Author's Note: Sorry for the long time for the update. No idea when I'll get the next chapter up since I just graduated and will be in the process of moving and starting a new job during the next couple of weeks. It's not the fluffy chapter a lot of you were hoping for, rather a filler I saw as necessary.

Chapter 12: Heartbreak

By: Almicene Melwen

Updated: June 3, 2005

"What a mess," Persephone thought as she watched Lily and James from a well worn mahogany table in the library. It was quite obvious to her that her former best friend was uncomfortable with all the attention she was getting. Lily kept fidgeting with her necklace and was trying too hard to pretend the jealous stares didn't bother her. She fervently wished that she could help Lily overcome her anxiety, but this was something Lily would have to learn on her own. Finally overwhelmed, she watched as Lily panicked and left the library quickly. James had a crestfallen expression full of disappointment, resignation and despair. Persephone recognized that look. It was the same one Sirius had given her. She felt his quiet pain and decided she would straighten the boy out. This was something Persephone could do for Lily – reassure James.

Gathering her parchment and quills, Persephone headed over towards the table James was still sitting at. She hid an amused smile at his attempt to scare off a girl that had immediately slid into the polished wooden chair Lily had been sitting in. Straightening her shoulders, holding her head high, Persephone looked every bit a powerful witch. She needed to look the part if she was going to face an upset boyfriend that wasn't particularly fond of her.

Persephone could feel James' emotions – she didn't have to look at his face to sense his surprise and then anger. He held his tongue though as she faced the pretty brunette that had joined James.

"Off you go," said Persephone as she made a nonchalant motion with her hand, as if the very presence of the girl was not worth acknowledging for long. She turned to James.

"Excuse me!" demanded the girl, incensed that someone else dared to interrupt her time with Britain's Most Eligible Bachelor.

The girl had nerves; Persephone had to give her that, but it was far from enough to remotely intimidate her. Persephone turned back to her, fixing her with a cool, calculating gaze, not saying anything for a few seconds. She raised an eyebrow. "Are you still here?"

The withering look Persephone gave the girl made her rethink her stance and she gave a hasty apology to James before scampering off. She could always corner him later without this scary witch hanging around.

Admiration.

She felt the brief admiration James held for her before it was replaced with annoyance and anger. She was evoking that emotion a lot, wasn't she.

"Give me one good reason that I shouldn't hex you right now," James growled. The witch sitting in front of him had caused Lily a great deal of pain.

"I won't," Persephone said simply as she met James's eyes with her own. "I came to explain something to you about Lily." She paused, watching his reaction. James hadn't reached for his wand or left so she took that as a sign to continue. "You need to give Lily some time to adjust. Don't be selfish or stupid and think the way she's acting is all about you. It isn't."

"What do you mean?" James asked. How could she claim Lily's behavior had nothing to do with him. His brows knitted in confusion.

Persephone could see why Lily liked him. She rolled her eyes. "Boys," she muttered. "Look you're a bright wizard so hopefully I don't have to explain this more than once. Lily had a life before you, you know." James gave her a dark scowl at the implication he was daft. The blond witch thought about the irony of her lecture. She wasn't one to talk about Lily's life as if she knew every detail.

"She's not reacting well from the attention she's getting because she learned that it was a horrible thing. The more attention she got from her parents – the more jealous and hateful her sister became."

"Sister?"

"Lily never mentioned her?"

James shook his head.

"Well can't say I'm not surprised. She's not a great topic of conversation. I'd tried to forget I had a sister too if I had Petunia for a sister. Anyways, Lily tried to draw as little attention as possible to herself because she wanted a peaceful relationship with her sister. It didn't work though. She's the only witch in their muggle family, became a Prefect, and now Head Girl. Her parents adored her, and inadvertently made Petunia feel left out. Petunia tried her best to get some of the same kind of attention Lily had, but well…to be honest, she's just a plain girl, and her jealousy didn't do her any good." Persephone paused, looking at James to see if he was following her conversation. He was, so she continued.

"And now here you are bringing an entire country's worth…well two if you count France… of attention to her. She sees it as a force that breaks family and friends apart. Maybe it doesn't make sense to you, but that's the way she sees it." Persephone stopped, looking directly into his eyes. "And if you even think that you're good enough for her, then you'll help her through her insecurities instead of sulking like a spoiled child."

James looked pensive and started to say something but the blond witch interrupted.

"This stays between us," she demanded, no room for compromise in her voice, taking a deep breath, surprised that she had enough courage to face James.

James started again, this time managing to interrupt her. "Why should I believe anything you've said," he challenged. "You've done nothing but give her grief for the past few months."

Persephone sighed, breaking eye contact. "I haven't always been a good friend to her…"

James rolled his eyes at the understatement.

Her voice trailed off, sadness creeping through her voice. "She's still my friend even if I'm no longer hers." With that, Persephone walked off before James could add anything else, knowing that she hadn't directly answered his question.

James scowled at her retreating figure, annoyed that she had intruded on his business and the fact she hadn't bothered to answer his question. Persephone had made at least one valid point, James reluctantly admitted – he needed to be with Lily, reassuring her, instead of…what were her words? Oh right, he thought darkly, "skulking like a spoiled child."

Closing her eyes, Lily sat on a window sill of an old forgotten classroom. The room was darkening by the minute as the sun began to set and its light covered the distant mountains. This was one of Lily's favorite places to go, where the classroom stood unused by anyone except her as far as she knew. She lost herself to a particular memory that she had hoped would remain buried in the corners of her mind…with the help of a charm of course. But in the current situation with the excessive attention, had brought it back out. The headaches would only become worse if she didn't release it.

"Solvi," she whispered with her wand pointed at her head. Then Lily let her wand drop to the floor as the images flooded her mind.

"Freak!" Petunia yelled at Lily, pain evident on both their expressions, with tears running down her face as she kneeled next to the bodies of their parents. Petunia had brought Lily back home at five o'clock, just like their parents had asked. It was Lily's birthday and Mr. & Mrs. Evans wanted to decorate the house to surprise Lily.

Even now, the streamers hung perfectly from wall to wall, a beautiful strawberry ice cream birthday cake (Lily's favorite) sat on the table with candles unlit, beginning to melt and presents were on the coffee table near the couches. It hurt to look at them.

"Petty," Lily sobbed, reaching out to her older sister, wanting to touch her parents but not daring to if Petunia's murderous expression was any indication of the consequences.

"You did this didn't you! This is all your fault, isn't it!" Petunia screamed, examining her Mum and Dad for any indication they were still alive. There was none. She didn't need to be a witch to realize her parents had died of unnatural causes. Her Mum's body was bleeding from several places, her fists clenched tightly. Their father was not much better.

Lily took a couple of steps forward when Petunia rounded on her and slapped her.

"Don't you dare," she hissed, as her voice quivered.

Tears fell down Lily's face, but she bit back her sobs. She wanted to convince Petty so badly that it wasn't her fault, that they needed each other more than ever now. But she also knew that her efforts would be in vain. Any chances for reconciliation she had with her sister were now dead…along with her parents. Lily never wanted to hurt Petty by becoming a witch and attending Hogwarts, but her sister hadn't wanted to hear it. Lily tried to please her sister in hopes of restoring the relationship they once had by letting Petunia boss her around, hoping it would pacify her. So when Petunia glared at her, speaking words that haunted Lily to this day, she gave in to Petunia's wishes.

"Get out," Petunia barked. "You are not my sister any more. Your cursed magic brought this upon my parents. If you hadn't gone to that freak school this never would have happened and you know it." She glared at the redhead, daring her to contest her claims. "I don't want to see you ever again – not tomorrow, not at Mum and Dad's funeral, never again. Do you understand me, freak?" Petunia demanded. "They didn't deserve this!" she screamed. "Their only mistake was letting you stay after they found out you became a witch. Well I won't make their mistake. Now get out!" she yelled hysterically.

Lily nodded, her heart breaking with the loss of her family – living and dead. She spoke before apparating away, "I still love you, Petty." And with a 'pop' she left. Petunia shut her mouth, wanting to add another hurtful comment – thinking somehow that she would hurt less by hurting Lily. Petunia managed to call for help a few minutes later in between her anguished sobs.

Lily took a few deep breaths, willing herself not to break down in tears from her most painful memory. Picking herself up, she pocketed her wand that had fallen to the floor. She had work to attend to anyways. Lily decided she would work in the Common Room today, just in case anyone decided they needed her help with something. Hefting her heavy bookbag filled with extra Charms books, spotting a few students she knew along with the Slytherin Quidditch team on the way to practice. Her thoughts wandered to her conversation with Severus, and she wondered if he had taken to heart any of the unwanted advice she gave him. Of course!

Her mind quickly put together the puzzle pieces. Severus was the reason Narcissa had known. Lily had looked him in the eyes so he could see she was speaking the truth. She realized her mistake now – she had naively assumed that he would only look for that memory.

"That sneaky bastard," Lily thought darkly. She had expected better from him, but there was no other way Narcissa could have known all the things she did. Lily would talk to him later.

The seventh year witch entered the Gryffindor Common Room quietly, setting herself on a plush couch. About an hour later, with the occasional person talking to her, James came in.

Almost immediately the room quieted down. The boisterous chatting that had been going on before he arrived hushed. They had heard the rumors, and read the articles. The few Gryffindors that were in the room wanted to be the first to spread the gossip among their friends about the infamous James Potter…even at the expense of him and Lily.

Spotting the pretty redhead writing notes on the assigned reading for Charms, he sat down next to her. A few people had the nerve to openly stare at the two and James gave them his best glare in return.

Lily, for her part, continued scribbling on her parchment, pretending that it wasn't James sitting next to her. A strand of her hair fell in front of her face and she saw James twitch beside her.

He had managed to curb his urge to tuck her hair back into place in time. What excuse could he use this time to get her away from the prying eyes?

Lily coughed, then met James's eyes. "Time for patrol?"

Brilliant! "What a perfect excuse," James thought. He looked at his watch, and realized that she was right. She wasn't making excuses. "Yes, actually," he told her.

"Alright," she agreed.

When they were walking in the corridors, heading towards her room to drop off her books and whatnot, Lily could feel James continually glancing at her.

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his robes. That would prevent any urges he had to touch her.

"What?" Lily asked exasperated by their silence and his continual staring.

"One moment please," James requested as he dug the Marauder's Map from his other pocket. Dusting it off, and stopping a few feet behind Lily, he whispered the words to unlock the secrets of the map.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he whispered quiet enough so Lily couldn't hear as he tapped it.

Seeing no one close, especially not those nosy reporters, he returned the map to its blank state.

"Mischief managed."

Catching up to Lily, who raised an eyebrow at his strange behavior. "Sorry," he gave her a lopsided grin.

"You know, I would understand if you were whispering terms of endearment to other girls. Merlin, even other guys if you preferred it…but parchment?" She gave him an amused smile.

"There's only one girl I want to be whispering terms of endearment to," he said charmingly, sending a wink in her direction.

Color came to her cheeks, but Lily refused to let this sweet talker get the best of her. "Oh really? Well let me know when she comes along so I can leave you two alone then." She winked right back at him.

James frowned. How did she do that?

They had reached her Head Girl room. Remembering an earlier time they had come here together James stood there expectantly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "No hearing the password means no hearing the password pervert."

"But-" James protested.

Lily pointed a finger in one direction, towards the end of the hall, her foot tapping impatiently. "The sooner you go over there like a good little Head Boy, the sooner we can get patrols done. I'll only be a minute, really!"

The black-haired wizard gave her a look over his glasses that clearly said: 'fine, but I don't have to like it.'

His shoes made a noise as he walked to the end of the hall.

"Around the corner James. I know you have good hearing!" Lily admonished him.

She waited until he rounded the corner to whisper her password to Morrígan, the Celtic goddess, dressed in regal robes with a haughty air about her.

"Tiger Lily," she whispered sadly. She really needed to change the password one of these days. She had originally made it in honor of her parents – her dad had called her that – but every time she said it…

"Welcome back," said Morrígan, in her slightly accented voice, nodded her head slightly, before the portrait swung open.

The rose James had given her, or rather transfigured for her, sat perfect and untouched in its vase, its sparkling essence trailed to the floor and onto the desk. It had only slightly aged since he had first given it to her a few months ago, as it aging properties took after the tree it was from. Lily smiled at seeing it, letting her fingers touch the magical trails of glitter. It felt cool like running water, yet soothing.

Reaching the other side of her room, she dropped her books onto the small couch and headed back towards the door. A voice stopped her in her tracks though.

"So this is what your room looks like," came a suspiciously familiar baritone voice.

The redhead's eyes widened in shock. "James!"

She heard a chuckle and whipped her wand out toward the direction she heard the sound. Her green eyes narrowed. "You are in loads of trouble when I catch you James," she promised darkly.

"Then I shan't let myself be caught!" he teased.

Lily shot off a spell in the direction she heard his voice, but she missed. "Grr," she growled menacingly. "Where are you, prat?" she demanded, uncomfortable not knowing where he was.

"Right behind you." His warm breath tickled her ear and he wrapped his arms around her before she could turn around to hex him. James effectively pinned her arms to her side.

"Mmm, you smell nice," he complimented her.

Lily shifted uncomfortably. "It's the conditioner."

"Nope, it's you." He hugged her, planting a kiss on her cheek.

"Invisibility cloak or invisibility charm?" Lily asked, changing the subject. She was getting very uncomfortable very quickly at his attention.

"Cloak," James answered.

"Mind taking it off now?"

"Yep," he said, grinning even though she couldn't see it. He knew he wasn't completely forgiven yet, and didn't want to risk bodily injury.

"James," she said, releasing an exasperated breath.

"I know you want to hurt me and my chance for future children. Besides, I like this position." He rested his head on top of hers, feeling her agitation. "Alright, alright. Come with me though."

"To?" she asked.

"My house for Christmas dinner. All of us will-"James started, but she interrupted.

"No thanks." Lily's voice hitched in her throat, as sadness overwhelmed her. Her heart still ached with the loss of her family. Not to mention, there was that small voice that reminded her of what Narcissa had told her – pureblood. James's parents surely wouldn't welcome her, and she couldn't take the pain of another rejection especially during the holidays just yet.

"It's just dinner Lily," James argued. He wanted to share his favorite holiday with her, make her see there were people that loved her. He wanted to show her off to his parents. He was sure she would change their mind about the way they felt about Muggleborns.

"I said no James," she said, stubbornly. James' hold on her had loosened and she managed to break free.

Lily grabbed her wool scarf for warmth. It was a dark emerald green, just like her eyes. Her Mum bought it as a present for her, last Christmas actually. She pushed the memories away, determined to slog through work so she wouldn't have to think about them.

"Let's go," the redhead demanded fiercely.

"Is this because of your parents, Lily?" James asked, taking off his cloak, and tossing it over his arm. He winced as he realized how tactless he sounded.

Apparently Lily was surprised at his bluntness as well. "How dare you!" she hissed.

"I'm telling you because no one else will. Everyone is walking on eggshells around you Lily! I'm very sorry that you're hurting and I wish to Merlin that you would let me help you. But I can't if you don't move on! They're dead whether you accept it or not! Dead, gone, deceased." He took a deep breath. This was going to hurt; he just knew it, but someone had to bring her back to reality.

"I know that!" Lily said passionately, tears stinging her eyes, but to her great pride and credit, only a few tears slid down her face. "You of ALL people don't have to remind me."

"So I just imagined that owlery incidence then," James blurted out. Oops, he hadn't meant to mention that. "Er.."

Her mouth gaped open in surprise and hurt. No words came out as her eyes, full of pain, looked at James, unbelieving that he was the one to cut her so brutally with words. Lily shut her mouth quickly, gave him one last look full of betrayal, and ran out of the room.

"Wait! Lily!" But she was already gone. James hit his head on the nearest wall. He sighed. "I'm such a git."