starryeyedcordy, ellieincarnate, & HYPNOTiSED: Thank you for the reviews. I hope I don't too much disappoint you guys.
Disclaimer: Believe me, if I owned Degrassi, I wouldn't be writing fan fictions, cuz you could watch what I wanted happening on CTV/the-N.
R&R Tell me if you don't like it. Tell what I have done wrong. I want to know.
Chapter 6: I Drive Myself Crazy
He sat back against his bed in his small room of his small house. He knew why he had come back, but why, why was he still there? He thought coming back to his parents was the answer, but he felt miserable. Sure, he had finally gotten away from the land where everyone thought he was a hero, but he had nothing going for him here.
"Sean Cameron! If I could just talk to you for two minutes on camera?" He could hear the reporters voice so clearly. Ellie's voice followed. "Come on Sean." she had said to him. But the reporter had cut in again. "Your boyfriend's a hero. All I want to know is what it feels like." He saw the people standing around looking at him, pointing at him.
"Um, I guess I'm about to find out." he had replied. He didn't feel like a hero. All he had done was so unreal to him that it hadn't even registered what he really had done. It was a joke to him.
Then Emma had walked into the room and hugged him, crying. "Sean. Sean. I don't know what to say. You saved my life. You saved my life."
As he hugged her back with her tears soaking his shoulder, the full impact of what he had actually done finally hit him. He had saved someone's life. Made it so that Emma could see another day. He would have done it for anyone, but he hadn't even been thinking when he had done it.
And then he had freaked and left. Seeing how much it was hurting Ellie nearly killed him. The tears in her eyes, the pain on her face. He knew she understood why he had to stay, but that didn't make him feel any better about it. "But Sean, I love you." He had loved her too. The last thing he had said to her was that he loved her. But… he had added the word 'but' to the end of his "I love you." But Ellie…
But what? There should have never have been a but. He had loved her. More than he ever thought he would love someone in a high school relationship. But he had to get away.
"When are you coming back?" Ellie had asked him. He hadn't answered. He didn't know when he was going to be back. He didn't know if he could face going back. Would he still be treated the hero? Or would he be just another face in the crowd again?
He glanced at the calendar once again. He had done that several times throughout the day. The red circle around today's date was still there, looking back at him. He tried to will it to disappear, but it wasn't working. It was just another reminder of what he had left behind.
He knew he should do something, or the red circle would haunt him for the next half of the month, same as it had for the first half of the month. But he didn't know what to do, what he could do, to make up for what he had done.
He sighed heavily, got up, and took a piece of paper from a drawer. It was slightly crumpled, but if he took the time to care, he might change his mind. He found a pen lying on the floor.
He sat back against his bed and put the pen to the paper, hoping he didn't sound desperate, pathetic or alone.