Disclaimer: see part 1.
Steel Rose
Part 11
By Random1377
Keitaro sat perfectly motionless for nearly a minute, gaping at Shinobu's prone form before rising quickly from the couch and nearly knocking the equally stunned Motoko to the floor. "S-sorry," he stammered, helping her regain her balance before hurrying to Shinobu's side. "Hey, hey Shinobu, are you ok?"
The purple-haired girl groaned, shaking her head groggily as Keitaro and Motoko helped her to her feet. "I think so, Sempai," she murmured, blinking repeatedly. "I just thought I saw…"
Her eyes widened as she looked from Keitaro, holding her right arm, to Motoko, holding her left, and back again, the thought processes running through her mind nearly visible as she tried to pull away from both of them.
"Easy," Keitaro said soothingly. "You fell pretty hard. We need to see if you hit your hea-"
"I'm fine," Shinobu cut in, finally succeeding in yanking her arm free of his grasp. "Just… let me go, Motoko!"
Motoko's expression was calm and collected as she tightened her hold on Shinobu's arm.
"No."
"Let… go…!"
Shinobu struggled, growing more and more desperate as Motoko refused to release her.
"I won't let you go until you listen," the older girl said firmly, "so you might as well stop fighting before you hurt yourself."
Defeated, Shinobu stopped her ineffectual struggles, sniffling loudly as she covered her face with her free hand and turned her body away from Keitaro.
God, I'm so sorry, Keitaro thought, nearly reaching out before Motoko caught his eye and shook her head, giving him a clear, 'I'll handle this' look.
"Shinobu," Motoko said levelly, "what you just saw… that's new, do you understand? It has nothing to do with what you and Keitaro have between you – and I'm the one who started it, so if you're going to be mad at someone, make it me."
"Wh-why?" Shinobu sobbed. "Why would you… try to do that? You know how I feel – I told you I l-" she cut herself off, yanking herself free of Motoko's grasp and stumbling into Keitaro's arms. "I love you," she cried, looking up into his face with wide, pleading eyes. "Sem… Keitaro, I love you so much." Her face crumpled as big, fat tears began to roll down her cheeks. "Damn it – why did I have to meet you now? If we'd met in a couple of years… I would have been ready, then." Burying her face in his chest she wailed, "It's not fair – it's not FAIR!"
Motoko opened her mouth, but Keitaro shook his head, glancing meaningfully at the door until the dark-haired girl got the message. Pursing her lips, Motoko nodded, slipping silently from the room and leaving Keitaro with Shinobu sobbing in his arms.
What was it Motoko said when she gave me that rose? he thought, reaching up and gently stroking Shinobu's hair. Something that's weak can seem strong, right? I know it was something like that. God, I don't want to be strong now…
"Shinobu…?"
Pressing her face tighter against his chest, the young girl refused to answer.
"Shinobu, will you please look at me?"
"N-no," Shinobu gasped, clutching his shirt in her small fists. "No, I don't want to – I don't want to see this!"
Keitaro sighed. "I wanted to tell you this to your face, but if you won't look at me, I'll just have to say it."
"No – don't!" the girl begged, hugging him fiercely. "Don't tell me you don't love me… don't tell me you want Motoko instead… don't… don't tell me that I might have been the girl for you if I was a little older, because I don't want to HEAR IT!"
Clenching his eyes closed, Keitaro whispered, "I wasn't going to tell you any of those things, Shinobu… but I have to say this now, because you deserve to know."
Shinobu whimpered, but offered no reply, her last outburst seemingly draining her.
"You are a fantastic girl, but-"
"No!" Shinobu screamed. "No, no, no, no! Don't-"
"-but I can't be with you."
Shinobu slumped against him, her legs no longer able to support her as her worst fears were realized. She wanted to sob – to pound on his chest and tell him that he was making a big mistake… but she knew it wouldn't change anything. Kitsune was right, after all. Even if she had been able to hold him, it wouldn't have been very long. She simply was not ready to offer him her body yet, and asking him to remain celibate for her would just be wrong.
Sniffling, she pushed him away… and before he could say a word, she leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him – long and deep and hard, throwing all of herself into it as she held onto his shirt, keeping him from breaking away before she was done.
When she finally stepped back, Shinobu wiped her eyes, her shoulders hitching as she stammered, "It doesn't… taste like lemons at all…"
Before Keitaro could ask what this meant, Shinobu turned away, walking towards her room with her head bowed and her back rigidly straight. As she reached the stairs, Keitaro blurted, "I'm sorry," bringing her up short as her shoulders trembled with repressed tears.
After a moment of silence, Shinobu simply walked up the stairs without looking back.
( 0 0 0 )
Things were quiet for a few days. Naru studied and went to school, Keitaro cleaned and sketched, Motoko practiced and contemplated, Kitsune worked and drank, and Shinobu avoided everyone, emerging from her room only long enough to cook and do her chores before sequestering herself once more and refusing to say a word to anyone no matter how insistent they got.
Even Su seemed to feel the bad vibes, growing exponentially more energetic as the others grew quieter, until Motoko had to take her aside and ask her to contain herself, telling her gently that while her enthusiasm was appreciated, it would probably be best if the younger girl reigned it in for a little while, and explaining that eventually things would get back to normal.
And so, time wore on. But as time is wont to do, it brought change – starting with nothing more than a simple, post-lunch conversation.
"Motoko," Mutsumi asked abruptly on one exceptionally chilly morning, "what happened to Shinobu?"
Looking up from where she had been putting the dishes in the sink, Motoko smoothly replied, "I don't know what you mean."
"Saa?" the other girl murmured. "How sad."
"What is?"
"…that you think I'm that stupid."
Motoko turned around, leaning against the sink and folding her arms over her chest. "I don't think you're stupid," she said flatly, impressed that Mutsumi was being direct for a change. "I just don't know, specifically, what you're talking about."
"Well," Mutsumi said thoughtfully, "for about a week now, just about since I got here, she's been hiding in her room and not talking to anyone. Now I know she used to be really shy, but the last time I was here, she was pretty comfortable with everyone… so I was wondering what happened."
Considering this for a moment, Motoko finally whispered, "It's… complicated, Mutsumi, and I don't think she'd want it spread around."
"Oh."
Mutsumi said nothing for a minute.
"Does it have something to do with the way Kitsune feels about Keitaro?"
"Kitsune?" Motoko snorted. "No, I don't think she has enough time between drinking and moping and selling DVDs to spend much time with Keitaro."
At least, not that I've seen, she amended mentally, reminding herself to ask Keitaro if Kitsune was coming on to him. Right, she thought dryly, because we have such an open relationship. Or would it be more appropriate to say that we don't even really HAVE a relationship at all?
They had something, that was for sure. When she saw him in the hall, there was always a brief moment of eminently pleasant tension in the pit of her stomach, and from the way he always averted his eyes and blushed when she looked at him, it was clear that he was feeling something too.
He didn't try to stop me when I was going to kiss him that night, Motoko thought, forcing herself to remember that the encounter in question had pushed Shinobu to the breaking point. So maybe… I should try again.
Mutsumi, who had been thinking about what Motoko had said, suddenly shrugged and murmured, "Funny, the way she looks at him, and the way he looks at her… I thought for sure there was something going on with them."
Motoko froze.
"…the way he looks at her?"
"Uh huh," Mutsumi nodded. "They kind of… I don't know, hesitate, like there's something they want to say to each other, but don't know how, you know?"
Yes, Motoko thought immediately, I know exactly what you're talking about… but I haven't seen that – not with them.
Setting the last of the plates in the sink, she murmured, "Are you sure you're not imagining things?"
Wow, she mused, am I getting defensive about this? Time to step up or step aside, huh? Yes, I think it is… so which will it be?
Completely missing Mutsumi's response of, "Well, I didn't imagine them leaving together," Motoko decided that maybe it was about time she took the 'step up' option.
( 0 0 0 )
Kitsune talked animatedly as she walked along at Keitaro's side, pointing out some of the more memorable sights the city of Tokyo had to offer and trying to coax a smile out of him. They had been out on the town for several hours, and so far, Keitaro had not spoken more than a handful of words.
But Kitsune was not too concerned. She had seen him bounce back from worse than this.
And besides, she thought, this time… I'm here to help him bounce.
Shinobu, she reasoned, must have taken her advice and broken things off with Keitaro, as the two had been unusually quiet over the last few days. Kitsune could not say that she was happy about Shinobu feeling sad, but then again, she was not heartbroken about it either. After all… if Shinobu had still been clinging to him, Kitsune would not have been able to make her move.
Because this IS a move, she thought, eyeing Keitaro critically as they boarded the train that would take them home. Like I told Motoko and Naru, denial just isn't my style, so – hey… that rhymes.
She was proud to say that not a single thing about that evening was predicated by alcohol. Well, nothing except the spontaneous decision to pull Keitaro out of his room and haul him down the stairs – but that was excusable because it had been inspired by only a few drinks, and the rest of their date was pure Kitsune charm.
And charm him, she had, for while he had not said much, over the course of their time together, he had grown less and less tense, and his chin – which she thought would never come unglued from his chest – slowly rose until he was almost seeing past the ground in front of him.
Progress? Definitely.
I just need… a little more time.
Time for what, she was not sure, but Kitsune felt sure that if she could just have Keitaro to herself for a little while longer, she would find the answer to the question that had been running through her mind for the last month.
What was she doing with her life?
It was Motoko's fault, really. She had decided this one night after emptying a few bottles of sake single-handedly. If that sword slinging hussy hadn't gotten all confrontational that day, I wouldn't have given it a second thought.
Needless to say, she had given it a lot of thought since then, and no matter how she approached things, she kept coming back to the fact that on the whole… her life was rather empty.
Well all that's gonna change, she told herself as they mounted the steps to the Hinata Sou. We'll just talk for a while, maybe… make out a little, and see where things go from there. I'm so tired of-
"Hiiiii…"
Kitsune nearly jumped out of her skin as Mutsumi popped out of the bushes next to the stairs and waved to them. "What the hell are you doing there?" she gasped, feeling woozy from the sudden shock.
"Lost my shoe," Mutsumi replied dreamily, gesturing vaguely in the direction of her feet. "Motoko was looking for you, Keitaro."
"Did she say what she needed?" Keitaro wondered.
"To talk," Mutsumi yawned, crouching back into the bushes to look for her missing footwear. "She mentioned something about this weekend, I think… I wasn't listening very well, I'm afraid."
An icy wave of fear washed over Kitsune. Just like Shinobu, she thought, grabbing Keitaro's hand. Well not this time…!
"If you see her, tell her we went back into town."
Before Keitaro could argue, Kitsune dragged him up the steps, looking everywhere to make sure no one saw them as she led him into her room, closing and locking the door behind her.
"Kitsune, what-mmmmph!"
Yanking him into a tight embrace, Kitsune clamped her lips down over Keitaro's. Not this time, she thought once more, spontaneously deciding on just what it was she wanted from Keitaro. I have to have something that's mine and no one else's – anyone could understand that, right?
Kitsune's tongue circled and danced with Keitaro's, her strong arms ensuring that he was not going to try pulling away as she maneuvered him towards the bed. "Ooo I didn't know," she whispered, pulling away for a moment to look into his eyes. "I didn't know how bad I wanted you." Deliberately, keeping his stunned eyes held with hers, she took his right hand and slid it under her shirt, pressing it lightly against her stomach. "Here," she breathed, slowly leading his hand upward, "this is where I want you to be…"
She closed her eyes, shivering violently as Keitaro got the message.
"Here…?"
Breathing erratically, Kitsune nodded. "There," she confirmed, wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue, "right there…"
For several moments, neither spoke, letting the sound of cloth and gasps and rough breathing fill the air until finally, they were lying on Kitsune's futon, kissing deeply. Her shirt lay in a ball at the head of the bed, and after several seconds, his joined it.
"Wait!" Keitaro gasped, pushing at her hand as she tentatively ran her finger along the zipper of his pants. "Kitsune, wait, we-"
"No," Kitsune murmured against his throat, "no, don't make me wait… I'm tired of always waiting… I want this, Keitaro – I want this right now."
This is the only way.
Ketiaro's eyes went wide as she slowly tugged his zipper down, his heart hammering almost audibly as his pants found their way to the side of the bed.
"Mitsune, I don't think-"
"Good," Kitsune cut in urgently. "Don't think, Keitaro, just… don't think."
That's right, she thought, yanking his lips back down to hers. Don't think… just be with me.
After a few moments of awkward, fumbling resistance… Keitaro broke down and complied.
"Oh God…!"
It was like heaven… sweet and slow and gentle, and Kitsune found her world shaking as she learned firsthand just how good it could be to give in and let one's desires run wild. She held him with desperate strength as he moved, gasping softly in time to his movements and trying to remember why she had waited so long to let herself feel this wonderful closeness, the only thing spoiling the mood the unspoken but absolute need for silence.
If they were found like this, there would be no forgiveness.
Wrapped in his shuddering arms after they had finished, the answer to her internal question became quite clear. All of her other relationships had been child's play – nothing but preparation for a real, honest to God adult partnership. If she had even tried to get this serious before, it would have fallen apart because, quite simply, she was not ready.
But that was then, she thought, resting her head on Keitaro's chest. This is now. And I'm ready for this… I am sooo… ready for this…
Closing her eyes, Kitsune thought of all the ways things would change. She could not slack off anymore, that was for sure… and the drinking would have to stop. Sure, a toast every now and then would be ok, but when she was drunk, her senses were dulled – and she did not want to miss anything anymore.
Her youth was behind her. It was time to grow up. Holding Keitaro a bit tighter, she squashed the voice in the back of her mind that kept trying to scream 'what have you done?' and drifted off to sleep with a final, sparkling thought lingering in her mind.
I'm ready…
To be concluded.
Author's notes: now… things get complicated.
Hawker-748 pre-read this convoluted mess and helped me stay on course, so big thanks are going out to him. Hope you're ready for what's coming up.