I only want to be accepted.

chapter 10: I want to prove myself part 2

A.N thank you to all my reviewers.

Dooley: thanks as always

DarthBecca: next instalment is here!

malfaldaweasley: thanks. battle with dumbledore isnt in this one im afraid. :(

NicksterPotter: thanks!

Hermione walked from the kitchen with a bottle of water in one hand and a little smile on her lips. She couldn't believe what happened 10 minutes ago. She - Hermione Granger had just beaten 3 fully grown wizards in a dwell. She was more than happy. Things were finally going right for her, nothing could spoil her day, not even her meeting with Snape. Except, except Charlie, there was a little nagging at the back of her mind, telling her that she had to do something. Shaking her head and pushing that thought to the furthest crevice of her mind. She walked into the Black study, where her very pissed off potions master was waiting for her.

'You're late.'

He didn't turn to face her. He stood with his back to her, looking out the window. It was raining. Hermione rolled her eyes, trust him to keep up his greasy persona. He wasn't going to let him spoil her mood.

'Sorry, training ran a little long.'

'That is no excuse; the Dark Lord will not entertain such pathetic excuses!'

Hermione was taken back by his sudden abrupt harshness. She thought that he might be a little more relaxed with her, considering her role with the Order now. She hated people talking down to her. Yes, at school she had to take it, and when she was at home talking back wasn't an option, but now, now she was out of that hell hole, why should she take it? She wasn't at school now and she certainly wasn't at home.

'I don't mean to be rude Sir, but what's your problem? Why are you being so nasty?'

I don't have time for this. Why can't she just do what I ask? Insufferable know-it-all.

'I haven't the faintest idea what you are talking about Miss Granger, so stop your nonsense and pay attention!'

He turned his back to her again and started to walk a few feet away from her. She knotted her brow,

why is he treating me like a student?

'That…! The rudeness! We are not at Hogwarts any more, so can you treat me like a human instead of a student?'

Snape spun around,

how dare she speak to me like that?

He walked over to her and stood 6inches from her. His 6'1 frame towered over her, she wasn't a small girl 5'7 but that didn't stop her from being intimidated by the slimy, bitter, overgrown bat.

'Miss Granger, It may of slipped your mind, but I am still your professor and I will treat you as I wish.'

'You are not my professor at this moment in time. I don't care for your rudeness, so if you are not going to treat me as an equal then I am leaving.'

She turned her back on him and made to leave, only stopping at his raised voice.

'AN EQUAL? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU ARE MY EQUAL?'

'HOW ABOUT THE FACT WE ARE BOTH RISKING OUR LIVES AS SPIES FOR THE LIGHT SIDE?'

Never in his whole career as a teacher had anyone ever stood up to him like that. He was shocked to say the least.He was always used to people cowering away from his glare but not this time, not this girl. He didn't know whether it was her new found power that increased her attitude or not, but he actually admired it.

He smirked at her.

She was right, maybe he should treat her with more respect - especially considering what she was going to be doing.

'Ok, ok Hermione. I will treat you as an equal, on one condition. You -under no condition- are allowed to call me Severus. You may call me sir or professor.'

'That's hardly fair, I'll call you Sir in front of everybody else, but when we are in these sort of circumstances please allow me to call you Severus.'

He mused on that.

I suppose it won't be that bad.

'Fine. Now we don't have much time, sit down, and I can run through what's been said.'

Smiling to herself, she sat in the chair in front of him that he offered her. The atmosphere around them seemed more relaxed. Perhaps it was because the formalities had been dropped. Perhaps it was because of the situation they were in, they weren't sure.

'Right, I don't know if Dumbledore has spoken to you yet today, but I went to his side last night and told him about you.'

A cold air swept over her, sending a shiver down her spine. Hearing him say those words didn't seem right, they seemed real. Like this was actually going to happen and wasn't all just an idea.

'What did you say?'

Her voice was a little shaky, he paid no heed to it.

'I said that I might be able to recruit a very powerful witch into our ranks. I said that you were still at school but your power exceeded anything I had seen before. He seemed interested in you. Started to ask a lot of questions-'

He didn't continue, they were interrupted a knock at the door.

'Enter.'

It was Harry and Ron. They came into the room and looked quite surprised that Hermione and Snape actually sat across form each other -calmly. She stole a glace at Snape, he looked very pissed off.

'What is the meaning of this?'

'My mum sent us to see if you and Hermione will be joining us for lunch.'

He sighed and turned towards her.

'Miss Granger would you mind if we ate in here? We have a lot to get through and I have to be away soon.'

Hermione could have fallen off her seat laughing at the expressions on Harry and Ron's faces. They had never seen Snape be polite to a student before; let alone a Griffindor. Suppressing a giggle she replied

'Sure Sir, if that's what you think is best.'

'Tell Molly we are eating in here.'

He didn't even face the boys when he said this. They just stood there gobsmaked. Snape eventually turned to the still boys

'Go, away with you!'

They turned and practically ran from the room. Once the door was closed Hermione burst out laughing. Snape gave her a curious look.

What was she laughing at.

'What?'

'Did you see their faces? Merlin! What a picture!'

'Yes, your two body guards did seem quite confused.'

He waved his wand and a plate of sandwiches appeared in front of them with a few bottles of butterbeer.

'Thanks.'

'You're welcome. Right where was I? Yes, well I eventually told him who you actually were.'

'What do you mean?'

'That your Potter's best friend. And a Muggleborn.'

'O...'

'He was quite surprised that I would actually suggests bringing filth into his ranks-'

Hermione's head shot up; hurt.

'Excuse me?'

'His words Hermione, not mine.'

She looked down at her plate still hurt by his words. Did she really want to get involved in something where she was still going to be dirt?

'Hermione, you must understand that this attitude will not be uncommon within the meetings and such. That type of prejudice is going to be thrown at you left, right, and centre.'

'I know, but well it's just a bit of a surprise I guess.'

'You are going to have to accept it.'

There was silence between the two. Hermione, still rather hurt and confused, Snape really didn't know what to say to comfort her. He didn't really know how

'It doesn't matter, what else did he say?'

'Once I explained that you could be a vital asset to us, being so powerful and so close to Potter and Dumbledore, he began to see it my way.'

'And...?'

'And before he makes any firm decision he needs to meet you, see if you are worthy.'

'When?'

'Tomorrow.'

Tomorrow? That's so soon! I haven't had time to prepare! Seeing the worry on her face he carried on.

'I know it's soon, but you'll be fine. You just have to pretend to really hate Potter, Dumbledore and the light side.'

'That's going to be hard.'

'He can tell a liar from miles away so you must make it believable. He will question you and try and catch you out-'

'What sort of questions?'

'Like, 'you seem to worship the ground that Dumbledore walks on...'

'Ok I think I get it,

Dumbledore is nothing more than a Muggle loving fool, I despise anyone who thinks otherwise. The light side are lower than the dirt on my shoes.'

Then, making the two of them jump a foot in the air, a voice came from the door and interrupted them again.

'I sincerely hope that you don't think that Miss Granger.'

Hermione spun around in her chair to face her headmaster. Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth.

'Professor! I'm sorry I didn't mean-'

He chuckled at her expression. His eyes annoying twinkled at her.

'It's ok child, I know what you were doing. I just came to ask you to meet me in the Training room after you dinner this evening. I'll leave you to it.'

He turned and left them. Hermione was bright red, embarrassed beyond belief. Snape smirked at her expression too.

'You were pretty convincing, but not enough, that will not fool him. We'll try some more later.'

'Ok, what next?'

'What you are to wear.'

'O.'

'Stand up and I'll transfigure your clothes.'

Hermione was nervous. More than nervous, almost hyperventilating.

'Look, I'm not sure about this-'

'Hermione, there is no way you can do this if you do not know how to look.'

'I know, but I'm not used to things like this. I don't dress like that. It's not me.'

'Hermione, you are not trying to be you. You trying to be - his bitch.'

'Nicely put. But still, I'm a little uncomfortable.'

'WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE!'

Hermione stared at him in shock.

'Look, you don't really have a choice in this. You have to do this or you will fail and you don't want that do you?'

'No, but-'

'No buts! Come on.'

'Fine.'

He waved his wand and instantly her jogging bottoms and top were turned into a halter neck, very short blue dress. It had a never ending plunging neck line and was cut half way up her thigh. The back tied up with ribbons. All in all the dress didn't leave much to the imagination. She looked down at herself and was shocked. She didn't know whether she liked it or not.

'Well?'

'It's...it's well erm revealing.'

'Of course it is! This is what he likes.She crossed the room and stood in front of a mirror. She actually looked good.

'Hermione, I suggest you try dressing a little differently at Hogwarts. There are many Death Eater children and can easily report back to him. It is possible that you might have to change your whole attitude towards Potter. We will have to see. But now you know what he likes, so you can do it yourself in future.'

'Yes thanks. Severus? What are the chances of me having to change my attitude towards Harry?'

'It depends on whether he sends some of his Death Eater Jr's like Malfoy, Parkinson and Zambini to keep an eye on you. You might have to have a fake argument to show tension between you. It depends. You will have to do whatever he wants.'

She was thinking about how this might affect her chances with Harry. She really liked him and didn't want to go the whole year with them hating her or her having to stage fights for his benefit. They were her best friends.

Again he waved his wand and she was now back in her jogging bottoms and t-shirt.

'Ok one last thing before you can go. Do you remember when Potter had to have occulmency lessons?'

'Yes,'

'Well you'll have to have them too. Lets just hope you're a little better than him. I'm going to cast the spell and you need to do everything you can to stop me entering your mind. I don't expect you to do it first try.'

'Ok. Shoot.'

She stood about 10 feet away and watched as he swished his wand. A flash of green light came towards her and the impact sent her back 2 feet. Flashes invaded her mind.

She was in the training room with Sirius, Remus and Mad eye. She had just sent Remus flying and was now crouching behind the boxes, catching her breath.

Standing at her bedroom door with a smile on her face, she turned around and saw Harry. His face sent an unusual heat through her body.

She was about 10 years old, in her garden wearing a summer dress. All her family was around her. Her aunt pulled her to face her and started shouting at her. 'Stupid little bitch.' 'Think you're so clever don't, you?' 'You-are-nothing!' Hermione ran back into the house and cried on her pillow.

Jason hitting her in the kitchen. Falling to the floor in a blur. She could feel the bruise on her cheek.

Dan, his body pressed against hers. Tears streaming down her face. Her, crying out in pain.

That was enough for her. She shouted out and waved her wand. She wasn't sure what spell she cast but it must have been a powerful one. She opened her eyes and saw that her potions professor was backed against the wall panting heavily. They both stared hard at each other not knowing what to say.

He had just seen all of those images. He saw her family, Jason and Dan. Tears sprang into her eyes.

Snape couldn't believe what he just saw. He knew what she had been through but never actually knew, he actually felt her pain. He saw he awful family. He saw her so-called family beating her. He saw the rape.

He looked over to her and met her eyes. They were filling with tears.

'Hermione I-'

'Don't. Just don't.'

'Maybe we should leave it for now. Why don't you go freshen up for dinner. I need to speak with Dumbledore.'

She didn't say goodbye. She just opened the door and left.

ok please please please review!

raven

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