The Turtle's Tail

In the garden Snake was a charmin;
And Eve said let's give it a try
Now lead us not into temptation
But no matter how hard I try
When in the garden and
Snake is a charmin'
And Ever says let's give it a try
Eve is the apple of my eye

- Bell X1

Owen of Jesslaw had been compliant, responsible and obedient for the full thirty-three days that he had been Lord Wyldon's squire. It was killing him, slowly but surely. On the thirty-fourth night, he decided to visit the inn, down the Cavon river, he'd seen on his first day in Cavall.

Unfortunately, his page training didn't include sneaking.

This much was apparent to Lord Wyldon's youngest daughter, who caught him creeping guiltily through the wing of the Cavall estate that housed family.

Owen, so absorbed in the daunting task of being quiet, didn't notice Teresa of Cavall until he (quite literally) ran into her.

Owen let out a guilty yelp, but upon seeing who he had come across, attempted to get the upper hand. "Lady Teresa, what are you doing up so late?"

Teresa arched an eyebrow, "Where are you going, Squire Owen?"

"I'm afraid that's not your business, Lady Teresa."

"Oh, isn't it?"

Owen sighed, this was hopeless. Lord Wyldon's daughter loved to argue; there was no way she'd willingly let him gain control this situation. "The kitchens."

"Pray tell, why are you going to the kitchens at this unseemly hour of the night?"

"I left my cloak there, earlier today."

"Mm, and you just remembered, I suppose."

Owen nodded vigourously. "Oh yes – I wanted to fetch it at once."

Teresa tilted her head. "Tell me Squire Owen, does this cloak happen to be anything like the one in your hand?"

He glanced down at his left hand, dismayed. "Err, yes. Quite alike."

Teresa smiled, showing her teeth. Owen shuddered.

"I am ever so fascinated, Squire Owen," stated Teresa, "in the possibilities of someone, or indeed something, being in two places at once. I believe I shall accompany you to the kitchens to witness this remarkable event. With your permission, of course."

"Of course," Owen agreed reluctantly.

Minutes later, Teresa looked pointedly around the kitchens. "Where was it that you left the cloak? In a cupboard?"

Owen shifted uncomfortably.

"In the flour sack, perhaps?"

"…"

"Oh, I know! Silly me, it must have been the bread ovens!" Teresa stalked over to the ovens and made a show of throwing open the doors. "Odd, I don't see any material – it must be at the back. I'll just climb in and –"

Owen, increasingly distraught, let out a strangled noise. Teresa looked at him, curious.

"Oh don't worry Squire Owen, I wouldn't want your cloak to get burnt by accident, if the cooks weren't to realize it's in here, it could be roasted to a toasty crisp. And that would be such a shame. Although I must say, it is an unexpected place to leave a –"

Owen couldn't take it any longer. "Fine! I wasn't coming to the kitchens."

Teresa looked uncompromisingly smug. "What were you doing, then?"

Owen pouted and scuffed his boots along the floor, "You know the Inn just down the hill?"

Teresa let out a sound of complete disgust. "Do I know The Turtle's Tail? May I remind you, Squire Owen, that I've lived here my entire life?"

"Yes, well. I was headed there."

She was aghast. "You were going to the Tail. Just like that."

"Err, yes."

"Why, in the name of the Great Godess, did my father pick such an unaccountably, insanely stupid squire?"

Owen was puzzled. "Lady Teresa?"

Teresa let out the breath she was holding and began to explain."Everyone in Cavall knows - save Squire Owen apparently - that all of the tenants on Cavall land are undoubtedly loyal to my father. He would have found out about his squire's disobedience at once."

Teresa raised her eyebrows and repeated for emphasis, "At once."

Owen, for his part, found Teresa's tendency to talk as if he weren't there extremely irritating.

He scowled. "Then what do you suggest, my Lady?"

"Don't call me that."

"Don't call you what?"

"My Lady," persisted Teresa, who paused to sniff disdainfully. "You're mocking me."

Owen rolled his eyes. "Then what do you suggest?"

"Teresa."

"No, about how I should get to the Inn.."

Teresa smirked. "Ah, that's simple enough, Squire Owen. Take me with you."

Owen blinked. There was no way.

Fenella