Author's Note: Mostly J/L interaction here. I'm not quite happy with this chapter, but it's going up since I haven't been contented with it for a couple of weeks now. Thanks for the support and reviews. And no, Madame-Knight, I had no idea it was called an interabang :P

Chapter 10

By: Almicene Melwen

Updated: October 31, 2004

His grip was almost painful on her wrist, but Persephone didn't dare complain at the moment. She had never been scared of Sirius Black before, but the dangerous look on his face when he had faced Regulus (were they really brothers?) dared anyone to try and cross him. She had been so caught up with Regulus that she had ignored everything around her, taking comfort in his words – how it hadn't been her fault.

It was Lily's. Not only was it Lily's fault, it was because of mudbloods that people like her parents had been killed. They should stay out of the wizarding world, and remain in the muggle one, where they belonged. They had no right to go to Hogwarts and bring the wrath of Voldemort upon Purebloods. That was what Regulus had told her, and she had taken the idea to heart. He had been so kind to her, and he had even defended her from a couple of mudbloods who attacked her in their hatred towards Purebloods. She was jerked out of her reverie when she nearly tripped over one of the stairs. Sirius steadied her, and gave her a hard look.

Sirius continued to drag her towards some unknown destination, not saying anything. He wouldn't do anything to her would he? But then again, she hadn't cared for a while what would happen to her. So why was her heart pounding wildly in her chest?

The way that James was growling would have made Sirius proud if he had heard it. He crushed the parchment he was holding, not realizing he would have to redo his essay if he continued. His current source of anger was at the girls who thought he was the womanizing type and thrown themselves at him, thinking all it would take was an exaggerated swagger of the hips or batting of the eyelashes to bag him. "No bloody way," he thought.

James stormed through the hallway, daring anyone to be out late enough after curfew. The first couple of nights after the blasted article in the magazine had come out, there were a large amount of points lost from many houses, as the girls decided that the Headboy's nighttime patrols were an excellent way to corner him. He smirked at the memory. He certainly had showed them. James knew he was a bit self-centered, arrogant, and had a filthy temper, but he was most definitely not a man whore. How the hell he had acquired the charmer reputation was beyond him. He thought the scowling, brush offs, glares would be enough to clear the misconception that all Hogwarts witches had of him (including Lily, he thought, irritably) but he had been wrong. If anything, they decided he just needed to be taught how to treat a woman.

Grimacing, James found a bench etched into the alcove of a hallway, and sat down with his back against one end and his legs bent to serve as a writing surface. Unrolling the parchment, James muttered a spell to get rid of the creases he had introduced. Reading over his scrawls, he didn't notice the figure watching from the shadows at the end of the hallway. She sighed softly, tucking a loose curl behind her ear as a nervous habit. A clip held her hair back, but Lily had left her hair with loose curls, too tired to straighten them. She knew she was supposed to patrol with James, but neither really minded when the other didn't accompany them. It was an unspoken understanding. She also knew which hallways he monitored more frequently than others, and his mutterings helped her to find him as well. Lily hadn't meant to follow him, as he had still yet to apologize or talk to her since a few days past. But as much as she hated it, she had missed him terribly. And the more time that passed by the less she remembered exactly why she was upset with him. He hadn't been in his room much lately, making it harder for her to see him.

So here she was, against her will (and good common sense she told herself), just watching him silently. Her black cloak hid her very well in the darkness of the castle. After a few minutes of watching James grumble and ruffle his hair in frustration of his essay, Lily tried to slip away, moving slowly.

The small movement James saw from the corner of his caused him to pull out his wand and point it at the darkly dressed figure. "Show yourself," he ordered. It better not be another bloody girl, he thought.

The figure hesitated and James growled. "Now!" he said dangerously.

She stepped forward, and James eyes' widened in surprise. "Lily?" A hundred thoughts rushed through his mind at the same time, but he found himself tongue-tied. He had spent a good while thinking of the best way to apologize to her, but hadn't thought of the perfect way to tell her he was sorry. Not to mention he was horribly confused about their last confrontation. Did she really like him, or was only physically attracted to him? And now, would she like him for who he really was or just his reputation? Doubts flooded his mind, but he quashed them for the moment, and said, without his usual tact. "What are you doing here?"

James could have kicked himself. She was Headgirl, and obviously she was patrolling.

She humored him by answering. ". . . Patrolling."

Lily was nervous, he could tell. And the pause in her answer made him think his question was not so moronic after all. After all, why was she skulking about in the hallway instead of marching down it? An idea popped into his mind and he grinned. Maybe physical attraction wasn't so bad after all. He joked, "Have you come here for another one of my amazing kisses?"

It was the wrong thing to say to Lily he realized after she glared at him and stalked off.

"Go after her you idiot!" he told himself. Scrambling off the bench, forgetting his homework, he caught up to Lily in a few easy strides of his longer legs.

She seemed determined to continue, so he stopped her by placing his arm against the wall, barring her path, just as he had on the first day of school. He used his other arm to hold her shoulder and turn her to face him.

He met her angry green eyes, but beyond that he saw hurt. James sighed, thinking how much of an idiot he was for causing her pain yet again. He wanted to find the perfect words to make it up to her, but in the end settled for a simple apology, hoping it would be enough. "I'm sorry," he murmured sincerely.

Lily gave him a half-smile, her eyes showing signs of her fatigue. Her angry expression turned into a friendlier one. "I know."

He frowned. "If you knew then why the bloody hell did you get mad and run off?"

She laughed. "You're . . . " she started to say, almost telling him how adorable he looked when brassed off, but caught herself. Her eyes sparkled with humor. "You're fun to riffle up."

Just looking into her eyes, James got the distinct impression that she wasn't one of the masses or just another girl. Lily had liked him before. She had put up with his filthy temper, his arrogance, and being a prat in general. Hoping, he wasn't crossing any lines, James reached towards her and pulled the clip holding her hair off.

Lily gasped, putting her hand on top of her hair and then reaching for the clip that James just stole. Loose curls spilled down, framing her face. She would have blushed at the admiration in James's eyes, but she wanted her clip back. It was one of her better hairclips that she had saved money for to buy in Hogsmeade. It was black with mother-of-pearl inlaid along the handle, a one-of-a-kind the shopkeeper had told her, not to mention very useful when she was too lazy to properly do her hair.

"James!" she protested as he hid it in his cloak, knowing full well Lily would have to grope him to find it. She put her hands on her hips, trying to make him give it back with a half-hearted glare. But when she met his eyes, she promptly forgot her clip. His eyes were dark with desire and she couldn't have turned away even if she wanted to.

"You're beautiful you know," he breathed softly, taking her face in one hand, stroking her cheek with his thumb. He was straying very close to the boundaries he had set for himself. He didn't want Lily to get hurt because of him and he knew getting close to her would make her a prime target. But he couldn't help himself. The tantalizing kiss she had given him had only fueled his desires. And the way she was looking at him now wasn't helping. James was certain she didn't realize the effect her full lips and the feel of her bare skin against his arm had on him.

Now Lily did blush. She tried to move out of his arms, but he closed the small space between them. "Hey, I'm still upset with you," she reminded him, but her voice came out softer than she liked as she sensed his intentions. "You're a prat, you hide things from me . . . " she trailed off as he caressed a loose curl.

Her statement didn't deter him, as he watched in amazement the darkening color of Lily's pretty green eyes. He licked his lips subconsciously and felt Lily shiver in his arms. "Pull away, pull away now," James kept telling himself, but his body wasn't listening. She was temptation incarnate.

James leaned forward, wanting nothing more than to feel the softness of her lips again, and a much more proper kiss than last time. His thoughts and trepidations were hazy now as he began to close the last few precious inches.

Lily's next statement stopped him cold.

"I'm not pureblooded James," she said softly, her voice full of sorrow and regret. Lily didn't want to get hurt because he thought she could use her as a short-term fling. She needed to stop things before they got too out of hand. However his reaction surprised her.

His eyes turned hard, and he shook her shoulders. "You shouldn't believe everything you read Lily," he reprimanded. "You of all people should know that." He narrowed his eyes. How could she think so little of him?

"How am I supposed to know anything about you when you won't even tell me?" she demanded, trying to make him see reason. He knew much more about her than she did about him. Lily didn't mention the rumors of his lovemaking skills being traded among the Gryffindor girls, or how much it hurt to find out the things she had told only him were common knowledge among the students. She stepped back from him, putting distance between them. It took all of her courage not to flinch from the anger in his gaze.

"I shouldn't have to tell you!" James growled, his temper getting the better of him. All the pent-up frustrations, stress, and anxiety over the past few days were coming out. "You don't have to know every secret about me to have just a little faith in me!"

Lily gave him a dirty look, her stance steeled against his anger. She looked every bit the Gryffindor at the moment. "Every secret James? How about things like your family? How many siblings do you have? What are your parents like? You never trusted me with anything, let alone secrets."

James grimaced, knowing everything she said was true. He hadn't told her much because he wasn't sure how she would react. He loved the freedom she offered in her ignorance of his background, of his wealth, and he hadn't wanted to lose it. But now he had to be more realistic as everyone's attention was focused on him and by association Lily if she were to become close to him. It was well time to let her go once and for all, before he became more attached to her, before she realized what he was doing.

"You're right," he said with a cruel, cold smile – one that he had perfected over time to keep people out of his life. "I never trusted you because I didn't feel you were important enough." He paused, giving her time to absorb the meaning of his words. "You didn't mean anything to me and never will."

Lily gasped, surprised and hurt at the sudden change in his demeanor. Tears formed in her eyes, but she stubbornly refused to let them fall. James turned away from her, filled with a deep sadness because he knew he had effectively severed any ties he had with her. It was for the best, he convinced himself.

The words had really stung, especially coming from James. Lily believed the malice in his tone at first, but as she had told him before, she wasn't Head Girl for nothing. "Oh no you don't," Lily said determinedly, moving around him and blocking him.

He scowled at her. "Get out of my way."

Lily stood her ground. "No," she said with her chin lifted in the air. She guessed at the reasons for his harsh words, and come to a conclusion. Now she would see if she was right.

Frowning, he pushed her aside with a strong grip on her arm. Lily used the opportunity to grab the Gryffindor tie dangling from his neck, pulling him down to her height. Lord, he was tall! She didn't give him time to react as she pressed her lips to his.

James, to his credit, tried to resist by opening his mouth no doubt to tell her off, but Lily deepened the kiss. She had never been so scared and excited at the same time. James didn't move for a couple of seconds, but suddenly pulled her tightly against him, taking over the kiss. His mouth dominated hers as he kissed her back hungrily.

For a few seconds Lily thought she had done something wrong as James had stood there unmoving. After all, she had very limited experience, but the way he reacted after his initial shock told her she was doing something right.

James tangled his fingers in her hair, his mouth moving over hers expertly. He could tell she was inexperienced by her shy responses, but he was definitely no closer to being in control because of it.

Lily stood on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck, pressing herself against him and it was all James could do not to ravish her right there. With a great effort, James pulled away, breathing heavily, his eyes never leaving the angel in front of him.

With cheeks flushed, and bright eyes, Lily said, "Now wasn't that the better way to tell me you liked me?"

James half-smiled. This wasn't going to make things any easier. He sighed, thinking of the problems they would both have to face now.

As if sensing his worry, Lily hugged him. "We'll talk about it tomorrow." James opened his mouth to protest, but Lily smiled mischievously. "Remember where that got you last time?"

He gave her a resigned smile, holding her in his arms, content to enjoy the small moment. "Tomorrow then," he conceded, placing a kiss on her soft auburn hair. James was surprised when Lily suddenly pulled away.

She gave him an impish smile, holding up her hairclip triumphantly, having successfully pick-pocketed him. "Finally!" Her eyes teased him. "Such awful sacrifice on my part to get it back though."

"Sacrifice?" James said mildly insulted. "Like hell!" he protested, drawing her back into his arms.

"Such sacrifice-" she began, but James cut her off with another one of his searing kisses.

Sacrifice indeed.