the washer when she had passed Shinobu's door and decided to step in and give some last minute coaching on the upcoming 'doomsday' date, as she had started to think of it.

What else could it be called when a fourteen year old declares that she WILL be making out with her man, no matter what?

And who says he's yours, anyway? Kitsune thought dully, staring down at the floor as Shinobu told her all about the movie she was planning to see. He doesn't want you – anyone can see it just from the way he acts around you. What happens next, little girl? she wondered. First it's a kiss, and then…

The thought, that awful thought that had threatened to come out the day before when she was having coffee resurfaced in Kitsune's mind… and in the state she was in, the 'this is a bad idea' thought process in her mind was not working properly, leaving the unsuspecting Shinobu wide open for what was to come.

"So," Kitsune said suddenly, cutting into the younger girl's description of the movie's plot, "after the show… you gonna go to a hotel?"

"Mm?" Shinobu hummed, fixing her hair in the mirror. "Why would I? I have a room he-"

She cut herself off, nearly pulling out a clump of hair as she realized what Kitsune was really asking.

But Kitsune, who was not in the mood to be subtle, pushed away from the wall and walked over to Shinobu's dressing table, leaning over the younger girl's shoulder. "So, are you?" she asked. "You know, make out a little, drink a little, and then…"

Shinobu's face went bright red as Kitsune lowered her voice and finished her thought. "N-no," the younger girl stammered. "Nothing like that…!"

"Oh," Kitsune mused, "then are you going to…"

It was almost comical to watch the girl's face go from red to white as fast as it did as the foxgirl provided a rather graphic alternative to her original suggestion.

"No!" Shinobu cried. "I just… I want to be close to him, but that's… I don't want to do that kind of stuff…!"

"But isn't that… kind of selfish?" Kitsune asked carefully. "What did you think would happen, Shinobu? A little kissing? A little… touching, and that's it…?" she lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Do you think it's fair to ask Keitaro to wait for three years for you to be old enough to have an 'adult' relationship? He's twenty-two, Shinobu… twenty-two years old. Will your conscience be clear asking him to stand by and live in perpetual frustration for that long without being willing to at least get down on your kn-"

"S-stop!" Shinobu gasped, covering her ears. "Don't… don't be dirty like that!"

Gently but firmly pulling the girl's hands away from her ears, Kitsune murmured, "Love isn't clean, Shinobu. You want my advice? My real, honest to God, woman-to-woman advice? Stop trying so damn hard to be a grown up, because you're not ready for it. Unless you're willing to take off your clothes and give him everything-"

"Stop it!"

"-then you aren't ready to-"

"STOP IT!"

"-be a woman yet!"

"STOP IT!"

Shinobu shoved Kitsune away, burying her face in her palms as she exploded into tears.

"Listen," Kitsune said softly, feeling like a total scumbag as she put a hand on top of Shinobu's head. "It's time you understood that the world isn't as pretty and perfect as you think it is. Keitaro's a man… and expecting him to wait forever to have one of his basic needs fulfilled is the same as him saying that he'll be your boyfriend as long as he doesn't have to hold your hand or kiss you."

She drew a deep breath.

"…can you understand that?"

"Y-yes," Shinobu hiccupped.

"So what are you going to do, then?"

Shinobu wiped at her eyes. "I don't… I don't know," she admitted. "I… I just don't know. I want… to be with him, but you're right… I'm not ready for… for that kind of stuff." Desperately, she looked up into Kitsune's eyes. "What should I do?"

"Just spend some time and think about it," Kitsune recommended. "Think about what would be fair to him, and you. Ask yourself if you'd really be happy being that close to him and forcing him to keep his hands to himself. If you're really ok with that, I'll still support you, Shinobu…"

Nodding, Shinobu whispered, "Thank you, Kitsune. I'll… think about it."

With her stomach clenching so hard she nearly threw up, Kitsune managed a light, carefree smile.

"Anytime, Shinobu… any time…"

( 0 0 0 )

Rubbing her tired eyes, Motoko finally closed her notebook, stretching her arms up over her head and groaning with satisfaction as her spine let out a series of cracks and pops, releasing the tension in her back as she let out a mind-numbingly good yawn. With this assignment out of the way, she was free and clear for at least… three days.

When did high school get so hard? she thought, rising to her feet and letting out another yawn. Oh that's right… when it got near the end.

With only four months left in her high school career, Motoko found the promise of college life both frightening and thrilling. If she got accepted to Toudai, she would be entering at the same time as Keitaro, and while they would both be a year behind Naru, they would still all be together.

And just lately, togetherness had been on her mind quite a bit.

Naru, Keitaro, and Mutsumi, I suppose, she thought as she made her way down the stairs, though Naru doesn't mention her much, so they must not have any classes together. I don't know why I'm worried about her staying here – I should be more worried about Shinobu and Kitsune, and that's if I should be worried at all. Ok, she thought suddenly, time to stop being indecisive. Do I, or do I not… want to be in a relationship with Keitaro…?

Of course, if it was as cut and dried as simply saying yes or no, Motoko would have decided long before, though she willingly admitted that the idea was growing more and more attractive to her. Passing through the living room, she was quite surprised to find Keitaro dozing on the couch with his hands laced behind his head and a troubled expression on his normally happy face.

Approaching him, she found his sketchbook lying open on the coffee table, showing a rather detailed drawing of her sister's rose on one page… and a drawing depicting everyone living at the Hinata on the next.

We were never all together like this, Motoko mused, kneeling by the couch to study the drawing more closely. This has to be from memory…

Resting her cheek on her fist, she gazed down at the picture, impressed at the level of detail it depicted. Granted, these were people Keitaro saw every day, but as he had stated himself, portraits took a great deal more time than sketches, and as she looked at the picture, Motoko realized that she could see varying levels of detail in it, revealing – to someone looking specifically for it – who the manager had spent the most time looking at.

Naru, of course, was practically photorealistic, which was unsurprising, considering how much Keitaro had pined for her. Sara, Su, and Haruka were recognizable, but not much more. Again, not something that Motoko found shocking. Shinobu and Kitsune had a lot of detail, though, and in the picture, both seemed rather… sad, to Motoko.

Reflections, perhaps, of the way he saw them?

"So how do you see me, now that you've seen everything that I am?"

Motoko closed her mouth, blushing as she glanced over her shoulder to see if Keitaro had been awoken by her senseless rambling. Finding the manager still dozing, she turned back to the drawing, forcing her eyes to seek her own graphite-etched representation, and swallowing hard as she found herself looking down into a miniaturized mirror.

Everything was perfect. From her tied back hair, to her downcast eyes, to her unsmiling face, Keitaro had captured every aspect of her countenance – and had it been a full body shot, Motoko knew that he would have been able to reproduce her proportions in exacting detail, the hope that he might have forgotten how she looked without her shirt now nothing but a dim, hazy memory.

Why does this feel wrong? she thought, suddenly averting her eyes. It's a drawing of ME… I don't have to feel guilty for looking at it.

But guilt is exactly what she felt – as if she had somehow snooped into Keitaro's private thoughts and found herself reflected in his mind.

She squinted as she noticed something else about the picture, leaning down until her nose was almost touching the paper as she realized that, unlike the other people in the drawing, her lips were slightly parted, as if she was about to say something, or perhaps, as if anticipating a kiss – and, again, unlike everyone else… her checks were brushed with the faintest, almost undetectable tinge of pink, almost as if-

"What are you doing?"

"Gah!"

Motoko shot to her feet, banging her knee on the coffee table and losing her balance, pitching over backward and falling sideways onto the couch, landing with her side on Keitaro's stomach.

"…ow."

"Ah, sorry!"

Keitaro winced in pain, rubbing his tenderized stomach as Motoko pushed up off of him, trying to get back on her feet, but accidentally putting her hand on the sketchbook as she tried to use the coffee table for support and sending her right back onto him, this time driving her elbow into his gut.

"Wuff!"

"Sorry! I'm trying to-"

"Can you just… stay still?"

Motoko froze, nodding as Keitaro grabbed her elbow and gently levered it out of his abdomen.

"Wow," he gasped, putting her elbow next to him on the couch. "If you didn't like the drawing, you should have just said so."

"I didn't-"

"Aw, you tore it."

"Huh?"

A quick look at the sketchbook confirmed Keitaro's unhappy statement. The sketch of the Hinata residents had been torn cleanly in two, ripping right down the middle and leaving the entire house divided along a clear line. Looking at the picture, it occurred to Motoko that Keitaro was not in it at all, a detail she had missed at first as she had been too wrapped up in studying the other residents.

"Sorry…"

With a sigh, Keitaro slumped back on the couch. "It's ok," he said evenly. "I was going to redo it anyway… it wasn't very good."

"No, it was," Motoko said quickly. "Everyone looked really good."

"You think so?"

"Definitely."

"Th-thanks…"

Motoko decided, rather suddenly, that Keitaro looked very cute when he blushed. She leaned a bit closer, unconsciously searching for some topic of discussion that would allow her to keep him talking and let her get a better feel for what, exactly, she felt for him.

"How are things going with Shinobu?"

She winced at the frown that replaced his blush.

Poor choice.

Keitaro wet his lips. "Actually," he said softly, "things went really bad tonight."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," he went on. "She was really… I don't know, tense and uncomfortable – like she thought I was going to jump on her or something, and she kept looking at me from the side of her eyes, then looking away as soon as I looked back. It was really weird."

"Hmm," Motoko mused, "that is rather strange…"

Especially considering what she told me when she first asked you out…

"It's kind of a relief, though."

"How so?"

Keitaro looked awkward as he whispered, "If she loses interest on her own, I won't have to hurt her feelings."

Motoko nodded. "Understandable," she said quietly. "I don't want to see her sad any more than you do, Keitaro, but I think it's wrong to keep stringing her along. If she doesn't lose interest on her own, you're going to have to make it clear where you stand. Even if it hurts, it's better than letting her live with false hope."

"…I know."

Staring into his face, Motoko could not help but feel a pang of guilt at the look of distress in his eyes. I could have put that more tactfully, she thought. This has to be hard on him already.

"Is your training going ok?"

"Uh huh," Motoko nodded, unconsciously rubbing the bruise on her cheek. "I'm working harder than ever."

"I know," Keitaro said softly, "I hardly see you anymore."

"I'm not avoiding you," Motoko whispered sharply, unsure why she was pitching her voice so low. "I've just… had to make up for all the time I lost, that's all."

"I understand."

"Good…"

Motoko wet her lips, putting a restraining hand on Keitaro's shoulder as she leaned forward, letting her instincts guide her as Keitaro's eyes widened in shock.

"Motoko, I-"

"Shh," she whispered, closing her eyes, "don't say anything right now…"

"…ok."

A moment before their lips met, there was a softly gasped, "Oh my…!" from the vicinity of the doorway, followed by a soft thump, breaking the moment like fine china.

Opening their eyes, Motoko and Keitaro looked up, fully expecting to find Mutsumi passed out on the floor.

…instead, they found Shinobu.

Continued…

Author's notes: none.

Hawker-748 pre-read AGAIN, which is a shame, because I like his stories better than mine, and I want him working on them instead.